Well, i’ve just got back from Nottingham, where the boys are fucking hotter than i ever thought they would be! How have i NEVER known that?? I’m a Northerner, born and bred and i’ve missed out on Nottingham!! I was shipped off to Hollywood as a late teen, so i only really managed to scramble on top of every LA boy known to mankind! (You’ve heard the stories…i had a slaggy 2004/5 & 6!) I was like ‘Jesus…come to Mama Wunna and have your little breast feed!’ They were young…yes, but they were HOT (ooooh!)!!! Plus they shout my name out like it’s a football chant, so my Ego is taking a bit of a fancy. I’m popular in Nottingham. The rest is a blur, cos i kept drinking wine. I guess when i’m older, a ‘toy boy’ is in my cards. But only for sex, as i really can’t stand dating boys that are younger than Me. Not sure why?? I think it’s just because i don’t want to have to look after them. I hate having to look after boys. I like to be looked after. I can take care of a man. Yet i just seem to want to have sex with little boys, have them feel me up and then kick them in the knackers for fun! (Well not too ‘little’…i’m not Michael ‘Come to Never-Neverland’ Jackson!)
So, Russell Brand was Amazing, as per usual. I expected him to be, so i wasn’t too shocked.Yet i did more studying, and looking around the arena, than i did anything else. I always try to learn from people who i think are GREAT! At the beginning he kinda just sauntered on, all rock n roll and the whole entire crowd, went INSANE, at this geezer, who just so happens to beable to make them laugh!! I sat, i scanned, i watched what he was doing and how he was doing it and realized i want to BE HIM! I don’t want to shag him (like the gaggles of starry-eyed sluts that were there, wanting a go on his ‘fame wand.’) I want to beable to create a madness so powerful that it makes a whore packed arena laugh sooooo hard they cry, spill their wine on me and then have a sudden urgh to remove their underwear and want to shag me!! He’s a fucking GENIUS! I’ve actually learnt a lot from him. And i’ve watched his merry formula work before my merry eyes. He’s actually spurred me on to be my naturally abnormal dirty self, as just recently i’ve been highly censored, with my written thoughts…due to a band of thin skinned morons, who aren’t partial to my ‘funny, funny.’ They keep telling me off for being ME!! ‘ I’m a fucking STAR goddamit. (Yes, it is all going to my head) If there’s ever a time to be myself…it is NOW godammit. My blog use to be sooo gritty in LA, yet since my journey back home to England, (where i come as a bit of a shock…) it’s been a bit tame, as i haven’t wanted to upset people or hurt peoples feelings. Infact i’ve been told not to upset people or hurt their feelings… blah, blah, blah…That’s not who i AM!! (lol) There is no malicious intent! I simply report my life, and my thoughts. So juicy middle fingers all around. I have a new energy a bubbling inside me. It’s sexy, its smutty and its highly inappropriate. ( She winks, she adjusts her boobs and sexily stomps into a new chapter….here we go again! These phases always end badly for me! Don’t know why i bother..)
God, i can’t wait until i’m off my period, so i can start acting like an actual decent human being, instead of a….bleeding cunt! (winks) I feel fat!