But she ain’t messing with no….


Hey Lovers! I’ve just got done from the funnest day ever. Hahaha. Like i’m literally weeing myself slightly, at the sheer hilarity of people that this world possesses. Yes, i’m a lucky girl. But really, if you aren’t returning home from a day/night on the ‘tipple’ without a ‘party bruise’ a stain, or anything inflatable then you really didn’t have that great a time at all…you just thought you did.

 I am, now the proud owner of an inflatable parrot, that we aptly named ‘Dickhead’  that i managed to tape onto my shoulder and perform ridiculous ‘shapes and combinations’ with. Even to this moment i swear it actually spoke to me. However, the dear folk of this world believe it’s all in my head. (And what a jolly place for anything to be anyhow, right?)

I’ve had alot of people tell me how i am, or how i should be, just recently and i think i’m gonna file it under ‘Me no likey!’ As i know who i am, i know what i’m doing and well the survey says,’ Ding! Ding! Ding! Yeah baby.’ I’m loving writing my blog. I suggest you all guys start one. It’s a good way to cleanse the soul of sinning and do it with a viscious ‘va voom.’ Someone called me ‘sad’ for doing it the other day. (lol) But i don’t think it’s sad for anyone to attempt to document their life. I might not do it well…but i’m a sexy dandy of a ‘ooh laa’ and therefore loving it. (I’m soooo gonna have wine now and am currently typing this with 3 cocktail umbrellas attached to my ‘do.’)

OMG! I actually almost dyed my hair Playboy Blond today. I’ve done it before, but i almost nearly ‘fucked myself up’ … again. Luckily i got stopped mid- thought by the hair gods and a moment of sobriety. Plus i love the word ‘almost’ because if you almost did something…you actually NEVER did it. Then my Mother began to ramble on about how i needed to ‘be better’ because Hollywood had destroyed her ‘innocent’ little girl. Her method was to recite the words of MJ’s ‘Heal the World’ at me, repeatedly. (Lol.) I just kind of stood there pissing myself…no wonder i’m a tea bag short of a full brew. Remind me to do that to my child…if i ever decide to have one in the looooooong distant future. (Bought a mucky handful of Russell Brand DVD’s today. He is my ‘IDOL.’ I do actually worship him.’) I really want to meet a Sumo Wrestler…like a real life one that i can have as a loyal pet and i’m currently addicted to that Pitbull ‘I know you want me song.’ It fools me into believing i’m sexy. Oh and just because there’s a bunch of  hot girls dancing and having a good time at a club at their own table…it doesn’t mean they are slags boys!! (Notice how it’s always the ‘not too yummy’ boys that say that.)

Anyway, i hope ya’ll had a decent night AND day infact. Remember it’s not where you go, it’s who you go with. Live life, have fun, love most and put that back INTO IT bitch…

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