Abuse For Breakfast

Woke up this morning after dreaming i had DIED last night. (Stop cheering.) OMG! It was awful. It was one of those’ like it was real’ dreams and for some reason i didn’t realize i was DEAD, which is quite unfortunate really. I was still bimbo-ing along all dandy and sexual. Then i stopped, looked and thought ‘Hang on a second? I’m dead!!’ What does dreaming your dead mean??

The first thing i did this morning, before i even got showered was run to my mirrored dressing table and place diamonds in my ears for comfort. (Oooh laa…so much better.) I’ve got a busy-ish day today. I’m hunting for outfits in Doncaster because i have a week of hosting and parties to go to. It’s the only time off i have, so i’m gonna have to get my ‘shop’ on.

I come downstairs this morning, all happy and thinking that i was getting somewhere in life. I login into Facebook and what do i find? A message from a random stranger. It read:

‘I can’t stand you!!  (Oh not this again.) You look so cheap!! (Thankyou.)  I never see an asian acted like your cheesy freak whore!! (If that sentence actually made sense, it would’ve been quite a decent form of verbal abuse. I’m gonna take that as you fancy me! I accept your sexual advances. Call me.)

You got no class chrissie, (Private English boarding school bitches)  is that how you pay your rent? (I’m rich. I don’t need to work or pay rent) buy fucking people for money. (Buying people for money??? I don’t buy people in exchange for dollar. I sleep with them. ) I figured….

You such, an ugly little cunt! (My cunt’s cute. My Daddy told me. You’ve made it cry now.) Disgusting!! (And there you go…the big glittery finale!!)

That little bit of abuse for breakfast was from a random ‘Elia Shpongle’ on Facebook. The fact that i would NEVER send anyone i didnt know, a message like that makes me 87% BETTER than you. It’s probably some little girl or boy, I can’t really tell, as they have a famous person as their picture) who fancies someone they can’t have and therefore want to blame their misfortune on me. I didn’t realise how famous i was. I’m making people i’ve never even heard of mad at me. It’s God punishing me for being Evil about Susan Boyle. Karma’s a bitch. I’ll never learn.

Now to shop!

10 thoughts on “Abuse For Breakfast”

  1. As I said earlier, you’re sooooo lucky!!! I wish I got abuse on Facebook!!

    Last time I got remotely close to being abused (teehee) was when I outed my closeted ex-boyfriend as being a bisexual, telling his gilfriend he’s cheating on her and posting on his facebook to his brother what a man-loving slut he actually is… ~ I thought I was doing my duty as a citizen, apparently people took offense… Yawn.

    I have fallen in love with your #1 fan’s name though…. SHPONGLE!!! I think it’s great!! SH–PON-GLE … actually amazing!!! When I grow up, I want to be a Shpongle too!!!

    Susan Boyle? Susan Boyle? Oooooooooooh…. the man in drag who pretends to sing on that show I generally go out during…. hiiiiiiiiiim!!!! Chrissie, You don’t have to worry about God punishing you for being mean about The Boyle, God is already hating on Boyle himself… you’ve only gotta look at it’s face to work that one out!!

    Right, I’m off up London to do a spot of shagging!!!

    xx Mwahs xx

  2. Adam you little slut!

    I love it.

    Chrissie, I actually highly doubt Susan will win now, due to her acting like a spoilt little bitch every day. If she does, you know the plan.


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