Hey! Hey! Sailor!…..and Walks

As i Tweeted a lovely couple days ago, you know you’re a wonder of a wife and enjoying the perfect married life, when you can look to your wife, one lazy afternoon and say, ‘Baby, go put that cute sailor girl outfit you have on and let me call you Rose.’ *Wiggle-Wink.’

Yes! Not quite yesterday, yet maybe the day before, my gorgeous new hubby and i tinkered with a joyous bit of ‘Sailor girl Rose’ sexy time and boy was it delicious. Now, i’m always telling you how wonderful our sex life is, as Keiran and I sre just a couple who not only ‘longtime’ love each other, yet at the same time are incredibly attracted to one another….madly. We love to keep our bedroom time filled with fun and well thanks to Ann Summers and there fabulous choices of merry themed outfits, i was able to reach for my little frilly sailor sit and slip on my over the knee striped stockings. Then armed with my slanty eyes and a ‘What do you want to call me.?’ Keiran and I enjoyed a yummy session of role play, ooh laa and magic, in the form of what i call ‘Le Bonk.’ AMAZING!

Not only that! Yet once we had finished our frollock of ‘hey hey sailor,’ and committed to our after ‘le bonk’ deep breath of satisfaction…he took one more look at me, enjoyed that my boobs didn’t quite fit my sailor cups and before you know it, i was bend over the sofa, with a giggly ‘ooh’ face, in my blue and white striped stockings and bright white stilettos, being willy tickled one more time! What a fit husband! HAHA! Whoever said marital sexy time was rubbish, just hasn’t managed to find their perfect bedroom companion. We work because we’re in love and nothing is hotter to us that hubby/wifey ‘ooh laa,’ with a cherry on top and a giggle. It’s just sooo much better, when you’re having fun with the someone you love. I’m still on Cloud 9, adoring every little inch of married life. I think i deserve a pat of the back for choosing such a good ‘forever.’ We’re each others entire world and well i look at him and not one tiny bit of me could be without him. Keiran is honestly not just the most loving man ever, the most romantic loverboy any girl could ever wish for, extremely pleasing on the eyes and a ‘there for you hubby,’ but he’s also the most magnificent father. Baby Ruby and I feel lucky to have such a being in our lives and because i’m a girl who always believed that i would never meet anyone good enough to enjoy and  share Wunna land with. Not only did we let him in with open arms and warm hearts, followed by loving him and marrying him, but i also changed m name to ‘Thompson.’ If you need anything in your wardrobe dollies…you NEED to grab yourselves the Ann Summers Sailor girl suit and call yourself a name like ‘Rose.’ Lol. (I enjoy that Keiran chose ‘Rose.’ It makes me giggle because he chose a name that is seemingly so pure.)

Away from that…my new chapter called ‘Married life’ has made me want to keep up appearances and do well in life. It’s like i now have more meaning and more reasons to conquer this disco earth ball, we call ‘World.’ So i figured i would being my attempting to keep fit. WORDS OF THE FUCKING DEVIL. There i was sorting out the banking and cabbing it to my Mothers home to feed her cats, during her absence. Beautiful sunny day it was and Lord knows what happened? My mind got the better of me and failed me by fooling me into believing that a nice long WALK would be a great start to my new ‘keeping fit’ regime. If you know me personally, you know that i’m a cocktail kinda girl. I’m not a jogger. I’m not a worker outter. I’m a winker, giggler and a poshy drinker. My worst nightmare would be having to go to the gym and work out, especially if i had some evil trainer telling me to lunge for a good bum and flat stomach. Please! If i want a flat stomach and yummy bummy, i’ll just not eat carbs for a week and have a little chat with my bum. My body loves me. It listens more that it rebels.

But yeah, there I was in the middle of nowhere, about to take on a walk that would take me from one village to another and via what was meant to be a public fricking footpath. All i can say is, if you are going to put a sign up stating that there is a’ public footpath here’ with an arrow. IT BETTER HAVE PLACES TO PUT YOUR FEET and BE A PATH…and BE FOR THE PUBLIC. (Hang on one second, Keiran’s asking me for a Range Rover.)

Okay, so…hot sweaty day, i’m in a tiny denim skirt, a cute cricket jumper, my giant weave ‘o licious and my over the knee beige, wedgy FUR rimmed boots. I was armed with a handbag, a Blackberry and a plastic bag containing a red corset and some other girly essentials that you find in your mothers home, that you seemed to have left there when you were little.

WORST WALK EVER! JESUS! I must have walked miles and miles, through muddy crop fields,itchy  nettles, dark scary woods, more fields, through tunnels, over fences, jumped streams, through more fields. I looked around me and there was no end in sight and i had no idea where i was. There was no path. I couldn’t turn back and i had no idea what way was forward….hahah, There i was….with my weave, drama eyeshadow and attitude problem. I then decided to get scared…i’m handy like that and wiggly totteedr with fright in my eyes..in the blistering heat..forward. Well i hoped it was forward.

After about half an hour and with no signal. I finally manged to find some kind of PATH. OH GLORY!!! I run, skip and a hop, stop swearing and gallop towards it. There’s another sign reading ‘Public footpath this way.’ (It was pointing at a SWAMP. A fucking SWAMP.’) So i ignored it and instead went under this creepy bridge, like i was out of a disturbed fairytale, to the point where i actually voiced, ‘OMG i’m actually going to get kidnapped by goblins! Ah for fucks sake! I’ve just got married!!!’

The bridge was fine. Boring actually it. Got out the other end, could finally see civilisation, smile totter towards it and then get eaten by CRAZY LOOKING DOGS, who are angrily barking at me AND CHARGING AT ME, from a distance, out of a dodgy barn and then begin chewing on me…well on my beige wedgy, fur rimmed boots.

Even in that moment, i still refused to run. I don’t do running. I hate feeling sweaty. I’m rather get eaten by dogs. 🙂 But yeah, i hobbled onward, now with far less swag and finally see that i have phone reception. (At this point i’m thinking, i need to call a taxi to come get me.) I do what ever glamour puss must do in a situation of this sort and make her S>O>S call to her ‘handsome.’ A handsome hero always makes me feel calmer.

Get on the phone to Keiran, who picked up straight away due to being hungry and knowing his wife was nowhere to be found and what does he do….LAUGH at my distress and then tells me that i HAVE TO WALK THE REST OF IT HOME, because it really is good for me! UGH! I don’t know what i expected? Maybe for him to turn up from behind a nearby bush and helicopter me back to my safe and familiar back garden. But no, like a trooper…i had to go it alone and now with a ‘how long are you actually going to be, im hungry,’ looming over me. Lol. My stupid workout walk wasn’t only destroying my soul and my wedgey boots, but now also making people starve to death. I’m a marvel i know.

I still had a waaay way to go and how do you then think GOD decides to thank me for getting this far??!!?? He sends in ANOTHER DOG. One called ‘Bella’ with a middle aged, blond housewife owner, who eats Morrisons salad boxes and thinks her dog is her life. No sign of owner yet however and Bella the dog is now sniffing my bum and trying to eat me like it’s never seen a bit of Burmese bum before. UGH! That’s when the blond, middle aged housewife made a steady walk appearance, all ‘awww, isn[t she cute.’ Yeah sure, you’re dohs really sweet when she’s trying to eat me alive and abuse my bottom. Don’t worry, i’m not rude, i was raised well. I did that awkward pretend the dog is sweet thing…as it inappropriately sniffs my bum and chews my leg off. ‘Aww yeah, she’s really sweet, i love her…i thought i’d stop and wait for you. I didn’t want her to run onto the road.’ (It was then that i saw her Morrisons salad.) I now dislike dogs.

I get to the end of the giant foot path, which led me out onto a MAIN ROAD, a busy on with no pavement, where you look like a twat toddling down it, as oncoming traffic speeds by you at the speed of light. Lots of the traditional honking’ and ‘oohing.’ Lovely touch. Didn’t care. I’m now on familiar ground. It takes me ages to walk back. I stop at The Spar, buy a huge bottle of wine, drag my arse back home, swing open my gate, charge into my back garden, see my handsome husband Keiran, who’s literally pissing himself and cheering at my return. I laugh, i giggle, i perform a champion arm of victory and collapse on the sofa.

Don’t go on walks. It’s bad for you…at least i did it all in diamonds.

Love, Apes and Gold Digging

Good morning my delicious kitty cats if ‘hubba-hubba.’ I stayed awake reading all night, with my ‘fast asleep’ little Ruby laid by my right, trumping and snoring, like the purest little angel in all of the land. 🙂 When i say ‘reading,’ i simply mean ‘Googling’ things until my rather glamourous curiousity is fulfilled and at peace with the world. I can’t properly read at night, because i have rubbish working eyes. I’m not blind as a bat, as that would be almost better. I’m a contact lens wearer, with ‘just off’ vision. Worst thing ever, other than being felt up by 22 angry apes, under disco lighting. (Not sure where my imagination went then? Especially to say it’s a Sunday morning. A day where religion and all things churchy, swirl through the hearts and minds of many a do-gooder. I do just want you to note, that i am actually a ‘do gooder,’ i just DO ‘Good,’ in heels and in a tan, oh and armed with a huge amount of wit. For some reason it makes people think i’m a bad person. However, if i adore you…i am the best person you will ever know.) Anyway, yeah…what was i saying…? Oh yeah…having ‘just off’ vision is the worst when you have to take your, what i call ‘eyes’ out before bed, it’s like being not fun drunk, but with a giant weave in, to the point where you have to guzzle the Pinot in order to be able to see more clearly. I can’t believe that most people can see without the aid of lenses. As if i was born, having to PAY for my own sight. It like The Gods thought, ‘i know, we’ll bless her into a successful family, give her a classy start to life, a good education and an alright look when she grows up. We’ll move her to Hollywood and make her achieve a bundle of doo-daa’s that will put her name in almost lights. Infact, fuck it, lets make her a model, That’ll do her. We’ll move her back, place in a few more mags, plonk her on a tv show with that blond Hilton chick, give her a baby and then let her marry the man of her dreams. But hey, she can’t have it all…we’ll make her blind and unable to fully see. That’d be funny as fuck. Infact, we’ll make her have to purchase sight via direct debit, and give her a need for cocktail drinking and love. That way we can at least make a few bob out of her. Are we off to the pub?’ (I don’t know why, but that last bit of jolly nonsense, has just made me remember what a prick Boyband Jonny is. What a using little [swear here.] I can’t believe i once let an unworthy boy financially drain me for a short while, without realizing. Girls remember to only date ‘worth it’ males. Even if you go through the idiotic ones, i’m living proof that in the end, the man of your dreams WILL find you, when you’re ready and you’ll find him, when he’s ready. It’s what life is about. Anyway, enough about him, i’m picking that ye olde bit of paper up and setting it alight. *Tosses it over her shoulder.* Keiran helicopter wee’s all over him. I’m happy! It feels good and also somewhat relieving. I’m a lucky little kitty.

Okay, so yesterday Ruby went to Pete’s for an hour, for a mild bit of ‘playtime.’ She ended up having to come home early, because she apparently got there, had a bit of a play, got bored, walked to her shoes and socks, put them on and asked for her bike to take her home. Aww.

When she did arrive home, the first thing she asked for was for me to turn on my laptop and show her a picture of Keiran. So i popped one up and with a bizarre *shriek* of delight screamed joyously, like she has just won the Euromillions, all ‘Daddy, daddy daaaadddy.’ Then she looked at the tv, saw the Calvin Klein advert, pointed and shrieked ‘DAAADDDDY’ again, because she thought David Beckham, was Keiran. (I’ve taught her well, she has good taste. I will say however, that i never went through the David Beckham crush thing, that every girl seemed to go through. I don’t tend to follow suit, i just fancy who i actually  fancy, regardless as to who society says we’re meant to fancy. Lol. (It’s weird how people do that isn’t it. They just decide to fancy whoever’s popular at the time and because the media have told them that that’s who everyone should fancy and well along with ‘high-fiving’…i find that bizarre.) I mean, yeah i get that the chica’s will fancy him due to his high earning wage and his glorious bundle of fame. I admire him for that. I adore successful people. He’s a wonderfully, deserving talent. YET, it doesn’t make me fancy him, it just makes me feel inspired by him. Don’t get the two twisted girls. Gold digging is hideous and makes your life empty. Often people want to be with people who are already in a place where they wish they were in life. That isn’t love. That’s ambition. If you want to get to that place, work hard at your talent and get there yourself. It’s far more rewarding. I’ve left many a successful man in Hollywood, simply because they weren’t my perfect and no amount of fame or money could fill that ‘love’ void. Now i know why…and because one day, which is this time in my life, i was set to meet the ultimate man of my entire dreams, who ticks all my boxes and IS my ABSOLUTE perfect. The only man i would ever want to do life with, grow with, love with , be with and succeed with. A man who is my best friend, who understands me, who loves me more than the world and who works hard for what he wants in life, yet at the same time wouldn’t mind having it all given to him, so he can chill in luxury in his slippers. 🙂 I’ts okay to want luxury, as long as you know what is actually important in life. 🙂 People (well not the people that went to the wedding, you saw the weepy groom breakdown) may look at Keiran and I and underestimate how much we deeply love each other, because we look like a pretty boy and asian bimbo, who married each other based upon a a six pack and a pair of boobs. We’re not that stupid. We get on sooo well and are soo weirdly connected to one another romantically,that it’s truly crazy. I really am not exaggertaing when i’m telling you we’re living a fairytale, Married life is wonderful!! We’re taking good care of each other…and it’s bliss. I want to be the best wife to him ever, as he wants to be the best husband the world has ever seen. It’s cute!

This blog was meant to be my wedding and telling you about all the companies i used to help make the day perfect. Oops! That’ll have to be the next one, as i’ve waffled on dramatically for ages about love, apes and gold digging instead. Jeeze! I’ll never learn 😉

Happy Sunday!  I adore being Mrs.Thompson.



Meet me on Cloud 9


Went to the supermarket today…a place that i loathe due to intense, poor, bright lighting and cold lanes filled with meat and bargain stickers on them. All i needed was washing up liquid. Came back with EVERYTHING under the fricking sun, from fillet steak to random organic unsweetened, dairy-free milk, a lottery ticket, a bottle of Pinot Grigio, a bag of Monster Munch for Ruby…but yeah…no washing up liquid. UGH! When you fail to purchase the one main thing that you took the journey to purchase…especially when you’re now a wifey, you can no longer label yourself the ‘Domestic Goddess of the year.’ But ah well…i leave that to the better wives. i’m good at the ‘loving’ part. The washing up liquid can wait. (FYI/ I’m super missing Keiran LOADS, whilst he’s away. I got really used to him looking after him and him being home, falling asleep on his lap and giggly cuddling him, with baby voices.) However, today Rubes and I ‘got on with it,’ she did her cutesy wootsie thing and i did my usual ‘mummy-love’ wallowing of her. She was actually really naughty in the supermarket, yet the masses didn’t quite help me, by ‘awwing’ at her every tiny, very naughty move….making her applaud herself after each bit of demon, in curly pigtails tantrum. Ruby is like me, when i was 20. However, she is only ONE YEARS OLD! (Keiran..my utter dream man and now husband #yay…i still adore saying it…sent me a text today at 17.18 reading, ‘I can’t get over how beautiful you are babe. You’re absolutely goregous. xx’ I just can’t believe how i’ve managed to be married to the most amazing man ever. I think we’re both in shock that we’ve managed to convince the other, so quickly to love us and without much convincing. We’re really lucky and i know i keep saying it, but well being newlyweds is the best thing ever. IT’S AMAZING! We’ve really taken it on and embraced it wholeheartedly. I feel whole, loved and blessed….then a letter came in the post stating that Keiran had got a road traffic ticket, after driving in a bus lane. Pictures of us tooting along in his van and everything. Notthingham is hardcore! Do not drive in bus lanes over there..you WILL GET FINED.)

The National Lottery is currently on and i’m hoping that i win. If not this time, some other time is fine. I think it’s be hilarious and i’d finally be able to doggie paddle in the pink lit ‘dream house’ pool, before swimming to my island indoor pool bar, with my tiara firmly in place. That’s exactly how i imagine my immediate future, but better. When you have the most beautiful daughter and you’re married to the most wonderful man, all that’s left is that..and by ‘that,’ i do mean doing well and purchasing luxury. The idea of chilling all day, doing work that i adore, whilst grooming and up-keeping my appearance, which is difficult as the years go by, is utter bliss to me. We’ll get there. I’m working on it. The meetings have been scheduled, but what you all can do is begin my BUYING MY BOOK. LOOK RIGHT, CLICK AND PURCHASE. 🙂

The Hollywood in me, makes me adore the self grooming. The wives in that town spend a lot of time and money on themselves and the art of ‘looking delicious.’ I like that. I’m soothed by it and well Keirans’ the kinda dear fellow who enjoys that about me too. In Yorkshire, there’s not so much of that…is there? And yeah i get the whole, love is love and your ‘handsome’ loves you anyway, even with no face, ya scrunchie and your tracksuit on. I’m just naturally not of that sort. I’m naturally Glamour Pussy and i have no idea why? But i like it and i never want that to change. I think it’s a girls perogative to be delicious, as much as possible. Just because you’re a wifey now, or you’ve been with someone a long time, or you’re now a tired mum, it doesn’t mean you have to let yourself go. Embrace ‘ooh laa’ and enjoy it…Now i’m not saying all women should now reach for their lippy, high heels, leopard print nighty and botox treaments. I’m just saying that it’s important that you are yourself, who you are naturally and be able to embrace it. That way your womanly ‘glow’ (that your mister finds sexy) radiates. But more importantly it makes YOU feels sexy and when you feels sexy, then the ‘handsomes’ benefit anyhow. 😉

Anyway i must go, as there’s Pinot Grigios to be drank and baby Ruby is making medo the ‘hokey cokey’ with her, mid blog. Right now i’m feeling MADLY IN LOVE. It’s a glorious feeling and i hope you all, if you don’t already feel it, are blessed with such an ooze of flutter. I’m actually remember this time ( i think it was our second date, where Keiran invited me out to dinner at an Indian restuarant. He greeted me, when i got there and when i sat down at the table, ready to make a drink order, the waiters came out with a giant beautiful bouquet of flowers for me, that he had secretly organzied beforehand. I adore romance. I have the most loving hubby ever! CLOUD 9!

Perfectly Impractical and a bunch of raw meat

You know married life is perfect, when your brand new hubby to be, in his utter moment of absolute ‘on a raw foods diet,’ hunger, eyes YOU up, then eyes up an under cooked egg that is seemingly waiting for his delicious attention, all bald and sexy, with an ‘eat me papa, eat me,’ roll in it’s manner, then eyes YOU up again, when you are now all glamour pussy and doughie eyes, with warm open arms, awaiting a smoochie and a cuddle….only to then see ‘the hubbster’ take one long, final, lustful look at the overly flirtatious under cooked eye, before he comes running into your merry kitten arms, for a cuddle…with a ‘Baby i love you. You are SO good to me.’ He did with laughter quite honestly state that there was a brief moment where his caveman instinct did run the internal mind question of ‘what’s more important to me, my wife or an egg?’ 🙂 Yet the moral of the story is a good man will always make the right decision for both his lady and his very handsome self. Haha. Adopting a new raw food regime makes you hungry all the time and makes you think eggs are a sexier pull then ‘Chrissie Wunna.’ So i’ll forgive him. 🙂 However,  I am feeding Keiran pretty much every hour and a half and with utter glee. (I weirdly enjoy feeding him. It’s like a new game called ‘Wifey.’ I’m actually a much better wife than i am a girlfriend. Who’da thought! He’s well impressed with me so far, as I am him. We ended that previous egg converstaion with kisses and then proceeded to pretend that we were Prince Harry and ‘some bird’ in Vegas. I found myself being thrown up and down into the air, with my little Burmese legs, straddled around my chunk-a-hunka’s waist, and my arms playfully around his neck, whilst giggling and ‘ooh’ facing, in the mirror behind him, as we pretended to play ‘sexytime’ for random comedy value, by two artificial rose trees that we haven’t yet sent back to the store after renting them for the wedding. We have such a wonderful relationship, that i can’t even believe how magical it actually is! I have married the most amazing man ever…and well i’m sure i deserve a trophy or something for it, as i’ve certainly down Cupid proud, now that i’m a love bunny poster child….on the Pinot Grigio. We’re really happy and when a girl marries the man of her dreams, she feels alive, loved and looked after. When a guy marries his dream girl, he feels loved, secure and well…like a fricking  hero. It works. I love that he looks at me and tells me what a wonderful wife i am and how beautiful i am. The fairytale couldn’t be written any better…we’ve even stopped fighting. That’s been shelved away with a gummy label suck stamped to it reading ‘PAST.’ I’ve kicked it into a dusty closet somewhere for rats to eat and wee on. Were moving forward in our brand new chapter and although we’re very much still on Cloud 9, we are now back to work, reality and treating ourselves to a future of champions. (Note to all women: If a man is on the raw foods diet, he is horny all of the time..be warned. Our sex life has always been fantastic but now that we’re married and he’s eating caveman style…it is phenominal!)

Anyway…i’ve been really really productive today. I’m having the worst luck with laptops, however i’ve finally managed to find my tiny pink laptop that Wazza fixed in the bottom of Rubys toy box, under some counting book and a pink ‘freaks me out’ battery operated fluffy dog, that wlaks and barks when you don’t want it to. Now that i’m all wed and chipper, it’s time to get back to work and if anything i’ve been on it like a chief. i’ve always been someone that wants to do well in life and well i believe if you try that little bit harder than most, you’ll get there…and i will.

Today, i managed to make a delicious circle of phone calls. No-one picked up, So i glamourously sipped a wee bit of my morning wine :), adjusted my tiara, picked up my Blackberry and made the same calls again. IMMEDIATELY. This time two of them picked up, so i felt far better about myself and my quest to take over the world and be like Bethenny the NYC ‘Real Housewife’ who sold her skinnygirl cocktail brand for $100 million dollars. I then re-blushered, winked at my mirror image…and made the same calls again. It worked. I’m a glitzy kitty fantastico. So hopefully i’ll have all my meeting sorted and scheduled in no time.

The thing about life and especially my life…with the people in it, is that something always happens, but something always happens because i’ve always put them into motion and maybe forgotten about them.

Keiran and i got a good news phone call the other evening. One of those where you can get all excited and take a big deep breathe with a ‘yeah baby.’ Before the wedding, maybe like a month before, we went to Manchester to audition for a show. We found out the evening before yesterday that we had got on it. So just like that, when we though the wedding was the biggest thing we could ever do, life lets us *pause* for a second, then throws us another juicy bone of excitment, to keep us on the right path, which is rolling to success and hopefully a bar. A posh one.

But yeah…in a week (and Keiran’s currently away working. He left this morning looking far to hot for 6am, with a kiss and a mild moan about his legs not working due to him blasting them out at football practice, running club, the gym and sex..) we’ll be heading over to London to do one whple day of filming for ITV with none other than the ‘done extremely well for himself’ Mark Wright! How amazing! I can’t tell you anything else…yet we’re really happy to have been given such an opportunity. So we’ll see…and you’ll see when it’s on the telly box. We’re so lucky right now! It’s crazy. I mean, this time last year-ish we were just about to meet, we got together, we dated immediately, fell in love, after 5 weeks, he prososed, we did romance, dates, love, my birthday, our first Christmas, the new year, Valentines day, Baby Ruby’s first birthday, followed by a photoshoot for More Magazine. We then raised £4000 for charity,in a week with Radio Aire as part of their ‘5Brides 1 Wedding’ competition. The More magazine article came out. Keiran was in it twiced and then booked modelling jobs where he strutted his stuff on a catwalk a jolly few times, modelling for London and Liverpool fashion week, we went to auditions, we travelled to London and pounded the pavement with agencies, we changed our lives, we celebrated him birthday in a forest log cabin. I then got on a show…we both began filming for it and well we still are. During that time, we arranged a wedding in two months and had the most beautiful day when we finally married this Aug 12th…it’s been one week and we’re now off to London in a week to do more filming for a new show…at the same time as him working and running his security company, me organizing my book and continuing filming the current show that i’m honoured to be a part of. WTF! It’s amazing! Then with all of that we get to watch little Baby Ruby grow up right before our very eyes…talking, walking and wiggling away with her curly pigtails and cheeky eyes. I feel really really blessed.

LIFE IS GOOD! Not just for me, but for everyone, you just need to be able to see it and filter out the parts and the people who litter it with negativity and surround yourself with good people, and even greater habits. You will not go wrong then. Especially if you’re in killer heels. *Yeah baby.*

I had to do a quick baby interview today for a ‘biog,’ which ended up with both ends of the phone call in stitches. It’s my favourite thing to do…chitter chatter about nonsense with a giggle, for the art of entertainment. I can’t remember all of the convo as excitement got the better of me, but i do remember saying ‘i just sort of sat in the corner, fanned myself and pouted at my mirror image.’:) Then i remember saying something about how ‘scrubbing gussets’ didn’t make me sound very glitzy and that i was highly impractical and had no idea how anyone keeps things tidy, with me being a more of a ‘kick off my kitten heels’ kinda gal.

Anyway, i home Friday treats you as well and finds you as much of a delight as I do!

It’s vino o clock here in Wunna Land…even though i’m now a ‘Thompson.’ I can’t wait for Rubes to get home, we’re having a Mummy/Daughter slumber party tonighta…it always just ends with me getting slapped. #yippee (I’m missing Keiran already.)


Back to Business, Love and Wine

This part of my life, i’m naming the ‘BEST PART OF MY LIFE.’ I finally feel complete enough to have the kitty cat foundation to zoom forward with a mighty *Kapow* and make all my darling dreams of glitter come true. I’ve done well in life, which to me is only well-ish. I’ve always been of an ambitous nature and well in my mind if you’re not thinking big, then there’s no point in thinking at all. I weirdly always thought that i was powered by money, however now i’ve realized that i’m 100% completely powered by love, meaning i’m not as shallow as i thought! Yippeee! *Booty dance here.* Keiran and Ruby have sauntered, (well Rubes squeezed her way into life via my delicious lady part, that right now i feel like calling ‘Shaniqua,’) and they have become my world, my solid foundation of strong, glitzy root. When you have that you can conquer anything. So i now feel like i can pull my Glamour Puss stockings up, cream on that extra bit of lippy, and with a giant business ‘to-do’ list…in heels and with swag, get back to business and make my mark on this world. However, now i come as a threesome. (We always did think that would happen. 😉 ) Therefore at 31, i’m taking them all with me. Most people accumulate baggage. Luckily, i travel light, when it comes to issues and drama, i’ve had a great life and a wonderful time of this earth ball so far. (I’m more together than people think.) I accumalate humans and take them on a journey with me. Yet these two humans are the two humans that i adore under the neon sign of ‘Truly.’ The goal right now is to get back into entertainment, meaning the three of us…and all so we can spend the rest of our life sunbathing and dossing around with a vino, from all the love moola we’ve accidentally managed to make. 🙂 (I weirdly need a  wine now.) To get things in life, you do have to work hard and you do have to put yourself in a position to get what you want. You can do anything because everything you want to do, someone somewhere has already done it. I feel feitsty, strong and sexy right now, so i’m going with ‘why can’t i frollock under a ‘superstar’ label!!’  I deserve it…i’ve pounded the glitzy pavement so much, that now, with the basic ‘ooh laa’ in place (which took years and in two different countries,) i’m at the point where i just need to edge it in the correct direction, with gin, and leave the rest to the natural flow if Wunna Land. Which is also known as ‘LUCK.’ (A lady in Santander today, thought i was 17 today and tried to make me open an under 18’s account, with her? Keiran explained that i was this wife…which maybe didn’t make him look to great. Lol. But, i love being 31 and well when i was 23 i wouldn’t mind someone flying me with the ‘ooh you look 17’ frisbee of love. Yet now that i’m an oldie and on a new raw foods eating regime…i’m terrified that i’m going to look like a skinny 8 year old child, who was tied to a donkey on her arrival into Britain, after a 92 day journey in a UHaul fridge freezer, looking for hope, a visa and a flipping bacon sandwich.

Anyway, on the love front, being a new wifey is a dream. Keiran and I are madly in love, more than we ever have been and we make a better husband and wife then we ever thought. It’s very cuddle-cuddle-kiss fest right now and well we’ve always been a couple of that sort, yet now we’re soo comfortable around each other that i don’t think ANY other man or ANY other woman could ever know us the way we know each other. He looks at me and smiles, whilst saying ‘I’m so happy we’re married. I love having you as my wife.’ THEN he puts us both on a RAW food diet, where yes, everything we now eat is not cooked, be it fish, meat or veg and we’re doing this to get healthy and yeah i do feel healthier, howeer i tell you know, it’s quite quite OUCHY! It’s actually not as hard as you think, but you ARE STARVING all of the time. Keiran’s having to eat constantly and i’m tied to the kitchen trying to conjour up poor Chrissie attempts (lol) at delicious raw food meals. Luckily, i’m having wine inbetween to take the edge of it all. 🙂 Keiran ( my hubby, my man of yummy dreams) has dedicated himself to what seems like a great deal of activity. He’s signed up to running club, a football team, he wants a road bike and is getting back into the gym. Like i said, i’ve chosen ‘wine drinking’ as my sport. The hair-tossing that takes place and the accidental wiggling, during the sips…really does take it out of you. Therefore before you shun my workout…know that it’s genius. SO THERE! We’re happy, we can’t believe how we’ve managed to achieve so much emotionally and be so close in just under a year. I mean this time a year ago, we didn’t even know each other. Now, we’re married, starting a career together, raising baby Ruby and planning another. It could happen to you and let us both tell you, it is far more magical than you will ever think it is.

But yes, we’re slowly getting back into work mode, from ‘fairytale.’ We’ve had a glorious week. I’ve been emailing good old entertain folk in , jolly old high places, sorting out the book, talking to agents and making the plan very clear in my head. You can’t do anything without a plan. I hate ti when people say you can. I look like the kinda kitten who never has a plan, because i PR’ed myself as a messy, accidental ‘almost there’ success. That wasn’t at all true. I’ve always been a plotter, a business minded chica… a planner.  That’s how i’ve done well whenever i’ve managed to do well. All the times i didn’t…i tossed it off and didn’t focus. I time wasted…and partied and…well you know the score. Now i have a family, a foundation and we all have the same dream…we’re moving forard and i promise you, we’ll do it like champs. (Keiran and I were invited to a celeb charity do in Nottingham last Saturday. We drove down, stayed at The Hilton, went to the shindig and loved it. Not only did we have a piccie with the Olympic torch, but we managed to hang out with he girl who has the biggest natural boobs in Britain. He loved that! He LOVED THAT. He was a like an uncalmable little boy, trying to ‘play it cool.’ HAHAHA. We also watched Chloe Pownall sing again. Amazing talent and only 15. She sang at our wedding and well the entire room was in utter awe of her. WE LOVE HER! Plus, we finally got to thank Mark at MBM Events (who actually did our wedding) and enjoy his night in Notthingham for the Lymphoma charity. (More about Mark later.)

Anyway, everyone was lovely to us and we actually weirdly felt like stars. Keiran’s not used to such ‘hoopla’…and well he adored it. Entertainment is certainly his thing. He’s the kinda boy who loves a bit of filming, hand shaking, adoration and fun. We’re very much alike..which pretty much makes it all easier. However, he does get grumpy everytime i try and work. Like, he’ll be working non-stop on his laptop and if i walk into the room looking like i’m about to get some work done, he’ll hate that i’m not giving him attention and in the cutest, ‘little boy’ way try to gain a bit of ‘look at me.’ Usually, it’s moaning. But today it was in the form of his willy. It worked. He won. The blog waited. We’ve had the most playful day together from the minute one. We’ve tickled and giggled, he’s wrestled me, boobie squeezed me and well all sorts…some of it’s far too dodgy to mention and dodgy because it was all performed in jest, meaning we have tragic sense of humours.  We’ve had the perfect time and just the fact that we both know we have each other ‘forever’ has made all the difference.

Okay, i have to go because i’ve run out of things to say and i’m waiting for that important email that never seems to come when you need it too. I’m blocking in my filming dates, sending our wedding photos to the magazines that have requested them, sorting out the book and the tour and organizing life back in entertainment. My diamantes have fallen off and well this wine won’t drink itself. 😉

Love you. x


Above: Ruby being a kitten all day and Keiran *swoon here* doing his first ever husbnady lawn mow. DELICIOUS! Fittest family ever!



Just call me ‘Mrs.Thompson’


Well we did it!!! Keiran and I married on August 12th 2012, at the beautiful Oulton Hall, in Leeds, and had the most magical day EVER!!! I haven’t blogged in a week and simple because the fluttery joys of married life, that we call our ‘fairytale’ has got the better of us. I mean, if you can’t enjoy your first week in as ‘husband & wifey’ than you ceratinly won’t be able to enjoy the lifetime that comes after it. I am literally OVER THE MOON and to be honest, i always knew we were as close as can be, however since being married, we have been nothing but ‘even more perfect.’ Our relationship and the level of love we tango on, has rocketted up to Cloud 9 and then some, with a glittery spray of blissful giggles. I never thought we could even be any better and well i have never loved Keiran more than i love him right now. It has been the best thing we have EVER done and well like Keiran tweeted the other day, ‘if i could do my wedding all over again i love, i love @chrissiewunna with every little bit of me.’ AWWW… He’s always been a good boyfriend, an even better fiance, yet my lovely bit of ‘handsome’ is an EVEN BETTER husband. I have this fairytale man of Wunna perfection, who’s there for me with his heart, six pack, boner, love and doughie eyes and we’re finally officially doing forever. #eek. I wish i could tell you all about the day, because it was astoundingly beautiful and the perfect place for us to dedicate our lives together. Everyone we cared about surrounded us and were there to witness our union being blessed. The room was filled with love for us and that made it all the better. It couldn’t have been more perfect. Except we want to do it over and over again, to relive each breath of it. It was an exciting day, a happy day, a day filled with magic and that moment when the white flowy drapes parted and i peeked through the curtain to do my steady isle walk up to the man of my dreams, with my Daddy on my arm, the beautiful Kelly away infront of me and excitement in my eyes,  only to get to the top, see him..my gorgeous little Keiran, who then broke down into tears of utter love…

From that point on, he had won over every female and infact male heart in the entire room….and earned his title as heart throb.(He’s actually made every girl i know threaten their boyfriend with an ‘If you don’t cry like that when we get married, i’m not doing it!!!’ 🙂 )  The ceremony was a dream, there were crowd tears everywhere,  camera women crying and Keiran weeping all the way through it and well it apparently not only moved everyone, but shocked everyone. I think they had a weird moment of ‘omg they actually love each other.’ Lol. It’s almost like it’s unbelievable that we have utter cryey feelings for one another. Hah.

The vows came. Keiran weeped through those too. I had a baby sized princess weep through the final part of mine and then before you know it, half an hour had passed, we were sat at the table signing the registry and BOOM…we were not only married, but when we did actually look up, we were greeted by what we call ‘Guest paparazzi.’ It was just a flash of constant camera lights and smiles and well we looked at each other, with beaming wholehearted smiles and simply whispered, ‘WE DID IT.’

The rest is secret and will come out in bits of bobs of my blog, as i go along in flashback form. It was such a whirlwind of a day and mainly wanted to say THANK YOU to everyone who came. Like Keiran said in his speech, we only invited those close to us, who had supported our relationship from the beginning, and you all warmly have. Infact you were all perfect. We felt very lucky and very honoured. I had the most gorgeous bridesmaid Kelly, who looked like a Greek Goddess…even though she believed she looked like a condom and to have both Kelly and Phil there, (who pretty much held our relationship together during the weeks before) at our top table meant the world to us. We owe them alot. Then there were our families. I mean, we were do lucky to have our entire families there celebrating our marriage with us over candlelabra light, perfect pink lillies and champagne. Old friends, new friends, and booze wrapped in white draping filled the air from that point on. The wedding seemed to last for ages! YET, at the same time it flew by for Keiran and I!

The rest you’ll see anyhow, as it all managed to get filmed for your telly box, and well we can’t wait to see it!! Ruby loved the day. Our bridal suite was delicious, all giant and four poster bedded, like we were Kings and Queens of the world. (We didn’t even check out until 6pm 🙂 and they didn’t care. I will tell you more about why in another blog. FUN TIMES, with Emma and Goodhall.


But yeah..i’ll leave you with a few piccies from our guests for you to gander at! Perfect day. Keiran and I are currently gushing with utter happiness and can’t believe we’re actually married. It’s perfect! I feel amazing! Home life is wonderful, our love life is wonderful, the finances are a blooming and work is coming our way. We have a yummy baby Ruby and we can’t thank my mum and dad enough for throwing us such a wonderful wedding in just 2 months flat! Wowsers! (I’ll be blogging all the people we used in a further blog, incase you’re getting married and need a little help.)


Love you all! Thank you for following our lives! We’re still enjoying our time with one another, wallowing in a fairtyale of married life….(we’ve actually learnt to love and respect each other more and it had certainly given us that grounding security that we both needed. We have our foundation now and can’t wait to move forward in our joyous quest to..yeah…take over the world.


I’ll check in later, as Keiran’s getting narky about me being on my laptop, pining for some attention and some sweet wifey loving. He even resorted to doing a naked, raw egg, shot in order to grab my attention. When a man does that…you just have to ‘sign out’ and get to winking.

Have a wonderful day. Keep life sexy.

‘Getting a wee bit excited’

My legs are killing! Yesterday was a glorious day of ‘love bunny.’ Keiran and I are now truly embracing our week run up to the big day by loving each other with an innocent ‘ooh,’ loving each other with a not so innocent bit of naked ‘ooh’ (*wink-spurt*) and actually getting excited, over champagne, with kiddie snacks for our Sunday of ‘down the isle.’ OMG! I can’t wait. He is being the absolute perfect hubby-to-be and well what i know about him, is that when it comes to what matters, in the end, he always makes the right and most romantic choices. We’re in love and Wunna land couldn’t be more ‘fairytale’ right now.
I’ve currently sent him on a quick stress buster head massage, in order to hurry him ‘ouchy’ head to ‘Mmm bliss.’ He has a little boy smile on his face and can’t wait to say his ‘i do’s.’ (Last night on the sofa, he looked at me like he couldn’t love me enough and with a giggly bit of ‘aww’…told me to never break his heart. It kinda took me back to the night when he proposed…well before he proposed and he placed my hand on his ‘party’ heart, told me it was mine and that i was never ever to hurt it or break it. Half an hour later…he asked me to marry him. 🙂 I will say that in our relationship i may have been a ‘diva’ at the best of times, however that moment, our relationship and my promise to be his wife, has never ever been broken. I have always honoured that. The bubble is bliss right now and with only 6 days to go…we’re resting up and enjoying every delicious moment of the build up.
Okay, so i spent the evening with my hubby-to-be, with two bottles of champagne and watching the Olympics. The Olympics are worrying. I’m loving them, however, i don’t think they’re good for me. After sighting world champions cycle, bounce or sprint their way to success, i decided i was chubby and unfit, so unfortunately made the executive decision to WALK to the supermarket to buy us comforting snacks of the ‘yum-yum’ variety. (I’ve given up on my wedding diet. I need choccie love right now, now wheat free bread. The plus side is, at least i don’t have to have my dress fitted now. My hips grew. Hurrah! It’s certainly one way to save money. Eat comfort food.)
I’m a glamour puss, so walking anywhere is a chore. Let alone walking BACK with £60 ounds worth of snacks, and having to carry it all at around 8pm. Looong much. We’ve stated that i have rubbish arms. they can’t open bottles of pop, let alone carry bags filled with ‘yum-yum’ and champagne!! Now, i’ve realized that my legs are also rubbish. I finally got home to my ‘Handsome Keiran cheering at my return. I smiled, felt shattered and asked him if i won or came last? 🙂 Then we stuffed our faces with cocktail sausages, humous, olives, chocolate and everything else…under our little chandelier.
The wedding planning is actually going really well. I’ve still got a few niggly bits to do, however, it’s all coming together now and i’m enjoying every moment! It’s wonderful to have Keiran back and now the big things are done, i can sit back and wiggle my way through the little. (God, i’d do anything for a whopper right now.)
I will be giving you all the list of people, companies and ideas i’ve used in order to make this Wunna-Thompson wedding work. (Incase you have an uncoming bit of ‘i do’ and need help.) But i’m happy. Super dooper excited and have not much left, but a candy bar, trees, a bit of filming, final payments, (courteousy of my parents,) palce cards and table plans to do.) All else is good. Except i still have to type out romantic facts about Keiran and I to let our guests know a little bit more about us. (Over a 4 course dinner and booze.) Yippee.
We’re really looking forward to seeing you all and can’t wait to get to Sunday 2pm. Like i said on Friday we have our family dinner, then on Saturday we check into the hotel for a day of spa and pamper. We’ll be spending the night apart, but then enjoying the next morning where we get married. 🙂 AND with our trusted crew of filming, family and friends.
I must go, as i still have niggly things to do…but i love you…and i’ll be keeping you updated as we get to our big day!
6 days and counting….I’m marrying the man of my dreams.

‘The Final *Bouji* Countdown’

Run off my feet! Or should i say, run off my tiny size 3 stilettos, without a wine and with a head (and a happy head may I add,) that is constantly on the glitzy move. The cogs are finally turning (*cheer here*) and well i’ve gotten quite into this being productive and ‘organizing things’ malarky. My career and home life…i’m good at organizing and do it with a shimmie and flair so delicious you could sizzle a firecracker off me. However, PARTIES (be it a wedding, a birthday, a launch, or a pity) i’m rubbish at and well at first i had no clue why, as i’ve been labelled ‘The Queen’ of a bouji bit of ‘party party’ (that’s my past) and apparently been given trophies for it and a career because of it. But I now realize that i’ve only ever been a GUEST at parties, be it a VIP guest, a troublesome guest, a fun guest, a hot guest or the guest that no-one likes. Meaning…i know how to GO to a party, but throwing one is a whole different matter. That’s why my book launch shindig went pear shaped..which i will be doing again next month-ish. Yet, after learning that if you want something to be magical and you’re the delicious ‘Chrissie Wunna,’ you just do it yourself and with nipple tassles on. The wedding will be AMAZING and because in such a short space of time, so much has been managed, juggled, spritzed, glittered and pulled out of everywhere to make it that way. I’m classing it as one of the most important days of my life, because when you choose to fall head over heels in love, at 31, after really thinking you would never marry again, never find that perfect man, due to no-one being ‘worth it’ and going through life all head strong and vixen, but with your fingers secretly crossed behind your back, with your hand over your heart, wishing to one day be loved the way you’ve always wanted to be, by a gent….Only to then accidentally meet the man of your entire dreams and after 5 weeks become his ‘almost wife,’ and an ‘almost year’ later choose to dedicate your glitzy ‘rest of your years’ to him…you class that as ‘big.’ REALLY BIG! I have met my ‘perfect’ and i never ever thought that there was my absolute perfect man out there…but there is…and luckily (and we all know i am a lucky fucker 🙂 ) i’m MARRYING HIM…and IN SEVEN DAYS!!
Okay, so the weekend was busy. I was mildy stressed, but due to a distinct lack of ‘shut eye, ‘ but i’m enjoying it. It was the last weekend before the wedding and well it was all candles, flowers, candy floss, candy, trees, dove releases, confetti showers and madness. All this with my gorgeous little Ruby in one arm and my mother…in the other. 🙂 There’s a point in life where you find yourself rushing around, but still with a glass of champagne in your right, a tree in your left, a daughter attached to your ankles making pretend Blackberry phonecalls to Miss.Piggy, whilst ordering a white dove release for the wedding, followed by 36 bottles of bubbles and 5 confetti ‘shooter’ showers…where you just have to sit back, find your inner Glamour puss and giggle. I mean, at first, i was super stressed and panicking over nothing. When really it’s greatness, to be blessed with such comedic memories…in the name of love. I’m chilled. But i’m focussed…but i’m on it…car bonnet. There’s a lot to do and well up until the last minute…i’ll be thundering away. I didn’t even get it all done Saturday, so it spilt into all day Sunday…and i STILL didn’t manage to get it al done. However, i’m lucky. I have a wonderful family, a lot of support, a beautiful daughter, a career and well i’m marrying the most amazing man in this entire world. We’ve had our ups and downs and always managed to get it back to ‘fairytale’ and quickly. However, Keiran has REALLY impressed me over the last week. I love being impressed..and well when a glamour puss is impressed, you’ll have her heart forever…and he does. (My friend Emily just pointed out that this time next week, will be my first day of married life with the ‘handsome.’) I’ve just thought..isn’t it weird how in the past on this blog, i’ve always referred to the ‘boys’ who have tinkered around my love life with a label. Yet with Keiran…even though i do label him with a ‘handsome’ infront of his name…i’ve always referred to as Keiran. I’ve never done that before..meaning what i feel for him is real.
On the mummy front, Ruby decided to projectile vomit upon herself repeatedly by a sweet shop, then a suit shop, and in a black Mercedes. THEN when she felt better, witnessed me cuddling her Disney Store ‘Miss Piggy’ and in a fit of absolute envy, screamed ‘NOOoooooooo noooooOOO,’  at her, as she thundered across the room toward me, RIPPED her out of my arms, flung her across the room, MADE ME tell ‘Miss Piggy’ off, only for HER to re-tell ‘Miss.Piggy’  off, then when she was down, (with her curly piggy locks, and evening gown) STOMPED ON HER HEAD!! #jeepers. Either she doesn’t like blondes, she doesn’t like pigs, or she’s jealous. I have no idea where she might get that from? 🙂 But don’t worry good folks…she recieved a stern telling off, a finger point, a lesson in love and now they cuddle with an ‘aww.’ (…ish.)
On the shocker much….Keiran’s home. He left on Friday to Amsterdam to tend to his ‘do’ of ‘Stag.’ He wasn’t meant to be back until Tuesday…infact maybe even the early hours of Wednesday morning…last night at around 10am, my garden sensor light beams, i have a little window peeky, as i’d have no idea who it was…and knocking on the door, is ‘The Stag,’ MY Stag….home early…and after only two days away? I mean, i was really happy to have him home and we had a wine whilst watching the ‘Sex and the City’ movie…but i was in total *shock,* as i didn’t expect him home? It kinda makes me feel bad, as i told him that he was entitled to a ‘stag do.’ But, he says that he felt bad, as i was having to run around organizing the wedding all by myself and i didn’t end up going out over the weekend or doing my hen do, due to a distinct lack of time and a whole lot more to organize, stating that he wanted to be here for me and help..and therefore came home early. Then he wanted cuddles, talked ‘love’ and wanted me to tickle him non-stop until he fell asleep. (He’s currently in bed sleeping off his weekend festivities. If anything he’s the one that needs the rest. Not only has he been working away for hours on end, under fed, under loved and with all that dipped in utter exhaustion. But, when you add partying to that…the picture ain’t too pretty. In my mind, he has a few days to recover ..y’know get back to ‘normal’ and the final days to salute ‘normal’ and move forward, upward and merrily, filled with a strong ‘ooh laa’ to ‘Yeah baby’ happy.
Friday is our joint family dinner and then Sunday…we get married. 2pm Oulton Hall.
Welcome to Wunna Land.
Thank you for following (well i always say my, but i guess i should say ‘our’) lives.
We love you. x *Morning wine here*

‘It’s Pretty Much Only a Weeky…Peeky.’

Goodness! Okay, so i’m in positive, but frantic wedding mode. There are boxes and roses and sweet stands littering the entire world of Wunna, alongside a strundle of RSVP’s (which i need back pronto) and good, happy…MADNESS.
Keiran and I (along with the help of our the darling Phil & Kelly) have had an AMAZING last two days with each emotionally. The wedding is pretty much only a week away and we’re not only living a diamond dripped fairytale of ‘ooh’..but we’re doing it hand in hand, heart on heart and with a smiles that could even make Cupid’s heart flutter. Things are coming into place and well we’ve realized that the only thing that matters on our wedding day is us, our love, our union and the fact that on August 12th, 2012, we will dedicate our delicious lives to one another…in a big dress and tail coat, letting the world bless our ‘togetherness’ over true love, fate and luckily champagne.
Now, we’ve had a lot of ups and our merry share of downs. But what we have we are tremendously lucky to have. So we’re happy, we’re enjoying every little moment of it and we’re cuddling our way to marital bliss and hopeful success. We’ve learnt a lot about each other, live and love since knowing each other and well we’ve weirdly actually done it and to celebrate our one year anniversary of knowing each other, we’ll be getting married. #Exciting.
I’ve actually got a lot to be doing, because i’m the Queen of the ‘leave it until it’s due’ method, meaning now, i’m tottering around, madly in heels and an updo, throwing together a wedding. Luckily, i have the BEST wedding planner ever @MBMevents  and well because of them…it seems, i don’t actually feel tot stressed anymore. The only thing that stresses me out, are flowers now. FLOWERS are stressful. Don’t do flowers brides…do candles. I mean, i’m used to sauntering around, winking at things and then they’re magical done for me. However, with this i’ve literally put in the leg work. #lordhelpme
Alongside all that, I’vce been trying to co-ordinate it with the filming and as of noon-ish this afternoon, my little ‘Handsome Keiran’ (who is currently being the man of my ultimate dreams, making strong yet decent decisions, loving like a Prince and sexing me up like a stalion,) has been packed off, with one suticase in his hand, to his stag do. So he’ll be gone for a week and well i’ll be sorting out the wedding. Which i kinda find easier when i’m solo. I get more done, as i’m far too distracted by company. Especially handsome company.
The good thing is the last couple days have been wonderful and well i’m starting to look and him and confidentally know that we can ‘pinky’ promise our way to ‘forever.’ I feel lucky. I feel happy and i hope to keep you posted, over the upcoming days, as i sail into ‘wife-hood.’ (Things keep arriving at my home that i’ve apparently ordered ages ago and forgotten about. Oops. I have boxes galore cluttering up my little living room, that i kinda feel like a bouji homeless person…under a chandlier.)
But as always, i must go. I have a bundle load of kitten cat ditty dotting and swiping to tend to.
I love you. I thank you and i hope you’re all doing well.

‘Weddings, Weddings…And Wine’

I am literally running around like a headless asian kitty cat, with a debit card, a list of wedding ‘to do’s’…a schedule, bad busy hair, wonky eyelashes and a pair of fur boots, trying to get this wedding on the ‘up-up and away’ cloud of ‘ooh laa’…and let me tell you…it’s hard…EVEN WITH A PLANNER, a co-ordinator, a filming rosta, and a mildy troublesome fairytale.
BUT and let me lay emphasis on the ‘BUT,’ (and for once i don’t mean ‘booty’) i’m happy. I’m stressed, but on the whole in these situations understand that the only way to overcome anything in this jolly old earth ball is to reach for the ‘positive’ and get everything ‘ticked off’ happily and with hope. Yeah, i’ve had a rather bumpy 6 week wedding run, i’ve been drama texted, called names, fought a little, had to cancel moments, in order to make other moments achievable, made compromises and run on all cyclinders. (Yesterday was my day off from ‘wedding planning’ and well yesterday ended up not being the best of days. Especially due to rday part being awkward and the evening part being greeted by random exes deciding to muscle on in with beautiful Mexican drama, a week and a half away from the big event. ‘Drama’ is enough as it is, let alone it being Mexican, right? Wunna land is insane, however, i’m handling it and why? Well because that’s what i do. I always have haven’t I? And I’ve done well in life, even when it’s been littered with glitzy ‘ooh-aar-yadda-yadda’ and i’ve only done well because when ‘The Gods’ have decided to test me, i’ve had a moan, a bit of a ‘DIVA’ moment, but they pulled my kitten stockings up and got on with it with determination…and a really great bra. After the storm i’ve been able to look back at the situation and ‘celebrate’ it off…with a wink and a memorable jar of success.)
However, with all that has gone on…the positive is that i have GREAT friends, who go out of their entire way to champion me on and pull me back together, even if they needed to give me a ‘shake-slap,’ a cuddle or just words of utter support, love and kindness. (It goes really well with wine.) AND i have a really great family. The kind that no matter what will make their little dramatico daughter achieve anything she needs too, by solidly standing by me, with heart, a family name..and quite often a credit card. 🙂 Like I always say, in life you can have ANYTHING, be it sacks fulls of ‘dollar-dollar,’ a book deal, a stint on the telly, a thriving career…everything!  But if you don’t understand and have the basic foundation, of stability, built via unconditional love…you absolutely don’t have anything and cannot bloom to the place that you potentially wish to be, without feeling a little lost…even if it’s secretly. (You learn that when you grow in life. But know that gin does work. However, it’s only a temporary fix for happiness, a way to escape. Everyone needs a full time ‘whole’ of happy…regardless as to whether you fight it or not. My Daddy taught me that!) Oh…and having ‘fans’ helps a bit too. Nothing is better to me, then feeling grotty, going on Twitter and reading Wunna adoration, or blog mail. Puts a smile on my sorry, over eyelashed face.
WELL, It’s only just noon and BEEN all over town. i’ve already had a granny have a chat to me about her sex life, had a builder tell me i’m Spanish, had a taxi driver ask me why i was talking to grannies and then floundered into a flower shop in order to organize my wedding flowers, in a giant mad rush and with absolutely zero swagger. I do feel delicious though, as i weirdly feel healthy, fit, sexy and happy. I’m doing well. I mean, i looked like a ‘jumble sale’ yesterday early afternoon and the postman still took it upon him to ask me out, tell me i was beautiful and treat me like i was a Goddess. (It was unfortunate for him..and he wasn’t a looker, but i admire him for his sweetness…that in his hand he was passing me my extra wedding invitations without him even knowing.) I was wearing make up from the night before, smeared upon my face, red sunglasses, grey leopard print pyjama bottoms, a pink cheerleader jumper and a giant beige faux fur coat, that i thought hid everything. (I enjoy that i think the faux fur is a secret mask that makes my flaws invisible.) I like that he made me feel good about myself, as i was certainly feeling rather unattractive due to ‘kind’ words delivered to me earlier, via the fine art of ‘banter.’ I was quite evil also. I’ll admit that. But i’ve learnt that banter only works with fun aquaintances and not with people you actually care about. (God, i currently feel starving, but i can’t at all eat!)
Ruby, is an absolute delight and when I spend with her my heart fills with life and reason. She looked at me last night, like she was so proud to have me as her ‘Mummy.’ But then…and whilst she was still deciding to be a cat (the pic is on my Facebook) she demanded that i make her sandwiches…only for her to smudge into a rug. Nice! I love her…and i’m glad to be her stable influence in life. I enjoy that she can point at a book cover, see me and say ‘MaaaMi’ and watch a telly stint and again celebrate it with another fine ‘MaaaMi.’ Infact, (and i do love her for this) pointed at the pussycat dolls video at the weekend..’Buttons’ it was…and pointed with a ‘MaaaMi.’ 🙂 ) #majorpointsscored. I’ve bred this beautiful little doughie eyed girly whirl and yeah she may tantrum (she’s going to, being a Wunna) but she’s just so innocent and filled with a warm heart. She is totally worth every wobbly bit i have on my body…i’d rather have her forever, than succeed at a tragico wedding diet. (I got told my boobs were ‘wonky’ and ‘saggy’ yesterday. Lol. So i told the human that delivered the line that they were ‘ugly.’) I’m secure with my attractiveness and mainly because that’s how i’ve accidentally manage to make my entire living. Booyah! 🙂  (Y’know when i mum took me to purchase diamonds as a pre-wedding gift the other day for me. She said she did it, because she completely loved me and also to show me how to be a great mummy to Ruby. I love it! Example set!!)
Anyway, i’m really happy right now and because at the end of the day i don’t have anything to be sad about. I’m Chrisse Wunna, a glitzy trooper, in frilly knickers, often misjudged, but always filled with love. (Unless you piss me off, then i’m the first one to stick up for myself. I’m not one to waver on my opions. i hate it when people do that.) Life is wonderful. I feel strong, chipper and best of all inspirational. But if things in your life are tormented and you feel like your fast sailing to rock bottom. (Parts of my Hollywood time where like that, and because i never felt whole, not because i didn’t have the opportunity to be ‘whole’ but because I wrongly kept choosing out of stubborness to be lost.) Just *snap* out of it. Life and love are the most amazing things you have and the only things (and my good friend Kelly reminded me of this the other morning, after sweeping up broken coffee mugs) that they are the only things you can control and make ‘happy.’ Outside influences cannot be controlled. But anything that you can control and make happy…without wasting time…you should. You only have 100 years, (if you’re lucky) to make your existance completely worth it and you owe it to yourself to make every inch of it fully whole and not built and littered with a stream of temporary fixes of ‘instant.’
I actually have a 1pm appointment, so i have to totter off and go deal make. But i hope you find my blog well and i hope everyone reading it right now is kept safe, loved and happy. The Olympics are currently a ‘go-go’ and we’re actually doing alright, i think? Well from what i’ve seen. But i’ve only actually watched and been throughly impressed with the mens gymnastics and the mens swim team. (:) Typical!) I’m liking the Olympics much more than i thought i would, so right now, i’m all GO TEAM BRITAIN!
Love you. Thank you for following my life. I’m honoured. (Oh and for those of you asking me about the book, i’ve put promo of it on hold until after the wedding.)
Now go get lunch and a cocktail!