Morning Lovers! I’ve just woken up and well regretting my little one night stand with a champagne bottle. (It’s a saucy little bugger.) Luckily, i’m adored by my Mother…yes the woman who squeezed me out of her fadge 28 years ago, so she tended to my ‘wake up’ by presenting me with a silver trayed breakfast in bed, a mimosa, some fresh leafy tea, a bouquet of flowers, a new baby sized laptop to take on my travels (the ideal thing to buy a blogger..hint hint, fans) yet no actual food??? There was no breakfast, with my silver trayed breakfast in bed. It was absolutely brilliant!! Then she said, whilst floundering and littering my perfectly pink boudoir, ‘Go pray to buddha!!‘ I just flicked my hair, then went back to sleep.
I’ve had a lot of highly supportive messaged from ‘all youz’…who i’m going to stop calling ‘fans’ because as the end of the day, you’re peoples just like moi, (i’ve only just noticed) and more importantly the people that keep me employed..therefore in a sick twisted manner..you’re kind like my BOSS. (Noooooo!!) But then again, in the wonderful world of ‘Wunna’ things aren’t always so dandy, are they? So here are some of my favourite messages of just recent (last night to be exact)… They’re really quite loving, so you might need to grab you’re favourite love song, dildo, or bunch of pansies to frolick around in fields with. I however, refer to them as very loving ‘DEATH THREATS:’
‘Chrissie i hate you. I wish you were FUCKING dead. I hate your voice and i hate how you think you’re better than EVERYONE else. You are so ugly. Get over yourself!’ (No….NEVER!! R u asking me out on a date?)
‘U are a disgusting BITCH and not even hot. (ho-hum) U are horrible and i don’t know why people even like you…. (because i’m so smart that i’ve managed to fool them into it. Muahaha!) This world is better off without yu.’ (That’s not how you spell ‘you.’ The word ‘Yu’ is referring to some poor oriental rent boy, and surely he doesn’t deserve to die just yet.)
‘Chrissie you’re a slag. (-gamuffin) DIE! So glad u GOT voted off.’ (Love how the word ‘GOT’ was in block capitals???)
‘You are horrible. You are soo ugly. I can’t believe you’re even a glamour model. You look like an ugly HORSE.’ (But it’s better than looking like the inside of Nora Batty’s Vagina, or a burmese tranny and i’ve been called both.)
Oopsie! People now on March 13th 2009…want me DEAD, (I’ve come a long way…in an evening) and not because i’ve felt up a minor, or drunk drove into someones son, or stolen all the drugs in all of the land, then made little girls whore themselves to strangers for kicks, (Note: i haven’t done any of the above..but i consider them the usual kinda reasons people want other people to be dead , right?) Nope! They want me dead for being ‘ugly, horrible and looking like a horse.’ Well i didn’t predict this much of a circus! It must mean i’m a Star!! (hahah) I’ve finally reached the lofty heights of people wanting me to keel over and DIE! There’s a thin line between love and hate…therefore i (being the ego maniac that i am) simply believe they have tremendous lesbian feelings towards me. (Bagsy being the ‘lipstick.’) I accept all your advances, with smiles, strap ons and bus tokens. Takes a lot more than that to get this bitch down. The eyes of Hollywood have seen circulated Chrissie Wunna blow job pictures. A little ‘Die Bitch’ from an English Council estate…isn’t really gonna dent this bodywork. (Insert an Alex from Big Brothers ‘ …member i sed dat!’)
All from Women too! Each one from England. I stand tall (well not that tall…i’m only 5ft 4) for young, strong, ballsy women. And you know what? It’s shit mongers like you…that make other ‘bags of hoe’ want to fuck us over!! I’m doing the best i can out of a bad fucking job and i’m doing it pretty damn well. Don’t make it any harder. Sit down, have a cuppa tea, pull ya fist out ya cunt and get over YOURself. (She cracks the whip!)
Other than that, two people found my website today by Google searching the words ‘Paki Boobs.’ Hilarious! I need food.