Bitchy Boobs and Babies


Frick-a-doo-dee! It’s Friday! I’m bra-less on the sofa in celebration, which is simply code for ‘in boobie pain because i’m a preggo.’ I don’t know what’s wrong with my assets right now. I can’t get them comfy. In a bra..they decide to utterly kill. Yet they don’t just ‘pain’ in silence, they like to bitch and moan at me, until I set them free. I don’t blame them really, as I raised them all wrong. I taught them that being exposed for picture taking, which was pretty much for attention and money was a good thing. Now they don’t understand why they have to be hidden, especially when they’re ‘preggo-growing,’ and especially when Keiran and Ruby love them so much. When set free..they don’t thank me for it. They just sort of *flop* down like they’re lazy and need a Red Bull. They’re like maungy grannies. I mean ‘milk’ preggo boobies and implants, combined must be heavy. I should be running through a jungle like a Zulu Warrior, with spears and a scowl. But it’s the ‘dangle’ on them that hurts when they’re released. The ONLY way they feel chipper and like they’ve had a happy tequila, is when I sit down with my ‘set free’ boobs, cupped in my own hands. Obviously, I can’t do that ALL fricking day. I can’t just walk around holding them up for a bit of painless smile.. Again..this is why I need staff. It’s beyond me how I get through my day without a team of willing beings, who work for peanuts aiding my every mood.

Last night was great. Ruby’s speech is coming along amazingly right now and both Keiran and I cannot BELIEVE the stuff that she can say. I mean we don’t have baby 2 year old conversations with her. We have full on adult convo’s with her and they also do at nursery and she just understands it all and chats away with us. She’s like ‘Stewie’ on Family Guy. She laid on her tummy in her bubble bath yesterday, hair scrunched up on top of her head, bum out of the bubbles a little, smiling, kicking her legs up and chatting away about life…like she was a teenager. I just looked at her and thought, ‘You’re meant to be TWO.’ This is ridiculous. But she’s copied everything she knows from us and from nursery…so it’s insane how quickly she’s developed. Our little son is next and he’s already set to start nursery at 3 months. They’re getting ready for his arrival. Keiran’s in deep thought about everything right now because yesterday when he was up working in the office, sorting out his security company schedules, and I asked him what he wanted for tea. He out of nowhere asked me about Pete and why I left him, what I didn’t like about him and that it was great that we were all so amicable. It showed that we really DO have Ruby as our best interest. Pete’s a good guy (as is Keiran, it’s just that Keiran looks glitzier in his manner, kinda like I do)  and the funny thing is neither boy wants the family to feel separated in any way. Like we don’t want it to be apparent that Ruby goes off to see Pete and ‘the bump’ can’t go, because when we venture on holiday, we take Rubes …and we’ll certainly take the new arrival. Of course we would. Plus, it’s odd if we all go to nursery and one of us picks up Ruby and the other picks up ‘le bump.’ It’s be odd. So a lot is going to get sorted out and it feels great that everyone’s on the same page. I then gave him a head massage and baked him some pasta. He loves the idea of his wifey rubbing his head as he talks about his stresses of the day. It’s funny to me. I enjoy ‘playing’ wifey. It’s hot.

So, today is all about cleaning and clearing. I don’t love to tend to such nonsense, yet i’m in the mood to today and simply because I want to get everything ready for ‘the bump.’ I’m in the mood for de-cluttering. I adore to throw things out and I don’t know why? It just satisfies me completely and well until I get my million dollar mansion and pay people to chuck things out for me. Here I am…armed with the best weave,t he biggest eyelashes and my bin bag. Sexy! Be Me! 🙂

I wonder when my baby boy is a coming? I mean, i’m ready now. I’ve tanned, I’ve got my hair layered. My nails are in good shape. I’m showered, fresh and ready to push. The hospital bag in ready in the kitchen and I can’t honestly get any fatter than I am now, without bursting. I’m bursting at the fleshy seams here!  So where is he? I’ve got a couple more weeks until the big day and I’m too excited now to wait any more. Keiran wants me to wait, so he’s born on the 21st AND because he wants me to wait until the new beds and wardrobes, sheets and everything else arrives. Lol. #priorities If i’m being honest, i feel like there’s NO SIGNS on him coming any time early anymore. He seems too snug in my belly-rumpus. He’s on chill mode. Keiran can’t wait to have him in his arms…and I love that he’s seeing all of us as a complete family…which we are. He see’s Rubes as his own because he’s raised her and well he see’s his son as his world because it’s his first chance at a proper ‘father/son’ relationship. He doesn’t know his dad, so the first time he gets to properly experience it, is with his own son and with him as ‘The Father.’ I love that. It means it’s very special and I sort of believe it was meant to be that way.

I also found out that Keiran had secretly gone through a whole lot of personal stress recently, yet didn’t tell me about it because he didn’t want to stress me out. He told me all about it last night because it all finally got achieved and championed. I told him that I’ve always believed in him and know that he can handle anything…so I’m really proud that he’s managed to turn things around and make his dreams come true. We have big dreams and we’re an ambitious couple. We want the absolute best for our children and our family. We want to work hard, make millions, put our names on the map and then sit back so we can not just celebrate…we do that all the time with love…but to sit back and see what we’ve achieved and with a smile breathe and pat ourselves on the back, with a ‘Yeah baby.’

Okay, I’m off to eat a doughnut and get to throwing things out. You have my sincerest apologies if this blogs a bit boring…but it kinda mirrors the way I feel right now. I’m in that dulls-ville waiting stage, where i’m waiting for the exciting *pop.* I totally bought groceries with porn star lips today. So, lif eis still dandy. I haven’t lost my touch.

Enjoy! 😉 (Oh and Ladies, I learnt today that if you carry LARGE handbags, it makes you look smaller. 🙂 )

Two hearts work better than one…and a good spray tan helps.


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