Blackpool, Eyes & Stress Balls.


I have never felt as STRESSED as I feel right now. I don’t even know what’s wrong with me, other than the fact that the Good Lord has blessed me with my rather jolly ‘time of the month.’ I feel all hormonal and angry and well to say that I also had to SLEEP in my contact lenses last night, due to Specsavers forgetting to send me my new batch of sight ON TIME AGAIN, things aren’t running so greatly today. I’m exhausted, after 3 hours sleep. (I sleep in a room with newborn Junior and ‘needs mummy’ Ruby, as Keiran sleeps in a room to himself because he’s ‘ever so tired.’ Lol. It’s cute innit. I get zero sleep, as he snoozes away and ‘recovers.’ Lovely. 🙂 I think Keiran sort of thinks it’s MY job to do it because i’m a girl. Hmm…? (That’s right feminists..GET HIM!) However, to be honest, it’s not something I mind that much and simply because it makes me feel as though I’m parenting well i’m  always THERE for the ‘winkles’ on an evening…and all mums love that. I loved it with my parents. So I might moan, but deep down i know i’m doing everything right. I’m being a mum and loving it. I’m shit at my wifey duties though. They still suck balls.

So, I had had an extremely eventful last week… luncheons with millionaires and anniversary’s with romantic husbands… and all sorts of  merry ‘hoopla.’ Then Saturday came and we were all up early, packing and getting ready to bundle into the car and drive to Blackpool to Keiran’s Uncle’s wedding. (‘Uncle Charlie’ is his name.)

Things aren’t easy with two lovely bits of loin fruit. It was hilarious. I had had zero sleep, due to monsters and nightmares, and pooey wind, with a side of uncomfortable bellies…then had to wake up pack overnight, going away bags for three different humans and do it at the speed of light, get ready and make sure nothing was forgotten about. It’s surprising how much you actually have to pack when you have a 2 yr old and a newborn. LOTS!! I must have rushed around all morning, to the point where I didn’t even find time to shower, do my hair or anything. I just threw in one of my dressed that I intended to wear for the wedding with a pair of shoes and kept my fingers crossed that I’d fit into it. The entire time when I packed the bags and rushed around, whilst entertainment both Ruby and Junior during the packing…Keiran…groomed. He relaxed, picked out his clothes, got showered did his hair…asked for the hairspray, packed HIS OWN bag and came down stairs once he was ready.

We all then rushed and bundled into the car and headed to Blackpool. Rubes was excited because we kept telling her she was going to a party and It felt good to finally have a sit down, after such a busy morning. The journey was comical and hideous all at the same time. It CHUCKED IT DOWN. Rained like the crazies. In fact there was point in the during the trip up where I just looked at the windscreen which was being hurtled with rain droplets and insanely swishing wipers and thought ‘this is England.’ Not only that, but we were short for time, as the ceremony was to begin at 2pm, we had to check into the guest house and we weren’t changed, dressed or anything…with our cars mudflap hanging off and dragging and an actual WHEEL of the car infront of us FALLING OFF the poor vehicle. It was madness. It was insane. But luckily the kids had fallen asleep in the back.

As soon as we got to the guest house, we briefly said ‘hello’ to the rest of his family, scooted the kiddies upstairs, got in our room and holy shit, it was like  HURRICANE was hitting it. We thundered around that room like an angry whirl of madness. There was hairspray, suits, lace dressed, glitter, baby bottles, stilettos, nappies and hair bands flying all over the place. I got Ruby ready, Junior suited and booted and then Keiran returned from the laundry room, after ironing his shirt and my dress. We threw them on, met everyone down stairs and whizzed off to the wedding.

It was a sweet wedding. Loving and simple. His Uncle Charlie is much older and even HE choked up when he had to make his speech. I love old romantics, as they keep my faith in true love alive. Plus, any older man that asks a lady to marry him is sweet. I mean at that age, you don’t think you’ll ever really get married again, which goes to show you that you really can find love, no matter where, no matter when.

Keiran and I had chilled by this point. The madness was over, so we could finally relax and enjoy. We enjoyed it and settled. he nursed Junior, I played with Baby Rubes. All was perfect…then Ruby whispers to me, mid ceremony and says, ‘I don’t want to be sat here in someone’s house. I want to PARTY.’ 🙂

Firstly, the house was a church ceremony room. Secondly…she then shouted it out across our churchy bench to Keiran, because I had told her to ‘shhh.’ What she shouted…? ‘Daddy, I want to PARTY.’ THEY WERE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CEREMONY. But it was cute. It wasn’t actually that loud. All the kiddies had their ‘shouty’ moment. 🙂 Once the ceremony was over she dragged me out of there in order to search for a ‘good time,’ literally leading me astray. Luckily she found a church play room and adopted a toy Dalmatian that she carried around the entire time like she was Miss.Hilton. All these young strapping 4 year old boys kept hitting on her. But she blanked them like a ‘Diva’, grabbed her toy puppy and strutted back to Mummy & Daddy. 🙂 #goodgirl

Rubes was really good throughout the wedding. Yet towards the end the ‘just sitting’ got the better of her and cabin fever got a cracking. She loves a party does my little wee one, so all this speech giving was ‘major loooong’ to her. She wanted dance music and a two step.

The rest of the wedding was enjoyed. We had lunch, toasted the couple, had fun with the kiddies and then we all went back to the guesthouse to drink wine, banter and eat fish and chips. It was that good old ‘family time,’ that we shared. Then whilst Rubes was madly running around the joint, kissing glass french doors with my MAC lipstick on and booty dancing, inbetween spurts of tantrum, whenever she felt tired…Keiran and I got carried away with the fact that Junior was in a suit. YES, WE FOUND A 3 MONTH OLD SUIT, for our 2MONTH OLD baby boy from Monsoon and he looked adorable. He was all waist coated up at  the actual wedding, then once back at the hotel, he chilled with his waist coat off, his tie hanging to one side and his pinstripe shirt untucked. He looked like a tiny business executive. We took advantage of this moment and Kodaked the hell out of it. I instagramed EVERYTHING.


I was having a really great time and slurping down red wine like hangovers didn’t exist. Luckily it was bed time for me. BUT OMG…Keiran made the foolish option to stay up, go out and get wasted.

Blackpool party boy Keiran BURSTS into our hotel room at God Knows what time shouting ‘I’VE WON THE JACKPOT, I’VE WON THE JACKPOT!!’ He was gleefully bouncing around the room, giddy and excited, all drunk and with party hands. His jackpot looked like a few pound coins and change to me. He was acting like Blackpool was Vegas. Like I Tweeted…WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS, STAYS IN VEGAS, BUT WHAT HAPPENS IN BLACKPOOL…SHOULDN”T.’

Keiran hasn’t gone on a party spree in ages…so it knocked him for six and he passed out, naked ontop of the sheets. Do bare in mind we were ALL in that room, so he woke Baby Junior up decided to trump repeatedly, then Ruby got all unsettled and lost her mind a little in her sleep.

Payback was in the morning. He had the worst, couldn’t move hangover ever. He actually felt ill. It was hilarious. He was a cute drunk, filled with whole hearted excitement so i didn’t think too much of it all. He’s allowed fun. But fun these days kicks him in the knackers and tells him to fuck off. So, I got Ruby up for breaky at 8am and as he tried to make me smuggled him up eggs, i refused to, strutted out and shut the door behind me. 🙂 I’m good like that. You WILL pay for your crimes in Wunnaland. 🙂

He made it to breakie, we all got packed up and then the whole Thompson family and I trundled up the promenade for a stroll in the a CRAZY WIND. We wanted to take Ruby to the seaside, but the weather was so hideous we had to let her settle for the amusements and ‘looking out the window’ at stuff. 🙂 The funny thing is…SHE LOVED IT. I’d never seen her so happy.

By this time Keiran could no longer SEE, Junior (who we dressed as a hip hop executive)

…was asleep in a blanket and Ruby had been on every ride going…so it was certainly time for home. Blackpool was OVER.

We got home and we all kipped.

The End.

I had an eventful week.


Life has been great since, apart from getting my period. I’ve turned all moody now and can’t like anything without having a grumble.

I couldn’t stand yesterday so I booked us into a hotel for this evening to relieve stress. I’m SO STRESSED. Keiran’s acting like he doesn’t even want to go, but has to. Typical.

So much has happened today and i’ve scored a couple more interviews, which I really do need, after being sick of waiting around.

I’m having a wine and trying to relax.

As soon as we’ve got the kiddies from nursery, to the hotel we venture and then we RELAX.

Bring it ON! (I HOPE MY CONTACT LENSES COME SOON. I’m blind, sore and bleeding. On the ‘sexy’ scale…i’m ‘super thumbs down.’)


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