Babies, Work & Move Outs.

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Work was easy today. Fun. Easy. And, I actually think it was because we finally hit a ‘payday.’ Working a ‘payday’ is always awesome, because it doesn’t matter whether you’ve made a little bit of dough, or a whole lot of dough. It just feels great to have finally *victory armed* to the finish line. Plus, it’s always much better if you’re working a ‘payday’ because it means you don’t spend it, in one giddy chunk. This is definitely my year of saving…I’m being more sensible than EVER!

It was Danielle’s last day today and she seemed really happy. Lol. We still have her leaving do, to lavish her with ‘gonna miss yooou’s,’ so i’m going to wait until then before I get to her gift giving.

Ben’s moved out. Technically, I asked him to, last night when we were fighting…and today he did. Although, it sounds all dramatic and tense, it’s not really, as i don’t see it as a negative thing. It doesn’t mean that I don’t love him, I was just concerned about Ruby and the way she felt about it all really. The change of the initial ‘move in’ wasn’t really so fast for me, yet to my little 4 year old, it was really difficult because for the past 2 years, it’s just been ‘us’ and her baby brother. It was difficult on her, to all of a sudden have a new being in the home telling her a bedtime.

And, i’m not a one sided person. As it was hard on Ben to suddenly move into a home that’s new, as part of a full of life family and try and fit in. Especially when that family is labelled ‘Wunna land.’ I mean, it’s hard to be the newbie anywhere, be it a family country, job, or anything….He did it well…but it was getting to the point where I believed a temporary ‘change of scenery’ was needed, in order for things to maybe be better again.

I was definitely happy, but i was definitely stressed with life and when i get stressed, I need space, to get back in order. It’s been on my mind constantly since i’ve been home, (The radiators aren’t working, *Waaa,*) as obviously I miss him. I’m used to him being around and well having him be away will help to make me appreciate things a bit more. I haven’t texted him about it. But i know he’s fine. If anything he’ll be much happier, which gives me peace, as when you don’t drive and you don’t have much to focus on, being away in Thorpe Audlin, shut away is really difficult. He spend numerous recent evenings up all night…..stressed, when we had all gone to bed. Being around his family, his usual surroundings and friends will make him feel better. (He hasn’t text me either. But he wouldn’t…would he. Lol)

The babies have been nothing but perfect tonight. Junior’s always fine, but at first Ruby didn’t want to stay because she thought Ben was going to be here. When she realised that he had gone…she leapt up with delight and the first thing she said was ‘it is just me you and Junior again, living here….’ like ti was all she had wanted for ages. Which told me the ‘live in’ change was far too soon for her. She needs it to be far more gradual..and nothing is more important to me than their welfare.

I took some time to talk to her about it, and she explained it like she was 14. In the end she said, ‘I do like him and I do miss him, but just a little bit, when i miss him a lot, he can move back in, but whilst i only miss him a little bit, he can stay at his mum and dads house.’ Lol

She then turned to Junior and said, ‘Do you miss Ben a little bit?’

His reply… ‘I love Ben.’ So, I don’t even know what Junior’s even gonna do!!! Lol. They’re really really close and Junior’s the opposite to Ruby as his lifestyle has been different. He’s enjoyed every single living MOMENT of having Ben at the house, because he’s never ever had a live in ‘daddy’ in his entire life.

But it’s not a sad moment, even though i feel sad. 🙂 It’s positive.

I can’t even believe he hasn’t even text me to say that he cares, misses me or anything…that’s really odd isn’t it? It makes being ‘not as sad’ easy, because if i focus on ‘he might not even care’ my stubbornness kicks in and i don’t feel as bad.

(The radiators aren’t working.)




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