I’m sorry I haven’t blogged in ages. I’ve just been doing life & having fun. I haven’t wanted to blog, even though i’d take my pink laptop everywhere with the sheer intentions of goodness. I’ve done so much. I’ve lived. I’ve loved. No. Infact, i’ve prioritised. If you could feel how insane the last month has felt on my heart, you’d get it. It’s been filled with success, but emotional torment. True love, yet family stress. Great friendships, yet horrific USERS…An utter sense of worth and identity, but at the same a literal loss of ‘this is me.’
Everything happens for a reason…I’m not one to dwell. You get over everything with a better gust of swiftness, when you just sit and feel it. I’ve done that. I smashed that. Haha. I’m now fresh of daisies.
I came out of the last month, knowing the people who I loved and knowing the people who I hated.
(And I don’t mean ‘disliked,’ I mean hated.)
Don’t be afraid to tell the people who need to fuck off out of your life TO ‘fuck off.’ The shit that they carry internally, should never be burdened upon you. Let them do their worse, because in the end a good heart, good soul, and the faith in that alone… always wins. The glory that they get from their momentary bit of ‘Yippee’ from being a dick, doesn’t remotely compare to the actual long term success that you achieve. A success that they will never have, simply because of their manner.
Don’t be afraid to tell the people that you love, that you LOVE & appreciate them. I say it ALL the time, but hear it back very little. Haha. Being an attention whore, this doesn’t suit me well. So please do say it more. 😉 Learn from me, say it all the time, even when you don’t hear it back. Something in the air around you changes and a good kinda magic happens.
But yes, i’ve been meaning to blog, yet left my laptop unopened. It didn’t matter where I took it, with good intentions. But I figured, If I just got on with ‘getting a blog out the way’…the flow & essential, glittery discipline would just naturally ooze from my kitten soul? Right??? Then, i’d be ready to go.
So this is kinda my warm up…
I will say that I’ve had the most remarkable weekend with the babies. Junior is filled with love and confidence. He’s a really sensible boy, with a heart of gold. Ruby is ME, is every single way. So you can literally imagine, what she will be like. However, when it comes to love…both are like this….
Ruby: ‘Mum, the love that I have, in my heart for you… is insane.’
Junior: ‘I love you soooo much Mum…I have a *M* on my heart….’
There were moments through the weekend where in which I saw how filled with glee they were and every inch of me filled with utter happiness. It made a change from the wine top ups.. Lol. My brain sort of hit *pause* and their faces went into slow motion…as we sat on top of a ferris wheel, in the sky, above the world below. I looked at Junior as he was in a state of euphoric happiness. I looked at Ruby and she giggled out loud, at the top of her voice. That alone, alongside time with my own Mum (who is my idol), painted our weekend adventure in nothing short of diamonds.
Baby Daddy: ‘I don’t know why they love Chrissie SO much. But they live for her. They are her. Which makes it hard as a Dad, to either of them, to even get a look in, when it comes to the love department…and that can be really hard.’
(I’ll tell ya why! It’s because I show them how much I love them. How much they matter to me, EVERY DAY. I’m honest with them. I trust them. I let them BE THEMSELVES. I never wanted them to feel at a loss, so I put everything into their world of love. I don’t judge them and I’ve always put both of them BEFORE, I put myself. *JUSTSAYINBOO*)
The family ARE all filming a show right now (it was meant to be an IG series, but it managed to get ‘picked up’) and it’s been great. It’s actually been fun meeting you all, whilst filming….and it’s just been wonderful to have such a flipping opportunity! I didn’t actual realise how many ‘showmen’ we had in the family. Lol
What I need to do is I tell you all about my time in Howden…(because I had THE BEST TIME EVER, with Tom & Liz, who are two of the most brilliant people, I’ve ever met.) I’ve known Tom (@shoptomloves) for years…and Liz (@virtueskinclinic) has been the most perfect addition to Wunna Land.
But before I go into my time in Howden, I’ll tell you, i’m still in love. ‘DBear’ is a marvel. He’s just wonderful. He’s the most supportive soul. I tell you that he’s away right now. But it’s kinda made me love him more dearly.
DBear: ‘We’re in this together. You can do this…I believe in you baby.’
..and although he’s feeling a little shocked and surprised (in a good way)…everything is accidentally fitting into place. I feel really lucky. We’re both really happy. (I know ‘AS IF!)
But anyway on the 23rd of March (because we’ve now hit April 1st) I ventured to the beautiful village of Howden to see Liz and Tom. This blog was meant to be about that…Yet, used it as a warm up to the ‘bonanza.’
Liz is one of the most thoughtful and beautiful Queens of utter panache, that I have ever met. (And i’ve met a lot of people.) The way she made me feel was divine, on every level. On the love and service scale of ‘utter divinity,’ she’s up there at ‘1.’ So Liz, knows my dear friend Tom (it’s how it works) and owns the Virtue Skin Clinic, In Howden.
After my experience…I pretty much made Liz in charge of my entire face, simply because she’s a dream come true. I went to her for Botox and fillers…I’m in my late 30’s, heading into my 40’s soon and wanted my face to look delicious. I found @virtueskinclinic. I found Liz.
Me: ‘Stop laughing… when you have a needle in your hand.’
… and the results have been MARVELLOUS. I can’t wait to show you.
Yet away from that, as a human being, she is everything. There’s something about her that’s so incredibly inspirational, with a sassy, witty, fun twist of glamour. She looks after everyone. She’s First Class. But her eyes tell a story. I don’t know that story..but I know that there IS one.
Tom: ‘You’re both SO alike. I had to make you hangout.’
Me: ‘I love her.’
She works so hard and has everything she wants. There’s an actual apartment inside her home and a Italian marble stoned, bar of HUGENESS…. I was impressed…YET, again, away from all that, her soul is just exciting, glamourous yet pure. She’s fun.
Liz: ‘I’m gonna have to change my knickers because these are too tight, on the…’
There’s a lot i’m gonna tell you about my time in Howden…and it all started when I rocked into Selby train station…