Month: June 2016

I’m feeling great! I’ve an AWESOME day. (I’m still laughing out loud.) And please do note that my ‘awesome’ day has nothing to do with the fact that I watched a grown man puke in his own hands, received a marriage proposal from from a hip/hop Indian gangsta, listened to the best driving tunes ever, bumped into three of my favourite people within seconds of them doing life, one after the other and let a toothless males, in a non matching tracksuit say ”ere, you’re beautiful you,’ then point at the chick behind me…say…’not you…’ and with a gummy smile revert back to me and say ‘yeah you.’ I’m such a gent magnet. I can’t even help it. Not to be pinickety or anything, but i do prefer men with teeth. I don’t know why? But I just do. AND it really does help, if you choose to wear a tracksuit, a chain and a baseball cap, that it all matches. That I can’t get passed. The absence of teeth…maybe.

I’ve had good banter today. Tony…my good guy friend. We get on like a house on fire. We both usually have rubbish love lives…his is not rubbish right now and it seems that he’s not even getting smacked in the face by every girl he meets, so there’s development there. What I enjoy about Tony is the simple fact that we chat about anything without judgment, he’s good fun, great company and a pretty decent guy, Not lame or wet with it. Just ace. (Even if he tries to diddle me out of money for a hot tub. Nice try.) He’s back from Ibiza and I assume that he’s loving life. I also like that his last name is ‘Fox.’ Don’t know why? I just like that. I’d like my last name to be ‘Fox,’ but kinda without having to marry him….ever. HAHAHA. Great guy. So funny. You can’t help but adore him.

Saying that, i’m feeling pretty chipper and all confident right now that I don’t reckon i’d ever get married again, Maybe it’s the Good Lord’s way of saying, ‘Hey, you’re just meant to be single in this lifetime and not take vows…EVER.’ I don’t mind that. I mean, I’m weeing myself about it now because I’m ever so *cringe,* but i remember when Keiran and I had separated and i was in that needy girl phase, where you don’t want to lose the guy, your husband, your entanglement, whatever situation you’re in and I had gone to the forest cabin with the babies. It was our wedding anniversary, my first one without having a husband and he showed up at the cabin. (This was years ago.) Anyway, we were in the hot tub…and I was doing the crying my eyes out thing, in the woods, in a flipping hot tub, seeing if we could patch it all up. *CRINGE.* He really didn’t want to deep down (poor sod) but tried to make me feel better, so went with it…HAHAH, And even though he agreed, we didn’t patch anything up. However, now time has passed, that moment is HILARIOUS to both of us. *CRINGE.* So I guess what i’m saying is that it’s amazing how time and how you’re feeling about yourself at a specific time…and how you develop from that time can change everything. We’re in a much better place now and co parent Junior like champions. Junior’s AMAZING, however, he is a genetic combination of Keiran and I…which makes him the most charming, most cheeky, most feisty when he’s aggravated three year old on the block. (But he’s totally a Mummy’s boy, which all us Mum’s ADORE!! Lol.) There’s a light hearted playfulness to Baby J and I adore it.  Ruby on the other hand is sassy and fun, yet with a dash of seriousness. She too gets that from me…which i love…and again…together they make my entire tragic world complete. ME! ME! ME! Lol. Yet Ruby’s tougher emotionally than Junior because when i first began single mummying it, there was only Her & I…and the world. She went through it ALL and felt it. Junior THANKFULLY has had it emotionally cushier. You just don’t mess with Ruby. She’s so smart and so strong…and only five years old.

What else?

Posh pork scratching sticks from Marks and Sparks are pretty good. The Spanish Doctor is saving lives and getting on with his own. My chick friend suggested that I actually looked through my Facebook inbox to give people a chance at getting to know me? Eww! Lol. I smiled and nodded and then didn’t. I can’t be bothered. I only skim it and if i notice someone who is potentially ‘ooh laa’ i’ll read the message and see. But it never goes anywhere…and weirdly i’m smiling? I swear i’m a tool. My inbox puts me off…I mean for example, one guy every day sends me a love heart gif of some sort, saying that he misses me, or loves me. Expressive..that’s fine. I never respond. Yet followed by each one is a picture of him blowing me a kiss, being posey on a couch, or naked selfie taking…with his goolies blurred out? HAHAHAHA. It’s put me off guys. Lol. I wish i could show you, yet my sense of loveliness, would never do that to him. I’m literally weeing myself but I don’t find it funny because i’m making fun OF him. I just find it funny, because it’s hilarious. I’m gonna start doing that to guys, yet with frightening pics, of me in a wedding dress.  It’s the equivalent. Lol. It’ll be wedding bells all over… My inbox would certainly slow down and be filled with fear.

I only want to get married in the future so i can have a hen do. 🙂 I think that’s a really good reason to enter marital bliss. Have a hen do, wear the dress…keep ya fingers crossed and hope that maybe’s he’s right?

Again, I believe the Good Lord is trying to teach me a lesson, by making me do it over and over again until i prove that I have learnt the lesson, the module, the whatever you want to call it on ‘forever lasting love.’ I’m obviously on page 1, and having to take resits, where as everyone else is on Page 98 and almost done.

I’m beaming today and i don’t know why? But it’s a good thing. Surely posh pork scratching and assorted mints haven’t made me THAT happy?

My good friend Rex, (Big Brother Rex) flew off to Poland today. he got really pissed with the guy that was meant to be going with him this morning. Yet, the guy in question got so blathered the evening before that no one could find him for his Poland flight? I have no clue if he made it, but…this is the THIRD planned holiday where in which Rex has had to go on his own. Lol. I need to holiday with him simply to make sure he has some sort of company.

I haven’t planned any holiday’s this year. I need to. Summer dating is always fun because the dates are all weekend sunny drinks, or ‘do you fancy going away for the weekend on holiday?’ Gives never commit in the Summer. There’s too much bikini selfie temptation. That’s why dating in LA is difficult for EVERYONE. Both genders. Lol. It’s always Winter time when people truly couple up. If you’re ‘Yorkshire,’ he’ll take you to the German Market. 🙂 If you’re ‘London,’ he’ll take you to Winter Wonderland. Lol. Yet it’s awful if you date me during the Winter months as it’s Christmas AND I have a December (week before Christmas) birthday. Great for me. 🙂 However, i have been made aware in the past that it is really rubbish for the guy, as it’s expensive and too much pressure. HAHAHA. I’m a really good gift ever. Super generous. Enjoy gift giving a lot. Yet i NEVER expect anything back. So it’s funny to know that it puts guys under pressure. It shouldn’t…technically if you are awesome, you should have it in the bag.

Anyway, i don’t have anything else to report, other than mojitos. I get asked all the time who I actually fancy and that’s ‘London Business Guy’ YET he doesn’t fully fancy me. Lol. He’s withdrawing… And ofcourse…that doesn’t make this too great on my side, does it? 🙂 🙂 Well done Me. 🙂

Big Kisses,

Wunna

Work is great! I’m feeling great! I’m in a good place right now, so my Monday to Friday is simply focused on that…and then being Mum…and I love it. They’re the things that matter to me and they make Monday to Friday utterly fulfilling. (I’ve cooked a giant ‘comforting’ Mexican dinner because it was raining, so i’m all smiles. Get on this vibe as it’s all fajitas, spicy rice and worth it. *Cue Mexican Hat dance.*

I’m sort of feeling empowered right now, after a couple months of being emotionally  lame. I mean, how much can one little glamour puss, rambling on about her tragic love life. I’m so snooze, i’m boring myself. So, no more. I’m all powerfully, sassy, illuminated with love and warmth as always, yet I’m not taking any nonsense. Yeah yeah, i’m kind hearted and lovely. Properly understanding and open minded.  bit of a tool at times, but definitely not an idiot nor am i broken. So, i’m tired of blubbering on about ‘love life’ this, ‘love life’ that. Lol.

I did have a pep talk today however. All it took was a…

‘Wunna…I just want to make sure that you’re not selling yourself short. You do that sometimes. If not all the time when it comes to matters of the heart and i get it, because you’re kind…but don’t. You’re Wunna…don’t forget that.’

I knew all this already, but i really do love hearing it. I’m not a girl that needs to be babied, and touch love, or pep talks work on me. I’m emotionally touch with winks and giggles…yet there’s something about a pep talk empowers me.

From that moment, things changed and I got out of the lame emotional passenger and strutted straight back into the DRIVERS SEAT.

Like is about TAKING CONTROL of your world and making it work for you so that you’re utterly fulfilled. Don’t get mixed up in other people’s drama or weaknesses. I mean God, I even mean that if you’re part of a couple. Sometimes if you’re not evenly balanced…you can take on their weakness and in a way it suffocates you if you’re not aligned and fills your world with a fog of stress and uncertainty.

Not me. Join me in the driver’s seat. It’s sexy. It’s powerful and it’s right.

I’m an all or nothing girl. I hate the ‘gray’ don’t I? I’m in or i’m out. I’m never in between. I’m also an ‘action’ girl. I’m a doer. I’m not a sitter arounder, i never feel sorry  for myself. I’m not a wimp and i’m a decision maker. And i’ll do what moves me forward provided i adore it wholeheartedly. I get on with it and i’m attracted to ‘get on with it’ people.

This is the driver’s seat. Any other seat means you’re a passenger.

So take control of your life, your work, your world, your emotions. Stand by your decisions, knowing that you are doing the right thing. Don’t be second best to yourself. You don’t have to be.

Live, love, smile and feel strong. You never know who you’re inspiring, remember that. Be tolerant, but don’t be stupid. Be kind, but not weak.

Eat Mexican food. It does something to you. 🙂

Then have a wine and can can to the merry sound of the best seat in town.

The Driver’s….

I just feel awesome.

So today I went on a very Wunna ‘by myself’ adventure and yeah whilst I was going on it and I was ‘umming and arring,’ and when i was there, I enjoyed it, it was okay and yeah I did ME. Then as my train pulled up to the train station after being on Southern soil, on a whole circle return to ‘northern.’ I had made it home…and I was totally in booty shorts and it was chucking it down with rain and I have no clue why, but I WAS BEAMING. And i felt really good because my adventure had nothing to do with any boy or anything to do with work, it was simply just a moment, a spontaneous moment of ‘doing life’ for ME, just ME and it felt AWESOME.

I honestly cannot tell you how good it made me feel. I felt so independant and free and like i had achieved life points for no reason. I sort of ran to my car, in booty shorts and UGG boots, with giant hair, through the rain, to my car giggling to myself and radiating this happy excitement for no reason and I was so happy that I couldn’t even help my smile. It made me laugh out loud, out of sheer, bizarre joy? It was amazing. Like a moment that i’d never forget and again I have no clue why?

Drove home with the tunes BANGING out loud, whilst I sang out loud (badly) but too them…and with my window zoomed all the way down…and it was RAINING. It was the happiest drive ever. My whole body was just buzzing with glee?

I mean today I just had a few hours to do something, anything i wanted, as both babies had a Daddy day. So i did. I’m home now, sat in my pj’s ready for a baby drop off and ordering takeout…back in my living room and i just feel ace.

Cloughey tried to control my adventure lol by making me get him rock. But i had a cocktail instead and didn’t bother. 🙂 He was dusting and washing pots in Ferrybridge, back in Knottingley. I called him to talk him through his love life. Then i just went back to cocktail drinking. BY MYSELF!

Y’know, one of the great things about me is that i’m always really happy, but truly. I’m really grateful for all that I have and I although i’m ambitious, I enjoy the things that matter and i never forget to stop and smell the roses. I have a wonderful family and i’ve created my own. I have a load of chick friends, guy friends and all sorts…and i’m a girl who’s really buzzes off life and the experiences it gifts you. I’m great at just getting on with life and enjoying it. It’s contagious. You can’t fault me for it. It kinda makes me a good catch.

Lots of my guy friends, lots of them are going through all kinds of girlfriend or sort of girlfriend issues right now and they always tell me about them. And i’m all girl so I get where the chicks are coming from. Yet in a way and because i’m a girl who’s really really comfortable in her own skin, It sort of makes me feel bad for the guys. Like it’s not easy for them and i always say that’s why i’m so happy to be a girl. I think that no matter what package they come in, be they rich, poor, handsome, not so handsome, loyal, a player or whatever else we label them…all a guy really wants is for a girl that they adore to love and nurture them. Support them. Make them feel like a hero, especially when they’re down. They’re raised that way. They want to feel free at the same time as feeling loved and attached to someone. And that’s not so bad. I’m that way also, so i get it.

So girls…you never have to worry about a guy because if he adores you, he will always come back. And if he doesn’t…then he won’t and that’s life. That’s fine. You wouldn’t want to be with someone who didn’t fully love you anyway. It takes them time to figure out what they want and that’s okay also.

And guys….less fretting about being perfect or feeling suffocated. Just go with the flow of life and whatever is in your path and enjoy it. Make decisions when you need to and not because you feel you have to.

Bottom line, everyone will find their correct match in the end.

It’s what happens.

So in the meantime…enjoy.

I’m completely buzzing. I might even have to eat noodles. (Carbs after 8pm. Total SIN.)

Okay, i’ve chilled now and i’m once again feeling empowered. I’ve had a moan, a destress and an amazing day with the babies, that now…i’m back to ‘ooh laa.’ That is why momentary time out’s are great for you. I swear. I mean, GOD, Ruby was even a nightmare today, but i got on with it, played the Mum role and the Dad role well and breathed it out over lunch with my brother.

I’m gonna quit being boring now and with my love life ramble. God, I sound cringe. I’m not like that at all. By any means. I’ve chatted to some of my chick friends in LA today and well, they’re my age or older, really successful in whatever they have chosen to do and the majority of them are utterly single and utterly happy. They’re really used to Hollywood dating, which means forever means temporary, so they’ve just gotten on with life, loved it and made dosh. AND more importantly, they’re really really happy.

‘If anyone was like that Chrissie, it was you, so pull yourself together. Fly out, feel empowered…have a cocktail.’

So yeah, now i’m brimming over once more with joie de vivre and feeling champion strong. I’m awesome and doing ace. I feel whole and even though i have a flat tyre after buying NEW TYRES, i’ve just had my nails done…and they’re red…which means my inner sass is BACK. When i was getting my nails done i was sat next to the most beautiful, young, tanned, chick. She was only about 19, but she was gorgeous.That was kinda annoying…lol…especially at thirty something. But i got over it as the woman sat to my left was letting her actual BOYFRIEND PICK HER NAIL COLOUR (I KNOW, no girl does that) because she wanted to please him and well he was ‘paying for them’ so it was ‘whatever you want baby.’ Lol.

He looked at mine and said, ‘You should get them bright red, i like red.’

She looked at me and then said,

‘Really? Don’t you think it’s a bit trampy.’ HAHAHA. That cheeky little doo daa.

But whatever she got them red in the end. 🙂 It made me feel good about myself. I’m an independant girl, i’m never in a situation when i need to let a guy choose my nail colour….and i always pay for my own. 😉 *BOOM*

So yes, whilst i Katy Perry ‘hear me roar’ it and dance in the fire with my heart filled with ‘Yeehaa,’ i’m smiling.

I have the best life, i feel great and i feel adored. I’ve got my shit together and emotionally gift wrapped in glitter, bows and internal happy beams.

Shit about my tyres though right?

Saturday’s are always great as there is always another day where your alarm doesn’t ‘wakey wakey’ you.

I have red nails….You should tooo.

Life = Awesome.

(At The Clothes Show Live when the mic got lost in boobies.)

So this morning before work training, I’m walking across Barnsley cobbles with a broken umbrella that I ended up chucking in the bin and my phone pings up with a message.

Not that my morning was going that well as I hate the rain anyway, yet i’m a chick that will always find the positive in anything even when times are tricky. But yes,  It made me sort of *paused* read the message and sigh. A kitten, dolly eyed sad sigh and it was simply because I felt that the person that sent me the message was stressed and I never really love it when people… who you want to be happy… are going through some kind of stress. And in a weird way, i kinda feel responsible for their stress.

I’m not going to go into it….However, I will remind you all that we have 100 years to make the most of our entire time here…and it is really really important that during the time,  we as beings are happy and fulfilled. Right? And i feel like i have so much life experience shooting starring out of every pore of my fake baked skin…that I now know how to make myself chipper and  at the same time as valuing the importance of it.

Be happy. Don’t sacrifice yourself and go without that dollop of sunshine. Care about those around you, yet put your feelings first. Be loyal to your true feelings and enjoy life.

If you don’t like a situation…change it. Be it work, play, family…or just life in general. In love…and in the words of ‘Nina Simone’ if love is no longer being served, know when to leave the table.

That’s all I could say about my message really and i say it all the time. But i say it from experience and not just to preach on for no reason.

I’ve been in a lot of emotional situations in life and from ever single jolly angle, but i’ve always conquered them and hero’d forward with a smile, my fingers crossed and a heart filled with hope. I don’t make the best of a bad bargain….as I know that there’s not enough time for that in life and it’s honestly the best way forward provided that when you’re taking the steps, you know deep down that it’s what you want.

Life is to be enjoyed.

Preach over.

I’m in a really good place and i couldn’t be happier. I made all the right changes and now i’m almost on Cloud 9. Yes, my love life is always rubbish, but i’m not bothered by that as it is, what it is ( well apart from when i was on my break today and everyone kept going on about how ace their boyfriend or girlfriend was Lol…almost made me eat sausage rolls.) But like I said, i’m happy as i’m pretty grateful for all that I have in my life. I always feel lucky and whole and you have feel lucky and whole in order to make great impact in life and the life of others you may touch. (Vicky always says to me that your life partner is a ‘life enhancer’ someone who walks in and in some way enhances your world. You have to admire them. be inspired by them. Respect and look up to them in a way. I have never ever in my life had a boyfriend or husband who has been a life enhancer.)

Like I’ve always said, My prince will find me, come get me and live the fairytale with me. I just know. In the meantime, i’ll work, play be a great mum and enjoy being me.

Today was great because after work, I got to spend time with my Mum. I walked over to her office with a coffee to say hello and she loved it as (even though through life i’ve been quite naughty) she’s the most supportive Mum in the world ever. She’s go to the ends of the Earth and back for any of us and that’s how i know how to be a great Mum and a great partner. And she’d be there for anyone…I mean God she won the national ‘hero’ award for being so great at her job. She loved me showing up.

However, I kinda waltzed in and sat with a bunch of patients…who didn’t look so happy to see me aside from one guy who was trying to pull me. The staff love me though. He was  an attractive male and kept trying to get in my eye line and make sexy eyes at me…HOWEVER, I am very well aware of what my Mother specializes in (lol) and yes, she’s a Doctor, but well…she’s a gynecologist. 🙂 SO, if you’re sat in her waiting room…and i had an excuse as i’m obviously her loin fruit…. then i know which ‘area’ you are ‘sick’ in. Lol. Meaning, all of a sudden you sort of  become less attractive…and that’s coming from the most open minded girl in the universe. 😉 I think he sort of thought that we had some kind of secret bond as we sat in that waiting room…until my Mum came out and it was quite obvious that I was her child. Lol. Then he blushed and we left with an orchid and a Costa coffee.

I’ve had a really good day and spent the evening looking back at my Paris Hilton times. I’m so happy with where i am in life right now that i’m kinda glad that it’s just a misty watercoloured memory, even though at the time it was WONDERFUL. I’m so glad that i experienced it.

Yet i feel so lucky to be where i am.

I love my new chapter and i couldn’t do anything else now because i adore it that much.

I have a lot of good things happen to me in life and that is because I make the correct choices for myself exactly when I need to. x

ps/ I only blogged this evening because you all nagged me to. Lol. I was totally on chill mode. I’m working and then headed down south tomorrow evening. I’m busy. Lol.

So there I was in a my cream and gold sequinned, mermaid scaled, floor length, because my ‘paid extra for it to arrive on time’ ball gown had decided not to bother showing up…I’m at a gas station…(I do need to begin calling it a petrol station) with my full hair and face done, like i’m about to win a Grammy, Ugg boots on, because I was driving, with a diesel pump in one hand, filling up the black Mercedes, on Pump 4  and the other hand holding up my sequinned dress…. above my knees… so that it wouldn’t get dirty. Lol.

Everyone was glaring at me like i was an idiot, but i didn’t care, I even saw my friend Jo (who said i looked amazing by the way lol.) I was on a timer, I needed to be somewhere, I was in a rush and well…I was about to go to a ball…People kinda expect me to rush around in some kind of sequinned dress…so the locals get it and smile with a ‘It’s just Chrissie.’

Zoomed to the my destination to then get a taxi to Vicky and Guy’s house…and right from the moment i stepped out of a train station to get in a cab…in my mermaid sequinned frock lol…I rush up the the first taxi driver and say,

‘I need to get to my friend’s house, at….’ (I pull out my phone to show him a postcode) and he abruptly repiles with a..

‘Well i don’t know where YOUR FRIEND lives…’

‘Well luckily, i’m about to tell you…’

BUT OH MY GOD, don’t be a DICKHEAD, especially when i need to get somewhere via taxi and you are a taxi DRIVER and i’m in a spangly frock.

From that point on our relationship was sore…and not the good kind (lol.) Jesus CHRIST, he was the maungiest taxi driver in all the land…and found a problem with every little tiny thing. (‘It’s too far away/It’ll cost £30…It’s not going to be easy..’ WHAT THE FUCK….He annoyed me so much that I simply selfied my way to my destination, like i didn’t care about his shitty, lazy, moany attitude. Then he tried to drop me off at the wrong house…in fact no FOUR DIFFERENT wrong houses…and because I kept stating that it wasn’t the right house, he KICKED ME OUT THE CAB and left me on the street, with my overnight bag, in my flipping ball dress and in heels…on the CURB! HAHAHA. I had to find the house myself and walk there because he couldn’t be bothered to drive four houses further.

Luckily, a girl called ‘Elly’ shouted me down and before you know it, i was there, dumping my bag and jumping into a car to get to the ball, with Princess Vicky, Elly,Guy and his friend Neil.

From that point on…everything went AMAZINGLY. The girls looked beautiful. The boys were all suited and booted (which is my favourite) and we laughed, giggled, got excited about life and strutted straight into the ball…without out tickets, with smiles, excitement and looking like total ’10’s!!!’

I felt good. I felt beautiful. I was stood next to Vicky who i was so excited to hang out with, who was dressed like the most beautiful Princess…with her mask in her hand and a water in the other…and life was filled with a buzz. Around me were friends, suits and girls in gowns and it felt so grand to just be out, drinking and having a good time. I’m a good time girl and i’m naturally so social. I was lucky because everyone there was chatty and friendly and there was no weirdness or awkwardness with anyone…Each being be they single or part of a couple was there to have a wonderful Saturday night…and that is exactly what occurred.

We had the perfect table, right by the stage, the most delicious three course meal, great service, a fun table and we were surrounded by beautiful liveliness. I think when people get dressed up, they feel much more glamourous and really go for enjoying their night. I chatted to everyone. I caught up with Vicky and Guy (Team Power couple.) I danced. I sang. I lived, I picture took ..and i enjoyed that everyone kept telling me that I looked great. Lol. Helloo ego! So much fun!

Then, as all girls do, I trotted off to the loo, after the dinner, the auction, winning on the raffle, thanks to Neil who bought my winning tickets…Thank you Neil! Even though i forgot to claim my prize. 🙂 It was only choccies. I’m sure someone enjoyed them. 🙂

But yes, Elly and I frolicked to the loo, singing and dancing as Guy and Vicky did table photos for people…and well because it was such great lighting in the loo’s…this happened…

Elly is an accountant and works for Guy, she’s also really close to Vicky. She’s obviously really great at adding and taking things away. Lol. I’m off a PR background, so i’m great  with people and at seeing and selling anything in it’s most positive light. It makes a good ball combination.

The rest of the evening was all about guzzling wine, having a wonderful time, under party ball lights, with singers and suits and dresses and noise…and love…laughter…and good times with friends! In fact, I was having such a good old time…that I forgot that I was single and meant to be on the scope out for other singles. I forgot! But i do that, when i’m a good time gal, i’ll have a dance, a giggle and do it quite freely…and i enjoy it. But i like that about me. I enjoy living so much that i forget about single time stress….and more girls should be that way.

The girls were great. Vicky and Guy looked so in love. I was swirling around taking dance floor selfie videos, Guy told me off for being uncool, HAHA…Neil tried to photobomb every single video that i shot and give me copious amounts of wine…and there were ‘suit’s’ everywhere…all around me and with really great dance moves! Lol. But really! I love a boy who’s got the moves!

I spent the evening chatting to Guy’s friend Neil who hated the singing act on stage…well the male part of the duo anyway because he was sure that he was Ike Turner. Lol. He taught me what Mazel tov meant. (Even though, i knew.)

‘It’s funny because i’ve taught you the phrase mazel tov and you’ve taught me the phrase balls deep.’ Lol

If i have to teach a boy the phrase ‘balls deep’ then that boy needs to date more. Lol. We were stalking happy couples on the dance floor and seeing if they were married or just flirting for sexy time that evening, hence the occurrence of the phrase…I  mean I wasn’t just going around in my mermaid frock saying ‘balls deep’ at couples. HAHAHA.

Anyway, there was this one ‘suit’ who was handsome and kept looking at me. Looking at me a lot. I saw him looking, but just didn’t hold contact. I’m a girl…i don’t have to do the chase, plus i was in ‘good time’ mode so i kept forgetting to flirt.

The ball came to an end…and Vicky and I were arm in arm, in our gowns, singing ‘NEW YORK, NEW YORK’ walking towards the exit of the auditorium. As we’re walking, we walk passed ‘the suit.’ The one that had been staring at me all night..And as I sing, he looks at me (and he’s stood with his friend) and starts singing back at me, sort of flirty like he wanted me to stop and chat to him.

We walked by, happy as can be, then Vicky stopped me before we went through the exit…

‘Chrissie, you could’ve pulled him. He’s really handsome…’

‘Yeah, he’s been watching me…but what can you do….I mean..’

‘Well should we walk back…?’

And then we both looked at each other and giggled and walked straight through that exit door, arm in arm, with ‘New York, New York’ playing in the background..and like the world was our ball gown oyster. Lol.

Y’see and we talked about this this morning….(If you’re a guy and you fancy me…and i’m right there…happy as can be… a walk and a wine away from you…and you’ve looked, you’ve liked and you’ve tried to made eye contact…but then you’ve done nothing else…out of fear…then i’m not going to pursue you, because men should be brave enough to saunter up and try to get what they want without being babied through the process. He was really handsome, so if he chatted to me…i would’ve chatted back. But he didn’t…but when i was leaving…he attempted to make some kind of flirt occur…but then let me walk straight out of that door. No, no, no, no, nooo.. In the word’s of Vicky…’He just didn’t know what to do, when you were there and he fell to pieces a little.’ And i don’t like that. So i strutted out that door…and just like that, our paths never properly crossed. So what i’m saying is, don’t miss your moment boys. I mean, Neil fancied me a bit too…yet he plonked himself in ‘friend zone’ immediately right from the start and well I have LOADS of guy friends, so if you put yourself in ‘friend zone’ you’ll stay there, as i’ll always just treat you like one of the guys. I mean, i’m a direct and honest girl…so i like a direct, bold and honest man. So, being friendly is cute…yet it’s not going to win me over…because the hot, charming, bold, also good guy will make it very clear that he wants me and very clear that he has no intention on chilling in ‘friend zone.’

If i’m honest, the reason why i didn’t go on the pull…wasn’t just because i was having such a wonderful time, and i WAS lost in wonderfulness…It was also because my mind was distracted by a guy already. I told you. I have a one track mind and if i want something…i want it and nothing else measures up to it. I just need to make sure that i’m feeling 100 percent fulfilled with the situation, as all good girls need or deserve to be adored 100 percent, don’t they? Otherwise it sort of makes you feel kinda like a spare part, rather than a treasure. I look for actions and not just words…and development. If i like a guy i’ll usually put them on a timer (my own little timer in my head)  which I think is lovely of me lol because it gives them time to actually prove that they mean what the say. If they don’t prove it, then they don’t really mean it. Simples! Then you know when you’re ready to move forward.

Anyway, we got a lift back to Vicky and Guy’s. I’m sat in the back with Vicky, being girls and giggling as she’s stating that she’s now a cougar and only going to have an affair on Guy (this as too GUY, so it was all in fun and jest) with toyboys…and then Neil, who’s now pissed starts this really looooong boring story lol about paypal, or space, or Tesler? I don’t know…All i know is that towards the end he said ‘Scrotum’ and that’s all we picked up on…we even made it an island.

‘We’re off to the Isle of Scrotum.’

‘How do you spell Scrotum??’

Then once were were home, heels were kicked off, ball gowns were flung on beds and bikini’s were thrown on, as we enjoyed a quiet, end of the evening under the stars, with a Prosecco, bubbling away in the night, with our colour changing hot tub bubbles, fountains and a night air blanketing us!

IT WAS BLISS! Oh it was bliss!

And we just talked about life and love and the future…(and ate crisps.) Vicky and i stopped drinking. We know hot tubs well. Guy drank and enjoyed the bubbles. Neil..got more and more pissed…HAHAA…Then he did the worst thing that any male in all of the land could do to me, and that was SPLASH ME IN THE FACE WITH WATER…TWICE! Lol. He got a stern Wunna telling off lol…which is always polite… 🙂 as the double splash tipped me over the edge. He did in a being flirty fashion…but when he got told off that was it..it all went down hill. Lol.

I reminded him of it this morning…and he sort of blushed as we all piss took and with a ‘Well i don’t know my Hot tub Chivalry’ and left. HAHAHA.

Guy, who’s charming and got all the moves…sort of watched Neil, do everything during his hot tub pursuit. Lol. He even said, ‘the funniest thing was watching Chrissie dash upstairs, once she was out of the hot tub, rush into her room and shut the door immediately.’ HAHAHAAH. Nothing says it more than that! HAHAHAHA.

But no, it was just such a wonderful Saturday and I actually really grateful that I’m now featuring in their lives. They’re a great couple and i’m really happy that they’ve found so much love. I watched them be lovey all night and in the hot tub and it made me smile as it gave me hope.

I’ve just got home, as I woke up this morning, did breakfast with everyone and then went to celebrate Father’s Day with my Dad, who is the most loving man I will every know. I’m so lucky that I’ve been blessed with such a great Father. They’ll never be a man who loves me as much as my Dad. We just have such a true, honest, fun and open bond with one another. I can tell him anything and he tells me EVERYTHING and because of that, it is something that I look for in a guy…as to me it is foreign for a male, who adores you, to not be expressive, honest, tell you everything whole heartedly and with love. I trust my Father, just as much as I trust and adore my Mum. I’m a really lucky girl.

How was your weekend?

Great day! Life is good right now. Friday’s are always good as they’re always filled with work for me, yet sprinkled with fun. A bit of Lionel Ritchie came on, followed by a bit of  old school Whitney and at the point, i knew it was the weekend.

I got home, adored the babies, cracked open a bottle of vino and now i’m chilling.

I’m at a ball with Vicky & Guy tomorrow night, and my dress hasn’t come. I knew it wouldn’t come..and yes…there you have it…it’s not here. Lol. I even paid half the cost of the dress to have it delivered to me within three to five working days! Lol. It’s not here. Hahaha. However, i’m not one to fret, as i’m a solution kinda girl. 🙂 There’s no point in getting ya knicker crackers in a twist over something that can’t be changed. I laughed…then figured, by the time it’s tomorrow evening, i will have some kind of dress on, that i will have found in the nick of time…and i shall go to the ball. Simples!

I’m not a fretter and i’m a ‘sorter.’ So yeah, I may not have my little lavish ball gown, but i’ll have something…and i’ll wear that thing like a QUEEN. I’m more concerned over the fact that, in a couple days time, when the ball is all said and done…the’baby pink’ fish tail ball gown will arrive on my doorstep, all chipper, like it has somewhere to go. I mean, God, what i am even going to do with it? I’ll just laugh, sell it, or chuck it in my wardrobe for ‘some other time’ i want to look like the cast of Gyspy wedding. Hurrah! Yager bombs for everyone! (I hate a yager bomb.) Should I go to the ball naked Vicky? Should I? I’ll just plonk on a tiara and pretend i have a dress on.

Love life front? Erm…I don’t really have anything to report. It’s the same old, the inboxes are shimming in. I’m not really paying much attention. Cloughey even sent me a message saying, ‘Chrissie is bored of me now.’ (Lol. I’m not Clough. I’ve just been busy.) I think it’s because i have a one track mind and when i feel something…like someone has caught my attention…that I like enough to pursue….then everyone else, for the time being *blurs* out of my glammy consciousness, pales in comparison…and is sort of forgotten about and especially right now as i’m exceedingly impressed by the guy. I told you…it’s chemistry. (And you can’t buy, or force that shit.) Plus, the good thing about chemistry is that it may be exciting, and sexy and heated..and almost uncontrollable…yet in a way it’s romantic…because there’s an innocence to chemistry, a simplicity about it, a trust and a ‘something…something.’ It’s like a private party that no one else is invited to, but you. And at first because it’s a shock to your system, it’s all swirls and madness and body reactions and sparks. But when you can close your eyes, take a moment, breathe it out, then slowly open your eyes, once you’ve calmed down and STILL feel it…yet on a much more peaceful level…you know you’re going to be alright.

I want a guy to wake up every morning and think i am the most amazing woman he could ever have as his…just as much as I want to wake up and know that i’m with the absolute man of my utter dreams. Don’t we all. (So yeah Part time/Full time Knight in shining armour will do. Please form an orderly cue for your first round of interviews. 😉 )

It was funny because I was having a conversation with the girls about dates, and being singles and how we chicks don’t want to be ‘basic.’ Lol. (Don’t you just hate ‘basic’ chicks. The ‘nothing about them’ chicks, all plain and simple and…plain and simple. Lol.

You know when you see a balloon that was once all blown up ,all fun, air filled and tight…but it’s now STILL a balloon, but a tiny, shrunken, wrinkly, airless flop.That’s basic. The ace chicks and relationships are the all fun, air filled, tight balloons, that are so exciting and sassy that they POP!!! Or even better the ones you just tie around your wrist for safe keeping and they fly you through the skies merrily.  They never go wrinkly. They take you on an adventure that you can’t wait to go on! There’s loyalty and love in that also!

My first husband would always say that one of the things he loved about me, was the fact that there was always this ‘glint’ in my eye, this cheekiness, without me having to say anything. That makes me not ‘basic.’ SO THERE! Lol. And it can be something as simple as that, that makes you not dull.

Anyway in this conversation one of the darlings was explaining her new found freedom and how she was intending on going on numerous dates…with anyone she fancied to feel independant and sassy and…everything that her power suit stated. Lol. And I loved it. I giggled, as i was just like that when I was her age. It was fun. There were no rules. And when it comes to matters of the heart, there are no rules. You just love and go for it. 🙂 I hate it when people put timelines and deadlines and text book talk on love, as it’s an emotion….and something you body feels…so you should just plonk your heart on your sleeve and go with it. Like i said, you’re a long time dead.

YET, i’m old now and nothing is worst to me than spreading myself thinly…lol. I’m thirty five. I’m too busy and working and mummified to do the flipping awful 30 something trek on every single dating site,  chatting to every single guy in a bar…and responding to every single message. I can’t be bothered. Lol. So, i leave it and i wait until i’ve found the right connection…and then i chance it…i go for it. I told you, i’m a traditionalist when it comes to love, in the most unconventional way. Yet I want my fairytale. I’m sure i deserve it. Lol. Ofcourse I want my happily ever after, with Mr.Right. But i’m happy regardless and that is something that makes a girl attractive. AND GOD, if you smear that with charm, a good heart, fun and boobies…you are unstoppable. 🙂

Tomorrow i’m off to a ball. 🙂 Who knows what the evening will bring…

‘Chrissie…Do you want a Ribena?’

‘Yeah, I’d never knock back a Ribena.’

‘I’ve lied. It’s not actually a Ribena, it’s a Robinson’s…’

‘A Robinson’s squirt thing?’

‘Yeah.’

‘That’s fine…I love a Robinson’s squirt thing.’

That was a moment of my day. Lol.

I’ve actually had a great day. It’s been filled with work, but now i seem to be on top of it all and the mist has risen…I’m getting it and getting it good. I’m feeling all smiley, like i’ve finally rubbed two sticks together and made fire! Yipppeee! It feels good. I adore a sense of achievement. I’m happy.

I also did lunch with a chick who thought Bangladesh was a county. Lol. The on street football noise got the better of her and she hated hearing songs about Vindaloo, ‘What was that about…a bucket of curry??’

Good day. Championed it. Dodged every human as I passed ‘The Blacky’ in Pontefract, simply because I couldn’t be bothered to hang out and just wanted to get home, before someone saw me and shouted me in.

Got home happily. Had a mojito. Chattered to my Mother, who’s just returned from London and then started reminiscing about my time in LA. (I do this from time to time. When i was younger, i was a delightfully, charming…hellraiser. Code for a ‘bit of a glamourous swine,’ but that’s what you do in your 20’s. You swine it up to be a more stable 30 something. 🙂 I’m probably the acest person I know.

I started laughing to myself (like a lunatic) about the times I had during my decade in LA…and it super made me miss Meghan. When we were young 20 somethings, and i had just got divorced from my first husband…we spent so much time together, just having so much fun…like little glammy kids in LA. But i’m talking way back, before i moved to West Hollywood and did the Bev Hill’s thing…and where I began…in Sherman Oaks. I was only tiny. We both were.

We’d get dinner for free everywhere, saunter into acting class, go out on nights and chat to Leonardo Di ‘Caprio and bully Owen Wilson…and at the time it all felt so normal. We were the best party tag team EVER. (We’re old now.) But there was a point that i actually remember, other than the time we ran out on our strawberry daiquiri bill, for no reason because we had the money? Lol. We had the entire staff chase us. Yet she used to adore Ben Affleck and smuggled herself onto his set, whilst he was filming. Lol. (I was in acting class and she had ditched class to go stalk Ben at Warner Bros. HAHA. He liked it! Lol.)

And I used to date Matt Dillion and how I ended up dating him, was because we were at The Chateau Marmont on Sunset, I’m minding my own business but she notices this guy who’s trying to talk to me…..well..this happened…We were stood having a drink…this guy comes up to me and asks to buy me a drink…I shun him…and later we’re on the dance floor…and Meghan says…

I super love memories. Even the dodgy ones. That was a good love life memory, but there’s been loads of rubbish ones. Like Scott the male ‘go, go’ dancer, in LA. I never dated him. He wanted me to date him, but when i met him I was in the middle of a gay bar, he was on all fours, in pink speedo’s (completely straight, just earning a buck) with my Hollywood gay guy friends, putting dollars in his pants. Lol. It wasn’t a turn on. Lol.

I don’t even know how i ended up having a conversation with him, but i just assumed he was gay. But he wasn’t and he really wanted me to be his girlfriend, but he was adopted (which is fine) yet he had a really bad relationship with him Mum, so within moments clung onto me like he needed me. I don’t get into relationships like that, as they suffocate me. I don’t like the responsibility of it all. I mean God i went through all that with Keiran and to me…not everyone…it’s emotionally exhausting.

I never called him or talked to him. But it was because I think the best couples are made up from two singletons, who are doing well, feeling great, both surrounded by good friendships, a whole family love and support..who are confident and just internally happy. Like they feel good about themselves and appreciate the other person for who they are and not what they want them to be.

I’m gonna drink the rest of my mojito now.

C’ya