A bit of a Dildo Do Doooo

I’m absolutely thoroughly loving being Chrissie Wunna right now. I do feel like i want to be doing a great deal more than pouting and hair tossing (aah the life of a cleverly manoevered Lady Of Leisure,) however, i am accidentally living a life of sheer marvel and that’s thanks to being concieved via slaggy sex, boobies, a talent of creativity, drinking, a blog and well ofcourse Paris Hilton. Woohoo! (It’s her birthday today.)

I did an interview for an American magazine today and well now it’s time to pick up the pace. When i’m occupied, i’m not bored. When i’m not bored, i’m out of trouble. When i’m out of trouble, i’m not dying of heart ache or having to lie my way out of a sticky situation. I feel a busy girl, or a seemingly busy girl, is always rather attractive.When you take an interest in yourself…others begin to take an interest in you. It’s that easy. I need to stop forgetting that! I first learnt this wacky concept, on my sunny balcony in LA on Beverly and Kings, West Hollywood. My neighbour Cletus, who had a different girl ringing his doorbell every night, made me learn it. I did…the boys came a flocking. He told me to begin going places ALONE, with a note book…like a coffee shop or cafe and simply write in my notebook, without making eye contact with anyone. I did it, outside Coffee Bean, on La Cienaga and 3rd. I did it in sunlight, with a latte and a little skirt. (I’m not all good. I’m a Glamour Puss. I never forget the importance of decent lighting and a little bit of leg.)

Anyway, within 20 minutes three ‘handsomes,’ from separate walks of life had scurried around me, flashing the ‘Hunter’ in them at Me. I took their cards and never called. But it was then that i knew, i had that oh so important..’PussyCat’ POWER. I did nothing. Just concentrated on myself and for some reason it was attractive? I mean, i maybe did give them a ‘look.’ (I always give a method my own twist.) But fuck it…you have to take the rules and bend them. Ten minutes after that, a photographer for a popular magazine swiggedy swaggered up, with a business card, told me he wanted me to come down and test shoot….and there you have it, a career in modelling began!

Away from all that…(god i really fancy a cocktail) i’ve decided i would be quite fond of a gypo wedding, simply so i can have an inappropriate amount of glitter smeared all over my eyes, and maybe a tattoo by the end of the night. Infact, i could even rob all my guests!! I’d make a fortune! Fuck the Hotel Bel Air (where i was previously wed,) take me to my caravan and show me LOVE bitches! (Ive just eaten four chocolate eclairs, and i’ve just found out that the cream inside them, were of a ‘gone off’ nature. Lovely! Lovely!)

I’ve been playing with a computery magical genie that makes you think of a celeb (i thought of Me….OH shut up! Hahha) and well it takes you through a series of questions, that you are to answer ‘yes/no/maybe’ to, and basically guesses who you’re thinking of. I was thinking of Me… Internet Genie was thinking of a woman who kind of resembled Jackie Chan and  Grottbags who is on the telly somewhere in Asia. You can’t win them all. Well you can..but that obviously takes booze and CHEATING! I played it fair and square and lost! LEARN from this my Dolls! Fair is over-rated. Give your ‘game playing’ a tan. You’ll win every time!

Other than that, Wazza (manager of this beautiful site) has decided…especially now he’s making a little name for himself, but without being followed around shopping centres, that he would like me to order a BIG RUBBER VAGINA mould, so that he can place it on his desk, at work and fill it with M & M’s! Then he changed his mind (thank the lord of decency) and decided that instead he would prefer a vibrating cone (it’s a sex toy, for all you innocent ears amongst us.) This cone would apparently beable to slowly ‘vibrate‘ M & M’s out methodically, when turned on, almost like an automatic dispenser. I committed to *puzzled face.* Therefore then he cleaned up his foul language and said, ‘Like a fanny with Parkinson’s disease!‘ (What a gentleman!)

I’m loving life, i’m living life. I’m flying around with a glittery haze of ‘ooh laa’ and accessorising it with determination. I love you all very very dearly. I’m winking. I’m pouting and living the dream of an Ultimate Glamour Puss. I hope you are too and if not….slip into something a little more comfortable and rock out YOUR sexy! x

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