I’ve been working lots and even though hard…it actually feels amazing, as I’m just a being who feels better when put to use than not. Lol. There’s not really been much time for anything, hence my lack in blog posts. But i’m baby free this evening, so i figured I could wham a bit of a catch up for you…after Bacardi ofcourse and because I blog better after such.
Right. So yesterday, on my day off..and i’ve been working like the clapper all week, month and everything in between…(all is busy, it’s coming up to Christmas…and i’m rushed off my little bad Burmese feet.) But on my day off…i managed to get on a train to London, in the little window I had and after a nursery run…and see my absolute best LA buddy, who i haven’t managed to see in person for almost 9 years! Yes…it was emotional because i love him so much and he’s pretty much a brother to me. We’ve been through so much together and lived Hollywood our way…I mean i cried half the way down to London because I couldn’t even believe that I would get to see him. Plus, i’m weirdly pretty emotional right now, because with lots of work, comes lots of stress and just of recent i’ve felt or feel as though i’ve been giving out to lots of people, all folk who i seemingly put first and before myself and own needs, who don’t neccessarily give back the way in which i may deep down in my heart wish. But that’s normal. I’m a pretty good girl. I’m generous and quite loving to most. But i’m at the same time, i’m not a push over…I do well, i’ve worked hard my entire life..and i’ll always be as positive as I can. I’m supportive, I’m tough…and a hell of a lot more responsible than people enjoy to believe.
But yes, I got on the 9.32am to London Kings cross. Rolled into London at 11.32am and after a a quick bustle around the very best chocolatiers, I hopped into a taxi and got to Ronnie… (Ronnie Woo by the way, who i couldn’t love or be more proud of!! He’s my ‘brother from another,’ a celebrity chef in LA and well he now has his own show ‘Food to get you laid,’ which aired out there this Summer.) I’ve been close to him since he was 19…and now he’s 30…and i’m 34…it was a really big moment. We literally did everything together growing up in LA…I’ve missed me MADLY…and because he’s just one of those really good people.)
Anyway, London traffic was as busy as usual and i actually felt a bit nervous. I don’t know whether i was just being a girl and hormonal, as the evening before I was all quite cryey. But as soon as I got out the cab, ran into the hotel, after passing Tiffany’s and all my favourite stores on Oxford street…i sent him a message saying that I was in the lounge downstairs..and within 10 mins, he was there…right in front of me…like that time had never passed and with tears in his eyes. It was so amazing that it didn’t even feel real, yet at the same time felt SO completely comfortable, that it was like i had never ever left his side.
It was lovely…and from that moment on we chatted, recapped, relived and spent the entire time just reminiscing about the past, where we were now an the future. I love Ronnie so much and we’re so close that we can literally say anything to one another, and it was really good to see Doug (his other half) and know that not only we’re they both amazing people as individuals, but as a couple the most loving and romantic kind. I mean, it’s always good to know that someone you care about is so well looked after by a more than loving and decent human being, as that doesn’t happen often, does it?
After drinks and a chat, we went on a walk and we didn’t quit chatting the entire time, passed high end stores on London streets, passed dogs made out of sand, fake snowfalls, Hamleys and weirdos with ferrets. To us, it was just us and London…and life was amazing.
We eventually found a place to eat and our choice was ‘So’ on Warwick street and after fancying our chances…and teaching Ronnie the phrase ‘bits and bobs’…as enjoyed a very Japanese lunch, were we ordered everything we could off the menu and talked work, the passed, boys, life and love. I taught him about England. He reminded me about LA. Everything couldn’t be more perfect and i well i’ve missed him so much. I know i keep saying it, but i just can’t believe that he was right there with me…and neither could he! LA’s a tough town, i know that more than anyone, so i’m really happy that he ventured to London to find some extra ‘Wunna’ support….because i’m the buddy that loves him wholeheartedly. I’m with him all the way… He means the world to me….and sometimes you forget how much, until you haven’t seen someone in ages….(Wait, i might just have a cry here….)
Fun, fun, trainer shopping and more fun…then back to hotel we went…where we just sat and caught up some more…as that it all that mattered to us. I mean, Ronnie and I by character are really different, yet we understand one another completely and i admire him because not only is he ambitious, but he works really hard to get where he want sot be, off his own back and sacrifices everything but true love (as Doug his soulmate and well rightly so…Doug is amazing..I mean when you see girls or guys with this amazing counterpart who is always there no matter what, with strength, you automatically adore them or feel a bit jealous if you’re single, or even if you’re in a couple and don’t have that! Lol.)
So much fun. So much love.
And then i had to go. WHICH WAS SAD.
But the reality of it all is that they had bene over to work and they were shattered. I had to get back for work in the morning and the babies and I was shattered. I’m a busy girl and well when it comes to trying to be a success or even something as small or as big as Christmas…working hard is a must in my world. (I mean i’m in tight November where in which i’m not going out at all in order to make sure i accumulate as much as I can. Like i hate when people moan about having no dosh…yet can’t quite figure out the knack of saving or sacrifices. Lol. Stop moaning. Just sort it. Haha.) My Daddy always taught me that you’d always be rich if save more than you spend. SIMPLES! And if you spend more than you save…then you can’t really moan about it. If your lifestyle keep up is more than you can afford, than either adjust your lifestyle or work harder Lol. The concept isn’t that wacky.
But yes, all i’m trying to say is less moaning, more figuring it out.
Like Ronnie said yesterday, whilst we were hot chocolating in lounges and talking about our sex lives…I’ve always been a girl who’s been quite responsible and someone who even though may present an image of ‘wahoo’ has completely got her shit together…and that’s important…(Ronnie’s smart tooo…..He reminded me of the time we made his Fake ID, just so we could drink at The Abbey. Lol.)
I got on the train back home with my cocktails in a can and with my legs aching, because i had no seat and had to stand. Lol. FOR TWO HOURS!!! HAHAH. KILL ME. The good thing is that four different people felt bad for me and offered me they’re booked seat home, simply out of kindness. I mean, I must have got into about 7 conversations with everyone who couldn’t bare to see me stand (It’s my kitten face and red knee high boots)…lol…in that moment i knew that on the whole mankind was good. Yes, they were all men and yes they were all half drunk. But kindness is still kindness…and it’s weird because you sometimes find support and kindness, where you never expected it. Boiling hot train. Shitty standing. But filled with love.
Note…never ever drink stood in on a boiling hot train…it makes you feel sick, but works out your stomach muscles at the same time. (A guy offered me a Stella in a brown paper bag at one point…and i drew the line at being social.)
Got off the train…the air felt fresher!
Couldn’t wait to get home after travelling because i knew i had my babies there waiting…and i miss them so much when i’m away from them. In fact, I right now, need more time with them. It’s weird when you’ve been a single mum for most of it…you become a hell of a lot more attached emotionally to the beings that have always been there…as your own.
But i’m happy. I’m grateful. I’m honest. And i’m being tough as nails.
If you don’t like something…change it.
I have work tomorrow…babies to sort out and then an ‘evening do’ wedding to go to. It’s a pretty busy day, so i better Bacardi up, get some rest and recoup.
I never know what’s going to happen to me…and i have no clue why i’m so emotional right now? All i do know is, that whatever does happen…is going to be wonderful. I’m super grateful for all that I have…And y’know sometimes i live in absolute fear, that all that I have, that i love and that is mine…will not be forever. But knowing my history…you’d get that. Lol.