Life Jiggles


All sorts is happening and it’s hilarious! From my view point…it’s funny, but only because I don’t let the art of pointless ‘jiggery pokery’ get to me. So, yes, i’m happy. I’ve just been working, snapchat filtering with the babies, being my basic, yet glamourous toolish self, having wines and Desperados and enjoying every single minute of it.

I still don’t have my car, as I’ve blown it’s gasket? So, as my other friends pick up their new Audi A1’s, Green with interior pink light Mercedes and new showroom Mini’s, my executive wheels are still in the garage, getting fixed and waiting for me to pay £2000. Lol. I shouldjust get a new car, like a full on cougar, white Range Rover. But i won’t will I? I’ll just get the good old glammy Merc fixed. I’m rubbish at knowing anything about cars. So again, i’m finding all things in life humourous. I’m taking taxis and having ‘lifts of Mum’ at thirty five. Haha. It’s not so bad. I’m one to make the most out of anything. (Right now, i’m disliking stressy people, or people who stress over nada…so i’m therefore embracing dealing with things with a smile or absolute denial. 🙂 )

Everything’s great. It’s the Leeds Lifetsyle Awards soon. I have another photoshoot shortly. Nothings going on in my love life, yet it doesn’t feel bad. I feel pretty great! Lots of my guy friends are going on about how evil their girlfriends are being (you know the ones that hit that ‘control’ button with an absolute jiggle and POW!) Well it’s kinda making me feel as though no ones’ happy in the love bond that they’ve chosen to be in…well aside from Vicky and Guy (hahah) and ofcourse Lisa and Robin! That’s about it. Everyone else hates their partner. Hahaha. When i officially partner up…I’m going to be the happiest chick alive…in heels.

I’m really proud of all my LA friends for doing so well right now. There’s more to come on that. I’m remembering everything, like all the good times, the bad times and smashing Rudy’s plant pots because he pissed me off, when i was 20 something. I’ve been missing my guy bestie Brandon lots for some reason. He’s naturally an adventurer and i love that about him and even though he’s a ‘stick to his guns’ kinda guy, he’s soft. Yet he’s currently going through a divorce…which i know isn’t that much fun, even in nipple tassles and with a rum. So i kinda want to be there for him…to remind him how ace life is..with Wunna Land on your side.

Don’t linger in the past if it’s not feeling exactly right. Move forward with a positive mind.

I’ve definitely decided that i’m awesome. I’m certainly not taking any prisoners. I’m feeling on point and in my Autumn wardrobe. (Well the bits that i’ve managed to purchase.)

I did have a moan the other day because there have certainly been people who are of the ‘Jeremy Kyle’ variety, who are all loved up and happy. I sort of looked at my friend and stated such…and she replied with a,

‘Yes, but you’re in a different situation, as you can sort of filter through who you’d want to be with and afford to be a bit more picky…and with your shallowness, it’s impossible.’ Hahaha.

She definitely classed me as ‘hot.’ HAHAHA. So now i’m never gonna let her forget it! Although it definitely didn’t make me feel big headed, as to me the result is important. At the end of the day that chick is happy…and is with someone who loves her madly ans doing life with her…and that’s great…and STILL ahead of my gain…winks, hair tosses n’all. Hahaha.

Away from that…

I’m SUPER thankful to Tom Fox! I was happy that my blog was..or is being read on every continent of the world right now and in hundreds of countries, YET remember how i said that not one single human in Iceland had ever once tapped into WRONG! Now, thanks to Tom…who is currently flying back to Donny from Iceland…TOTALLY read a Wunna blog IN Iceland…HAHAHA…(Yes, i did tell him too, but that’s bedside the point. The point is that it happened and now i have utter WORLD DOMINATION. 😉 ) *Victory Air Punch Here.*

I do want to remind people that my brain does actually work. I’m not that thick. Yet based upon some of the messages that i get, you’d think that i chew on candy all day in sequins, to ditz music. I’m a lot more dynamic and driven than you think.

My brain works. Shocking, i know. Hahaha.

Other than that, i’m in need of a bit of fun, a bit of excitement. I’ve worked hard and not really played hard at all, infact not at all…so i want a bit of a ‘can can’ a glass clink and a belly laugh. It’s due and it’s what keeps my mojo alive.

So yeah everything’s great. I’m really lucky and i’m definitely not lame. 🙂

Eton Mess called me a ‘weirdo’ today, a lorry driver told me he was going to give me a sheep, Ruby is narked off because she asked her boyfriend (she’s five years of age) if he wanted to marry her and he said ‘yes’ bt then changed his mind later and said ‘no.’ HAHAHA. And Junior just wants to Motorboat my boobs and ask me to make him eggs.

Welcome to Wunna land!

I can’t believe that we’re almost in October! It’s like September didn’t count??? Where did it go? I mean, we only have 12 more Monday mornings until Christmas day!! However, i’m not complaining as Christmas is my favourite time of year as i have a December birthday, which means i should get presents. Lol.






Crazy little thing called…


I’m back, I’m not whack and I’m certainly on track!

Let’s blog!

So, i’ve been really busy, enjoying and getting on with life! I’ve enjoyed cheering people up and just not taking anything too seriously. I’ve refrained from putting up with the Billy Bull**** that the world or others can often try to pour upon you. Safety first! Belt in or duck, weave & dodge. 🙂 You are a product of your environment. So it’s essential that you karate chop the negative with a glamourous shrug and absorb all things positive as they fill you with warmth and good vibes. It’s attractive. I’ve swirled in a glittery happiness and felt really lucky about my own story, be it in work, at home, in love and all round! I’ve been steady and kept myself to myself…yet i’m ready for a bit of fun this week.

I still don’t have my car as when i went to sort it all out, the joint was closed. Yipppee! But ah well…what can do? Exactly nada. I did a weekend graft. Work feels great! And as a result, I’ve managed to enjoy accidental granny naps and all day today 🙂  inbewteen moments with the kids, my mum and my dad. I’m feeling relaxed and boy does it feel good. Infact, I will say the Baby Daddies, Pete and Keiran have been good during the no car situation. Pete always offers destressy verbal support and Keiran will always by nature see it as his ‘duty’ (because i have birthed his child) even though it’s not is duty really, to solve any problem that I have..and that’s kind.

‘Chrissie, don’t stress…if you need your car issue sorted. I’ll do it. call me in the morning and i will have it all sorted out for you. Call me, if you need ANYTHING!!’

I’ve giggled with new faces and been grateful for the return of old faces. I’ve missed my LA guy friends (Brandon especially, we’ve had such great LA adventures in our time and i miss him as he’s always so lovely. As a friend, he never ever fails to make sure that i know how much he appreciates my existence openly…and i’m the same way. It’s ace!) I’ve also enjoyed moments pointing out eye candy with the girls. Like i always say, ‘eye candy is always fun, as it’s harmless. There’s not pressure, no drama, just peeks and giggles and an appreciation of those who are attractive. Lol.

‘Who is that?’

‘You’re specialty. A greasy, dark haired, GQ looking Italian, in a suit.’ HAHAHAH.

I don’t really think i have a type? But my friends certainly seem to think i do. I don’t think I discriminate? (That much. 🙂 ) Yet apparently, i have a motif that i will go for…and that motif (which i swear is not true as in the past i’ve dated all different kinds of gents, from all different walks of life.)  Yet according to my friends, this motif is ‘tall, dark haired, tanned, italian looking, stylish male.’ HAHAHAHA. Doesn’t every one like that though? I mean, i’m not one to discriminate on hair colour. Lol. I don’t pick people just on a look lol, there are other things, OTHER THAN THE MOTIF lol, that i do look for and that is a sexiness in the form of kindess, thoughfulness, humour, a sense of fun, great manners loyalty, consistency, silliness, reliability and INTELLECT. I love smart. I find it sexy. I love funny…i find it sexy. I love affectionate…i find it sexy. I like brave ambitious, emotionally stable men. 🙂 A physical attraction matters…dont’ get me wrong. As i couldn’t bring my self to make ‘whooppee’ with someone that i didn’t find ‘ooh laa.’

Anyway, away from that…I did lunch with my folks this afternoon and my dad tried to sell me at a Turkish delight stand to a man from Iran. He does it smuggly, whenever a random guy comments on the way i may look… or my boobies. He reminds them that I get my ‘sexiness’ from HIM, which puts them off instantly. Hahaha. My Father and I have been gifted with a tremendous sense of humour and fun. The man from Iran, didn’t even know what hit him. But i still got sold. Lol. Cheers Pops! He’s never really worried about me or over protective as he’s always super proud of how i can handle the sticky male situations i seem to get into, with absolute Wunna charm and it’s because i’m so used to it. My Mum on the other hand, who’s ace and dynamic, will kill you, if you mess with her first born. 🙂 I like that. I think it’s hot. 🙂 She won’t let me deal with a ‘situation’ of sorts, as she sees it, as her duty as MUM, (lol) to step in and sort it out for me, before i’ve even begun with the evil charm.

I got really bored today and started stalking everyone’s Facebook profile. It seems you all do it too, as when i mentioned it, it got ‘liked’ quite a lot by other fellow stalkers. Kinda made me feel at home. 🙂 I even had a discussion on how you need to becareful incase you accidentally ‘like’ their pictures from years ago or genuinely like’ a shot by accident whilst getting carried away on a ‘zoom’ in. Lol. HAHAHA.

I won’t tell you who i stalked…but today out of boredom…i was on point. HAHAHA.

My inbox is still thriving, which is boring now. I kinda only wait to see if it’s a message from of my actual friends or a message from a guy that I might fancy. It’s a shame that their messages get wedged inbetween pictures of random willies, nonstop random video calls (that i will never answer, IF I DON’T KNOW YOU,) utter weirdness or I will say compliments. That bit’s nice.

I also got asked the other day how i manage to get on so well with my exes. I get on with them well because i place them in ‘the exes’ box and i never return to that box for ‘tinkers’ EVER. I’m not petty or stressy by nature, i respect them, value you them as friends and i think that sometimes in life you meet people for that particular chapter…and that’s a good thing. It’s not a bad thing. However once that chapter is up…and your rapport has changed…your connection with them alters…and they kinda just become a friend, as a new being struts in, which is a being you’re again MEANT TO MEET and it’a normal to feel excited about that without guilt. And that’s really natural. People always act like it’s so odd? I never get that. It’s how life works. I mean i hate it when people moan on about how tragic they’re relationship is…if you hate it…change it. Simples. Be with someone who makes you feel excited…a better connection, as one day you’ll meet someone, who you struts into your life, that you don’t run out of love for…and life is all blissy without drama. It’s easy, they understand you and yes again it’s VERY NORMAL. Just get on with it.

Also with my exes, ofcourse i will have gone through hideous times with them, hence why they became exes…Yet I manage to get along with them, as when i (very rarely) or sometimes *flashback* upon them, my memory has stored a GOOD moment, rather than a bad moment. It’s not in my nature to focus on the negative. I find it dull. So instead of remembering the shitty bits, I focus on the time I left Eric’s home in LA one sunny morning and he shouted, ‘One day i’m going to ask you to marry me Christina.’ And the time when Mike and I used to piss ourselves laughing at others and act it out on nights, with a bourbon. Or when Keiran used to have flowers sent to my work and leave me surprise gifts around the house to make me smile, whenever he was set to work away. I mean, I’ll never go back to these boys and GOD i had some awful times of shouts and tears with them…but they’re the moments i remember, the good bits, which helps me get along with them as friends.

I think chicks stress out about their relationships or their love life a lot more than they need to and that’s just down to security. I read this the other day….The way I see it (and i’m super single) is that i might not be someones first choice, or only choice, yet i’m a GREAT choice and ‘more fool them’ for not noticing. Right? I don’t pretend to be someone i’m not, because i’m good at being ME. I might not be proud of some of the things that i’ve done in the past, but i’m pretty proud of who i am today. I may not be perfect…but i don’t need to be. They either take the opportunity or watch me walk away. And that’s a positive way to see it because nothing is more attractive than an emotionally together female.

God, i need my weave tightened. I need to tan. I really fancy noodles and i’m about to chill with a Sunday night tipple and a bit of telly watching.







A bit of a life ramble


Morning! We’ve passed the midweek hump and we’re jollying straight through to the weekend! I’m feeling great and there’s a glow of positive ‘ooh laa’ radiating from me. To be fair, i’ve been super sensible over the last few days. So sensible, i’ve been boring. AND I’VE LOVED EVERY SINGLE MINUTE OF IT. 🙂 I mean, God, i used to blog this as a young 20 year old and now to move forward and still be here rambling on about my life as a mid thirty year old, makes me laugh. As the the 20 year old version of me would yawn an throw glitzy ‘i’m bored’ tomatoes at the thirty five year old version of me.

All i’ve done this week is knuckle down and tend to the art of ‘wake up, work, home, babies, chill, sleep.’ On repeat! And it’s been awesome. I’ve felt really focused and when you’re of an ambitious nature, and you gleefully ‘tick off’ productivity as an accomplishment for the day, it kinda makes you feel good. It lifts off a layer of stress and i’m not one to hold stress in or enjoy being around those who tinker being stressy, as i find it damaging. So all in all i’ve felt doubley uplifted…as of yesterday! Being sensible is my new fun! Yet, i’m not too terrified as i do know that i must still be fun. I mean, any human who is shocked that they are being sensible, MUST have some kind of ‘fun time’ issue.

Whatelse can I tell you? My nails are on a recoup break. My car is still in the garage and i’m definitely in denial over the fact that it may be massively busted. I’ve been neglecting my teeth whitening regime out of being tired late at night. (I will do it.) But these past two nights i’ve had super early ‘going up to bed’ nights and during those times, i’ve managed to give the old pearlies a blast. I’m still in the game…i’m not one to refrain from finishing something that i’ve started. Once i’m in, i’m IN.

I’ve got lots of good things going on. Lots of random interest in this blog, which keeps leading to opportunity. I’m thinking about cocktails all the time, to the point where in which i even Googled Tiki Bar cocktails last night, just to look at them. (Sad, I know! Lol. But i loves a good old Tiki Bar.) I’v ebeen thinking about my time in LA a lot and missing my dudios. I mean, i’ve managed to chat to Theo and Brandon etc…and Kamesha from time to time. So that it always better than nada. Fo’sho!

I’m LOVING  the fact that Autumn or ‘fall ‘as i say it, has crept up on us and we can finally surrender to it, chuck the old mojito stained bikini back in the closet and whop out a burgundy, or dark olive jumper and a good old faux fur coat! HURRAH! We have our Michael Buble CD’s at the ready and warm apple ciders prepared for the coming months of snuggliness.

Summer is fun, but it’s flingy. I do love Summer and warmth, but I do find myself TRYING to be or find fun in Summer. It’s not natural to me. Autumn and Winter preps us for a more cuddly, warm, festive time, filled with love and warm boozy drinks, under the night stars or by fireplaces. I love it. It’s a settley down time, with bursts of fun here and there, where every one couples up, like little love struck mammals and swings into Halloween dressups, an bonfire air and the absolute magic of Christmas. (Which is my favourite time of year, as well…i have a December birthday! Boo yah!)

I guess, i don’t have much to say, other than don’t forget to look at the big picture…we all stress out over nothing and take things that aren’t too serious, very seriously, instead of enjoying what life is about.. We all feel terrified when it comes to embracing new things, chapters and people and we shouldnt…

This is the big picture…and i always say it.. We are simply little hot beings, all doing our own minuscule version of life in this massively giant Earth Ball, that is tinkering around the sun. Were suspended in the air.. in a flipping ball…and we’re stressing out over all sorts, instead of having fun!

You are one phone call away from your life feeling completely different, be it good or bad. Or even one decision away. Enjoy it!

Live, love without fear, don’t give two tiny hoots of what other people think of you and embrace what you stand for. Be decent, be happy…make your dreams come true, you can do it. People do everyday! Work hard for what you want and reevaluate the things that are no longer making you happy. See the big picture. Make your story worthwhile….

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Like I look at this picture and cannot even one bit believe that on every single continent of this giant glitzy ball, someone reaches for their phone/laptop and *

Early Morning Wake Ups

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It’s five o clock in the morning, as i’ve gone to put the babies to bed, accidentally fallen asleep with them and opened my eyes at 4am to start my day. I actually feel great, like i’ve had a whole nights sleep, yet fast forward to 4pm later today and i’ll be feeling like i’m being slowly dragged through a prickly bush backwards, in a potato sack. Lol. (I’m not sure why i just didn’t say ‘tired.’) I have tunes on, i intend to fit in an extra half hours kip and i’m about to get showered. I still have no car and i’m taxing to work. But i’m not too bothered by it, as life is life, if they fix it they fix it, if they don’t…then….well…I’ll need new wheels.

Yesterday was busy. I loved it as i love the excitement of it all,even though it’s hard to just focus on one thing, whilst you firecracker onto lots of little things at once. You kinda just strut in, and we all have a strut, take a deep breathe, sit at your desk, and as you slow motion breathe out…BOOM, it ALL STARTS and you find yourself shot out of a canon into a world of busy. *Phone, computer, phone, computer, this, that, everything, phone, chat, computer, chat, organize, phone, computer, chat.*

It whizzed by. I remember looking at the clock with a ‘it’s home time already!!!???!’ Yesterday was about problem solving and nursing the worries of others…dynamically. Bottom line, we did it. Hurrah!

As i had my wheels towed away, ‘Fairytale Blond’ left early to obtain new wheels. (She’s cute because she’s certainly on point, when it comes to work and business yet there’s a fluffy girlish excitement to her, which makes you smile and just want to spoon her.)

‘The Mighty’ is great as she’s really direct and good at what she does…and to be honest i don’t even know how she’s finding the energy to muscle through work and ‘us lot’ right now. But again…she does because we’re all workaholics who dream of vacations in the sun…but never get around to going on them. Lol.

Other than Webbo, Camper Van Hodge and Sassy Mason…that was it. We sauntered into Monday and just took what life batted at us…I guess, the trick is to catch whatever life throws at you, mould it into something that is far more positive and then wham it back out there. I like ‘Sassy Mason,’ as there a sexy toughiness to her, that it sponged with a feminine softness. But you don’t mess with her, even if she’s offering you a Rich Tea. And ‘Camper Van Hodge’ she’s great on a morning…as I remember the other day as I performed by strut in, en route to a fight of stairs, she sort of stopped me and reaffirmed that there was someone out there for everyone and that she ‘in all her years’ believes that every human has that one soul mate…and that i’ll find mine. And even though i giggled, smiled and walked up that flight of stairs, i absorbed it…then did my hair in a storage cupboard. 🙂 And ‘Webbo’ I sat and did a good old Yorkshire cup of tea with him today as I read him parts of my inbox. He totally felt my pain…if LAUGHING AT ME meant sympathy. Lol. There’s some proper lunatic boys out there. I don’t want to marry you if i’ve never ever spoken to you in my entire life, or have a belly button fight with you, or have you fly me to Bermuda for ‘boning.’ This is why work is good, as you can curb the nonsense out of your life and simply because you’re busy.

London Business man, who i’m really, sort of good friends with now. I mean i don’t fancy him as he’s missed his window of opportunity for that AGES ago…but i do like that we get on well enough to be mates. He’s always going through so much drama in his love life and i don’t know why? Other than he picks badly. Or…well i don’t know? But he’ll be fine. I mean, it’s hard being in your thirties and finding a decent connection, I guess… as by that time you know so much more about yourself and you’re a lot wiser, making you far more picky. And he’s 38…and still has not yet settled down. But he wants to, which is honourable. He’s funny, but he’s sensitive. And like everyone else, he doesn’t want to be 40 something and on Tinder scoping for dates. Lol.

I’m NOT on Tinder by the way, or any other dating site, as i despise them and don’t have time for techy romance. So, incase you think you’re talking to me on a site of that sort…you really aren’t. It’s a big fat bald man pretending to be me. That has happened so many times. Years ago, i actually had a guy show up at my work, thinking he’d been talking to me for ages, when i had never ever in my life EVER, seen, or spoken to him once, be it online or in the flesh. Poor sod. He even showed me the conversations and i read through them with a ‘that really hasn’t been me, it’s just a picture of me.’

Yet, saying that in this day and age you do meet people online…and I mean GOD, I fancy ‘Eton Mess’ like crazy and he never liked my picture and sent me that message about pudding…lol….on Facebook…our paths would’ve never crossed.

I get on really well with ‘Eton Mess’ and i’m noticing now, that we actually getting along more and more and on loads of different levels and naturally. You know how you start off chatting to someone and it’s friendly and funny and you get to know each other with banter, whilst delivering out the correct information…:) 🙂 Then it develops and you peek into each other’s lives a bit more. Then you meet up and do drinks and talk life…and at that point it’s usually a ‘make or break.’ BUT OUR MEET UP WAS AMAZING and because it was so easy. There was no drama, we got along so well…He is so handsome and so smart…but like i said, his soul is good…he’s HILARIOUS, but someone who takes matters of the heart and things like family…seriously. Which is important to me. We are both parents. And we’re both hard working and fun. Literally my perfect male. I am a girl that understands this male. But more importantly, I have a positive vibe about this. I mean now, we’re at this lovely stage, where he feels part of Wunnaland, as i’ll tell him about my day, throughout the day and even show him my day like we’ve either known each others for ages. We talk about our children, work…all sorts. I find him and his world interesting…

And then he made me smile…as after I had diddled with lunch, i looked down at my phone, during a non busy work moment,to check to see if my car would be ready…and there was a message asking me when i was free again? 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 And when you’re a guy and you’re making a girl smile…you are already winning. (Especially if that girl in question is ME! Lol. Lucky Boy! Hahaha.)

I bumped into Tomfri and Reuben within minutes of each other on my way home. I’ve known both guys for years since being a teen as we’d all hang out do drinking as mates and it was funny to see us, in the exact same spots, but now parents and ‘rushing back’ from work. Tomfri, in his tie…which two KFC boxes at the ready for the children, didn’t know that Magaluf might be fun for a Stag do.

‘Are there actual bars and people there?’

‘Are you for real? It’s called Shagga..scruff…there’s everything!’

Then we took the piss out of ourselves on a curb side and decided that we looked better than everyone else, before i ran off to Tesco.

THEN I bumped into Reuben and Baby Ramona. Love Reuben, so hilarious. Again he briefly skimmed his party antics (I think everyone just thinks that i’m super ‘party’ when i’m really just fun, but stay home in my pj’s all the time with the kids Lol.)

Anyway, then he demanded that Ramona his baby girl ask  me for CHOPSTICKS. Hahahaha. He’s doomed now, as everytime i see his daughter i WILL give her the most inaporpriate gifts from the Orient to take home with her…:) BE WARNED.

Right, i’m off to make a coffee, get showered and start getting ready for work.








Great Guys, Bad Days & Karma



Anyway…Sunday’s are usually what i label ‘Funday’s’ as it’s the day in the week where i get an afternoon to simply ‘just do me.’ It’s the calm before the busy work storm. The chill. The…ME. The recoup. The afternoon where in which i do the things that I WANT to do, rather than the things that I NEED to do.

It’s been stressy, lol…and i could focus on all the bad, rash n’all…yet instead i’m going to do what i do best and pin point the positives of the day…which is…NONE! HAHAHA.

Starts off, life is Dandy. The babies happy. Ruby throws a drink in my face and storms off to her room because i refused to let her bully her brother because she was bored. Pretty loving moment. 🙂 Pretty calm times in Wunnaland.

We all make up, i make them eggs….life goes on…we’re all looking dapper. I’m feeling pretty and dare i say cute? I do the baby drop offs…First stop Pete’s (where in which my little independant female loin fruit, * dolls off * up his drive with her buggy, without a care in the world! She likes to be out and about, she’s not a girl that is very clingy, she’s a firecracker. Like the wind, she’s gone and on the look out for her next adventure. I wonder who she gets that from? The last thing Ruby wants, is ME ruining her plans for fun.) It’s funny as i posted a video on Facebook, which got Pete into trouble by accident. Lol.)

Then I did the Junior drop off with Keiran, who had some crazy ‘cave man’ beard. I tried to video the drop off for fun, as Keiran’s the opposite to camera shy. But my phone didn’t work and instead I only got a few seconds and then got carried away with making fun of his beard. He likes a bit of banter though…so all in all…life was fine.

Then it was ME TIME. The time where in which i could do anything i wanted for a few delicious hours of bliss. I knew i needed to get my nails done and that I needed to begin purchasing my Autumn work wardrobe. Burgundy is IN. So, i decide to enjoy my drive into a town centre, swoop into the multi storey car park, pause to press the button that will slide out my ticket…and as the barrier goes up and my car drives 3 inches forward…LIFE STOPS!


Fuck sake! I pick my moments! I always break down in the worst spots!

So there i am, dressed ridiculously glam with my diamante earrings in bling, with legs out and fur bimbo boots..plonking on my hazards and running out to the car behind me to with an,

‘Oh my god, I am so sorry…my cars just broken down, so i just need to find help to move it and then you’ll be sorted.’

EVERYONE’S HONKING AND SWEARING AT ME. It’s hilarious. No, it’s mayhem…and i looked like some amazingly glammy TOOL, just ditzing about, as i’m trying to get my car shifted. I panicked…and that’s when i felt my stress rash! The rash of the DRAGON!

Infact one guy shouted ‘It’s about time something bad happened something to her!’

EWWWW!!!!!! I should’ve kicked him in his teeth, but i didn’t. I thanked him.

Yet, I did notice that NOT ONE MALE got out of their car to help push the Mercedes into a spot that was literally right next to me.

By this point i was still very smiley and PR’ey, yet ANNOYED, so i start running forward to the area where in which you can get your car valeted whilst you shop. I don’t know the guys, but they have valeted my car before, so i kinda know them. And before i’m half way there, I notice that he’s already RUNNING DOWN to save me…he gets to me..and he’s skinny, young, polite and polish and says ‘Don’t worry, i’ll help you lovely, i’m already here.

He runs straight up to my car with a friend who also works with him and begins instructing me, as they start pushing my car out the way.

Now everyone’s feeling like a tool, as they’re so lovely and i’m being ever so grateful to them…so everyone is now crawling out from under the woodworks to save me.

By the end of it, there were  men pushing my car…ALL THE WAY DOWN to the valeting area and helping me steer, as i wasn’t strong enough to turn my wheel. AWWW!

At one point they had to push me back, as i missed the ‘turn now’ spot and in that moment i looked through my windscreen and saw the two polish guys, two men who grey haired men who looked like they were fifty seven and a lady…pushing me backwards..and it restored all my faith in humanity, because out of all that bunch of sweary, shouty folk, these were the troopers who were kind. AND YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE KIND.

Anyway, we get to a spot and i overly thank everyone. They all disperse, but the two polish guys stop to help me further, sort out my car and try to mend it.

‘You’ve got nothing to worry about, so don’t stress, we just need to fill up you’re coolant and oil up etc….and you’ll be fine.’

I love men that utter the words ‘don’t worry, i’ve got this for you.’

Anyway, they did and it all leaked out the bottom on my car. HURRAH!

Then i had everything to stress about, so i did the first thing that anyone would do and that was write about it all on Facebook Lol…and then call my Mum.

I let the boys get back to work and i ventured off for a while, until my Mum could meet me two hours later and so the AA could come and fix my car.

I had my nails taken off and a KFC Zinger burger. I had a stress eat. LOL

My mum arrived at around 3pm. We called the AA and then i went back to visit the two polish boys, who had gone out of their way to help me…as they had been working all day, valeting everyone’s cars. I didn’t have time to get anything or anything nice for them…and I always do, as my manners are on point. So instead i slowly walked up…and I *paused* them both, handed them some dosh and said,

‘This is just as a thank you, for helping me, i really appreciate it. You don’t know how much it meant to me.

Straight away, the main guy was all,

‘Nooooooooo, i can’t accept that. We didn’t do anything and we definitely didn’t do it FOR anything. I see you all the time and just knew you needed help…so…’

‘Well, i’m just gonna go leave it over here…’ (By this point, i’ve taken over their stand, in my fur boots, diamantes and forcing them to recieve kind gestures from me for being lovely.’ Lol And then i merrily walk off, to wait for the AA with my mum.)

The polish guy, grabs it and runs after me…

‘Nooooooo honestly, i just can’t accept that…I just..’

Then my Mum chirps in with a,


No one messes with my Mother. Lol.

And in that moment, the guy just looked me in the eye, with this gentle, super grateful eye smile, with his dosh gift in his hand…and said,

‘Well…thank you so much, it…’

‘It’s fine. 🙂 ‘

It was weird because he LOOKED so grateful yet, HE WAS THE ONE that did the helping me?

Anyway, I got back in my car and waited for the AA man.

He came, he couldn’t fix stuff as everything was too broken. He kept pulling things out of the bonnet…a band, a donkey, a pretty boy from 2014. Lol. All sorts! So it had to get towed…and again sweet guy, he knew that my power steering had gone and that i was far too weedy to drive the vehicle, so he started it up and drove it all the way back to his van and towed it off to a ‘fixer upper’ in Ackworth…as i got a lift home.


My Mum looked at me today and said, ‘Y’know, what i love about you, you’ve been through so much in life, but you’re still so filled with love… as you would say, that’s some good going girl’ and smiles at me like she couldn’t be any more proud. 🙂 🙂

Life is bliss once more. I mean thank God for all the people who helped me today and thank god for my Mother. (I have the best Mum ever and she’s taught me how to be a great Mum because of it.) I might have a stress rash, but i’m pretty lucky afterall and i feel good for thanking that guy! He looked overwhelmed and i love that!

I’m lucky to be noticing more and more decent people around me. It makes me happy.

This incident reminded me of that time in LA when i broke down, on my way to a club, dressed like a stripper, at night on Laurel canyon…and this guy named Kevin Brown, who i worked with came to help me, after i posted it on Myspace. He didn’t have to do that, but he did…and he says he did it because when he first arrived in LA, he was stone broke, but had his pride and never moaned about it to anyone. As in LA, it’s all about ‘the show’ of who you are, rather than ‘who you actually are.’ He once asked (and it took him A LOT OF BALLS) to borrow $4 dollars to buy lunch (we worked together at Crunch Gym and he was starving) and i gave him $20. But only because that was all i had on me. I didn’t think anything of it, really. I just sort of said, ‘Have it. Keep it. I’m not bothered.’

But it meant so much to him because that $20 apparently lasted him a good while until payday. And yeah, he’s a good guy and would naturally help anyone, but that’s why on that night…he got himself out of bed, trundled out in the rain and came to my rescue. I mean GOD i even took him to the club that night to hang out with all my friends and get Hollywood PISSED! Lol.

Whats goes around definitely comes around…..

Try your hardest to be thoughtful. It’s the smallest things that make the biggest difference….











Work, Style, Love & Pudding


Life is great! I’m feeling lucky. I’m feeling sexy. I’m feeling like Autumn is peeking it’s darling little head around the corner and i’m embracing it. I haven’t been able to blog as much, as my mind is busy with work. By the time i get home and i’ve sorted being Mama (which i adore), i’m shattered and just need to kip before i find my alarm beeping a ‘wake up’ at me and there I am, sat at my desk with a smile.

Friday at work was actually great as it was filled with doing the job, and banter. I learnt that ‘The Mighty’ likes to win at wooing and has a ‘help at hand’ human for everything. Meaning if you have a bad neck, can’t quit a habit, need extra confidence, a life, can’t sleep, a number to a florist, a wooden leg…literally anything, she knows someone you can call to go get that issue sorted. I think we’re all lined up for hypnotherapy for something? Lol.  It made me laugh as whilst she was telling us a story about a friend, the result of that conversation was ‘Honey you’re going to need a lot more than Reiki to sort you out.’ Lol.

I also learnt that the new addition, I’ll call him ‘Styley B’ (the most stylish male you will ever meet in your entire life, with the whitest of teeth, and tanniest of tans’ has twice in his life PUSHED A PRAM with 2 of (his twelve) chihuahuas in it, around North Leeds….with is wife. The only comment, after extreme laughter that was made, was ‘Wow you’re wife must be ridiculously hot.’ I mean, she’d have to be, in order for them to be able to style it out and get away with it. AND THEY DO! Very Hollywood of them…in Yorkshire, I infact LOVE IT! He laughed along and then sauntered off with is pearly whites. I think my ‘Chrissie Wunna’ persona would be one that mirrors a mini  ‘dog in a pram.’ Yet the real me just gets bacon sandwiches from Greggs every morning,

‘How do you have 12 chihuahuas in an apartment???’

‘Well….It’s not a NORMAL apartment.”

(He was late to work because his ‘electric gates’ which i’m positive was code for something else, didn’t work Lol. Note, ‘Styley B’is not a force to be reckoned with, as when it comes to his line of work, he smashes it…nationally.)

‘Fairytale Blond’ had a word with her Prince and everything went super swimmingly. So she had a smile on her little innocent fairytale face, which made my sassy witch face smile… as much as it can after botox. I loved it. I guess she’s really cuddly and expressive, and he’s more…i can’t describe it? But he plays his emotions closer to his chest and didn’t realize that he’d need to be more expressive. I’m an expressive girl so i get it. I mean, love to hear that a guy i adore, adores me right back. It secures us up a bit more, doesn’t it. but yes, just like that, ‘Fairytale Blond’ sorted it, emotions n’all. 🙂

Friday was great because i had a lot of work on, big bits, little bits, all bits to conquer, but i managed to chitter chatter with colleagues, exam passers AND with ‘Eton Mess’ more than usual, which made me really happy. I like this one. He’s literally everything that i could imagine as being great. I’d gallop through life with that dude, with no drama.  He works hard, he makes me laugh, he’s handsome, he’s a good father, he’s smart…he’s affectionate…I could go on. I’m still single, don’t get me wrong…yet it’s just refreshing to know that i’ve crossed paths with an amazing human. He’s actually ace! He’s funny…i like that, as he’s dripped in wit…yet like i said, his soul is good…there’s just something about this guy. I like him…and it’s all been pretty gradual. But knowing me and my love life…bad stuf happens always. However, i play the keen positive. So, in the end i’ll get there. Lol. But ‘Eton Mess’ is a good human, regardless of the outcome. Lol. I mean, out of all the guys that tap up my inbox, he was literally the ONLY ONE that i spoke to and the only one who was decent and funny and with out being utterly weird. I properly properly fancy. He’s like my perfect guy.

(Before you all get tizzed up, i am very flattered by the other messages that i’m receiving from you all that simply state lovely things. I read them all, even though i don’t reply. But the weird ones, really do twist my mind with ‘oh lord there are no good men left on this Earth’ syndrome. For example, a reply to one would be ‘I don’t want a belly button fight.’ UGH! Who raised you?)

I’m happy and always a happy singleton. You’ve just got to embrace what life offers up, yet strive for the things that you want, that make you smile. But i am looking and ready for love now. I’m wanting to settle down. I’m old. I mean I’ve torn my GODDAMN calf today simply from going from a sitting position to a standing position in seconds. Lol., Thats some old ass shit, there. Lol. I might as well start pulling my pension out and going to tea mornings at the village church in beige and a purple rinse. Victoria tried to comfort me by telling me that it gets worse! Lol. Cheers! Then kindly offered to give me a SECOND HAND WHEELCHAIR. Lol. If i had a wheelchair, it would be first hand and blinged OUT! I don’t want some other persons, ‘wheel around’ that they’ve sat in for months, some ‘wheel around’ that they’ve laughed, cried and trumped in.

I’ve loved and spent the entire day with the babies today and they loved it. I loved it. It’s my favourite part of life being Mum. We were so great today and joined by my folks….they were the happiest they could ever be, and yeah i was tired from work and all sorts, and i have a lot of other entertainmenty stuff going on…but it was worth it, just to see them smile. I love being Mum. It’s something you appreciate later on in life…or if you’re busy. Those moments that you have, mean so much more.

I need to get back on my teeth whitening as i haven’t been doing it properly. I just haven’t found the time and when i’ve been putting the babies to sleep i’ve been passing out with them and forgetting to do my teeth!

I need to get back on it, starting from tonight.

I wish i could tell you all about my rapport with McC but i can’t as like i said before, she’s too funny and we’re too inappropriate. BUT she did have the hump because she had to spend a fiver on a market stall crab. Lol. And i didn’t hear THE END OF IT…

‘Where’s my goddamn change?? As if that was a fiver! I can’t even get a diet coke now.’ LOL

I’m up late right now, simply because i don’t have work in the morning, so i make it my mission to stay up, on my tod and enjoy peace at home. Lol.

I really fancy ‘Eton Mess,’ and i don’t even mean it in a ‘little bit’ way, that’s frilly and not real. Like, i really think this guy is amazing….and i did anyway before i met him…but when i did meet him, he was even more amazing that i thought he would be….That never happens. 

How strange? And all because he liked my pudding? I think i’m in shock? Like he’s so much better than anybody I have met in years. Like we get along really well…yet there’s a sexiness to it… I find him sexy.

Wouldn’t it be hilarious now, if he was sat at home thinking, ‘FFS! That Chrissie chick’s sent me another fucking message…I just can’t be arsed!!’ HAHAHA 🙂

But yes, i think when you’re emotionally young and you date, you get all stressy over the little things. Yet when you feel good, you’re happy and fancy yourself a bit, y’know feel comfy in your own world and you’re in your mid thirties with work and a family, you kinda just do the happy ‘Are we gonna do this or not, as we’ve busy and we’ve got shit to do?/ Good! Sorted! I’m yours!’ Lol.









Doing Life


I’ve been busy. I’m happy. Really happy. Content in my own little world and bubble, yet just focusing on work and getting things right, I will say that i’ve been hot and bothered and gosh, isn’t it so much harder to focus when you’re feeling all sweaty and glowly. It sort of makes you feel trapped in heat. I find it much harder to focus when there isn’t a *breeze* to chill me out. But yes, i’ve been busy. I’m driven. I work hard. I’m ambitious. I wouldn’t mind chilling all day, being a lady of leisure, yet life hasn’t gifted me with such a treat. Lol. I’m a single mum and that makes me a provider for two. There’s just Me and a family. And to be fair, i kinda find it sexy to make money and work hard. I’m not a stressy kinda girl. I’ll have fun with it and we always have good times at the office.

How do I skim it?

I made the world right with ‘Fairytale blond’ on a bench. Now, we’re both great, both different, yet quite similiar, as our views on how things should be, are the same. We both like the idea of love and good love etiquette, she’s a great deal more of a worrier than I am. Whereas i’ll just enjoy whatever life throws at me with a *shrug* and bat it out the ball park, as you can’t control what happens really, no matter how much you want to and i’m not controlling by any means,  as i just think you have to let life live and embrace it with your fingers crossed. However, like ‘fairytale blond, I am one to feel comfort with stability, trust and loyalty. I don’t like to not know what’s going on…i’m emotionally organized. I like to ‘black or white’ things, as i hate the *haze* of anything. I try to be patient, but i’m not patient. Lol. I’m a fire sign. I’m all go!

I’ve belly laughed at ‘McC’ and her inappropriateness. (I can never tell you about my rapport with McC as it’s far too hilariously wrong, and you have to be of our nature, in order to find it funny. But she absolutely cracks me up with wit. I treated her, by messing her OCD drawer up, on her day off…and made fun of people in her honour. But again…i just can’t repeat it. Lol. She has a ‘plain envelopes’ insert. Hahaha. Not Dull at all! Hahahahahahaha.)

I’ve watched ‘The Mighty be all hot and bothered, as she grows humans. I’m addicted to her love life as it’s so perfect that it’s delicious. It’s all flowers and surprise dinners…and it just makes me smile to know that she is so loved and so cared for, as you don’t see it as much these days. She has a sassy exterior, yet she’s so thoughtful underneath it all…and that’s what makes me happy, knowing that she deserves it.

We all  kinda skimmed the art of ‘confidence’ today and how some people have it and some people don’t. I’m confident by nature and i don’t mean in a ‘oooh, i think i’m so hot’ kinda way. I mean it in a ‘i’m dead comfy in my own skin’ kinda way. I love what i say, stand for and believe in. I like the way i look, the way i am and the bits and pieces that make me Me. And when a girl is confident she *GLOWS.* You can spot it a mile off. It makes her attractive. I’m not needy. I’m independant. I’ll have a moan from time to time, but i know how lucky i am. 🙂 I’m positive, strong and filled with a humour that can tango me through life always. The ups the downs…i’m cool with it. 🙂 I have a great life and i believe that things are always just about how you feel and not about how you think. You can over think things…and for no reason. Life, love, enjoy!

However, i will say that my Facebook inbox is a shit. Now, i don’t mean the people that I know, who are lovely and normal. But God, i feel like there are guys living a completely cuckoo life of pretending i’m their girlfriend. Guys who i do not even know? Who I have never ever met? Who are kinda suffocating me, with nagginess. I never reply, if i don’t know someone. I don’t have time for that, as i’m busy. If i fancy you…i will. That hardly ever happens. Like i’ve said, i haven’t really been talking to anyone…accept ‘Eton Mess.’ AND I’M REALLY BUSY (if i can remind you) with work and being Mum and all sorts. But there’s this guy that will literally constantly write to me hundreds of times a day and comment on every pic like i’m his chick…and i’ve never ever once spoken to him once in my life. I find that odd. It distorts my view on attraction, lust and love…and how men may view me. I think it’s just because i would never do that. Like i’d never say all that and do all that on someone else’s profile, if i didn’t at all know them, at all. Lol. Like a compliment is lovely. And i’m always flattered. So don’t think i’m ungrateful. I must just need a rant. Yet, there’s taking it too far and then some and not een doing it with humour, or wit.  Lol I was hot and bothered today…so it annoyed me. Rant over.

I think my inbox is annoying because it feel so ‘flingy.’ Like it’s filled with guys who are just tapping on my door for a bit of a fling and i’m not that girl. I might look like that girl. But i’m just not. I mean Jesus, i’m thirty five years old with two babies,  i’m a love bunny, even though i’m sassy. I’m NOT LOOKING FOR A FLING or a bit of ‘dilly doo daa.’ Why would i bother?  I want to find the man of my entire goddam dreams. Lol. Y’know, someone who takes love (with me) seriously…and not frivolously….yet still has a giggle, and fun with it. You are tapping on the wrong door, if you think that i don’t take matters of the heart and togetherness with honour, respect and love.

Someone said something smart today and it was just the fact that isn’t it weird how, when it comes to love or dating a guy or girl you fancy these days, (who you know ofcourse…or have certainly met.) Isn’t it weird how they daren’t  just pick up the phone, ring you and say ‘Hi.’ Or ‘hey, i’ve thinking about you. I wanna take you out.’ It’s weird that isn’t it? Like why is that scary? I find it scary so i’m not being one sided. I’d be too shy to and i’m ballsy. But yeah, I’d be so shocked if a guy that i liked just called me out the blue and went for it. I’d oddly be impressed at the amount of balls he had…when really that’s just a very normal way to communicate. Lol. It shouldn’t be impressive. Maybe because i’d feel a bit too shy to do it, in case i got rejected…and that’s coming from a super confident girl. So heaven knows how you’d feel if you’re timid by nature. It must be hard being a guy, as they have to kinda ‘man up’ and go for it, without knowing a solid outcome.

Anyway, away from all that…I’ve spent the most AMAZING evening with my babies tonight. Awww, i can’t even tell you how great Mummyhood felt. Just pulling up onto my drive after work and seeing Junior jumping up and down at the window with this utter ‘Mummy’s home’ excitement, made me feel super adored. It was ace. Then having Ruby, with her sassiness and strut, giggle with me about boys and life, just made my world complete. I was literally just lost in this happy swirl of love and family life.  My babies, even through the stuff Mummy times, just mean the world to me. And God they don’t listen to me at all, or do anything i tell them too…but we’re all really close….and that’s what makes it special. I’m a fun, yet lovey, dovey mama. But there’s huffs, humour and sassiness added with it. Tonight was a great night. I had a sense of purpose.

Can you even believe it’s September? The year will now fly. I’m chipper. I’m lucky. I’m looking for my Knight in shining armour. I miss my guy bestie Brandon. I’m looking forward to a payday. I’m tired of nonsense inbox boys. I’m grateful for everything that I have in life. If you’re on this blog and reading it all, i send you my love, may the world keep you safe and lucky. I’m super happy it’s almost the weekend and i want to a giant cuddle.

I’m off to go teeth white-ten, to make Hatfield Dental proud. My botox has been great, but finding the time to whiten has been difficult. I WILL complete it though. I’m soldier like that.

Do please notice when you’re happy and do please embrace new chapters! Live it! Always! And don’t give two shits about what anyone else thinks! Feel…love….enjoy!









Life, Love & Louboutins


Hi! I’ve finally found time to blog in what feels like ages. I can’t even being to tell you everything, but i will say that my day began with a school run. Now, I always attempt to drop Ruby off early, as the Ackworth school run, gets jammed packed in the morning and i try to avoid what I call the white ‘Range Rover’ express. (There’s a point in the morning where in which feels as though every Ackworth school Mum has a white Range Rover, and they all lined up in a ‘jam packed’ fashion, like some kind of glizty Mum train. You get wedged in that train if you don’t get there early.)

Anyway, this morning was particularly ace, as I didn’t get wedged in anything..and i hate the art of wedging. It doesn’t make me feel free. Rushed out the car, got Ruby out the car to walk her in. Saw a panicked, on the way ‘maybe late’ to work Mum, who sort of opened her car door and a whole bunch of Louboutin’s fell out, before her child. Lol. She just looked up at me, in her pencil skirt, all worried, until I smiled and gave her that ‘i get it’ eye glint. And from that moment we were buds. After the ‘walk in’ i saw her on my back to the car and all she said (with laughter) was, ‘Now i’ll have to buy more.’ Lol. I just giggled, dressed in ‘New Look’ and then zoomed off to work, so I didn’t miss the Greggs run, as I never want to begin my day without a coffee or a sausage something. (That sounds rude! 😉 ) Greggs are always trying to convince me to ‘get the app’ but Jesus that’s a bit far. I’m struggling to hold up my ‘glamour puss’ persona as it is, without a fucking app that gives me my sixth sausage roll for free.

Life is busy but good. I have a lot on, but i’m wanting to find time for lurve. Work is busy, in the sense of there is lots to be ‘getting on with’ and today we celebrated the day by being systems down, which was super dooper frustrating, (especially when you have deadlines) then it turned into the warmest day on the planet. ‘The Mighty’ who is growing humans was fanning herself, (I offered to carry her meat,) McC was whopping out ‘sass,’ and being OCD by doughnuts, I laughed, worked hard, hit a deadline, sat across from ‘Fairytale Blond’ who i adore and listened to her love life tale. (She’s currently receiving a special kind of ‘silent treatment’ from her Prince, because he’s in a mood. ‘What? I was just drunk? Why can’t he find it funny???’ The good thing about this, is that usually during this phase she would panic. I missed it, but there were tears last time. However today, there was this sense of confidence and power about her. I watched her, shrug things off with a hair toss because she knew that she on safe ground, as she hadn’t done much wrong, yet wasn’t going to entangle herself with the other beings art of ‘mountains out of molehills, ‘ because she was busy. AND I LIKE THAT!

Like for me, as a girlfriend..and i’m single right now…I’m quite laid back. I’m not naggy and i don’t waste time rambling on negatively about things that don’t matter. I’m emotionally grown…with boobs. 🙂 So i hate it when boys ‘Queeny’ up. Infact, it’s kinda annoying when girls do it too. ‘McC’ (who’s ace) did tell me that she was hardcore on her hubby when it came to him being a ‘Drunky MStrunky.’ Lol. (Kinda made me wee myself a little.) Yet, i’m the opposite way. If i was out with a guy and he was being drunk..i’d just find it funny. Lol. Like it really wouldn’t bother me. Basically what i’m saying is that he wouldn’t get the ‘silent treatment.’ Nothing is worse to me than that treatment, as i’m by nature an expressive chickadee, so i enjoy to chat things out and tell everybody how i feel about all sorts. Lol. I have no fear in that department. I’m a really direct person and i like expressive boys. It shows me they’re not scared to be or feel who they are.

We’ve had a humid and stormy evening. Yet it’s kinda been good as it’s graduating us away from Summer and into our next season. New chapters! I love Autumn, even though the year zooms by from now on. And at the beginning of the year, i went through so many changes. Left a guy, began at a new work place…all sorts. I entered my own Chapters New and now i’m feeling on top of the world. I’m in a really good place emotionally and i feel completely warm and ALIVE.

On the guy front…I fancy ‘Eton Mess.’ We’re chatting, so our life paths are meandering around each other. Kinda like a dance …but sexier. I am impressed by this guy and i think I just understand him. We did our date, we quite easily got along and smashed bases. Yeah…I like this one. His spooning technique is on point. He’s playful, hard working and fun….but loving. He might need time. I’m not sure what’s going on…I mean, I know that he’s attracted to me, but i don’t know much else? Yet, right now, i’m happy with it all. I’m positive…regardless. I sort of see myself as lucky to know him…I’d be with this guy. He makes me laugh. 🙂 And what is life if you’re not having a chuckle and feeling whole along the way.

That’s what I loved about ‘Fairytale blond’ today, she felt confident and found herself funny. Like i always say, when a guy likes you, or wants to make you his, or wants to say sorry, or anything of that nature, he’ll make sure you know and if he doesn’t, well there’s nothing you can do about it. Lol. You just have to laugh it off.

Anyway, i’m off…I can’t believe we’re in the middle of September already!






But a second hand emotion….

ac17 - Copy (2)

I don’t even know what’s up with me, but i’m feeling on top of the world. I’m all bubbled with this positive *ooh* ness….and dancing in mirrors with pouts, to tunes from the 90’s, as my babies gallop around me and lip sync along like we’re some kind of failed pop band. I even woke up this morning, IMMEDIATELY grabbed my phone to use the ‘selfie’ mode as a mirror ;)…lol…just to check my teeth, (remember that i’m going through a whitening process that specialist Afsar Hussain at Hatfield Dental has put me on…i still have another week and a half of it, as i’ve been super busy…so i’m on a bit of a delay.) I had no face on, was half naked…with a white quilt appropriately draped across me, at six o clock in the morning and I didn’t even think i looked bad. I thought i looked good! AS IF! What is even happening? I’m just trampoline bouncing, on the spot, in a happy place, where in which i feel really lucky, really positive and emotionally balanced within the world….in eyelashes and boobies. Hurrah!

I’m still single and i’m feeling great! I’m warm, but super independent by nature. I can do togetherness and ‘my own thing’ with ease, without being naggy. It’s mainly because i’m used to it. I’ve been single and worldly long enough enjoy me, myself and I and also in plenty of loving and ‘not quite right’ relationships to get what togetherness is all about.  In my mind, until you have the exact right connection, (and ladies you will know where you stand because guys are pretty good at making it clear via both words and actions…or no words or actions lol,) then you’re wasting your time and in that time you just need to get comfy with yourself and cheer up. He’ll find you and come get you. If a guy likes you, he will not be so stupid as to lose you to some other dude with a quiff. Lol.

I see so many happy couples (like Vicky and Guy…Happy Birthday Victoria, they found each other late in life and are about to get married. Same with Emily & Mark..they did an online Yorkshire/Bermuda relationship for ages, each randomly flew to New York to go on their first date and have been happy ever since.)

But at the same time, and almost more of….so many stressed out chicks, who stress out over, what i see…as nothing. And so many dudes who feel all trapped in the ‘doo daa’ that they’ve chosen to be in. That’s not what love is about…and i’m only rambling on about this because I had one of my close LA guy friends message me yesterday with an ….‘I’m super sad.‘ (I’m am the chick all my guy friends and exes come to for chick advice, because i’m not doo..lally…most days 😉 .)

Now, i’m not going to tell you all about it, but i will say that he’s trapped in a shitty relationship, where in which love is chilling and has taken a back seat and control, mistrust and arguing has decided to shimmie on forward. YIPPEE! To the point where there is no love left..not even a drizzle of ‘yeah baby.’ When that happens…and you don’t have rum…you are doomed. Bottom line, he’s been offered a work opportunity in LA, which is away from where his partner is, yet when i say opportunity….(and LA is where we all grew up, …he is American by the way… so it’s kinda like home) it’s his own TV show opportunity, that he has aspired and work towards his whole entire life. Like this would be his dream come true. Got it? Good! Yet Instead of cheerleading him forward, (as that’s a wacky concept) his chick has turned completely bonkers, she doesn’t want him to take part in his ‘dream come true’ job lol,  she’s emailed his manager & employer a letter, stating how disgusting they are for employing him, because he will have to move away from her, for a bit and basically tried to ruin it. Hahah. (Like, i guess that is okay….like…NEVER! THAT IS NEVER OKAY! LOL!!)  She has fully committed to going down route crazy balls (haha, sorry i shouldn’t laugh, it’s a really stressful time for him lol) …and although i am quite partial to dedication…and Route ‘crazy balls’ is definitely fun if you enjoy a bit of drama… But it’s not like it would’ve been forever. Infact, if she didn’t go nuts, he would’ve just been going to LA to film it, before returning. Now, because of her nuttiness…he’s about to run off, do the show and never ever return. It’s done. He’s not super sad for leaving or the breakup, he’s super sad because he’s still stuck there until he gets to go to LA. Lol.  (Do know that i would never refer to any human as crazy unless i have seen substantial proof of utter irrational nuttiness and i’m the most open minded human on the planet.)

Now i’m a pretty good person to ask about things of this nature, as i’m a ‘you don’t mess with peoples dreams. ambition and careers’ kind of girl, it’s not fair to ‘ultimatum’ people, so i’ll see it from the girl and guys point of view and although warm, i’m honest and positive about the future.  PLUS,  my LA guy friends will come to me for advice on this, as when i was with Mike and he had nothing but a dream….he auditioned for everything, all day, everyday and finally got his break….He was ambitious and wanted to do well…and was an actor. Successful actors are away for ages. They could be flying to another state or country for weeks or months if they’ve booked a movie. It’s normal, it’s part of the job. It’s like with anybody in entertainment. And during that time, instead of being selfish, i supported him all the way with excitement…I was excited for him, it never really bothered me, as i wanted him to do well and i knew how much it meant to him…which showed LOVE and because he felt that he had a stable home life, that guy who couldn’t afford Burger King, with a headshot in his hand, at audition number 702…ended up feeling like he could conquer anything…and did. Three years ago he filmed a movie with Tom Cruise, he’s been on every tv show ever and has lots in his pipeline, with dollars in his bank. Now he could buy a million double whoopers. Lol.

And i don’t say it to sound one sided, as the LA guy friend who asked my advice is close to me. But people don’t ask for my advice unless they want a laugh, a power pep talk, positive honesty or to hand hold them through the tunnel into their next chapter, because they have already made up their mind.  PLUS, I have LEFT men, who have been negative in regards to support of any success that I may have had or want to have. Y’know what I mean, the ones that try to *squish* it, so that you won’t do well, out of their own insecurity, because if you do well, you might run off and leave them. Whereas it’s more, if they were confident, supportive and trusting…then they would now be building an empire with me. But hearts heal so much faster then they break. Break ups draaaaag. New love is quick and inspiring.

Anyway, he’s voted himself off the island and headed for pastures…Hollywood. Lol. And I don’t one bit blame him. He hasn’t done it yet…but he’s about to. ‘I’ll just leave her a letter that she can contemplate.’ (Oh Lord.) They’re not bad people, they just no longer understand each other…and once he hits LA, he’ll easily meet a completely different girl, with utterly different views, who understands his ambition, the nature of his work and more than anything…him. It happens all the time. I mean, i did tell him that it wasn’t going to be easy, as when you’re with someone that…how do we put it…’passionate’ lol…you better strap in, as that rollercoaster of ‘bye bitch bye’ isn’t going to be fun. He just laughed and said that he was good at getting away from things. Hahaha.

I guess guys need to achieve their goals, yet be more loving along the way, so their chicks know how much they mean to them. And girls need to be less controlling and have more faith in ourselves and our men. Love doesn’t have to be roses and chocolates, as it seems support, trust, loyalty and positive blessings go much further. And even though i’m girly, i’m quite ambitious and masucline when it comes to work, i’m a workaholic, i enjoy to make money, so i can see both sides of the coin .

Away from that, the BOTOX that i had done at Hatfield Dental has been AMAZING!!! It worked right away, first time and now i can’t frown. No wrinkles, nothing. I did feel my muscles paralyzing and it was odd. Yet now i’m used to it, it is quite frankly a remedy sent from the good Lord himself. So now i know, when i’m super old, BOTOX is the answer. Honestly, I swear, it is a miracle. I have never been more amazed in my life, aside from that time i actually woke up with a traffic cone parcel taped to my head. I was impressed and amazed that morning for sure. Lol. I’m surprised i even Goddamn woke up.

I have lots going on right now. The babies, work, Leeds Lifestyle Awards, Made in Leeds, a photoshoot and my NSPCC Tshirt campaign that i’m going to tell you about in my next blog. So get your piggy banks out and get ready to feel charitable. Nothing is going on in my love life….no one fancies me….

(Wait Keiran’s calling and he has Junior…one sec…)

I’m back, it was just about the dentist.

I’m feeling super chipper, super sexy, happy, but clumsy because i’m having to wear my glasses all day, as i forgot to order my contact lenses on time. I don’t know how anyone does anything in specs. They’re a nuisance. I’ve tripped up 40 times and got scared whilst driving everywhere. Such a girl. Lol. The last time i wore them, i was too busy looking at myself in a shop window that i tripped over a grate and fell on my face. A PROPER GOOBER. Lol. I’m a geek wrapped in tits. AND they keep falling down my nose. I don’t even look smarter. I walking around over cautiously like an absolute moron. Like the floor is about to open up and swallow me whole. 🙂

So I can dance……..


Lots going on! All great! All good! (I mean would’n’t have it in my life any other way.) But lots! My focus has been on work and Motherhood this week and it’s flying by. I’m witnessing sooo many of the new chapters of others and i’m enjoying it. There are a lot of others things dancing in Wunna Land also….along with work and Mummyhood, I have the Leeds Lifestyle Awards coming up next month, other glitzy opportunities, if i so chose to take them and well with that i’ve been designing a charity tshirt for the NSPCC (a cause really close to my heart) and feeling every inch filled with warmth as I do it. (I’m a thoughtful human by nature. I’m not lame with it though, as i’m witty and bouncing with inappropriate humour and sass. Yet, I adore giving and helping people see the light at the end of the tunnel, so it kinda makes me feel both happy and purposeful. Like i said before, I enjoy to help others, as i’ve experienced a rather colourful life and there have been some big times where in which I have I’ve sat there puzzled hoping that a ‘hero’ would save my sorry ass. It never happened so i kinda became my own hero. But i’m glad, because now…i’d never let anyone around me suffer. *Wiggle wink.*) Life is great right now and i am SO FLIPPING GRATEFUL for it.

So, i’m gonna skim things…There’s been skinny pinnies, boys teaching ‘Fairyatle blonds’ how to make bread, a Pepperami Bromance, which is oddly quite stylish, (I love seeing boys go through a ‘bromance.’ There’s been surprise ‘what’s in my belly’ talk with ‘The Mighty,’ laughter, sarcasm, hard work, trips to Rome, old faces, new times, stress, love, good deeds, (I actually did a good deed for ‘Eton Mess, the other day) parking tickets, sunshine, rain, first days of school, psychic readings, baby cuddles, thoughtfulness, ‘happy ending’ chat comedy and a whole lot of life in general.I couldn’t even begin to tell you about it all in depth.

I’m happy, but i’m not sleeping. I can’t sleep as I wrongly refuse to let my mind relax. It’s awful. I’m feeling ambitious. I’ve danced. I have hardcore goals that i kinda want to ‘tick box,’ I have had discussions with ‘fairytale’ blonds about why boys are testosteroney and find it scary to commit? It’s not that hard! (I love ‘Fairytale blond’ because she’s so idealistic about love, hence her title.) I’ve drank…merrily and even though there are times where i let stress get the better of me, i am always able to chop, change and find the positive. That’s why my life works for me.

Time is flying by so fast! The week. The year! It’s zooming.

I know so many people going through such exciting times and that makes me happy, (my own life is exciting right now) and as a counter balance i know so many going through really stressy times.  But stress is only temporary. One day everyone wakes up with that absolute brilliant feeling where they suddenly realize that they are no longer sad over something that they never thought they could get over. Light. Tunnel. Live it.

Pete (Ruby’s Dad did something thoughtful the other day.) I had had a busy day at work and when you’re a single mum, you get home and you have soooooooooooooooooooo much to do and organize. It never stops and i have lots of help. But Pete took both babies to the park and made them tea at his, so i could have an hour to myself to recoup and get organized. It literally felt AMAZING. And i love that about my Baby Daddies (so to speak) as both Father’s will have both children, as we operate it as one big family. So like i always say, on paper it not necessarily Bible text book 🙂 (Just laughing at the time i got thrown out of a Zen garden in LA, ) yet it completely works and our entire co parenting family, partners and all….is simply phenomenal and it’s great because we concentrate on what matters and not the petty ‘doesn’t matter’ crap. To say that it appears that there’s a lot of separation…Ruby and Junior are actually the most loved and emotionally stable kids ever and because as a unit we’ve held it together with love and not just for them, but because we’re all emotionally grown and not idiots. Lol. AND the kids aren’t under any illusion,we don’t ‘fairytale’ it,  i’m a direct girl and i tell them things honestly. They know who’s who, what’s what and why.,,and they’re kinda pretty okay with it.

My life is great, but it’s not easy. Luckily, nothing phases me and i just find it easy to handle. I’m great under pressure and i’m great at juggling with a smile and a trophy in my hand. I’m a trooper and just have this ability to see the jollies in everything or understand people or situations. So many people have it lot a worse so if anything, i count myself lucky. EVERYDAY.

I’ve started my teeth whitening process, that I began with Hatfield dental. I haven’t had much time. But i had my impressions done and for the next two and a half weeks i’m meant to whiten each evening for four hours. I think i’ve only done four days so far. But i’m on a mission now, so give me a couple more weeks and they’ll be banging McSparkly.

I’m feeling really shattered today…but because i haven’t been sleeping well. But i will tonight. I can feel it.

I’m going to be an Ambassador for the NSPCC. I know…can you even believe it. Me neither. So, i’m going to being my stance with Mystand4 where in which i will…well i am….designing a charity tshirt to represent the NSPCC and Wunnaland in one, that you can all purchase to help the hearts of others…and i really hope you do, as it means so much to me.

I think it launches tomorrow. But i’m waiting for pictures etc…

On the love life front…not much is going on…I still fancy ‘Eton Mess’ and that’s about that.

The kids great. I’m great. Work is good and so is wine. 😉

Hope you’ve had an awesome day and thank you for following my life. x

ps/ This guy who i’m ignoring keeps messaging me and showing me pictures of his belly button, like it’s sexual. It’s worse than a dick pic. lol. Don’t be a weirdo. I don’t have time for that. Lol. In the words of my old LA roommate Justin, and in your best American accent…’Some Dudes just need to go back to romance camp.’  (I remember him once shouting at a guy…and he never shouts, we were besties, we worked in the same place and we lived together,  and hung out together, but he yelled at a guy for being a tool…

‘Dude! She is NEVER GOING TO LIKE YOU unless you step up and quit being a douche. I live with the girl, she’s like the fucking Queen of romance…and you think that she’s gonna kick it with a faded piece of shit like you…there are dudes lining up to date Miss.Fucking Glamour Puss and she’ll still go for the kindest. You need to get yourself back to ROMANCE CAMP dude.’ HAHAHA.

(Hope you said all that in your American Accent.)

Anyway…i won’t always go for the kindest now i’m old. I’m far more shallow now. 🙂 I like eye candy…but who doesn’t! 😉 I mean GOD, my acest friend ‘McC ‘will even tell you, there is a Wunna ‘tick list’ and it includes a fucking helicopter. HAHAHA.)