A Little bit of ‘La-dee-daa’

Had an AMAZING lunch with my ever ‘greatness’ gay Samuel, with a surprise guest Robbie, who came along and ate olives with us at the Lock tavern in Camden. Robbie (who i adore and i will tell you why shortly) ordered a beautiful looking sandwich, whilst we bantered. Sammie and I stuck to what we LOVE the complete most and that’s the Greek Mezze platter, with the best ‘we’ll be fat bitches by bedtime’ bowl of chips. I enjoy the platter, (it’s humus, olives, pita bread on sticks) and all kinds of things to dip your fancy in. It comes with bowls of ‘ooh laa.’ I didn’t quite eat much of mine. I kept stuffing it into my face, yet barely dented it. However, I do like play food, it makes it easier to gossip, swear and chat about hotties whilst eating. I ADORE Samuel. He was the funniest gay in all of the land today and completely filled me in on his life….dinner at The Ritz, kissing a hot Drag Queen, Dating a boy who’s in a Johnny Depp movie…there was other stuff too, but i can’t remember it, because the half a pint of Amstel i had at lunch has seemed to have hit me and made me feel dead drunky. This is why you shouldn’ t bother staying in for a week and not drinking because you’ll go to lunch, have a half pint and feel like you would after 22 malibu pineapples, laid on ya back, with ya legs at ten to two! If you’re going to be a Glamour Puss…you must make sure your alcohol tolerance level is high. If not…then you’ll have one merry drink, that will probably be bought for you, you’ll feel tremendously pissed and unfortunately then all kinds of ‘fugly muglies’ will take advantage of your good looks and much ‘easier than usual’ nature. I can drink. Really drink and let me tell you, it has proved to be highly beneficial. I’ll have 5 shots and one whole pitcher and still feel relatively sober. God talking about booze makes me wanna go out. I’m in that tipsy stage where you’re on facebook stalking hot boys you fancy, wondering if they fancy you and thinking you’re a great deal funnier than what you really actually are. (I’ve just bbmed Jonny a picture of a beautifully obese lady in a string bikini, seductively posing, for no real reason, telling him it was his ‘Ghost of Christmas Future’…and unfortunately, it was quite well accepted. lol)

Anyway, lunch was great ( i got distracted.) We bantered about being drunk, men, our love lives, our stint on the telly (the things you wouldn’t know about it.) We mentioned people with depression, moving house and then to perk up the mood a little… ROBBIE (who i will now do lunch with ANYTIME ever) flips out his phone, and produces a short series of HOT HOT yummy hot boys, (out of nowhere,) who seem to be donning the most delicious set of pectorials a pouting pussy cat has ever laid eyes on. It made my olives taste sooo much better. It was like an emergency ‘pick me up.’ Yet saying that, i am kinda jealous that everyone has a boyfriend but me. Then even more jealous that everyone has a fucking HOT one. I’m a girly girl when it comes to *swooning.* If you show me a set of good pecs, i’ll melt and go gaga (as in mushy, not Lady) and have love hearts fluttering out of every given oraphis, whilst trying to make you marry me. I like Robbie for this moment of ‘flutter.’ Sam and I were practically in love…then quickly found out one of the boys full name, so we could add him to Facebook and stalk him(There’s no time wasting.) I don’t know what i would do without ‘Hextall’ in my life. I believe i should collect hot boys and place them in a saucy Wunna Mansion, where they will be beaten if they fail to perform. *calls cupid*

On the whole…GREAT LUNCH! We were tremendously excited the entire way through it. I believe there was dancing on street corners, due to excitement after lunch and the words ‘Cutsie Wootsie’ being repeated, mid ‘baby boy’ bounce. Oh fucking hell…which reminds me! On my way to meet Sammie, ( i meet him in an alley way, usually around 1pm) a flippin’ NUN tried to manipulate me. A NUN! A lady of GOD, tried to manipulate me on Camden high street, into buying a brown bible thing. When i frowned…she told me i was going to hell. I winked at her and said, ‘I’ll chance it.‘ I feel like she wasn’t a real life nun. I’m 84% sure, she was mildly on drugs and needing to make a quick buck or two. But saying that, it is Camden. No-ones a crack head in Camden. *sarcastic face.* 

I’ve actually had a pretty wonderful day and yes, due to unfortunate circumstances beyond our control, Sammie and I were not able to Stalk Jedward this fine evening. I was gutted for a whole 5 minutes…so within seconds he sent me a shirtless picture of a stud muffin to make me feel better. Now i feel great…but oddly a bit drunk? Best day of the week, so far! Hasn’t this week dragged….

Oh and best text message i recieved last night: ‘A yorkshire mans valium, is apparently 10 pints. But i’m a gay…so ofcourse i went with the tablet.’ LOL