Chew on this root and smile

Morning everyone! I’m feeling quite lovely today..i have back-ache, but if i’m going to wear ridiculous heels, and have boob jobs, then i believe a little achey McBack is expected. My mind is being littered with memories of boys. I’m doing well with Mr ‘Latin lover,’ as of right now, we’re getting along all nicely. Whenever, we do, it always makes me think of the barrel of other boys, that i didn’t get on ‘nicely, nicely’ with. Every boy, i’ve been with, has taken me on the most random ‘not that merry’ adventure. I’ve deliberately dated boys from all kinds of walks of life, in order to quench my thirst for new fun!! It worked for a while, but got so boring. I had boys on the end of the phone, boys hiding in bushes outside my appartment, boys in fitting rooms, boys upstairs, boys downstairs, boys who sailed the seas, boys who used all my hair products, boys who get into car crashes, boys who are ninja black belts, boys who starred in movies, boys who movied the stars, boys who like boys, boys who don’t, and i would sit at the Coffee bean on 3rd and la Cienega, (my good old west hollywood sanctuary) and score them, in order to decide who i wanted for my ‘happily ever after.’ All these memories came a flooding back in the form of a 3.4 minute flashback. I keep getting these LA flashbacks. I can’t believe how much i’ve done, or how much has done me!! (evil snigger) Shit, my back still hurts! I think God is punishing me. I get a flashback, them a shot of backache.

I stayed up to watch my friends show last night, yet accidently ended up watching ‘Legends of the Fall’….it TV time clashed. I didnt even see the openning titles of my friends show (haha), the lull of Brad Pitt being all ‘bad boy, red indian rebel like, but in a cowboy hat,’ was obviously too much of a temptation. I always give in to EVIL. It’s good for you! However, I did call my matey and explain (i mean i’m not rude…hahaha.) Luckily, even they missed their own show to watch ‘Legends of the Fall.’ 10 points! Life is good!! Angelina Jolie is sooo lucky to have Brad Pitt, to order around.

Right now, i’m about to go lunching with my darling english friends. They are hovering around me, telling me to ‘hurry the jollies UP…goddamit.’ I’m quite upbeat, and happy go lucky all the time. My friends are worried and believe that their must be something wrong with me, as surely someone so ‘Laughy McJokey’….erm… must be depressed??? OOookay! Female logic is fun!! One ‘pally pal pal’, (i’ll refer to her as ‘Skankasaurus,’) had read online that if you chew roots called ‘John’ you end up not being miserable, or something? She brought roots with her. Firstly any girl, who spends her pences on ROOTS and not DIAMONDS, needs medical attention, or just a little HUG!! She’s chewing on them….(hahaha) I’m always used as a scape-goat for other peoples insecurites. It’s like, ‘Oh i feel depressed. Hey i know, i’ll just say Chrissie is, so i can buy roots for her, and chew on them myself, whilst she points and laughs at me.’ It’s hilarious, as each roots goes down, she’s getting more and more depressed!!

Note to self: Boys feel up girls with boobies and smiles. They kick chicks with frowns and ‘St. John’s root’ breath.

3 thoughts on “Chew on this root and smile”

  1. how are u chrissie i hope uare cushtie babe im pleased uare feeling happy babe did u have a good weekend/ i fel cream crackerd i have just come back from vegas it is the bollox out there take care chrissie tada scratch

  2. it was the guvna i love it there i went ot ac slaters and a playboy birds pol party. and it was lovely and hot over there but sceptics dont realy dance chrissie there was me on me own just having it and the sceptics looking at me thinking look at this english nutter


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