Toes, Love, Baby’s and Exes

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Morning! We’re on Thursday right?

It’s a great day to be alive, as i’m filled with excitement and *va va voom.* The weather’s a pile of pants though, isn’t it? HOWEVER, yesterday, even though it was chilly, light, sun and happiness, seemed to peek through the clouds for a second. I got out of work at the regular five something o clock and it wasn’t pitch black, freezing cold darkness..and I tell you, it makes all the difference.

Loving life right now. Feeling content. Paid my ‘cheaper than ever’ phone bill! YIpppeee! And I have Junior for the entire rest of the week now, as Keiran’s working and travelling. (I’ve made him sound like a gypsy.) Yesterday a couple hours before pick up, he called my work to say that he was still in Wales and couldn’t pick Junior up. Secretly, my heart filled with glee, as Junior for some awful reason will do anything in his power to not have to venture to his father’s ever? I mean, he’ll even beg PETE to take him, just so he doesn’t go. He’ll pretend to be ill, either before nursery or at nursery, just so i either don’t take him or pick him up, to avoid the ‘Daddy Pick up.’ So, i just spoke to Keiran about it, as it’s not nice for him and simply said, you just need to overlook the things that are going on in your home, to see what could be the problem. He agreed and it made him feel bad. BUT, then he asked if he could send his girlfriend ‘Jade’ to go pick Junior up from nursery. What??? When he’s not at home and I’m off work during pick up time??

I laughed. He immediately knew that i wouldn’t okay that. The moment it flew out of his mouth, he wanted to stuff it back in his mouth. Plus, nursery wouldn’t even okay that. When i’m available and pick up my baby, i will. Plus, I don’t even know Jade. I would never have someone i don’t know pick my baby up. AND those days are about Father/Son bonding. So, if he’s not getting back until 10pm./then obviously, there would be no point. Probably why, Junior doesn’t get why he goes over? Lol

So, I text him and told him that i’m keeping him. And Mum’s you should always make the right decisions for you. Don’t let Men (and Keiran never does it now, but he used to) spurt out ’emotional bullshit’ on you, to try and make you feel bad. If you’re a good mum…and i am. You know what’s right for your baby.

Rant over.

It looks like it’s going to be sunny, but freezing at the same time. Ugh! I talked to Benny for an hour last night. He seemed okay, but down. I filmed three Vlogs on Monday and he’s lost two of them…and we were just chatting about what other’s may be gossiping about. We’re good. We’re in love. He’s just getting back on his feet and finding a job. When he does, i’ll feel better, he’ll feel better…and life will be better.

My hands need moisturizing. My toe separators are sexy. I’m having to walk around with silicone wedged between my big toe and second toe, to stop them from making out. Madness. It kills. But is hilarious. What kind of glamour puss, has to wedge things between her toes, in order to walk normally, without pain, or future bunions. It’s sounds like some hibble hobble, witch story.

I’m off.

I’m at work in fifteen minutes.

Than you for watching my Vlog, i think it’s currently on over five thousand views. xx

 

 

Catching up…

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So, i’ve been spending a whole lot of time with the babies and nothing has felt better. They’re growing up to be the most ย amazing little Wunna babies ever and I couldn’t even be more proud to say that they’re mine. I love being ‘Mama,’ more than anything in the world.

I’ve shared giggles and lunches with Baby Junior..

…TGI’s, Crazy Golf..

and Barnaby Bear moments with Ruby…

They’ve adored one on one time, with me and shared ‘sibling moments,’ as I call them, with one another. They’ve had moments with just me. Moments with Ben and I. Moments with their Daddies and very special Grandparent moments. So right now, (especially for Baby Ruby) things are pretty whole, wonderful and swirled with magic.

It feels really great to have better priorities, balance and this ooze of unconditional love sponging through my system and constantly. I feel alive! Now i just need the sunshine and to move into my million pound mansion and i’ll be overjoyed. ๐Ÿ˜‰ *Giggles, Hair toss.*

(They’re both in my bed right now, simply because they didn’t quite get why they should be sleeping in their own beds, when they could cuddle me in mine. I’m soft…so they both got the ‘thumbs up’ and a boost into ‘Mama’s’ sheets.)

Work. I’m working. Same old. Busier today, so much better. My ankle is fucked though. I swear down. I couldn’t even tell you how Hillbilly, I feel with my dud ankle. I want a new one. One that isn’t busted on the left and toes that don’t ache simply out of old age.

The simple fact that I found myself Googling ‘comfy, wide fit shoes,’ devastates me! It’s a slippery slope. I never ever EVER wear flats or trainers. Like EVER. But now, it seems that a lifetime of glamour pussing, has put a delicious strain on my ‘barkers’ and left dodgy, but still sexy ankle…and if I don’t want to hobble around like a ‘troll’ when i’m older…then i’m going to have to do something about it.

I know! HEELS JUST FOR SPECIAL OCCASIONS!! Kill me!

I’ve definitely missing Ben. Just so you know, we haven’t broken up. Lots of people seem to think that? But I promise you we haven’t. In fact we couldn’t love each other more. He’s spent the last weekend with me and the children and it couldn’t feel more special. The change in residence, really is simply about finding balance and making sure we’re both doing the best we can to make our relationship last the long haul. I still very much wish to be his wifey and I can’t wait to seem him next. Emotionally nothing has changed. We’re really really happy. Little adjustments can be smart. And if anything, more than anything, right now, we’re being smarter than ever.

Other than that, i think i’ve become addicted to online shopping. Ever since Jenna told me that I can get things delivered to a pick up locker, via Amazon, 1 minute away from my workplace, that has been it. I’ve squandered my fine earned pences on instant fixes and all sorts. (Even decent flat shoes, that i’ve chosen in the form of fur rimmed boots by ‘Ella.’ ๐Ÿ˜‰ ) I’m making the executive decision to quit it…but just not yet. It’s retail therapy, so whilst the babies are happy, I’m getting my shopping fix on, to fill my ‘i miss Ben’ void. Lol.

Nick (‘Take me out’ Nick, as i call him on here and his new girlfriend ‘Jasmin’ came over the other night for pizza, a meet and greet and wine. ) I adore Nick…as does Ben, these days…they’re sort of like brothers…so it was really great to see him and even greater meeting ‘Jasmin’ (who’s not only hot but also referred to as ‘Princess’ by Ruby.)

We chatted, ate drank, watched ‘The Kardashians’ and gossiped. I had a cocktail umbrella in my hair…and life was pretty good. (This is after Ben and I had done a whisky sour at Ego and stopped off to see his parents for a glass of wine and a ‘catch up.’ SEE! Everything’s normal.)

I love Ben and Nick hanging out because even though they on occasion bump heads, they seem to make each other happy. PLUS, that night, it was great because I can honestly say that i have never really seen Nick so happy with his choice of girl. He looked all ‘like he wanted to impress her’ and whole. I liked it. It made me smile.

(I ended up taking Ruby to bed, after she forced everyone to watch her bath her plastic, weeing dolls and accidentally fell asleep. Ben woke me up and Nick and Jasmin has already left. Lol. Total ‘oldie.’ )

I’ve filmed a new Vlog. Infact 3, in one day. I know. (Thanks to Benny.)

 

I’m off work all next week, so hopefully, i’ll smash out a bunch of them. Excuse m hair. I’m shit at doing my own hair. That’s why it’s always usually fake. But I’m looking forward to getting back into Vlogging. It’s simple, easy and well, I never seem to have time to blog, but loads of time to spurt out a little video. Probably because i have to use my brain more.

Anyway, I’m off. I have exciting auditions. My normal day job, Mummying and Benny, all spinning right now. I’m going to sort out the lash line when i have time and found a better ecommerce site and although pancake day was dandy, and the upcoming ‘Valentine’s day’ seems silly…i’m doing really well. Unfortunately my upcoming ‘time of the month’ is making my hormones, force me to pull faces. But i’ll get over it. Lol. I have a wine.

Love you!

Chrissie ย x

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Last night when ‘Ego’ saved our life

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So, Friday night was Danielle’s leaving do! Most of us had worked all day, made sure we didn’t eat all day, rushed home, spruced up to the nine’s and with glitz in our eyes, strutted, drove or taxied to ‘Malones’ to say our ‘Goodbyes’ to ‘Leaving Danielle’ and celebrate her sail into her very next nursey chapter.

I was in a pinstripe, ‘peek a boob’ dress and heels, armed with a gift wrapped present, snuggled in a tiny coat, walking my way through a rainy, night time drizzle. The weather was shitty, but i was just excited to see ‘Greedy.’ (Danielle) So the cold, rain and wind, didn’t matter.

Got there early. I’m always early to nights out and I was immediately greeted by Florence, Katie and Lucy, who were part of the part and all dressed in black, glammy outfits, which pretty much made them Ackworth’s answer to The Kardashians. They looked amazing.

All smiles, all happy and as soon as I take one foot in the door, Katie turns around and says, ‘There isn’t a booking?’

Jaws drop. I immediately know that this is gonna piss Danielle off. But yes, she had called and made a dinner booking for 20 people at Malones…TWENTY PEOPLE, who had all travelled from all over town…and they hadn’t penned it in their diary, so had no recollection of the call, booking or anything. Lol

Everyone’s arriving faster and faster and we’re all just stood around, with a drink, looking like spare parts, with people eating around us, their staff looking panicked and maungey…and with nowhere to sit, and nothing to do.

Danielle arrives, gets in a huff, speaks to the manager and they open a dark function room for us, all cold and night clubby. I mean, i’m positive by nature, so i’m glad they did something, yet it sort of felt like a very empty ‘Biggies,’ and when you have people ranging from the ages 17 to Sixty, who were expecting DINNER… it’s probably not the best situation.

All’s okay, but we’re obviously just making the best of a bad situation. The good thing is that we all get on so well that we sat, opened gifts and chattered, gossiped, giggled, laughed, talked about work, life, futures, Danielle and pouting. It was actually tremendous fun. I loved it. So it goes to prove that it doesn’t matter where you are, it’s who you’re with that counts. It was good to catch up, get out, have fun, have drinks.

However, all that said and done…bottom line, you can’t leave 20 people from Yorkshire, with NO FOOD. Lol. The owner came in and made Danielle literally scroll through her phone to prove that she had called. (Bad manners.) She had, so then they were a bit fucked. But instead of simply saying they couldn’t do it, or they were sorry…they attempted to, which was so much worse.

We must have waited over an hour for three tiny starters, whilst we all tried to entertain ourselves…and then ended up waiting TWO WHOLE HOURS, FOR NO FOOD. Lol.

We all hadn’t eating and we’re now getting inappropriately tipsy. We asked the kitchen and the staff if they had even started our food…and they couldn’t seem to even answer?? We were all getting irritable, whilst waiting for 20 dishes…so in the end, i got the nod and I called ‘Ego’ in Ackworth and asked if they would kindly open the kitchen and seat 20 people, at the very last minute FOR DINNER..

And do you know what?

They DID!!!

How amazing! I mean you couldn’t even ask for better service. They have always gone above and beyond their call of duty for me and it is honestly one of my favourite places. It’s moments like that which can make who never want to go to a place like Malones again.

So yeah, we had all put in food orders and eating 3 starters, but fuck it, we all walked out after Ego confirmed that they would gladly have us…and we left with smiles to take dinner somewhere else.

As soon as we walked into Ego, we were greeted by Jodie the General Manager with kindness, fun, smiles and just brilliance. All 20 of us where seated straight away, we all bought drinks and within fifteen minutes, each and every one of us, had our delicious, fine dining meals in front of us! Boom!!!

The ambiance was immediately, lighter, better and more glamourous. We all had fun. We were happy that we had eaten and well, what can I say, service is key!

After dinner, we all ventured home. I had work the next morning…Danielle and Jenna went into town for partying…and the evening ended up…and because of Ego…being AMAZING.

Gonna miss you Danielle. xxx

One Piece Friday

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Right, the aim of my day, is to just get through it in one pretty piece, without getting too bored, or too busy and simply so I can reach the finish line, with a few extra pences in my glitzy lined pocket and go to Danielle’s Leaving do.

Danielle and I were talking about strippers with nipple tassels and willies, last night. I’ve raised her well. She’ll be lucky to have normal ย friends at Uni, after i’ve finished with her. Lol. She wanted a last minute stripper…I suggested a friend….she said she wasn’t that desperate…then we giggled and I hoped she had nightmares. GOD I MISS HER!

Who am I even gonna banter with today???

I’ve been online shopping..well browsing more than anything, for things to Vlog about. I’m rubbish at shopping online at times, as my mind runs faster than my screen and everything gets jarred, jammed and panicked.

I haven’t gotten anything yet, as i get distracted and just want to buy things that are luxurious and impractical.

I’m into facial massages though right now. Are you?

Wunna. x

Ps/ Ben text me last night saying that I was the girl who had his heart forever. Made me smile. Love him. x (I’m that easy. Lol)

Uneventful Thursday Straddles

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When the highlight of your day was watching an over 80 year old lady, place a tiny plastic, wind up dog, that does flips in front of you every 3 seconds, after she has explained that she has just stood upon her kitchen counter and straddled the sink to wash her *pom pom* curtains..you know you’re either the luckiest girl in the world, or need a better life. Lol. To be honest, i hope that I’m that agile at 80. I’m sure i’ll just be wrapped in 100 leopard print blankets, moaning about life and shouting at butlers to pass me my diamantes, with a crumpet and a cuppa tea. Remind me to straddle kitchen sinks and find joy in wind up dogs. There was almost an innocence to it, that kinda made a chick like moi, smile. ๐Ÿ™‚

The rest of the day was Thursday. A ‘nothing to do’ Thursday, at work. The weather is cold. It’s a dodgy time of year. People are trying to embrace ‘Valentines,’ however still can’t be bothered yet.

How was your Thursday?

The end of the day was juiced up by my ‘imaginary friend Jenna’ hitting herself on the head with a lamb, woolen mitt, that was attached to a stick. Four minutes later, i tried to help, but all i did was accidentally hit myself in the face (OH THE FACE) with the lamb woolen mitt, on a stick.

That was about it. I didn’t feel too mentally stimulated or inspired today. but you get days like that, don’t you? In those moments you just have to be grateful that you’re alive and in a better off position that those less fortunate. Lol. (When you’re reaching for ‘those less fortunate’ as a comparison…things aren’t spiffy! (I have wine.)

Y’know how i said, that all girls should treat themselves each week, in order to feel ace. Well i did. I bought myself the ‘Honey love’ lipstick by Man, with a couple eye shadows to make me feel appreciated. ๐Ÿ™‚ I never really get chance to give myself a little treat, so it felt good. It doesn’t matter what you ‘treat’ yourself too…as long as it’s something you WANT and not something you NEED.

I’m saving well. Infact, I got super inspired today by a girl, who is so young but manages to save a bunch of dough, because her head is screwed on correctly. It made me set up another savings account up immediately and transfer money into it. Made me feel good and sort of impressed that someone that young could be so smart.

I’ve wrapped up Danielle’s leaving present. (She’s left the work place and i miss her..everything about her. Luckily, it’s her leaving do tomorrow at ‘Malones,’ in Ackworth…so i’ll get to gift her and say ‘bye bye.’)

I’m having a ‘girls night’ with Ruby, she’s brilliant and loving every moment of it. We’ve played, worked, chattered and done warm stew. She bathed and giggled…then I got into the most deliciously warm bath, only to *urk* myself out.

WHAT IS WORST than the moment, you look into your bath and realize that you’re relaxing in a fake tan bath. Lol! That gross moment, where your bath water is tinged with orange…which mixed with bubbles looks swamp water.

I stepped out my fake tan bath and sighed. Then I missed Ben…but i’m excited to see him next! He’s being really productive, so he tells me. See, told you it was positive. Plus, I sure as hell appreciate him more.

We’re texting, we’re missing each other…and life is still great between us.

Right, i’m off to finish wine and chill.

Hope your Thursday was a bit more eventful.

Chrissie x

Bonds, Past and Futures

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Thursday! Thursday! Almost Saturday (my last day of the work week. Can’t wait!)

Didn’t drink at all last night? Losing my touch. Thought about the future. Got excited! Missed Ben, so texted him. We’re still madly in love. Watched Junior…which broke my heart!

Every Wednesday he goes to Keiran’s and it’s a usual nursery pick up, that Junior’s really weirdly aware of…and hates. I mean, Keiran and I have even discussed it, as we have no idea why he hates leaving to go there so much. But he underlined it as ‘he’s a Mummy’s boy.’ Which I know sort of sucks for Daddy, but it kinda rocks for me. ๐Ÿ™‚ And…having watched this before with Ruby….I just feel like I know what will happen. He was at mine late last night, kind, playful with the children, looking a little tired, a little hurt, as of course it’s not nice to hear Junior do the ‘go away Daddy’ spiel. Especially because Keiran’s quite sensitive to that. In the end, Junior was bribed appropriately lol and left. Yet at the end of the day and i know it’s hard on Keiran, to sort of watch his family move on…happily… and for him to maybe not have the sort of bond that be truly would’ve wished for with both the babies. I mean, Pete and Ruby are SOOOOOOOO CLOSE now and it’s lovely to watch. Both children are obviously close with me, as i’m ‘Mama.’ Keiran’s sort of now become this after thought…But like i said four years ago, when stubborn little Keiran, thought for the minute in front of him, instead of the years ahead of him. The consequences…………well the consequences for him….. haven’t really worked out. It’s sad.

But on a better note! I’m feeling over the moon. Great night with Ruby, eating olives, veggie crisps (she has weird taste,) talking fairy doors, doing homework, gossiping about school and boys. I read her two books in bed, and she now has this ritual, where in which she gently pulls my eyelashes off my eyelids and when she does, she ready to roll over and get some shut eye. Awww!

Up early. Happy as can be. I’m feeling organized and excited to get back Vlogging. Ben is going to help me. We’re missing each other a lot right now. But the bond we have is strong, so I’ll see him soon. I’m working as per usual and tomorrow I have Danielle’s leaving do to tend to!

Everything feels good. I’m chipper. I’m looking okay. I’m saving. I’m regrouping mentally and emotionally. I think that I’m the kind of being who needs to always make sure that I’m okay whilst i’m on my own….always. It’s like giving yourself an emotional MOT check. I think I adore the idea of togetherness so much, that it scares me, incase I don’t have it anymore. And once in a while, I need to retreat, just to make sure, that without, i am still perfectly fine! ๐Ÿ™‚

I’m definitely far less maungey and well, it’s almost time for work..so ladies..I’m off!

Have a good one x

 

 

Cake watching…

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Honestly! Who on this earth puts me in charge of a cake! I mean, you just wouldn’t would you! Lol. I mean, you just wouldn’t look at me, after you’ve slaved over baking the most delicious in the Universe and then say, ‘Wunna, watch it, so it doesn’t burn, i’m leaving.’ *Whaaaat?* HAHAHAH. I nearly died the other day! Bottom line, if you don’t want things to maybe get burnt, don’t leave me in charge of ‘the watch.’ Lol.

It didn’t burn. I aced it. I winked at that Goddamn thing and it championed to perfection. It would wouldn’t It. (I did burn a little, but Katie, who baked the cake, is nicer than I am when it comes to the feelings of others…well…ahahaha, sort of…so she made me feel better for burning bits of it, like i hadn’t burnt any bits at all. HAHAHA. Sweet!)

However, lesson learnt to all! Don’t leave me charge of cakes that aren’t fully cooked yet. I’m better with the fully cooked finished product! I don’t have the discipline to be so cautious with cakes, as I pay no attention to detail when it comes to the little things that don’t matter too much. Lol.

Who puts me in charge of cake watching? I mean, put me in charge of naked dancing boys. A conga line. Cocktail sipping. Or watching dramatic eye-lining tutorials. I’m never watching cake again. So much pressure. So little time. ๐Ÿ˜‰ *Giggles*

Hope your Wednesday is going well x

Start all over again…

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My apologies! I’ve been losing my mind. ๐Ÿ™‚ I’m back now though and my mind is utterly in one working piece. I’m going to blame the cold for it and simply because ‘the boogie’ doesn’t deserve the blame this time. But yes, I don’t know if i’m hormonal or what? But I definitely decided to go mental and lose the plot. Yipppeee!

I have HEAT! I actually got it Sunday. My home filled with warmth and whilst it was I caught up with Benny, did lunch, drinks, brunch the next day and chattered. I had a teary eyed moment. He had a teary eyed moment. Loved was restored. (It had always been there.) Yet, we’re still living in separate residences, so we can both pull ourselves together and get to a place where we can reign with victory. We’re missing each other….but it’s a good thing on the whole. I mean, you can’t sustain a healthy relationship, if you’re both not yet in a place, where you feel completely mighty, whole and well..happy, right? We’re doing well. He really loves me. I really love him. We’re getting it right and massaging the *blip* as he calls it, with love and sense. Ben’s not actually too phased by a ‘blip’ with me, which I admire. My ย past ‘blips’ have usually ended in fights or divorce. Lol. I mean, gosh yes, He’ll have a moment of stubborn, then he’ll adjust and with an open heart return with solutions. I like that, as it helps when you’re trying to do ‘forever.’

I couldn’t sleep at all last night. The rain and cold is annoying, but hilarious because it just isn’t getting much better weather wise, is it? Lol. I laid wide awake in bed, with nothing to think about other than the fact that I didn’t know how to make my hair grow, so I could be extension free. ๐Ÿ™‚ I have no clue as to why my mind felt that was such an important matter. But i think because I had Baby J laid next to me, I felt completely at peace, so my head went on chill mode and tangoed with frivolous thoughts of glamour.

I’m back at work until Saturday. Monday I went all shouty and weird because I couldn’t Vlog. I don’t know if it was because I hate not being able to do something that I really want to do with all my heart, or if I missed Ben and figured that I’d shout at myself, walls and cameras that i couldn’t work for a release. Probably a bit of both. HAHAHA. I was in a strop and it just goes to show you that when you’re in a miserable mood, miserable things happen.

From that point on, the radiator upstairs started leaking, to the point where i had to be a hilbilly and place a large cooking pot under it, to catch droplets of mucky water.

Then I tried to do ‘washing clothes’ and instead FLOODED my ENTIRE KITCHEN. Lol.

Everything just went tits up and then some, to the point where it was hilarious. I never needed help more! As you can imagine, with me being a glamour puss, I AM SHIT, in these moments. I just like them to be sorted for me. All girls do. We need men for these moments. And don’t get me wrong, i’m all independent and ‘hoorah,’ when it comes to making money, working hard, looking after babies and being creative…yet there is still a big streak in me that believes there are ‘jobs for the girls’ and ‘jobs for the boys.’ (Every feminist will attack me for it. Lol)

I never want to flood my kitchen again! I never should take two days off work in a row. I mean, for fucks sake, that was crazy. Broken boiler, not heat, the flirt of actual heat, followed by mayhem. It destroyed me. It was devastating. I laughed, sorted it out, shrugged it off and enjoyed every single waking minute with Ruby and Junior. (Which made me forget everything and glued my world back together with love.)

To be honest, the children were the most helpful children in all the land. I’m really lucky to have them. They’re actually realized a lot better than I thought? HAHA. Ruby might be a Diva, but she is incredibly great when it comes to tricky situations. (She’s actually missing Ben now. Typical.) Junior is just helpful and kind by nature, wrapped up in a giggle Burmese bundle of swirls. We all chilled out, ate cottage pie and watched a movie.

I went back to work yesterday and started all over again….