And Breathe………….


Sooo….my stress rash. It’s BACK! And yeah, yeah, everyone says it’s allergies and everything in between, but i know me and my perfectly orange 🙂 skin….it’s stress. I don’t feel stressed. I’m feeling happy. I might feel mentally stressed or physically stressed subconsciously..but on the whole i’m happy. I mean yeah, there are bits missing to my jigsaw right now, yet only because I went out drinking on Sunday to celebrate bank holiday. LOTS of booze friends, weirdly posh ‘now costs almost costs a fiver per drink’ bars in Ponty, Dodge (I love Dodge as he’s as ridiculous as I,)  Rich (love Rich..i’ve known him for literally decades) Ben (I actually kinda fancy Ben a bit I could date Ben,) Dave (Fun, fun, amazing amazing, great dancer and is totally flying all the way to NYC just to get a lap dance,)  Andy (was quiet and polite LOL) Tony (is funny…yet once he’s fucked…he’s FUCKED lol) and EVERYONE in between. Good times! Lots happened. Tom foolery, stupidity, life, boobs, laughter and fucking ‘Biggies.’ (It was packed. It wasn’t as good as I thought it would be. Everyone was out. I got trollied. Then I had two hours sleep and ventured to work for 8.30am and worked the BUSIEST DAY IN HISTORY for a Monday. 🙂 Just my luck. But whatever, i’m a diva. I did it and I did it with a strut. Totally lost my voice. But I DID it, achieved, lasted the whole entire day and with a smile on my face and a flowered UPDO dolls! That’s what being a glamour puss is all about. Being able to play, yet still tend to all of your responsibilities like a champion. BOOYAH.)

Where was I?

Okay, yeah…so my immune system might be a bit down which will help cause a stress rash. Yet, i know that whenever i am fully happy…i never ever get it. I never get it.

So, for example..I’m a chick that’s powered by love…(and wine) and well…whenever i’m in love or more FEEL love, or loved on any level…if it’s real…..i’m not become alive, but i am also fully fully happy.

LAST MONTH…AND I GET MY STRESS RASH EVERY MONTH….I DIDN’T GET MY STRESS RASH. It was sooo odd? It was nowhere to be seen, like I had graduated some kind of shit skin phase. It was the first month in AGES, that my rash had decided to refrain from popping up. (Don’t fret, I don’t have it all the time…it’s kinda like herpes on ya goolies, but not a std.. 🙂 you’ve got to put out to have that) it pops out of nowhere, with a big old rashy wink. Its awful. Then work colleagues call it ‘mould,’ HAHA.

So, anyway, I thought about anything different that occurred in the last few weeks and the only thing different was that i had been talking to the London boy…who I’d managed to build a really great rapport, friendship and life habit with. I instantly realised that that had made me happy. HOWEVER, As soon as I felt that that piece of adoration might, could or had been even a little bit pulled, or tugged at…(and at the weekend it was) I said nothing, felt everything and ‘hello’ there was my rash! Hello stress! Rash everywhere. HILARIOUS TIMES. Which means that my rapport with that guy, is important to me. I don’t like it to be absent and even though i may not voice it…my rash will flare up and middle finger me., with a ‘gotcha.’ Luckily, over the Bank Holiday, I had immense cuddles and lunch with Baby Junior, the Ultimate Mummy’s boy, who gives the best comfort hugs in all the land. (Keiran hates that Junior’s a Mummy’s boy. But ah well…he shouldn’t have left and instead, he should’ve been there to raise him properly. It all actually worked out in my favour. In fact, Mum’s in the same situation, don’t fret. The relationship you establish with your children is vital, as ‘daddy’ does the same, yet only as a novelty. You are what registers in their head as their main and number 1, if not only source of love. Ruby will now only go to Keiran’s if I bribe her and well this morning when i told Junior he was going to Daddies, he cried and said ‘No Mummy.’ That’s not even a dig, as i find it really awful. It’s just…unfortunately…the truth. It makes me smile because no matter what, through it all…i must’ve made their hoe life worth it..a place that they feel happy, safe and loved. 🙂 This isn’t a place they visit, with a being they only partially know. This is their home and their MUMMY is with them here.

Anyway, back to my rash. I need to get rid of it’ as it’s making me feel insecure. I’ve tried to conjure up a million different ways, yet of course being ME, I can’t think of a normal solution to all this…and only ways that a dickhead would dance with.

I can’t just go and see a doctor can I? That’s too sensible. No, instead, i had to cue it myself creatively…I had to plonk on some classic piano music (I chose ‘Forgotten Dreams’ because it’s my fave and had Youtube pics of weird plants and bushes. LOL. TOOL) I got distracted and before you know it, I had Pitbull, Gangsta Music and fricking Common ‘trying to rap about jail’ playing. I’M AN IDIOT!

Then I tried to meditate…for two seconds. I don’t have the patience for it. I get bored. So I’ll do a couple deep breathes later….in my next life. 🙂 (Fuck, what am I saying, my stress rash is on my FACE. Vanity needs me! I take that back. I’ll breathe.)

Then i read that I have to take fresh air walks…eat more….and something else that I can’t remember?

That’s how good my own treatment is, I can’t remember it all?

But whatever, I’m going to do it all. I’m working all week, so it’ll have to be in those inbetween ‘not working’ life gaps. I work al lot and I like it. It gives you a sense of purpose and you don’t really hardly run out of money. Plus, if you do…you know that at the end of the month, it’s back in your account. I don’t know how anyone lives without having a job, unless they were super rich, or millionaires. I’d die.

So, yeah. I still have my rash all over me. Well on my face. My voice is coming back. I’m doing everything i can to chill this evening and baby cuddles from my loin fruit is actually working a treat! (Aaah, just *pinged* my bra off! If you’re a girl, with a big booby front…nothing feels better than that end of the day bra ping.

AND BREATHE……………………………….



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