You will not believe what i’ve done today! I am OFFICIALLY the Queen of Greatness. I’m running on about 2 hours sleep after a shit night in London, but life has hotted up and things are getting sexy!
Woke up this morning in a bed full of boyband members. One was trying to spoon me, the other was my baby love ‘jonny’ and the other one was Welsh and kind of scattered on my hotel room floor. I was going to tell you all the ‘period, frigid, no sex’ story, however it seems EVERYONE already knows about the wee little ‘hoo-haa.’ For those of you reading this around the world, Boyband Jonny would’nt ‘get jiggy’ with The Wunna (after she pretty much shamelessly begged) simply because she was bleeding from her vagina. He claimed it wasn’t the right time for our big special ‘take my virginity’ show…i called it ‘frigid.’ I’m seriously losing my touch. No-one wants to sleep with me. I’m confused? o be honest i was really pissed off at him when i wasn’t getting my own way, in the form of ‘sex.’ Now (and quite oddly) i’m glad we didn’t. It’s making our delicious ‘ding dong’ of a romance feel a great deal more serious. I can’t believe we haven’t had sex yet? I tried everything in the book, a tantrum, a desperate plee, a blowjob request..a simple demand!! I like that we waited. I feel all virginal. (Where’s my big black prickly dildo?)
Other than getting shunned quite a lot, i have also been to Brighton today to film a little ‘something’ with a black magic witch called andy Cristel. Probably the hottest witch i’ve ever seen. Anyway you will not believe what i got up too. I did a Voo Doo doll, a love spell, a money spell, i had my chakras cleansed, did a Ouija board (that catullay worked and creeped me out) and finally a bit of ‘sex’ magic. (Code for got felt up my a girl.) A normal Thursday in the life of Chrissie Wunna. (Wow, i literally am so exhausted i simply collapsed and fell asleep at my laptop 5 seconds ago, and nodded my head awake. I need sleep!!) I’ll tell you about it all tomorrow my treats…