Beauty, Blogging and Rivers

OH MY GOD!!! Thank GOD, i’m here! I’ve MISSED YOU! If there’s anything I enjoy more in life, is having the day off when everyone else is at work. ‘OFF WORK FRIDAY’ rocks! I feel free, happy and ready to tend to the things that I truly adore in life. The stuff that passion is made of. So even though, I say ‘day off,’ it’s more a day where in which i can tend to the things I want to tend to…and with a smile, wink and maybe a bit of a wiggle. (I still goddit.)

Lots has happened. I mean, i did my ice bucket challenge ages ago now and that seemed to be one of my last posts, as i’ve been swirling around in a heavy work schedule, which has not really given me much time for anything else. However, the good thing is that I’m enjoying it and enjoying life and most of all, enjoying making money. Today, i’m starting ‘beauty school’ and i’m sorting out my lash line. I now can’t WAIT, for it to dawn upon you all this Christmas. The glitzy kitten thing, always works better at Christmas. So i’m super glad that I pushed back my baby sized launch to the Winter season…and as you know, it is my FAVOURITE time of year. I’m a Christmas baby, so to me…the tinsel, the lights, the warm, mulled wine, drama of every day life, is DIVINE. It’s glamourous. I mean, my friend Bev, (who I worked with) said she hated Crimbo and when I asked her why, she stated that it was because it was such a ‘superficial’ season. I smiled, as she cut up a sausage sandwich and with utter glee, screeched…’THAT’S MY FAVOURITE PART!!’ πŸ™‚

Before i get going, i just wanted to say that i am most unhappy with the fact that everyone i adore (as in famous people) seems to be DYING. We’ve had some true GREATS, well from the generation that birthed me anyhow, pass away of recent….and i don’t like that the people that put me in my ‘happy place’ are keeling over. They’re dead, dying or about to pass…or they were a popular British tv presenter and a child molester? So, everyone childhood tv presenter we knew, growing up..was a child abuser? Jesus! Not the best casting, right!?!

Today, I SALUT and pass on my cheers to the very talented and the very funny JOAN RIVERS, who’s humour and basic skill of turning the art of ‘saying what everyone was thinking’ into a career and I mean a big career for dosh and claps! I ADORED HER and well…some of my favourite quotes have bled out of that women..with swears and everything. πŸ™‚ We had the same views and the same sense of tickles…and well Β i just enjoy happy, funny folk, who don’t take themselves seriously or anyone else too seriously for that matter. Who aren’t afraid to speak their mind and do it with a twist of ‘funny’ and a wink. Too many people are so uptight about things in life. Joan was exactly what I would’ve ordered to live in my cupboard on dull days.


I always used to say that when i died i wanted to make sure it was some MASSIVE, Hollywood, glitzy type affair and not one where everyone’s happy and celebrating the life that I lived, but one where everyone is devastated that iv’e gone, weeping madly and so sorry that i am ‘no more.’ I want their hearts to be aching…and for folk to be knelt on the floors in floods of tears, screaming my name to The Gods. (In Greek togas, if they’re hot and men.) I always used to think it was stupid when people say, ‘I don’t want anyone to be sad that i’ve died and instead be happy at my funeral.’ What? You don’t want anyone to care, or weep and feel bad that you’ve gone??? At my funeral, you’re all fucking wearing BLACK, (Prad if possible) and you’re all more than crying…and i mean for weeks….that i’ve passed. I want speeches by hundreds of people, rambling on about how fabulous I was, who simply now can’t live without me. Good lighting, a must……maybe being filmed for ITV2 πŸ™‚ for kicks …and i better be dolled up. Hire the best makeup artist.

Ms. Rivers…wanted the same! Yet to a bigger scale. I mean, she wanted Meryl Streep crying in five different accents. LMFAO. And some dude serenading her dead corpse head.

Joan Rivers…who were an idol! ‘SALUT!’ God bless!

‘When i see a jogger smile…that’s when i’ll try it!’ Joan Rivers

Okay, back to my life.

Why am I comforted by wise people? If i meet someone and I reckon their wise, until I find out their really maybe not…i’m cradled by their nature and adore to be around their company? I need Yoda in my life, but fitter. He’s not cute, he’s creepy looking. His wisdom however…makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Anyway, months ago, there was this guy who was sort of making it far too well known that he adored me and coming into my work place on a daily, trying to force me to adore him and plonk him out of f’friend zone.’ It didn’t work because i don’t like being forced to do anything and i just wasn’t interested in him, outside a zone of ‘friends’…He was SOOOOOOOOOOOOO full on, but all wrong for me. A bit too rough around the edges and well…just not educated enough…or morally clean. πŸ™‚ Trying to put it nicely. He had just split uo with his wife and was determined to make me his. Β It’s only reminded me of him because a bunch of my work colleague had seen him in a beauty store the other day, with an older lady and child. Still trying to find love. I mean, I do feel bad for him, as he had a messed up childhood. Yet it always opened my eyes and makes me make sure that i am an EVEN BETTER MOTHER, as each second passes. Far too many parents messed up their own kids! My children…yeah, a bit gobby, out there and let’s say ‘silly..’ to be politically correct, but they’re LOVED and they’ll NEVER Β feel lost or broken because of their childhood memories. I mean, later on in life, Β if they balls things up, they’ll have a home and a mother that they KNOW they can come home to, no matter what, who will nurse their ego’s, hearts and fragile states, back to ‘yeah baby’ again! πŸ™‚ I’m the kinda Mama who talks WITH them and not AT them. I don’t judge them…but i’m honest. So yeah…when they’re big…Wunna’s got this down! And it’s called LIFE EXPERIENCE.

I do hope to have more children one day….just not TOday. πŸ™‚ Ruby is the baby that saved my life. Junior is the baby that makes ME feel loved. Pete and Keiran…are ace and when i look back and see everything that has occurred…the good, the bad..the ugly. I actually think that they’re two of the best guys that i could actually know. (Aside from family, Wazza and LA friends.) Together, we’re a powerhouse. We’ve got this parenting thing sorted.

Right, i’ve got lots of eyelash line stuff to be tending to, whilst i have a new friend moaning because they galavanted to ‘free bar Thursday,’ which created ‘Rank at work Friday.’ Party error much! HAHA. If I do ‘Free Bar Thursday,’ I know what’s coming on Friday. I ain’t gonna moan about it…i’m just gonna act like i’m fine and get on with the next 8 hours the best I can….before weekend drinks. πŸ™‚

I’m currently looking through my inbox and reading through stuffs…and well it’s funny to me that some people can only see me as this… (which i love by the way…if you’ve got it flaunt it, without apology…)


Yet, they can’t seem to balance their sight with this…

Which is just ME. πŸ™‚

I don’t know what people think? But yes, i am FABULOUS, yet i really don’t walk about my home on an evening in sequinned nipple tassles. I will admit that i have done. But the majority of the time…i don’t. πŸ™‚ (That’s actually brought back an ace memory of my London gay friends saying that i never wore a bra and that instead I just wore nipple tassles. PAHAHA.)

BY now, grown men should be able to speak to me without calling me ‘Goddess’ as a forename. I love BEING a Goddess. πŸ™‚ And adore the flattery. I live for it. YET, i’m still just ‘Chrissie’ and it’s hard for me to connect to people, who can’t just be normal, themselves…or just not weird. πŸ™‚

Pleeeease stop being weird. I’ll like you anyway. That is what FRIEND ZONE is for! πŸ™‚ I’m quite chatty and open minded regardless…you don’t have to continuously build up my massive ego with ‘lovelies’ to make me enjoy your banter.

Y’know, i still have some of your giveaway stuff here, right in front of me, that i haven’t sent yet. I’ve decided that i’m going to mail them to you as ‘this year’s Christmas presents. πŸ™‚ Mainly because i find it funny. Santa’s coming.

Okay i better get some work done.


Love you.

Wunna B





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