Bring on the BIRTH & Wake Up Calls

I am officially in the ‘Zombie’ phase of pregnancy. It’s hilariously devastating dolls! The love life is fine. Keiran has been delightfully caring over the last few days. Yesterday, when he came home he just looked at me and told me how beautiful he thought I was. Then later that evening, whilst he sat on the sofa next to me, as ‘Suits’ storied in our background, he just gazed at me in ‘awe’ and when questioned about his gaze, said, ‘I just can’t believe how beautiful you are. I feel lucky.’ #pointspointsmajorpoints

Ruby is still completely delicious, she’s an ever popular baby, however when I need her to have a normal ‘wake up time,’ due to being a hardcore preggo-hontas, she keeps waking up at 5.30am and creating excuses for me to get up with her. UGH! Preggo’s need SLEEP. 🙂 But she scores points for creativity…well it’s more methods of manipulation than anything. Yet, at least she’s using her brains for something, even if it has to be evil. There’s no point in me having a jolly moan and a kitty grumbly about it all, as I am quite aware that when the bump, rolls out my ‘lady part’ and gallops into the world as ‘baby’…it’s going to be doubly ‘fun’…if ‘fun’ was code for ‘SUPER TIRING,’ I’m really really excited for his arrival now. It’s beyond giddiness. However, it would be more convenient if he decided to pop out nowish and simply because the lovely hubby has to work away shortly and well I’d have more help if the ‘bump-a-lumpa’ shimmied out my ‘hoo-haa’ early. Everyone, including the midwives keep telling me to EAT MORE, as i haven’t put on enough weight and have lazy blood levels. Making the baby heavier will apparently sned me into labour quicker, yet i’m eating like a starved orphan at Willy Wonka’s and let me tell you, it’s not giving me energy, it’s making me feel more exhausted. Knowing my luck, the baby will become giant and STILL not pop out early. I’ve been walking, exercising, i’m ethnic so I naturally gobble up spicy food, i’ve done it all…but sex. (I’ve had ‘alone time’ that I can label as ‘sexy-sexy,’ but no actual ‘rumpy-ooh-aah-pumpy.’)

Even though i’m exhaustamundo’s, i’m quite glammy for a preggo, which I adore. For me, it’s important to hold ojto my glamour pussy streak during rpegnancy in order to feel like myself and feminine, as it can drain that channel away from you. This time, i haven’t let it. I’ve stayed fabulous. Plus, i’m not as chubby this time around.  It’s all lashes, lippy and ‘ooh laa’ right now and well yesterday when Keiran was all astounded by my utter beauty…lol *ego-ego*…i had the whole *shambam* a going on. The big eyes, the big lashes, the big lips…the big hair…the shimmie. He loved it. He’s just a man that’s attracted to femininity that is delivered in such a manner. He loves a ‘Hollywood-esque, Glamour puss…and will put up with the shit of a ‘kitten’ provided she looks the part. All me want a hot wife…even if they pretend they don’t. I’m not that bad of a package. My brain works, my body will soon be back to normal, I have swagger, a personality, a wee bit of status and a wiggle divine. 🙂 Yet the lips and the eyes get him every time. (Thank God #towie is on in the background. It really does cheer me up each morning, when i’m waking up. I’m already feeling much better.)

I will tell you that the new Got2b ‘Powderful’ product’ is AMAZING, for those of you who want giantly volumed hair. I’m having a string of wonderful hair days now because of a decent cut and this magic powder. I’m not joking, i’d never sell something to you, if i didn’t think it was worth your time and big hair is worth ANYONE’S time.  Just don’t get it in your eye like I did…my eyelashes stuck together and my eye began stinging…it was the height of all glamour I tells ya. Whenever i blinked my eye felt like a bruise. 🙂 Sexy! But yes…GREAT GREAT PRODUCT, so get that kitten volume, with a little sprinkle of lurve. (Oh and get a good layered cut. I seriously have good hair right now because of the layers.)

Other than all that, nursery are already prepping for the arrival of my bump. Remember that in order to get him into nursery, I had to place him on a waiting list a year before…which is always odd when the baby isn’t born yet and well I obviously couldn’t do a year, simply because you’re pregnant for 9 months. Anyway, when I could…i placed him on the list and due to him having a sister in baby school…he gets to swan in with a swagger and start after 3 months…meaning I will then get back to work and grab snatching in the dollar-dollar.

I’m also looking for a trainer, but I feel odd having a Personal trainer because all the ones that i’ve used before, both here and in the UK have always been weird and tried to date me, mid-squat. Awkward position to ask a honey out on a dinner…but hey it happens. In Hollywood, trainers are only there to date and not even to get fit with. They’re like a hobby when you’re lonely and have lots of cash to burn and the trainers are ALL wannabe actors anyway…so they kinda don’t mind. I’m not good with a trainer because I have a distinct problem with men shouting at me for no reason and telling me what to do, espcially if it’s things like jogging, instead of wine drinking. I’m not Rocky Balboa for crying out loud. I’m cocktailed Chrissie Wunna….so I think maybe a new trainer isn’t the way to go. lol. I’ll just diet and join the gym like everyone else…plus, I have Army Keiran, who will no doubt whip my booty into level ‘hot.’ That’s my best bet…as it doesn’t matter if I smooch him mid-pump-thrust. It’ll give me an incentive to work harder…AS WILL the fact that I want to look ‘sizzle’ during Summer, so everyone has ‘holy shit look at her body’ envy, post bambino. But he’s gone over Summer. (I’m an idiot, but it’s delicious.)

OMG! Last night, i weirdly had the most painful contractions ever. Now I don’t know if I was just extremely tired and therefore half in dream land, but i was reminded of the actual pain i’d have to go through. I was so excited for the arrival of my son last night, that I sort of forgot about the painful bit. It felt exactly the same as the ‘Ruby birth’ pain…the bit before the *push-push*..the ouchy tummy contractions part, where the nurses aren’t giving you enough drugs on demand and telling you ‘you’re going to be okay.’ OKAY!!!! I’M TELLING YOU THAT I’M NOT. NOW GIVE ME DRUGS HONEY, BEFORE I START WHEELING MYSELF DOWN RANDOM CORRIDORS AND STEALING THEM OFF PENSIONERS ON ANY WARD THAT WILL HAVE ME!!

The contractions felt so real that I thought, that’s it…i’m going into labour TONIGHT! But weirdly, Ruby then woke up in the middle of of the night and just like that…the pain disappeared and never returned? I’m confused? Whatever, he’ll come when he’s ready and I actually have a few weeks yet. For the first time, i’m actually grateful that i’ve had, well having my bambino’s close to one another, 2 years apart, because it hasn’t been so long really and Ruby is clever enough to get what’s going on. Then that’ll be it for me for a good while and I can get back to work, love,, fun,money making and entertainment, instead of rocky rollercoastering it all and having a baby mid-success in a further 2 years. It’s a blessing in disguise. (Just re-watching the BBF videos that I have of my ‘best bits.’) 

I think i’ll surrender to a ‘rest day’ today. Everything’s killing and well even though i’m getting really close to my due date, I’m not quite sure how I’m going to get through another 27 days of’s sort of like walking up a terrifyingly vertical, steep hill, in heels… with heavy luggage… and no wine. Oh and with a gusty wind thundering towards you, preventing you from moving forward as fast as you’d want to…with a 2 year old waking you up at 5am every morning and all this whilst wearing a too tight bra. 🙂

I need to rest.

If i had staff…they’d be massaging me right now. Maybe, I should just plonk a shit story lined porn on, so I can nap to it again?







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