Be a Kitten..

Woke up this morning thinking it was Saturday, but it’s not at all, is it? At least i can have another Friday night. Lol. I mean, you know you’re in trouble when you no longer have a grasp on what actual day it is. My last week of deliciousness, love, career and fruity drinks that make me think i love you, has sort of smeared into one saucy conga line of merriment. I’m gonna go with, ‘it’s a good thing,’ because I must of been having so much fun, that dates, times and months no longer actually mattered. I do actually live my life by that….even when  sober. To Me, the celebration of who you are and what you stand for is everything…it’s the moments, good and bad that make a LIFE…which makes a history. I’d like to die a legend…but even if i don’t, (and i will) i can look back, wink and with a sexy ‘ooze’ of ooh laa, know that at one point in my life, i inspired. I was a ‘marvel.’

I’ve done everything i’ve ever wanted to…to the point where finding new things to ‘goal’ at is somewhat difficult now. Maybe it’s my time to give back. (And i do mean in the sense of inspiration and not in the form of a naughty sex position) You’re my Kittens, My Pusses, My Wunnas. You can do ANYTHING. Enjoy your life, relax, don’t limit yourself to deadlines, or what others may think of you. Breathe. Laugh. If you want a drink..have one. If you don’t…lift up the ‘pass’ card. If you are good to ‘Life’ and live it…it rewards you, as sort of a ‘Thankyou my darling.’ All you have to do, is go with the natural ‘flow’ of who you are. When you try to be something that you’re not, you fiddle against YOUR natural flow.When you fiddle against it, you struggle. Only you can be you. It’s a gift that no-one in this entire planet has. It always humours me when people bitch me out and say i don’t do anything, because all i claim to do is ‘life.‘ Well how is ‘Life’ nothing? It’s all you have. You can want to be anything, but if you don’t have an existance to begin with…you have nothing. Be confident. Be positive, keep it sexy, playful and have the RIGHT people around you. As soon as you lose yourself..you lose everything..and well i’m here to cheerlead you on, the only way i know how….drunk and with streamers! *Pops open the champers-Passes you some diamonds.* Like being you. Tell the world you’re AMAZING.

Now, even though i’m being quite annoying and inspirational right now, i’ll have you know that i’ve just (almost 4 minutes previous, when i went outside, mid-blog, to smoke a cigarette…awful habit,) been chucked out of a wheel barrow, into a heap of bin bags. Normal people see a wheel barrow and ofcourse ignore it, because tedious hard man labour is exhausting. I see one… and insist on sitting in it, then being pushed around by a sibling, (who claims to live in my shadow) whilst waving at my imaginary subjects, shouting, ‘Yes I am the Queen of Greatness, and do i look fat in this?’ I’m sober. This is why i’m better when drunk. The madness is numbed.

Anyway, right now, (ooh my phones ringing…it’s ‘Loverboy’ at work)..anyway right now, in this moment, i’m really confused because i can’t decided whether i want my hair wavy or straight and i’m wondering why i still don’t own a sumo wrestler ? Aaah the life trials of being a Glamour Puss. Some people are saving the world, but Chrissie Wunna (yes i think that’s me) is having brain ache over her future do of ‘hair did,’ and immediate fix of company. It’s kinda the story of my life…well not the hair thing, but the two sides to every Kitten bit. Like, i’m half cutsie wootsie, but half sultry vixen. I’m bizarrely both. I’m an innocent dolly, with a experienced Va voom of sexy much. I’m a difficult person to figure out, and i know this because gentlemen around this merry world, are constantly trying to ‘figure’ me out…instead of experiencing me. I’m not a science project. I’m a person…and a fabulous one.

Oh and another thing, just to clarify…When i say i’m out partying, and drunk. I don’t mean, trailing around a street, with hot pink lippy smeared down my face, falling into a gutter and vomitting my kebab out to the sound of an 80’s dance track. I’m not 14 anymore.  I mean, i’m in a bar, celebrating with numerous cocktails and shots, in a ‘to die for’ dress, littered with crystals and a darling ‘handsome,‘ who will let me, whip my ‘sequins’ out and stand on a table, whilst ‘shimmi-ing’ like i’m auditioning for the Copacabana. I do on occasion vomit…but never in public, and usually always off the side of my Princess bed. (I did once however, crawl up a rather posh street in Kensington drunk and fall into the Regency Hotel, with room spin, talking on my pink Blackberry, to what happened to be no-one.) Oopsie! Yet, i felt lost at that point, because it was a time when Boyband Jonny was truely messing me around. Now i feel whole and together, due a great influence…i’ve named ‘Loverboy.’ It’s okay to have those moments of ‘lost,’ because luckily, you always seem to find yourself. I’m learning not to be bored with goodness.

Going back to vomiting in gutters. I don’t want you to get me at all wrong! I do have trollop friends, who do do the gutters and i LOVE them, because i’m the height of non-judgemental and nothing is really funnier than being a Lady and falling into a drain, into your actual own sick. That’s not me though. I’m a wide eyed, Dolly, who’ll dance up a storm, after swearing in merriement, in almost a dickhead like fashion, whilst resembling the coolest hoochie on the block. (Yes, to the *Wiggle* and to The Robot.) I’m a Glamour Puss. The idea is to make everything look sexy, without trying too hard. *Wink, pout* Know what you’re doing…ALL the time. When you do…people begin to worship you.

I can’t really think of much else to ponder, due to me needing a cuppa of tea and a purr… It’s FRIDAY FRIDAY people. I really hope ‘Loverboy’ can get off work early, so we can have a rather sexy tipple and tango. I got offered, a ‘cropspanking, tantric, nirvana sustain’ today, by a shirtless hottie that wants to be my nanny. I adore him for it and yes…sign me up! I actually love a bit of a *spank*(Ooh you naughty kitty)…i had it done to me once in a backseat and apparently i did a ‘Carry On camping’ face.