Champagne, Chicken and Fishnets…


Completely and utterly adoring being a ‘Lady of Leisure.’ When i opened my little floozy eyes and found myself cuddled up in my cream satin sheets, with ‘Handsome Keiran’ to my right, with the light beaming through and my Blackberry clock, that i wedge under my pillow reading 8.31am..i deep breathed, looked at my life and realized how great I actually have it. I’ve never felt soo in love and i’ve certainly never felt so stable, so together and sooo ready to take on this glitzy little world with a wink. I never thought i’d ever find a man that i’d be able to fo ‘forever’ with. Yet over the last 3 days, i’ve looked at Keiran in a completely different light. I mean, i’ve loved him madly. But now, i really am utterly oozed in ‘love juice’ for him. We think about each other all the time. We tend to our little family. We strive to do well. But most of all we love each other in the most gentle fairytale manner, that could only end in a magical happy whirlwind. he told me how much he loved me on the sofa last night, after ‘boys night’ and told me that he had re-fallen in love with me again and couldn’t believe how his life has changed. After ‘now in bed’ cuddles I nudged him and said, ‘What happens if you meet a girl that you think is prettier than me and you want to leave me for her?’ (Helloooo Issues :)) He was half naked, with his back to me, as we lovingly spooned (i’m always the big spoon)…and as the night stars beamed through our little bedroom window, he said, ‘Chrissie, i’ve seen hundreds of girls & not one of them have a PATCH on you. I’m going to marry you.’ I mean, when you’re a Glamour Puss, you only dream that one day you’ll meet a man that you adore, who will actually wholeheartedly think that of you. I’ve met men. We know this. I’ve never met one like him. We are sooo sooo similar and for a girl who was always quite selfish when it came to love or limelight sharing. For once in my entire life…i can honestly say i’m in love. He can share my limelight if he so wishes. I would’ve never let that happen before. *Wiggle-wink.*

Other than that, incase our love story bores you…i’ve decided i adore grannies. Little ones, in beige, with grey curly short do’s, a giggly slow shuffle and a bold mouth on them. I had to trek into Pontefract early this morning, in my pinstripes and tits for a quick ‘accidentally got postponed’ meeting. After getting turned away, i found myself mixed up, in my full vixen glory in between a bundle of the cutest Yorkshire grannies, all pokey and waddling around me, wanting biscuits with their cuppa tea. I’ve never wanted to be a granny, more than i do now! I mean they are adorable…and fuciking feisty for 92 year olds. It was weird because they saw me in a random ‘movie star’ glow. (‘You look like one of them girls in them magazines…’) I looked around and saw that everything around me was beige, grey and woolly. EVERYTHING! However, i weirdly also noticed that all the women were cute grannies and all the men were…disabled? I left to purchase champagne.

If you ever get turned away from anything and you’re bored…always buy champagne. I didn’t really have the need to purchase anything worthwhile, aside of a milk of pint and toilet roll. (I hate having to buy pints of milk because i can never be arsed to carry it arms can’t handle the ‘lift’ motion.) Anyway, supermarket lighting got the better of me and before you know it i was throwing all sorts into my wheely basket. Wine, champagne, prawns, crisps..chicken…Then i couldn’t figure out how to use the ‘self checkout.’ I don’t know why everyone thinks they’re faster. If i’m at one, i can assure you it is an extremely slow process. I’m old school…i like people doing the ‘bleep-bleep-slide’ for me. When you’ve bought booze..and there’s always booze in my basket, you find yourself standing there, toe tapping with a red light flashing above you, as you wait for assistance and approval. I don’t like to be judged at a checkout.  I just like to daudle up, pay and be gone.

It all didn’t end there. The art of shopping simply got the better of me.

Now, as you all know Keiran and I have an amazing sex life. We can’t get enough of each other. Last night we had smutty sex, but the 2 days previous we really did love make, with all of our hearts and because it really meant something to us. We’re a couple that have been through soo much with each other in such a small time. It feels like we’ve been together years..but it’s only been 5 months. It’s AMAZING.

Anyway, i ended up on a ‘find a taxi’ trail and purchasing baby snacks for Rub,y with my 4 bags of shopping..whilst being on the phone to the future hubby, who informed me of him having to play the art of ‘the blag’ this very fine morning. Don’t know how i got so distracted or how my inner sex kitten decided to leap out of my corset..but i found myself, with my plastic bags of groceries buying fishnet stockings and a garter ‘hold’em up’ belt. I love feeling sexy and well it’s the weekend, if you can’t play ‘hookie’ for you hubbster, than you can you play ‘hookie’ for! I’m quite a fluster these days in the old bedroom department. I have a drive for him like no other. Therefore i snatched myself a bit of stocking love, argued with the shop lady about what size i was..then bought roast chicken salad sandwiches for l’ater on’ snacks to put in the fridge from Cooplands. I can’t walk past the Pontefract Cooplands, with buying random sarnies. I don’t know what’s up with me..other than insanity and being unfortunately being sober.

On the book front..i’m still waiting to approve the over and re-read the new edition, followed by having to write an extra chapter. I’ve been offered another book shindig…(cheer here) where i will now have to write a 2nd bit of literature, that i have to hand in by the end of the year! Whoopppeee! Even when things have bene tough in life, i’ve always known something wonderful would happen and i can honestly say right now…it’s all wonderful. It’s only the very beginning…but i truely think that when you find your happy place in life, which for me was love, a foundation (both stability and by MAC 🙂 ) and my own family, you can then power ahead with the art of ‘Dreams come true.’ I’ve done a lot in my life, seen a lot of things, met a lot of people,watched dreams come true, lived them and celebrated. Like Keiran said in The Castle the other evening…this time it’s mine turn. I feel as though i’m finally being given my big break..and after all the porny, telly, Hollywood, London, bullshit..i’ve ended up being a writer/mum/wife/soon to be superstar. 🙂


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