Darlings! Just a quick note to tell you how much i appreciate all ya grubby little messages, especially the ones that suggest i’m quite marvellous. You are reading this blog alongside thousands of people on each continent. Thank you for the topless pics. I’ve studied each and everyone of them quite carefully and very much enjoy the ones from the boys in Greece (you saucy little buggers.) I also enjoy the ones that you gals have decided to send me. Although some do have tits like 70 year old Orangutans, dolloped off with a round of beef burger nipples. It scares me a little. I enjoy the female form, i do…yet i’m not a lesbo! (I have had the one off lesbo experience though! If ‘one-off’ means ‘at least 4 times.’)
This being on TV thing has actually worked wonders for my love life. It seems i’m a ‘prize’ worth winning now and simply because i’ve appeared on a little box in your living room. It’s fooled boys into thinking i’m AMAZING and thank god for it too, as i was going through a bit of a dry spell. My vagina had glued itself back together because it believed it was never gonna get used again. Born again virgins rock! This heat is making me playful. I’m in the mood for breaking hearts and i hate it when i say that because it usually ends with me breaking my OWN goddamn heart. LOL. I’m pathetic…but being offered (Do a Nate Dog Voice) ‘more ass than a toilet seat’ so i’m the happiest hooker in town. I’m definitely going out tonight!! My Mojo is a working.
I’m having serious flash backs of being a young and hanging out on the ‘Walk of fame’ on Hollywood Blvd with these break dancer boys, dressed like a slutty cheerleader (well it was just a pleated denim skirt, pig tails and a cropped red and white England zippy top that just covered my boobs) and sipping Malibu neat from a Disneyland cup that i had stolen,whilst sitting cross-legged on someones big pink star, who had done something quite wonderful with their life! Around me was a bunch of homeless people, druggies dressed as Catwoman, Superman and a Robot and a few tourists who were foolishly paying Catwoman (the druggie) to pose with them in pictures. The tourists always believe Hollywood is AMAZING, but they don’t really see what’s going on behind the smoke and tinsel!! It was dark, warm about 11.45pm and i fancied this one italian ‘breaker’ boy (i love a dancer) called ‘Christoph’ who at first fancied me, but then believed i was a total ‘bitch’ after i lied to him. He was beautiful, struggling and i in true ‘Chrissie Wunna -running on emotions’ stylio, i just needed him in my life. I loved everything he stood for but i just didn’t fit in at all. (LOL.) I wasn’t a druggie, a prozzie, poor, or busking for money. I lived in WEHO with the perfect little life. I don’t know why i always pretended i was the ‘scum of the earth’ in order to fit in? I guess because nobody seems to adore the girl who has everything, right? That night was a marvellous world to visit though…for a few random yet warm evenings of ‘magic.’ (I can’t believe the druggie version of Catwoman was giving me advice!! Love it!)
I was thinking about it last night, whilst i was in the taxi, now 28 years old on my way to The Counting house, in Pontefract. I’ve grown so much and can’t believe how far i’ve come emotionally. As i sat in this taxi that was ploughing through the streets of Yorkshire England, my ‘misty watercoloured’s’ flooded back to me as i looked out the window and sighed. Long taxi journeys are good for that. It was like something out of a movie, but without the good mood music, and with a stranger in the front called John, whos job it was to drive me into the next chapter of my life, safely and for £8. I can’t believe the things i’ve done?? My life really has been a mess, a ‘mess’ that i caused myself in order to seek adventure…but it’s the ‘mess’ that’s going to make me! Watch!