When you can’t actually move your legs from celebrating the life of a friend by the name of
‘Dale’ who not only has been blessed with a delicious 30 years on the planet, but you have known since your late teen years and with the chosen art of celebration being ‘drinking from noon-til 3am’ in Leeds…then you know you’ve had a GREAT night. I loved it. I had the best time ever and i actually didn’t feel one bit hungover. I drank from 12noon and found myself still merrimenting at 3.am. Not bad for a Glamour Puss in heels. Everyone went. Everyone loved it. Everyone got deliciously drunky and well when you’re night ends in a Pizza shop at 3.15am, with your friend ‘Chris’ trying to beat the balls out of a ‘Punching machine’…and being called a ‘ Willy’ by a blond, after not knowing how to literally FIND the punching ball, let alone, *punch* it. He kept asking me for money for a Fanta, and everytime i’d give him a pound, he’d just get up and put it in the ‘Punching machine.’ Hilarious! Then i looked to my left and saw Wazza having a conversation with a chavy girl, with a mouth like a bin man, who not only had no shoes on, yet also decorated her feet with boils. We thought we were waiting for a Pizza, but really Wazza just wanted to socialise. ‘Pizza, what Pizza, i’m just here for the crack!’
I woke up this morning, in a baby pink jumper dress, and a pair of navy blue trackie bottoms, in Wazza’s bed, and with a medal around my neck. I mean you KNOW you must be Greatness, if you wake up, feeling lovely on a beautifully warm
Sunday morning, hearing the voices of boys downstairs, only to cautiously look down (I don’t know why i cautiously look down, after waking up after every night out…i mean you never know what you will find?) But yeah anyway, i cautiously looked downward and what was there…… only a gold fricking ‘Medal’ on a blue, red and white ribbon, with the words ‘WINNER’ on it. CHAMPION!!!! One of the boys…can’t remember which one? (Ooh i’m actually getting a *flashback* of ‘Bone’ and ‘ Reuben’ …part of the male party posse…tenderly kissing each other and any other boy that would let them. They’re not gay, they’re just n loving. And i’m not kidding…they’re really not gay. I actually got left at Leeds train station with ‘Bone’ after missing a train home..that everyone else seem to make. He bought me lager and we talked about threesomes.) I keep getting distracted…bottom line…i woke up with a flippin’ medal around my neck, saying ‘WINNER’ and because i was told that I was a ‘Winner at life’ due to my boob job. Then i staggered down stairs to have cups of tea with Wazza, Sloth and Chris..before 2 of them left without their Scrumpy ‘something’ cider and one of them watched part of ‘The Labyrinth’ with me before i groomed, got into a taxi and left him to ride the rest of what looked like an awful hangover in peace. I had to leave…i was meeting ‘Loverboy’ before he had to get to work.
Okay, so yeah, we began Dales 30th birthday knees up in Pontefract, at a little pub called the ‘Hope & Anchor’ (because it was near the train station.) We had a drinky at noon, in there…i noticed a backwards clock and the fact that we are all actually ace. Got the train. It was raining. Ended up in Leeds and we ventured off, (well i tottered) to The Elbow Room, (where i ended up getting sexily sauced up on Raspberry mojito, and cosmos, with a side of chicken fajita. Then we dollied off to ‘Aire’…on the river, some other place, and then i think a bar called Santiagos. I actually had an AMAZING time and got to have a bit of good old northern banter with old friends. Lots of fun, lots of drinking, lots of merriement and infact lots of people. More and more people kept turning up…..i mean there were soooo many people in our little group of ‘party party.’ Even ‘Liverpool boy’ (take your memory back in time…remember our date) showed up…which was i thought was pretty nice of him really. Don’t get me wrong, at first it was a bit awkward and i was quite ‘oooh’…however, after a natter and a dash of gin…everything was fine. (Oh how i love gin.) I’m actually glad he showed up now. I notice how awkward moments are never awkward if you just don’t make them awkward. Had fun. Loved ‘Ginned up Sally’ (who is the girly who will end up being married to Dale in a year. Awww….I love weddings. be nice for someone else to do it for once.) Infact, i’d dead proud of Dale and Sally for actually fully commiting to ‘party party.’ They were BRILLIANT! I’ve never really seen them drunk and it was good that they found the ‘ooh laa’ in them. I also enjoy how swiflty Dale can whittle down his wedding invite list within moments and how everyone is ‘Cool as fuck’ when he’s drunky. lol.
We got back to Ponty at around 10pm. Well they were there at 9pm…i missed the train. More people turned up…which i love. The more happy faces the better. We all ended up at The Counting House…which I LOVE!!! I really do and especially because I was blessed with free booze from ‘ Di’ (who runs the lovely bar) and any vodka with a mixer for £1. Best.Day.Ever. I actually met Wunna fans in there. I was trollied, but i do do adore you.. i just couldn’t see.
Long story of merriment short, a selection of us, who can ‘party party’ like championies ended up at The Barley Mow..(haha…not sure why i find it funny.) I’ve been told we just went ‘for a laugh’ and i was told it via the fine art of repetitive melody…kinda like a football chant. The drinks were a bit rubbish there, where red bull is replaced with ‘Boost’…and normal cigarettes are replaced with chinese ones…that we ALL had to smoke for random comedic, ‘ it’s Dale’s birthday comedy value. All i remember is this little smoking room them have..that we filled with our bodies, good times and smoke. Then football morons came and ruined everything by trying to talk about competitive football at 3am to a bunch of merry drunks. (Not many of my guy friends are actually football followers…which i like. However they are hilarious enough to pretend that they are and be part of a comical verbal disagreement for kicks. ‘Chris‘ (@thefuriousd) was hilarious. He actually won a football banter fight at 3am, without knowing a single piece of football info, apart from the fact that the ‘referree was probably a wanker.’ LMAO! Oh and Wazza (@Wazza)decided his favourite football team is West Germany, and kept repeatedly telling the brother of a friend we have called ‘Caz,’ who has the EXACT same face as her. We finally left the Barley Mow, got Pizza and taxied home…even though it was a 5 minute walk. AMAZING DAY! Loved it.
When i finally home today, after hours of celebration, i re-groomed, showered and then got picked up by ‘Loverboy’ at around 3.30pm…for a afternoon trip to a nearby beer garden in the sun. It was lovely. We kissed, i filled him in on my evening, we had fun. He was adorable. I was my usual ‘think i’m a great deal funnier than i really am’ self. We’re getting quite close now and i’m liking it. What i enjoy about this boy is the fact that he lets me be Chrissie Wunna without judgement. He finds my tragic Tom Foolery funny and doesn’t scorn me for them.
Infact, i love all my Yorkshire friends for that. I don’t remember much, but i do remember two different friends ‘ Birch’ and someone else, saying it was funny how i’m so different to how other people, who don’t know me personally may see me. I’m quite a hard girly to try and guess the personality of…if you don’t know me. I think i’m seen as some bitchy, vixen, slag…at times..due to the way i write my blog. But really, it’s just my rubbish sense of humour. I’m a great deal more playful ‘happy,’ than bitchy vixen and if i’m honest…i’ve never really been too much of a slag. 🙂