Okay, i’ve only plonked this picture up because you love it.
My favourite it actually this one…
But obviously there’s a hand infront of my face….lol…which is a massive cameraman ERROR. (You can’t win’em all. But whatever, i’m two babies own and i still can rock a hot tub body. 😉 )
Okay..i’m currently in the forest. (You know that anyhow) and well for the ones of you that don’t know or don’t have me as a matey on Facebook…today is actually my wedding anniversary. I’m SINGLE on my actual wedding anniversary. That’s how ace a wife I was. Don’t worry, i’ve had wine, so i’m not a weeping wreck. (I’m a happy drunk. I’m never that sad after a tipple. Backwards, I know, to say that two years ago today I was celebrating life with my brand new husband, i was about to fall pregnant and I thought my life would be perfect forever! I was SO in love, it was crazy.) I’ve already had my FB moan…and done the whole ‘i’m like a budget Geri Halliwell’ thing. Not because I think i’m a Spice Girl..that was me in the 90s. But because of the whole Union Jack thing. I admit, it’a bit less ‘Girl Power’ than Geri herself…yet it’s a whole lot more whorey…so do i win?
But yeah, time flies and it’s so bizarre. I really can’t stand it. I mean, the forest is divine and i’m lucky to have the children and such a great support system in order to keep me balanced. (EVERYONE needs a support system or something to live for and I’m been so so SO sad about the passing of Robin Williams, that my heart has literally ached for everything. It really has pinpointed what life is about to me. What an amazing man, actor and just basic human being, who made such an impact on all of our lives, that we all truly feel that a piece of us, or our childhood has been taken against our will. He was a guy that made everyone smile, laugh and feel happy for a living, yet deep inside he felt alone, sad and well…depressed. My heart goes out to his family. What a tragically heartbreaking loss. So bad, that it sort of made my moaning about my wedding anniversary seem trivial in comparison…which was a GOOD THING.)
RIP Robin. 🙁 🙁 🙁
Today was actually a great day, to say it was swirled in ‘could be bad if i chose it to be.’ Lol. I woke up to the sun beaming through the forest trees, feeling refreshed and adored by my little family. I was glowing. I’m happy here. Always happy. This place is so peaceful and reminds you of the things that matter in life that it truly is such a wonderful time. To me, it’s luxury in it’s SIMPLIEST FORM and the thing that people usually forget to do in life, other than relax, love and enjoy…is to keep it simple. We went on a morning forest walk…where Ruby decided to be the most excited little girl on the planet. Then I made a giant lunch, we hot tubbed and relaxed as I plonked on movies and sipped vino out of love. (The babies are fast asleep right now and today I have never ever seen them happier, in my entire life. When you’re ‘Mama’…that alone fills you with joy and i don’t mean that to sound cheesey. I honestly just MEAN that. It’s amazing. And that’s why I always say that in life, you always always need something or someone to love and live for. It makes life worth it.)
I can’t believe that i was getting married two years ago today. It’s so sad that it all came to an end. 🙁 I mean, it’s been a year of separation and time is the greatest healer, yet it doesn’t stop the days…like today…’the anniversary’…..from being important. It doesn’t stop you from going back in time and rethinking everything through. I’ve done the ‘what if’s’ and the ‘if only’s’ already…and i think a little part of me just wishes that something heroic and magical will happen…that he’ll do something amazing to put back the pieces, celotape the memories back together and take it step by step from there. That’s a normal feeling. But we haven’t contacted each other about our anniversary today… at all. Crazy innit! I feel like I didn’t get married and start a family to become separated and have the family broken down. I wanted togetherness…
the great thing about it all is that I survived the worst break up ever and i did it with dignity, looked after my babies, worked hard and managed to get back on track WITHOUT swirling down thw plug hole…not one bit! I was SUPER STRONG and I championed it and i only championed it because i had the CHILDREN. (The something to live for.) PLUS, i have an amazing family, especially MUM and a stream of wonderful friends. I had all the love support in the world, which got me through a time that could’ve been much much tougher.
I guess, in life…and you’ve all heard this before…when bad things happen to you…it’s not the badness of the things that happen that matter…yet the number of times you can get back up..with a goddamn smile and great hair… that make you ACE. It’s your bounce back ability and if i have anything…i have that. THIS BITCH IS A FIGHTER.
So feel strong…do things that make you happy. Love the people you’re meant o love and keep life simple. Understand life and what it’s about. See the big picture. Don’t waste your time. LOVE. Go to the forest in Union Jack bikini’s an hot tub. 😉 (You all loved it much.) And most of all…be happy in the skin you’re in. Once you are…you can and will conquer the world!
Today….regardless….i’m happy and i’m happy because i managed to focus on the great things i have going on in my life, rather than the bad things that have happened to me. PLUS, today isn’t a bad day at all, because remember….this time two years ago…i was about to fall pregnant!!! 🙂
I’ll cheers to that!