Beer and Boobies

I’ve got a banging headache, after a Tropical VK, a double Baileys, a pint that i surprisingly got soooo drunk on and a quiz at the Counting House last night! (I didn’t really drink too much, but the combination of the pint and Snoops ‘Drop it like it’s hot’ song just seemed to slip me into a bit of a tipseroo!) I loved it! I was so bored all day, therefore decided to make my own fun, which is what i suggest you guys do. You know when you just can’t be arse…BE ARSED, don’t let ur life slip away from you. Before you know it you’ll be a used up old hag of a minger. You’ve got to create your own fun in times when watching paint dry is the only thing on the menu. …even if you have to resort to stealing, bullying or being a basic nuisance. I did a quiz, i tragically hip/hop danced around, i saw Hulk (Pat Donaldson) Hogan, watched drunks take part in a Frazzles/Cadbury creme egg eating competition, (it was disgusting) talked about shagging minors, learnt a bit of cockney rhyming slang and got called a ‘Dirty Slag.’ Good night on the whole! Beer under the stars with good friends…who are racist!

When i got home, i felt quite drunky…this is dangerous as i’m usually quite adventurous sober, therefore when drunk i foolishly believe i’m 6 feet tall and the funniest person on the planet. I remember being in my kitchen, wiggling around like a drunk Pussycat Doll to the tunes playing in my head, tripping  into a stool, stuffing a mini chocolate muffin in my face, then pulling down my top, getting out my (looked really big) boobies, taking a picture of them twice (like ya do) and text message sending them to a boy (who had in that time BBM’ed me from Spain telling me how much he wanted me.) Oh my god!! At the time i thought it was funny…(Note: The nudie tit picture wasn’t about being a slag, or dirty. It was more for random comedic value.) This doesn’t ever work when sending them to a boy. Boys see boobies and it’s all about sex…regardless. I woke up this morning, hair a mess, randomly staring at my phone with a face of sheer horror and a ‘oh no i didn’t, did i?’ But yeah i did, so i text the boy this morning, who is now in love with me…and his response quite luckily was ‘Hahahahaa!’ Then i accused him of taking advantage of my sweet yet rather drunken nature. I thought i’d commited to growing up…yet i guess not so much, hah? I’ve forgiven myself for last night, so you should too. It’s filed under ‘Good Times.’ Thank God i stopped at the boobies pix, as really if i wasn’t so tired from all the beer it would’ve gone a lot further! I always take things too far. I put my arse on the line all the time, just to see how far i can push something. Don’t know why i bother really? It’s so ‘rebel without a cause’….yet i’m sure there’s a cause in there somewhere? God i’m a slut! Grow up Wunna!!! I love my boobies! They’re really doing me proud! They’re turning men into soppy messes. Worth every penny! (I currently have some disgusting pig of a human, eating a kebab in my ear! I hate people who make ‘slop’ noises when they eat!)

6 thoughts on “Beer and Boobies”

  1. Loud eaters make me sick. Actually sick. It’s one thing I cannot tolerate it’s rude and disgusting ugh. I’m glad you don’t do it… we can eat our wedding cake quietly and with no SLOP!! xx

  2. what slang did u learn then chrissie me old china? did u learn that u got a lovely bottle? my life is shit how come i never wake up to a drunken sort messaging me pic of there thruponeys. im pleased u had a good night dont grow up grown up is boring what hjarm was done u maede some geezers day he will be showing all his pals your cracking guns gonig look what i got sent last night mush i am the man so u are spreading good chrissie and u are a propa bubble

  3. Perry- Haha! I simply cannot wait until we wed. We shall eat our cake in peace and in thongs.

    Scratch- I learnt that my ‘Harpers and Queens’ are my ‘jeans’ (and i think thats pretty STUPID!!) My Quiz team put ‘beans’ which is a far superior option. Oh and hopefully the boy i messaged WON’T be showing ‘all his pals my cracking guns,’ whilst stating ‘he is the man!’ LOL

  4. why not u should be pleased people would be happy to se em babe? and bottle is bottle of rum bum i hope u have a great tuesday trouble and when are we gonna get maried chrissie i will let u pick the venue everythnig i ain fussed as long as i can pic the dj

  5. Yeah i’m pleased if i do a shoot and everyone sees my knockers, but not pleased in i’m drunk in my kitchen, taking snap shots of my bits and everyone sees them….it’s a whole different story.

    Wazza is now incharge of picking my husbands Scratch…so you’ll have to go ask his permission first.


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