Come the Giddy-Giddy to Mama!


Just got back from a darling bit of lunchy at ‘Toast’ on Wellington street in Leeds, with my blond *faux furred* friend..’Cheesecake’ and other company often to referred to as wine. 🙂 We dined on salad and bought Neurofen for afters. I’m still hungover, yet being told i have great ‘Wunna Quotes’, that i’m an ‘Asian Hooker’ that i still smell like sushi and that i’m going back to The Castle tonighta for a drink with ‘Katie’ who cute Keiran’s hair.I guess there’s nothing liek getting back on that pony! We’re not terrified of a big old drink and risking a big old fight. Keiran and I have been nothing but ‘fairytale’ today. He sent me a text reading: ‘I just want snuggles and kisses and cups of tea with you all day.’ What i’m learning about relationships is that it’s the art of being able to ‘make up’ that matters and not the actual fight. Our gloves are back up and dusty. if we can do anything…we can make up. It always ends in fucking :)…yet why nto celebrate it with an ‘ooh’ face.(The girls are currently impressed by the fact that once lost my belly button ring in a hot tub. To me that’s a dead normal occurrance? I remember looking down and it being gone. if they thought that was bad…they should’ve seen what i was doing 2o minutes before i lost it. 😉 I was sort of being launched into the air from the hot tuba nd landing on a willy on my way down..repeatedly..whilst doing Carry On faces. God, i was such a super slag in Hollywood. A dirty, super, clumsy…slag.) Oh shush..i’ve performed the ‘clean up,’ you know this. I’m a wife and mummy now (You have my apologies right now for the rubbishness of this blog. I’m currently on Operation ‘Match-maker.’ Some people are useless at getting together. I’m really good at it, not just because i’m a gutsy little shit…yet mainly because i’ve done it so many times. This time i’m doing it forever! I’ve found the man of my dreams. I found him and snagged him simply by telling him he was now ‘off the market.’ God! i still feel fucking hungover. SHIT!!! I love being in love!)- I’m currently having my quotes of the day typed at me. ‘Skype scares me, because i’m irressponsible with the ‘shut down’ of it all…’

So Keiran’s tottered off to a modelling agency today. The one that i accidentally sent his pictures too, cusing him to get signed. he signed a 3 year contract today and is getting sent out on his first ever casting. I’m soo proud and well at least now we have something to celebrate. I remember looking at him last night (pre-fight) and telling him that he shouldn’t doubt that he can do well. I’ve made an entire living from the art of modelling. He’s got to start somewhere..and well just like that..he has. (Behind every great man, is a fucking hot Glamour Puss.)

I have no idea what to write now, as my mind has decided to conk out on me due to old age and not being able to ‘hey hey partaaay’ as effectively as i would’ve wished too. I need a wee..AGAIN, due to strawberry Volvic and we’ve been talking about muffs and how hairy they get. It’s truely puzzling? Anytime you’re referring to your ‘Lady Garden’ as ‘The Jackson 5’ you know you’re in trouble. Especially when there’s flapjack on the table next to you. Everyone in the office was ‘pretend’ attempting to guess who had brought them in. They all tried to insinuate it was moi for  a mild second..then ‘Chris with the Quiff’ gave me a look that suggested, i was incapable of such a deed. TOO RIGHT! I’m far too selfish to by flapjack for everyone. I’m a nipple tassled ‘Kitty Queen’…with too much bronzer on. I don’t fucking buy flap jack. ‘Flaps’ on a Jack means a whole different thing to me! 😉

We’re all excited about the book now. I have an army of glitzy trooper ready to jump on the Wunna bus of Ultimate Promotion and chug it to the lofty heights of GREATNESS! I want it to dooo well. Dear Fame. Darling Fortune! Come the giddy-giddy to Mama! Woohoo!

Talked to the publisher today…and my mum. Looks like things are looking up. 2012 is going sooooooooooooo well!







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