Everything’s just so hectically beautiful x

I wrote this Saturday night…

So I finally got my manic weekend over…& we can…(well…when I say ‘We’ I mean Ruby, Junior & I) can finally kick back, relax and enjoy my Mums birthday!!! I literally have the most amazing mum & I treasure every single second I spend with her. 

The weekend has literally just been mayhem from Friday onwards….I self taped for the two feature films that I kinda need to get and then learnt all my scripts for upcoming films. I think I know them? I definitely know them! I’m really excited. (I’ve booked one of the ‘self tape’ films & I haven’t heard from the other one yet. But I NEED to get them both.) It’s weird because I’m running around like a headless chicken , yet remaining really calm and organised at the same time! AND I haven’t ONCE been distracted. 

I studied for my ‘now completed, passed & sorted’ YAFTA assessment. (Which I’m glad is out the way. I didn’t enjoy it at all. Haha. Who does? I haven’t done an exam type thing in ages. The build up on the day felt ‘assessment’ scary. It actually felt scarier than my actual auditions, even though everyone was lovely? There was definitely a ‘we have an assessment today’ vibe meandering around the room. It was shitty. I don’t even know why, I didn’t like it? I guess being tested is not my favourite thing in the world. I just like to do what I love & love what I do…and kinda without a test. 

But it’s done now. It’s all fun and games. I did it & did it well. I’m happy and I never want to do another assessment again, in my life….EVER. Haha. I’m just gonna be ill next time.

 It’s definitely something you have to ‘get on with,’ if you’ve subjected yourself to such a course. Yet, if anything…I’m just glad it’s ‘ticked off’ my weekend to do list. It was certainly one less thing to worry about! 

The GOOD thing was that I couldn’t put too much stress on it because there’s was a lot going on alongside it…(and even though I love a bit of ‘learning to act,’ I always prioritise work. If I didn’t pass my assessment, I figured I could re-sit. If I didn’t get a feature film, I’d lose work, money and well…I need four.) 

The learning is great and really important, but we’re all doing the Diploma to train to GET work anyway, right? I’m currently being super proactive and trying not to waste time, so I’m embracing my opportunities, whilst they’re here and alive. It might all dry up and then I’ll have to search for pots of gold at the end of rainbows, or go busking for 5 pence pieces.

Right now. I’m enjoying the ‘roll.’ 

There’s a whole ‘big picture.’ I’ve broken the ‘big picture’ down into goals. I know what I need to do, to get the result…So that’s what I’m doing! 

Goals! Priorities! Actions! 

(Zero Distractions)

I’ll admit life’s hectic right now! On Saturday whilst rehearsing my flipping monologue, (the one I was about to get ‘marked’ on,) I was confirming dates for ‘L’appel Du Vide,’ which starts filming in the middle of February…

Anyway, they needed to sort out all the crew and travel etc..etc… So confirming dates was really important. But it was like I was living lots of ‘moments’ in one.

At the same time I was making sure Ruby had organised & prepared everything she needed for the day…as she was being ‘delivered’ to me, just after 4pm, after my assessment, for her own audition. 

(Ruby’s on a roll, right now too! It’s crazy?We’re in a film together this year, where she plays my daughter. Obviously it was just easier for casting that way..plus I have a really great agent. But we both auditioned for ANOTHER film, both booked the roles…and for the first time she’ll film independently, as she won’t be playing my daughter. She’s got a whole other, OWN role… bless her. And it’s her first paid acting gig. Lol. So she’s really excited.)

But yeah…I had to confirm dates for that also….whilst learning the lines, for the scene,that we had to do for our assessment. 🙂 

(The first time I actually got my lines RIGHT for the assessment scene, was just before10am, after three FAILED attempts of line running… with Geordie Ben. My assessment was at 3.30pm. It was weird because the day before, I’d learnt two other entire monologues..easy peasy and filmed them for tape. But in a week…I couldn’t remember the simplest lines to my ‘Waterloo Road,’ assessment scene??????)

What else? 

The audition for the film ‘Perfect.’ I went in to audition on Thursday, in my yellow heels…for the role of ‘Paula.’ (She’s a ‘popular Day Time Talk Show host & has the biggest talk show in the nation.’ I was really excited. But I METHOD acted it all the way from my home, to the audition room. Haha. Like I was literally walking through the train station telling people, that my name was ‘Paula’ and that I was grabbing lunch, before filming my talk show. I even chose to EAT what ‘Paula’ would eat. Haha.) 

Anyway I had to improv a scene, read a scene and then answer ‘hot seat’ questions as ‘Paula’…

‘Hot seating’ is always scary…It’s only good if you truly understand your character and the story, right? Anyway…I liked it! I liked the team. I liked the vibe!!! I really wanted it!

They called me Friday night to welcome me to the production. (Yaaaaay!!!) I was so utterly grateful. 

So, yeah…that’s another lil’ tinker i’lI get to  our my heart into & I couldn’t be happier. I guess, because I really wanted to be part of their film & work with them. I mean their reputation, standard of filming, practice and professionalism is completely amazing. I feel very lucky! 

Plus a ‘good news’ phone call is always a ‘BUZZ.’ I happy danced!!! I got that sudden rush of ‘eeeek!!!’ That blush of body ‘ooh laa,’ that surges through your soul..That’s how you know you love something, that it means something to you and that you’re doing it for all the right reasons.

On the other side of the Wunna Land was Baby Junior. My little boy! 

Junior had his own ‘thing’ to brave face and conquer with my Mum, ‘Grandma’ on Saturday …As a family we’re going through such a big thing right now…and we can’t wait for it to be over. But without going into it…I couldn’t be prouder of Junior. He’s just grown so much and stood tall through everything he’s been subjected to. 

He’s fighting for his rights and I’m standing by him 100% of the way! (Plus, on a lighter note….he got the ‘Special Mention’ certificate AGAIN this week at school. So his little heart is filled with joy! I know everyone’s hearing a lot about Ruby right now, but Junior ALSO during half term is headed to London to audition for a little something…with his sister.) 

Straight after my assessment, (it was hilarious because I had been facing a wall, crying in a corner…and Katie, who had her assessment after me, was hand flicking on a sofa…) I had to grab my bag and DASH off back to the station to retrieve Ruby. 

It was literally…’Thank you so much…See ya!’ Then dash….dash…..dash! 

Ruby (little ‘Ruby Wattis Wunna’) had her audition for the remake of ‘Matilda.’ The big old feature film. Her audition was at 6.15pm. So my mum brought both Ru & Ju over to meet me…and after a tiny bit of chill time…to gather in and focus…we Uber’d over. 

We were early so we stopped off at Aagrah, on St.Peter’s Square, by the BBC building for mocktails…because she decided to get terrified. Haha. 

She’d been quite confident & extremely excited, until that point. We’d practiced. We’d gone through it all. She knew she had been asked to audition, yet it all happened so quickly….She got scouted & submitted Thursday, and an email came Friday lunch time, asking if Ruby could meet Casting.. the NEXT DAY (Saturday) because they were in Leeds. 

So technically Ruby only found out at 3.30pm Friday, at school pick up. She only had that evening to prepare a monologue and a song. Lol… But she smashed it! Excerpt learnt. Song learnt! 

It was like she blinked and she went from school, to now being surrounded by an ‘all singing and all dancing’ crowd of dresses and bows, with dreams, ambition and mums…at a film audition!!! Lol. 

Ruby showed up in a jumper…jeans…and with me. We kept it simple. 🙂

Ru: ‘They’re all so sassy mum and better than me? Why are they all reading their monologues so strangely?’

Me: ‘They’re Theatre. You know where everything’s all BIG smiles and jazz hands. Look. Enjoy it! You don’t need a frilly dress and a dance routine. It’s a feature film. When it’s your turn…stand…wait…and when you’re READY…read. Keep it real, simple and emotional. Tell your story..Don’t feel intimidated!’

..And just like that, her group was lovingly summoned into an elevator..

Casting: ‘Ah! There you are Ruby!’

… and as the elevator door closed, that was it! She was off to audition….

Catch Up- Part 2

Can your feet shrink? Mine have shrunk. They’re weird?  I hate my feet anyway because…well mine are achey & wonky. But…I used to be a 4. A size 4 is now too big. So I’m in a Size 3. I’ll agree that it’s a little bit more comfortable. Yet they could do with being HALF a size bigger???

I guess life just wants me to feel mildly uncomfortable, whilst things are going well. Y’know, just to give me ‘an edge.’ I’ll shimmie with that. You can’t always do life in bunny slippers.

I’m currently writing this on the train back from my audition for a film named ‘Perfect.’ I really want to be part of the film, because the script is really great. So I hope it went well. Who knows? It felt right. Y’know, the energy was ‘alive.’ The guy sat next to me smells nice. He’s in a long black coat and he’s reading a book. Don’t know what the book is? But the chapter he’s on is called ‘Frank.’ 

Anyway…this is your ‘Part 2’ catch up on my life…so enjoy. Haha. 

I have lots going on. Like I said, I auditioned today. (Thursday.)  I have two feature film auditions tomorrow (Friday) and if you know me, you’ll know that I NEED to nail them, for various reasons. Then the following day…Saturday…I have my YAFTA assessment…which is really super important. So there’s lots of work I’ve godda do for that. 

I had fresh wild flowers hand picked for ‘Dotty McCormack’ who recently directed a film that I was a part of. That whole team gifted me with a memory, I’ll treasure forever. So wild flowers to the Director it was! (It was my birthday on the other film ‘Extra,’ which I also LOVED madly…but I’d ordered 50 fresh baked cookies…for the crew etc. I’m not sure Sean’d fancy wild ‘fleurs.’ Haha. 

Anyway, the flowers….when they were delivered, on time & perfectly, by the delightful ‘Bloom & Wild.’ (My favourite flower delivery service.) 

But I was a little worried because…well you know how businesses send you messages & pictures to track and prove ‘safe delivery?’ Well I got this message to my emails…

Are bushes safe? I’m definitely sure nothing safe has happened to me in bushes before. Lol. However, the note they left for her cracked me up..

‘Inhedge…..’

I just enjoyed the moment…and went with. Yet decided to tell her and ruin the surprise…incase she didn’t find my LUXURY flowers, wedged in a bush. Haha.

Anyway….let’s speed it up a little…

I met a magician in a bar. I’ve just booked a film called ‘l’appel du vide.’ I play the female lead. It’s the most beautiful film and when I met Georgia (Director) at Starbucks, opposite ‘Fleur’ in ‘The Light,’ Leeds…I just KNEW I needed to be a part of her world. She’s amazing & her film is like NOTHING I have ever done before! So I’m delighted, to have been cast and to make a new memory. (That’s the film I need a body double for!) 

After the meeting, I was waiting for a train in ‘spoons’ at Leeds train station. Whilst I was chilling, I noticed some guy came and sat next to me. I kinda felt his presence…but didn’t look. I just carried on drinking my pint. 

Anyway…about 15 minutes later he asks me if I have a light? I say ‘no,’ with a smile. Then about 4 minutes later…he says…

‘Will you look after my bag please…’ (and just leaves it under the table)

‘Yeah. Sure….There’s not a bomb in it is there? Knowing my luck..’

‘No…no…I promise. Haha.’ 

I mean I must LOOK trust worthy. Would you leave your bag with someone you didn’t know? Later he said…

‘There’s nothing in there that worth’s much. If you had stole that, you’d have been on tv in about a months time with a full blown magic show.’ 

Hahaha…..

Anyway…He comes back…He waits…then he starts chatting to me…which leads to..

‘I’m a magician…’

…and he delivers the most amazing card tricks. I’m talking ridiculous. He was mesmerisingly talented. Like no joke!!!! He was ‘Dynamo’ insane. I’d hire him for ‘shindigs.’  I didn’t even have to pretend that I thought his tricks were ace…and I liked that. Haha. I do ‘pretending’ for a job. It was my down time. (And all this is in ‘Spoons’ at Leeds train station.)

He asks me about myself…I tell him I’m an actress…and his tricks seem to get even better. (He put in the graft.) Then he managed to change the conversation to our ‘love lives.’ 

Impressive.

Plus, I liked that he tinkered up to my table…sat down..acted all cool as a cucumber (without being creepy) found a way to chat to me…then when he had my attention…went with ‘I’m going to impress her with my talent.’ 

I like that. It’s confident.

Chick friend: ‘Whatever Chrissie. He already knew OF you…He’s local. When he saw you…he went for it. YET, I reckon he pretended he knew nothing about you at all. This happens all the time & you never get it!! Lol.’

Other chick friend: ‘He sounds cute. He did good. Weird that he doesn’t have any social media though? He’s gonna ask you out..’

Me: ‘I know….he has. Just for friendly/casual drinks sometime. We chatted a bit for the rest of the day…But I’ve got so much on until the clock strikes 7pm on Saturday. We haven’t really talked since.’

And just like that…life went back to normal! My mum has a birthday at the weekend! I have new shoes. Ruby’s just been given the opportunity to audition for a the new musical feature film version of ‘Matilda..’ and I think I’ve just signed myself up to go to a ball?

Everything’s just so strange because so much is happening to us in Wunna Land…and we just can’t believe it?? We don’t even know how or why? We’re absorbing it and just remaining grateful…with everything crossed. Lol

Anyway…I’m off. I’ve got a million lines and Monologues to learn…

Catch Up- Part 1

I have writers block. Well…not writers block? I don’t know what it is? I could write. I could write for days! But I think I just have so much going on and so much to tell you about, that I don’t really know where to start? It’s all really wonderful and  I think I’m just getting on with running with it & enjoying it, whilst it’s all STILL wonderful. Y’know…before ‘life’ actually notices and flings some kind of spanner in the works…for kicks. 

(I’m not gonna lie to you, my work life is ROSY. I’m on my way! But obviously I have something awful going on, behind all the ‘magic’…& I want to make sure you know that. So you know that my life has ‘balance.’ Lol. It’s not all glittered garlands & ‘Hey Chrissie, you got the job.’ Yet I’ve chosen not to give energy to the bad parts, because when you give energy to the negative, it kinda ignites them. Y’know, gives them LIFE…It awards them with unnecessary importance. I like to keep things simple and happy. I accidentally made eye contact with ‘the problem’ yesterday…for a moment. It was still a problem…so I ignored it and got on with my day.)

Back to the jollies….

So everything that I have to tell you about, trails all the way back to JUST before Christmas, when I did the film ‘Extra’ in Leeds. (It was the most amazing experience & I HAVE actually written that ‘behind the scenes’ blog. I just haven’t published it yet. I just want to make sure it’s right, before I do. It’s filled with fun and great memories. But the blog WILL come within the next few days. I promise.)

Then obviously Ruby & Junior went out on the streets to give to the homeless for the Shelter charity, on Christmas Eve… I’m so proud of them for initiating kindness, learning life, & giving back to the community. They’re my babies, so obviously I see them as so tiny. But when I heard Ruby doing one of her Radio interviews, I realised how emotionally grown she was.

Ru: ‘Mum. I’m fine. I know how I feel. Just let me talk. Ju Ju, If you’re too scared to say anything, just look at me & I’ll speak for you. But try not to be scared, because people like John need our help.’

Ju: ‘No. I want to talk too. I like John.’

(John is the homeless gentleman, who inspired Ruby & Junior to WANT to make a difference. They met him last year on the streets of Leeds.) 

I listened to Ruby & she just wasn’t this terrified little 4 year old anymore. She was literally a confident, 8 year old… ‘WOMAN.’ Haha.  

My Mum: ‘She was kinda like….you.’ 

She just seemed to have a great understanding of life and an unconditional love for people. They both knew HOW they wanted to help make a difference & they both knew that wanted to go out and do it in person. 

I looked at Junior during the interview. As he told HIS story, (he’s much quieter than Ruby, so I was shocked that he came out of his shell.) But he stood by her side, with absolute pride. He was really confident. He literally backed her up and supported her all the way, as I stood in ‘the wings’ and watched. 

My heart absolutely swelled. We might not have everything, but we have each other, great hearts & a great hope for the future. 

 (I’ve completely written that blog also…I’m just having to wait until I publish it, as so many INCREDIBLE  things have happened & keep happening to them, as a result to their thoughtfulness…that we’re sort of absorbing the ‘wonderfulness,’ before I gracefully gather it up & deliver the most beautiful story. That will hopefully inspire. On Christmas Eve at around 7am…in Leeds & without us even knowing, they became the youngest children in the Britain to…well I’ll tell you about it in the blog.) 

Obviously as the year began, I hit the ground running. I figured whilst everyone was chilling and rightfully enjoying a ‘minced pie & mulled wine’ break…I was gonna hustle in the ‘down time’… with mulled wine….to try and get ahead. Of course! 

So.. tons of emails went out. A bit of a jiggle. A bit of a jaggle.  I was still auditioning. I was chatting to people who were casting, directing & producing films that I thought I’d be right for. Infact, I noticed that lots of people IN the industry were actually still working? So I scrambled a few meetings together, did interviews, smashed a couple auditions and I actually managed to  snag work, in the so called ‘quiet time…’ 

Ba-BOOM.

Then on Monday Jan 6th (Which was everyone’s ‘first day back) by 7 ‘o clock in the morning…I was already set up. I was already on a train to London, to go sign contracts, meet the agents, audition for a feature & ‘book’ a whole other one. 

I had the best time. I celebrated with wine showers, under chandeliers, with both my agent and later with a bunch of people from Leeds, simply because they had travelled up, for the Leeds vs Arsenal game. It was really goood fun! I was happy! Everything felt great! 

What it gave me was the ‘feel good’ factor and I knew that I needed to have this whole ‘feel good’ thing. Whenever I FEEL good, I’m at my most confident. When I’m at my most confident…I ‘book’ more. A lot more. When I start booking….this weird ‘domino effect’ of luck seems to happen at the same time?? That’s how I wanted to start my year. 

I wanted 2020 (and you’ll hear every actor say it… ‘to be MY year.’ Haha.) 

So basically, I have all these short films, two features…and excitement a going. My life’s completely changed. I’m riding the wave…But although grateful, I’m still
trying to pave my way…

I couldn’t type a single thought out. I don’t know why? Then my friend and school mum ‘Miss.Murphy’ fell over near the school playground, during drop off…

…and weirdly…as I was sat in my car, learning lines for an audition…my fave cracked a smile…I burst into laughter….and it inspired me to get back on that blog….and write.

😂😂😂😂

Happy 2020

Happy ‘First Day of..’ 2020.

I hope ALL your greatest wishes & most wonderful dreams come true! I really do! 

I guess you should work hard, be kind & sprinkle all that with fun! If you can’t do that…just wing it! It’s fine! (I’ve been winging life, in eyeliner for ages now.) 

Do what you want. However, stay loyal to what you truly believe is right. We don’t always do that, do we? But really, there’s no point in selling yourself short….again. 😉 

LIVE! Don’t let people mess with ya head. If you let them, they will. If you don’t…they can’t. Simples! 

Make happy choices, always. It’s less stressful. Even when times are really hard, I’ve learnt that if I make choices, that fill my world with passion & true happiness…it’s always much more fulfilling. 

Look after the ones you love. Show them how much you appreciate them. Protect them, when they need your help. Stand up for them, when they just can’t do it themselves!! They’ll always remember that you were there.

Don’t dwell on the small things. When you literally look at the BIG picture…they’re really only tiny. Sometimes they don’t matter as much as you think.

I’d also say…be able to know the difference between ‘small problems’ and ‘big problems.’

 (A lady…2 nights ago…She made no eye contact with me, as she looked through the cheeses, in my local supermarket. The above is what she said to me…kinda just OUT of the ‘blue.’ As I walked away…I looked back… and her eyes smirked. I stopped and she then quietly said… ‘You’re doing really well!’ ) 

LIVE! (Just had to say it again! I mean, I might be quite sensible right now, but GOSH if you even nearly peeked into my ‘Sack of Past,’ it’d jump onto your face & soil it, with a juicy vodka dripped, rainbow splurge of regretful joy!! It means, I’ll always have a story to tell, when I’m 80. You’re gonna need a story & a tank full of memories to tell, because being 80 is apparently really ‘still.’)

Spilt milk has been spilt. Leave it, or wipe it up. Either way…always refill.

Be brave! Always get back up. Just get back up…always.

Stay focused. However, if you need a ‘time out,’ or a moment to yourself…take it. You never have to apologise for a time out. Just take it. 

Try not to worry. I worry a lot…and I guess it’s a habit we all need to try and kick. Have faith in life. I heard that once you do…good things happen. 

Remember that you really CAN achieve your goals & dreams. If people tell you that you CAN’T…don’t listen. You really can. Most things have actually been done before. You just have to do things correctly. 

‘It’s not where you start…it’s where you finish!’ 

Don’t intentionally try to hurt others. Karma is real. It’s an absolute proper ‘beeech!’

Make sure you don’t waste your time….I’ve always thought that spending time on things, that don’t really enhance your life, yourself, or how you FEEL, in any positive way…aren’t worth it, at all. 

Try and BE THE BEST VERSION of YOURSELF. 

(It does matter if you fancy a wild year, a work year, a calm year, a busy year, a year away….OR if you fancy mixing it up a little. It doesn’t matter how old or young you are…as long as you’re really happy…you’re actually doing alright.)

Always look your best. Make people smile.

That’s it! The rest you’ve godda leave to ‘life magic.’ Lol. 

Happy sailing through 2020! I’m on the same boat, so I’m right here with ya! 

If I’m being honest, there isn’t any rules, is there? They kinda just appear, as we learn….So try and sail steady! ‘Rough seas’ are shocking. 

Anyway! My sails set….i’m off!

There are BILLIONS of people doing life…this is just MY version of it. 

Enjoy yours. 

All my love, 

Chrissie x

(Ps/ My eyes woke up at 3.28am…That’s why I wrote this..on my phone…whilst laid in bed. It’s 4.25am now. I should probably get some sleep.) 

The Break Is ALMOST Over…

Heeeelllloooo Everyone!! Right! I’ve simply been enjoying Christmas, the good old ‘last leg’ of 2019 and life back in Wunna land. ( I haven’t disappeared…You’re not that lucky! 😉 Yet I HAVE been reading all your messages, DM’s…all sorts..and well, I thank you so much for all the love!! I really truly appreciate it! I always want to remind you that nothing goes unnoticed…even if I haven’t given time to reply. All sorts could’ve happened??? Wine…babies…work…forgetfulness?) 

Basically over the last couple months, I had a massive and really fantastic ‘slog’ of work…which I bashed out back to back, whilst being filled with determination and excitement. There were free days that I spent spoiling my babies (Ruby & Junior..my world…my light…my everything)

 ….But then I found myself, filling the rest of my free time…working on films. ( I can’t help it. I’m a sucker for loving it and really shit at resting. I can’t rest ever? Can you? I find it really difficult and it’s a really bad habit!) However, I guess at the moment I’m so focused on ‘getting to where I want to be,’ that I’m working really hard, instead of ‘doing nothing.’ The will that I have to hopefully succeed kinda keeps me going…keeps me on the ball & all that. 😉 

2019, is a year that changed me. Bad things happened in the Summer, that tore my happiness apart…It made me strong though…and I’m proud of myself because instead of flopping in a corner, pouring rum down my throat and being all hopeless. I grew 10ft tall, plonked on a sassy suit of armour (or maybe one of those ‘clunky’ ones..) and with a warm, positive flair of ‘gusto..’ I fought! I went for it! (I’m still going through that situation now…and I’m trying my best to ‘soldier’ on through it, until the door finally slams SHUT & it’s all finally over!)

(Again! Thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone who has helped, supported and been there, for the babies & Ithrough it all.) 

I’m stressed about it, but certainly feeling less sorry for myself now and instead coming up with results and solutions…all powered by passion.

Away from all that, on the whole I’m‘gosh, darn it’ all good. So are the babies! They’re exploding with giddiness every 4.3 seconds and that’s just the way I like it! 

Ruby: ‘This really feels like the best time EVER!!! I love yooou soooo much.’ 

They got phones for Christmas…and each night, whilst their laid in their beds, they text each other,

 ‘Goodnight! I love you.’ 

It’s cute! I’m happy they’re so close.

 I (on the other hand) definitely think I’m a stone heavier, due to ‘eating all of Christmas’ and ‘drinking Britain’s entire lands of wine..’Let’s put it this way…if you’ve lost something…I’ve ‘et it!! 

(Every year I set up the worlds most giant Wunna Land snack table…It gets bigger every year…I don’t even know why? I’m even gonna put it out when I’m 80 and alone, for banter. 

Anyway…I eat it ALL, the entire ‘table’…like a Christmas Eating Slobber Monster…THEN I moan that I’m fat, until around the end of January.

 It’s a game I like to play with myself. Until I realise it’s actually real, not at all a game & I really do need to go on an emergency diet. The ‘emergency diet’ then goes on & on & on, until the following Christmas..So as you can see. I’m shit. 🙂 ) 

Yet who cares…Anytime, you find yourself fitting in the ACTUAL time to perv on Marlon Brando in ‘Guys & Dolls, (he’s so sexy in it,) whilst finding your little ones crying with laughter, at the fact that you’ve successfully achieved an outstanding performance of the ‘Macarena,’ ….on a time limit…with jingling bells, on your  ‘Jingle bum…’ ( don’t mess with me and my moves….) you know life is wonderful! 

And it really is! 

‘Guys & Dolls’ (My fave musical.)

‘When you see a guy, reach for stars in the sky, you can bet that he’s doing it for some doll.’ 

Sexy!

The children’s Christmas game ‘Jingle Bum’…Don’t know who invented it? But they definitely drank pina colada’s when they did…and they certainly can’t possibly have children, because surely no parent wants to be stood up ‘twerking’ on Christmas morning, non stop…and with bells strapped to their bum?

I mean cut me some slack! I’m trying to win a BAFTA here, not put be dodgy back out.

😉 

Emotionally & mentally I’m in a really good place. I’m in the best place I’ve ever been. I feel strong…and as some of you may know…I’ve LIVED some kinda life. My head, eyes and heart have felt and witnessed so incredibly much…that I can’t believe ‘all that’ (both good & bad) has happened to me?? I cannot BELIEVE it!?! 

I’m literally puzzled. I keep having thousands of different ‘flash backs’ of when I was a young ‘20 something’ in LA. I loved my time there…but GOSH I learnt so many things about myself & the world the hard way during those years…Now I’m old, all the good bits and bad bits are all in ‘flash back’ moments. They whizz back into my head…at 2am, when my UK eyes wake by accident. I just cannot believe all that has happened to me…I’ll tell you about it all as time goes by…

So whilst I’ve finally managed to have a tinker of a rest FROM work, to refuel, reflect and recharge, with family….I’ll apologise now and tell you that REST & good times is the reason why there has been a distinct lack of ‘Dear Diary…’

Sometimes you’ve just got to ‘chill it’ for a second and enjoy! I needed peace away from frolics and excitement. I’ve loved living in my pyjamas, not knowing what day it was and mulling around with cups of tea, whilst building ever bloody child’s toy in all the land! 

I don’t believe in marriage anymore, but if I ever needed a husband…it would certainly BE, to build every child’s toy in all of the land and carry all the heavy things, when my arms don’t work. I swear never want to build another police bike, Ghostbusters car or screw-drive batteries into a baby doll’s bum (sober) ever AGAIN!

Annnnyway, before I tell you about all the magical ‘tings’ I managed to be a part of JUST before I ‘signed off’ for Christmas… I filmed a movie called ‘Extra’ and a film just before that in Manchester. ( Infact, there’s so much to tell you. It’s all coming in the next blog…) But until then, here’s a delightful little catch up…

I’ve had a birthday. I’m now 39. I don’t feel as bad as I thought I would, about turning 39. It’s odd. But okay? Haha. I had part of my birthday on set whilst filming the movie ‘Extra’ by Sean Martin and it was kinda ace because even though I was dressed as a prostitute (lol) and sat in a Mercedes..alone… listening to a Beatles Megamix. (It was ‘Obla Di- Obla- Da.’) It was cool. I felt at peace with the world! It was hilarious.

They all sang happy birthday to me…which is the sweetest thing ever! And I even got choccies and wine! (Which is always a BONUS!!)  I had morning birthday surprises from My mum and babies and my soul and I spent my birthday evening celebrating & turning  ‘old’ under the night time stars of Leeds. The city of dreams!!! 

Ruby, Junior and I have pretty much lunched, hotel night’d and visited every Christmassy & non Christmassy place on Earth! The rest of the time we’ve been in a bubble of glittery hibernation & joy! I guess our favourite thing IS to just DO LIFE with one another…I haven’t posted much simply because this has Christmas meant so much to us…because of everything we’re going through, which (like I said) began this Summer. It’s a really important time for my son. (Bless his heart.) 

Yet, the most wonderful thing that we ALL did was on Christmas Eve, when the children had decided that they wanted to spend it walking through the streets of Leeds & Doncaster handing out wrapped Christmas gifts, warms clothes, food, drinks and cards to the homeless. I have so much to tell you about that day also! It was just so beautiful! I’m so incredibly proud of how thoughtful, loving and non judgmental Ru & Ju are growing up to be!

And again thank you to the BBC, BBC Radio, Capital FM, Shelter & all the press that covered their little story to support them and rally behind their cause! It really did help! 

I mean it built so much awareness that the kids were on the street at one point, news had somehow flown THROUGH the streets, that we were out & about with gifts and a flurry of homeless people & families had crowded around and found us for help…It was sort of eye opening and phenomenal all at the same time. It was a pleasure to help so many people in need…IN PERSON!! 

Plus, I’m not gonna lie, the kids loved walking into a shop and seeing themselves in the paper and hearing themselves on the radio…

So for me, it made everyone MORE than happy. It was a ‘win-win’ of love all around! 

It’s the last Monday of the decade folks! So make the most of it! 

All my love!

Chrissie 

Santas, Elves, Filming & Prostitutes

Really excited! Filming today. I’m currently going over my lines on a train, after a delicious ‘hotel night’ with my babies…I’m filming through the night and that’s something I haven’t done in a whole heck of a while. 

Yet, I’m loving it because it’ll feel like a proper ‘graft.’ It’ll be cold. It’ll be late. It’ll be dark. But we’ll all team up and get the job done and dusted to ‘wrap’ at 1am, in the early hours of tomorrow morning. (It doesn’t really matter how early or late I shoot/film…)as long as I do my bit and perform well. I will say, that I haven’t stayed up until 1am for aaaages, because of my busy ‘up early’ work schedule. I’m gonna need all the coffee that the planet can offer! 

I really can’t wait! I’m so so excited!!! I know it’s gonna be fun! 

I’m working with the Northern film school. The film is called ‘Extra,’ ….and infact for the next four days, that’s what I’ll be doing! I’m a massive fan of working with the talents at the film school, because nobody does it better than them! I love them!!!

I’m playing ‘Amy.’ (‘I’m Amy…’ is actually the opening line to the film.) She’s a prostitute. (Yesterday…I was an Elf. 🙂 ) 

Yesterday was so much fun, but oh my gosh! I hate being late to anything. I like to be early…to EVERYTHING!! I wasn’t late. I was 3 minutes early…YET, I thought I was going to be late…and there’s nothing worse than feeling shit! Lol. 

So I hit ‘panic.’ 

It’s morning, I’m shattered, I’m dashing through the streets of Leeds. I’m rushing through a silent, early morning Victoria Gate. I’m hurtling through the streets, passed Louis Vuitton, Sports Direct…Just trying to ya least get on The Headrow on time-ish. I had 10 minutes to get there. I kinda thought I might have had it in the bag. 

So…ofcourse, I start to saunter…Proud as a peacock….I was. I strutted! It was kinda like a cool, John Travolta strut…but I’m a faux fur. (Don’t be getting that twisted with some kind of fucked up ‘Staying Alive,’ finger in the air dance routine…) as obviously that wouldn’t be appropriate, when I was about to put an elf suit on. 

Who honestly wakes up and finds themselves dressed as an elf on a Sunday morning! 

Then…and (just when I knew I was on time & safe) OUT of FUCKING nowhere…I’m not kidding…A MILLION flipping, jolly as fuck SANTA’s POP OUT and start running in front of me, besides me, behind me, around and round me!! It was madness! I couldn’t get through! I couldn’t walk! I couldn’t even SEE! Haha! 

It was just Santa Dash mania & I was trapped in the middle of it ALL!!!!

OFCOURSE!!!! How!?! Why???? 

I mean…what is my life! On Saturday, I film all day in Manchester and get surrounded by NUNS, who want to talk about the excitement of STONE WALLS! 

Sunday morning…I am intensely bombarded by FOURTY- TWO MILLION ‘jolly as fun’ Santa’s…who are making me late for work…and RUNNING around me…madly!!!!

Three of the Santa’s remembered me off ‘First Dates,’ so I THEN had to selfie. In fact so did the cutest girl at Subway later. (Hope you’re well!)

And today…it’s Monday….and I’m ‘Amy’ the prostitute! 

#actorslife 

Nuns, Filming & Wine Vibes

Only I could be sat next to nuns on the train back to Yorkshire from Manchester. Lol. AND I don’t mean sat NEAR BY…I mean sat WITH! 

I didn’t have a seat. There was a table with four seats…on the train. Three nuns were sat around it…merrily…There was one seat spare…

…so there I was.

(I don’t know why I’m saying ‘there I WAS!!’ 

I’m writing this on my phone right now, as they’re chatting! It’s live. It’s real! It’s happening!!! )

HERE I AM…

…sat on a table with nuns, who are talking about the ‘Bethlehem Fund?’ I’m not sure what that is? But it definitely doesn’t sound like a bar? I can’t tell if I’m living ‘Sister Act,’ the traditional nativity or an MTV prank show.

I’m trying not to make eye contact and I don’t know why because they’re actually so sweet? I’m smiling. I am. Yet quietly. Lol. I want to take a picture, but I daren’t! 

I’ve had a hard but enjoyable day of filming…I need 97 train wines & I can’t have an ‘after work- dripped in wine’ train party…because THERE’S NUNS!!! German ones!!!!

Now they’re talking about ‘stone walls…’ (I adore their absolute excitement & almost sweet naivety.) I don’t find stone walls a blast. I think they’re shit. So I enjoy that they can find such joy, in something so simple. 

If I’m being honest, they’re ruining everything. I need to learn my lines for next week’s short film. I play Amy.’ She’s a prostitute. I can’t ‘learn to be a prostitute,’ whilst I’m sat at a table of nuns!!!!

What IS the ‘BETHLEHEM FUND?’ 

Anyway, let’s let life go on…filming was great today!! It was fun! Today it was ‘Chrissie & Stephen.’ He was great. Really talented. He definitely nuzzled in my breasts, mid fake-cry and had a hilarious solution for literally everything! It didn’t matter if there was a shadow on the wall, a dodgy mid-shot, or someone had a ‘bout of gonorrhoea…Stephen knew the answer. Haha. BUT he didn’t know where the dryer or paper towels were in the ‘ever so modern’ toilets??  Lol 

He’s so much fun! Great talent! I hope I work with him again! 

So yeah, Manchester, you’ve been a delight, but I’m glad to be Yorkshire bound. I’m shattered…

In 5 days I turn 39!!! I’m basically a granny…with tits. I’m not sure how well I’m handling turning 39. It was the same with 29! I was fine turning 30, but 29 fucked me over. Lol. A decade later…shit hasn’t changed. 

I’m tinkering along and I’m doing alright. I’m busy! I’m having a blast. I’m living it. I’m loving it. I’m acting. I’m happy! 

I work tomorrow. Then I have Monday off, to get ready to smash out the next film…It starts on Dec 16th & wraps on my birthday. 

Then I can chill for Christmas. (I can’t tell if I need more than ONE day off, to rest up and prepare for my ‘Amy’ role…or if I’ll ‘Ka-pow’ it out, because I’m so excited!! I love working with the Northern Film School!!! Y’know, It’s not even my next thing to film! Like I said, I work tomorrow! It only gives me an evening and a day to get ‘Amy the Prostitute’ sorted!) 

I WANT TRAIN WINE! 

I missed class at YAFTA today because I’m booked out on work. I’m kinda working so much, which I’m grateful for, yet…we need 80% attendance!!! I’m not sure how I’m gonna manage to ‘hit’ an 80%? I’m already booking into April next year due to features…? 

But whatever…I’ll wing it. I’m just finding problems for no reason because I need wine and can’t have wine, due to nuns. Plus, I always think that after a great day of work or an achievement, you NEED to celebrate, to pat yourself on the back. Y’know, so the cycle is complete….and closure has occurred. 

Right! It’s my stop….

Chat later…

All my love,

Chrissie

Film Vibes…

I’ve literally just got back from Manchester after a Monday table read, filming and a total ‘wrap’ yesterday early evening! 

Director Dan: ‘That doesn’t look like a tanned coat??’ 

Me: ‘Sorry. Lol. I went for navy faux fur instead. I look like an episode of Real Housewives!’ 

Charli: ‘It definitely looks like a good break up outfit.’

Dale: ‘Hey, bitch!’ 

Things are hectic…but they’re amazing!! 🙂 I’m working with some fantastic people…meeting the most creatively beautiful souls and y’know I can’t believe how fast my life has actually changed!! I look back through my tinkered little years and it’s almost like some blurry dream land, littered with moments of ‘flash back’ and oozed over with juicy squeezes of emotion.

I’m filming all over right now, so I haven’t had time to blog daily. Plus, I’ve been having the THE BEST time of festivities with my babies, Ruby & Junior…So it’s all be a ‘go-go-go.’ I’m looking forward to chill for Christmas. I can’t wait to kick back and drink Pirate rum.

I’m really grateful for everything that’s happening. (Well the good bits.) I  mean, my life couldn’t be more surreal. Even with all the ‘so much’ drama I have going on within it…(there’s been stress and angst) I’m still okay. My hearts still beating. I’m still smiling. My babies are filled with joy. I’m lucky enough to finally do a job that I love. 

When you only do the things that you love…this strange kinda magic and wholeness occur. It’s like nothing else in the world matters. When to conquer the things that terrify you and step out of your ‘comfort zone’ that’s when you develop and achieve. Add a bit of confidence and self worth and you’re smashing it. You’re a conga line, baby! (That IS meant to be a good thing. Haha. Even though I do personally hate conga lines. They’re really devastating.) 

So over the past couple weeks, every hour, minute, second, day and city… I’ve been a Prank Elf, for a tv show. I’ve been cast as a part of a ‘girl/girl’ couple, for a film, I’ve been really interested in. I’ve been asked if I’d like to be part of another film, which actually involves a fully nude scene, where I’d have to lay in the actual freezing, cold snow…in Germany. I’m filming locally, abroad and with everyone.

I stopped in at YAFTA on Saturday…for comedy class, ‘Dave,’ by tutor informed me that I was an ‘Auguste’ clown. (The ‘dry’ one, in a comedy duo.. as opposed to the loveable, ‘goofy’ one. You’re either the Auguste clown or the Naive clown.) 

Other than that…we decided that my boobs should get credits. I told a shit joke in Hungarian, then in the form of ‘musical theatre.’ I punched Geordie Ben in the knackers for laughs…and I’ve just got cast as ‘Amy’ in a short film, for the Northern Film School…which I can’t wait for! Amy’s a prostitute. It’s exciting! I’ll be filming it on my birthday too. It actually ‘wraps’ on my birthday….in the early hours of the morning…in the outside cold…in the dark….in a car. I might even have a blond prostitute wig on. Haha. That’s how I’ll be turning 39!! 

The last film I wrapped on was phenomenal. It was directed by Dorothy McCormack and Produced by Naomi Midgelow. There’s just something so special about that team and film. They were so on the ball and literally the most organised team. Yet at the same time as oozing creativity, they had this beautiful need for openness and a ‘good time.’ If someone smiled…it passed around the set. If someone laughed, it was contagious. If someone was grumbly…it was dealt with lovingly. If all our bags, clothes, money, food and lunches were locked in a room…We survived it with a ‘pass the popcorn’ game, life stories and budget mini cheddar sharers. 

There was a magic. If you were there you could feel it. It’s a really great film and a really great script! Even when I first went in to audition for them, I felt an excitement…one I hadn’t felt in ages.

They did everything the right way…and their ‘right way,’ was a way that worked for EVERYONE….and I know I keep saying it but I honestly don’t think I’ve worked with a more professional & organised team! They went above and beyond their call of duty. It was a time filled with good work, banter, laughter & respect! 

They are certainly faces to watch out for in the future! I’m so lucky to have been able to work with them and be part of their story!!! I’m truly really grateful. 

Obviously, the filming part of the process is done and dusted. ‘Wrapped.’ However the next bit of jiggery pokery…all the editing etc ..is looong & hard. (Y’know, when you’re an actor, you kinda just get to show up, whop out a bit of acting…leave…and move onto the next project, until that particular film or show airs or screens. THEY have to do ALL the hard work!) 

So, as I get updates and snippets, I’ll tell you all about it…and at THAT time I’ll tell you the stories about my time on the film! I actually felt sad having to leave that set. It was a weird feeling. I’ve left a lot of sets. But I loved that one very much. 

Josh and I….

Shit! I haven’t told you about Josh. He was my male, actor counterpart. I always work with a guy. It’s always ‘Chrissie & Dale,’ or ‘Chrissie & Ben’ or ‘Chrissie & John.’ He was ‘Chrissie & Josh.’ Haha. 

He utterly leads the film and I gently support…by being a bitch. (Which is a role I’m really wonderful at.) He’s so much fun, a great talent, I like him a lot…and it was just hilarious to work with him and get to know him. We had a good rapport, which just makes acting together so much more magical. He’s really thoughtful. He has an evil sense of humour. He’s really kind….

But OH MY GOD,  if I actually have to hear his flippin’ monologue AGAIN, I will absolutely throw myself off a bridge or feed MYSELF to angry lions at lunch time. 

(Arms up.)

‘I am INDIVIDUAL!!!!!!’ 

Hahaha…. (You had to be there.)

Anyway, Josh and I were walking to the train station after we wrapped that evening…and although we were so happy to have been part of it…there was a distinct sadness hovering about the both of us, that it was all kinda over.

Josh: ‘They always teach actors to never hold onto things/projects…after you’ve worked on them.’

(He didn’t look at me when he said it…)

Me: ‘Yeah…’

Josh: ‘What’s next for you?’

Me: ‘I’m filming in Manchester.’

Josh: ‘I’m DEFINITELY walking under that Christmas tree tonight!!! I don’t fucking care if there’s a happy kissing couple or a baby under it!! Haha.’ 

And just like that… life went back to normal. 

Anyway…I think it’s around March time, when the film is ready for screening? So, I’ll promo the bongos out of it then! I can’t wait to see it! 

It was such a pleasure working with you ALL….and Josh….you were ace! 


A Quick Life Catch

It’s a really busy time, but at the same time.. life is pretty amazing.(Cocktails for everyone! Let’s swirl’em around and paint the world Pina!) Yeah, I still have loads of problems and struggles and all sorts of drama! BUT for now, I’ve chilled them on *pause.* It’s Christmas! It’s my birthday month! It’s my favourite time of year! I’m happy! The babies are happy. (They’re so excited for Christmas.)So yeah, I just wanna have some fun now and celebrate everything I’ve achieved this year. Y’know…focus on the positive! All drama that tinkers into Wunna Land, will be either offered a party hat & rum…or be told to fuck off. 🙂 

Ruby: ‘Did we get Mrs.Preston gin for Christmas?’

Me: ‘No baby. They’re Victoria Secret ‘gin and tonic’ bath salts etc……’

Ruby: ‘..so her bath will make her FEEL like she’s sitting in gin…You’d like that Mum!’ 

Me: ‘Well mine’d be actual 

Gin, Boo boo.’

(She beamed, giggled and then we did Mama hugs in unicorn nighties. Ruby’s smashing school right now. In fact smashing life? don’t know what happened? But on Tuesday she seemed to have won everything? The Special Scroll, acknowledged for the poster she did with Junior. She also did her first school concert reading. In her personal life, she’s booked a film!! I’m really really proud of her! I’m really proud of the girl she’s growing up to be. I watch them both everyday and my heart literally swells with love.) 

Junior: ‘I’ve won stuff too.’

Me: ‘Haha. I know you have baby!! I love you madly! I mean, I don’t know anyone braver or kinder than you!’ 

He beamed!!!

I feel so lucky. I feel SO extremely lucky….and I’m working as hard as I possibly can, in order to make my mark and solidify my acting career…Yet at the same time fill my heart with joy, my soul with utter ‘happiness’ and provide a life of blissful, yet magical wonder…for both Ruby & Junior. There’s a plan. There’s a big picture. It’s just a pencil sketch right now…Yet hopefully that drawing comes alive.

But it’s going well… 😉 (I know!!!!) 

*Happy Dance Here*

Oh, gu’on...

Another*Happy Dance Here.*

After what’s felt like a merry jingle of self tape auditions….Honestly, I’d look on my phone…a self tape. I’d look in the mirror…Oh..I’m doing a self tape!!! I’m pouring ‘self tapes’ out the kettle. Self tapes are springing out the toaster and even pinging out the microwave. (I don’t know why I’ve used a kitchen vibe, to describe my situation…because my kitchen literally never ever gets used! Haha. I’d buy coffee and eat out? )

But you get it! I have literally recorded 9 zillion trillion self tapes in the last few weeks. Have you? No? Well you’re not working hard enough. (Lol. No really. you’re not.) If you don’t know what a self Tape is…it’s simply an audition tape for a tv/film role, basically if you can’t make it into the room of a casting. OR as the initial ‘Hey, watch me act.’ Then they either book you from your tape, but if it’s a feature film…or a big role…they’ll call you in, in person…based upon your tape. 

After all that….a happy glitter shower of luck, began to sprinkle upon the grounds of Wunna land! It was a steady golden sprinkle, that slowly swayed, as each tape was sent! 

I had call backs on them all, and a ‘Yeah you got the job’ on 80% of them…(I know!!!! YaaaaaaaaaaaAAAY!!!) And I’m not meaning for that to sound conceited. Although I am quite an egotistical human. Lol. There’s a true happiness to the above because I’ve come a long way. 

Whenever I hear a ‘yes,’ I still jump up and down with a child like, giddy GLEE. It still means so much to me. It kinda makes me reflect back to all those times ‘years ago’…in LA…when it was always an ‘almost nearly,’ or a‘maybe not for this role,’or a straight ‘No, babe.’ I actually thought I was a decent actress back then. I hustled my arse off. But I was shit! Haha 

I learnt very fast (and learnt it the hard way….ofcourse. Why have I run out or rum?) Butthis is what I learnt…Networking is great. But it DOESN’Twork if you’re SHIT at what you do. Haha.

Like relationships… Chat is empty without true talent. You can ‘meet, greet & wine’ all you like. You SAY what you want…. You can know every single person you need to. You’ll be their mate….They’ll hear you…But they’ll still always cast THE BEST ACTRESS for the role. Haha. It’s what you DO that matters! 

Peoples backs, reputations, money and all sorts are on the line. What they produce needs to be THE BEST example of their work! They’ll hire the team who ARE the best at what they do…and righty so?

So what I’m saying is, having the talent and being good at what you DO, IS the most important thing. 

DOING not just SAYING

Plus, it’s easier that way..You’ll hustle, you’ll get the job, you’ll perform superbly…everyone will tell someone and then work will naturally find it’s way TO YOU. That’s kinda what happens…and I mean that in general life. 

Obviously, right now I’m lucky. I’m tapping through an exciting time of ‘yesses’ and I’m just really happy, things are bubbling. I’m really grateful. 

I’d say I’m on a roll. But I AM working hard. I never want to walk into a casting room & give a poor performance. I care about doing well. I care about them. I care about telling their story. I want the job. I love being an actress. You should do the things you love & love the things you do! 

You should also apply the above tools to your love life. Haha. It works. 

I don’t even know where to start because I’m the last couple weeks, so much has happened??? I’ve auditioned a lot. But I’ve  booked a bunch of films..a bit of tv…I’ve snagged a new agent, due to the booking of things…I’ve presented a show, and I’ve even managed to film, a FILM in that time also. I’m filming another now…and I have a comedy Elf gig on Friday, there’s a British gangsta movie, a ninja movie, class at YAFTA on Saturday..and next week a table read for something I’ve just been cast on…and 2 other jobs…that I Film for that week also.  

I’ve also just got my call back email for a feature film that I really want…So if I go in and nail it…that’s my New Year booked…and if I do get it, I’ll be the lead female in the film!!!!!!! (One more read.) 

Eek!!!! 

Agent: ‘She’s confident. She works really well. She has lots of experience. She’s a strong actress. She has a great look on camera…and well…she’s what everyone is looking/casting for right now. Tons of things are coming in.’ 

Aww! I Loves it! 

Last Saturday I got to read for Ian Bevitt. Great Director. Wonderful soul. He’s professional but he’s fun. I’m professional but cheeky. I’m down to earth…and then some. 

I had to read for him under a casting like situation…He said he saved ‘the best to last.’ Haha. 

Me: ‘Well I did notice that you weren’t calling me up??’ 

And to think that I was stood in front of a BAFTA award winning director…boshing out my script…whopping out a bit of acting, having an awesome bit of banter…and him actually really LOVING my work!!! As if!!!

Ian: ‘I’m actually really surprised!’

Me: ‘Haha! Why??? 

Ian: ‘Haha. I worded that wrong…that was GOOOD. Really good. Really natural. Why do you think I was surprised?’

Me: ‘…because I bounded on in like a Kangeroo with acid in her ramen noodles…?’

Ian: ‘Hahahaha ….Honestly that was a really good performance. I always look for both acting ability and people I CAN actually get on with and work it. You’re certainly that!!’ 

Me: ‘I don’t even know why the others even bothered coming? I’m obviously the best one…’

And just like that history, memories…and futures were made…. 😉 

Ian: ‘What did they ask you to do at your last casting?’

Me: ‘It was for a film…They read me a couple times and then asked me to answer a few questions in character, about the character…’ 

Ian: ‘Really! Who was that? Did you get the job?’

Me: ‘Dotty McCormack….and yeah…I got the job.’

I smiled. He smiled…

The next week I was filming the film….

He’s Behind You…

It’s 1.17am. I’m laid in the dark, reading through a script about a prostitute (on my phone) & reading a scene from ‘Kramer vs Kramer, (that I have as ‘sides.’) There’s a tortoise casually walking around the room, with red tinsel loosely draped upon his shell. I’m thirsty. Really thirsty. Oh & Junior’s fast asleep in my bed….dressed as a Christmas elf. 

I’m also looking over an audition i have on Tuesday…it’s a ‘Presenters’ role in Leeds. I’m excited for it! You can sometimes get properly immersed in roles, when you’re an actor. It’s wonderful, yet intense. That’s why it’s kinda great to just ‘snap out of it’ for a second, get to being yourself & ‘Present’ a little something…as YOU. Just so madness doesn’t come & get you. Lol. Everything else comes to get me, so I might as well try and fudge ‘madness.’ Fudge? I meant ‘DODGE!’ Haha.

I’m meant to be headed to Manchester later today, yet now I’ve been called in for a last minute afternoon audition, which I really NEED to get to. So I’ll have to either reschedule Manchester or Self-Tape for them, to see if they’re still interested in me for the role. I’m also excited to be organising wardrobe and travel with the film I just booked. 

Then Saturday morning, I have a Coronation Street ‘Casting Workshop,’ with Ian Bevitt (the Director.) Everything feels so busy..but it’s delightful! 

Obviously there’s a mountain load of stress going on in my personal life. It’s almost like a ‘Domino effect’ now. I’m winning. Yet it’s deeply annoying. I feel like I’m constantly needing a miracle! (Probably why I’m laid awake in bed. Lol.) However, I’m just keeping everything crossed & focusing on the positive. I’m really lucky. I have so much to be grateful for.

That may sound a little ‘rosy tinted,’ or ‘hidey.’ But it’s not. It’s smart. I promise you. 

The more you think or ‘turn over’ the negative…You drag it into your ‘happy’ place and give it life. You give it unnecessary ‘energy.’ Don’t do that! It’s a really bad habit to adopt.

On a lighter note…

I’m also looking forward to Panto season…because i didn’t ‘book’ a Panto! Haha. 

OH MY GOSH!!! Everyone I know, has booked a Panto, but me. Yet, they all seem to HATE Panto…BUT ME!

It’s hilarious.

So I’m gonna take the kids and go watch EVERY SINGLE one of them, wallop out a bit of ‘HE’S BEHIND YOU!!’

I’m actually in creases because my actor friend Danny, (he’s in a Panto this year,)  has to play THREE CHARACTERS in one show!!! Lol. (He’s actually a really great actor, that’s why I find it hilarious.) 

Me: ‘How d’ya play all three at once?’

Danny: ‘I’m Lord Chamberlain in the first half…an Innkeeper for one scene in the second half…and a witch for the rest.’ 

Me: ‘….a witch for the rest?’

(It tickled me. I don’t even know why? I mean, I’ve once played a yellow bird, in a banana tree…I was only 8…But it counts.) 

But SEE!!! If a Panto hired ME, then people wouldn’t have to play 99 roles at once!

Danny: ‘You’re too expensive now you’re a film star…lol.’

(Everyone’s happy for me, yet MUST take the piss…like I’m toooo ‘Hollywood’ now for a cheery Panto. I’m SO CHEERY!!!!!! Ffs! LOOK AT ME! I’m cheery as fuck!!!) 

Me: ‘They can afford INNKEEPER for ONE scene! All is have to do is walk on, shout YOU CAN’T STAY HERE and leave! Haha.’ 

Like I said on my Insta story! I could’ve played ‘Cinderella’ or ‘Snow White.’

Gina: ‘You’re Asian.’

Me: ‘Lol! SO! That’s not BAMEof you!’

I mean, how HARD could it BE to just happily skip around a stage, with a bunch of dwarves? I’ve been in much worse situations. 

Gina: ‘The dwarves’d piss you off and you’d start getting angry. There might even end up only being 3 dwarves, by the time you’ve finished with them! They might even make you PLAY a dwarf…in the end. You’re too feature film and on tvnow! Lol. Let’s face it. You’re not made for springing across a stage in….Barnsley or whatever stage it is…lol…. for the joy of kids…& no decent dosh…’

Me: ‘I don’t care about the dosh, if it’s a good script, Director or production. I’ll send them a Self Tape!’

Gina: ‘People don’t self tape for Panto, you idiot!! Lol. Only tv & film actors do that! And…good script? I’m dead! Lol’

Me: ‘Why is no-one putting me in their Panto???? I’d seriously love it! My kids would love it!’ 

Gina: ‘Why is no-one putting me IN THEIR FILM!?!?!? I’d seriously love it!! *He’s behind you* probably means a whole different thing to you, Wunna! Haha!!!’

I’m freezing! It’s cold. But I’m alright! I have a busy day.

Happy Friday!

I love you!