Being Rubes

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I had the most AMAZING day with Ruby yesterday.

Right, so during the last year, i’ve been working a lot, spending a lot of time being out and about, indulging in time with Junior, as Ruby is growing up to be this highly independent kitten of ‘do her own thing,’ as she tries to explore the world and life at 4. (I’m just the same, so I completely get it.) However, the other evening, when she was being somewhat outspoken and pretty flipping naughty :), she paused and stated, ‘Remember when it was just us and every Tuesday, you’d take me somewhere and do something with me…just us.’

Being a Mum, your heart immediately fills with sorrow, as you feel as though you’ve done your baby wrong, as even though she felt loved, she didn’t feel like a priority. And is anything, she’s my main priority. I mean, this is the girl that saved my entire life.

So, Immediately, I set out to give her a ‘Ruby/Mummy’ day, which i what we used to call it when she was teeny.

I let her choose her destination of choice, her lunch venue of choice…and we went for it.

It was amazing and straight away this little, bossy, diva of independent, turned into my tiny baby girl again…just like that.

We drove to Doncaster, she was treated to anything she wanted, we dined at Cosmo, her lunch venue of choice….

And we enjoyed a ‘bouji’ platter of Sushi, combined with Mac n Cheese, followed by seconds and grapes. Lol.

We shopped, we laughed, we loved and then she got tired. Lol.

But, of recent she’s been really, how do i put it? Gobby, outspoken and naughty…and because she’s not felt adored, or had the appropriate attention that she as a little one needs. Junior is less needy, in that department, because they’ve grown up differently. Ruby’s seen a lot and been through a lot, which means she needs a lot more nurture in her life. And when bringing a guy into the home, or into the equation…I as a Mum, always need to make sure that, that guy adores her, understands and does what he can to to make her feel whole, with enthusiasm and love.,

I worked so much over Christmas and in the Summer, I spent a lot of time out. So, last night, as we were all tucked up, under covers watching ‘Planet of Apes’ lol….whilst she cuddled me…it made me feel bad, like i’d completely done her an injustice. And in that moment, everything changed and my priorities changed,

I mean, I was the girl that was there for them both right from the start, all the way through. I wasn’t the girl that ran off after a spit, because they couldn’t deal with this sudden change to ‘family life,’ I was the chick that loved, laughed, provided and nurtured.

I thought about it a lot last night and dedicated every moment to them. I went to bed with them and truly felt at peace.

Ben stayed up by himself for hours. Lol. I mean, he didn’t even come to bed until 7.30am, this morning, so he must have fallen asleep downstairs. (He must have stuff either whizzing around his head, or his mind must feel somewhat troubled.)

I’m happy. I’m super happy right now…

I’m off to work.

Thank you for following my life.

 

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