Good afternoon, my darling little gleams of joy! Today is the day, I managed to find my hairy balls (they’re made out of glitterati) and made the rather kitty cat/executive decision, to ‘middle-finger’ the art of ‘doing something that i despise,’ in order to rejoice and celebrate the utter being that I AM…and with a *giggle-wiggle.*
I’m always being accidentally preachy and palming it off with a ‘i’ve lived so listen.’ But really, i fuck up all the time. For the last few months, i’ve been sooo busy and so miserable, putting up with a crappy ‘not me at all ‘ day job, to the point where the things that i truely adored in MY life, my world, my heart, my ‘ooh laaa,’ were pretty much being neglected. I hate neglecting anything I adore. I mean ‘Chrissie Wunna 2003-2007’ pretty much hated neglected anything at all..even the things she didn’t adored.
Yesterday, i got bollocked. Properly ‘a la HARDCORE’ bollocked and by a being who i had no longer had any respect for. (Always difficult, when you have to try and take it.) Now, i don’t mind a bollocking. Yet only when i’ve tampered with danger and i’ve actually done something wrong. A bollocking for no reason, with a glitzy side of ‘in house bullying’ is gross. I looked down at my phone, i had a text telling me how excting the launch of my book was going to be. I looked up…saw a face ‘yelling’ at me and being a basic nuisance, therefore after a ‘there’s no point to you being here’ line…by the face. I slipped on my fur boots, grabbed my work coat for the final time and with a hair-toss, turned around and gracefully strutted ‘the dolly’ off! I have NEVER FELT BETTER. It’s like a burdens been lifted.
Now, i’m typing this like I was warrior-strong and ‘diva.’ I wasn’t. I was angry, upset, quiet and terrified. But I kept it together. I leapt on a train home. My ‘Handsome Keiran’ was waiting for me outside the train station. He warmly greeted me, with an open heart..and well i did what every princess in her hour of need would do. I cried. (I’m a feisty little thing, so the art of being bullied-embarassed & verbally abused is deliciousy difficult, when you can’t actually say anything back. I held it in. I hate doing that…then when i was told to leave…i left. Then weeped…before wine 🙂 )
What i will say, is that i feel FREE. I just had a moment where i looked at myself, thought ‘hang on a second?? I’m Chrissie-fricking-Wunna-off the telly-extraordinaire. 🙂 What am I doing?’ I realised that i had so much going on. That all i truely want to be is WUNNAFUL and in entertainment…i mean it’s all i’ve done my entire life. I have this AMAZINGLY delicious hubby to be. He’s GREAT. He’s soul. My hero. (I’m sooo deeply thankful for him being in my life. We’re madly in love.) I have the most beautiful little daughter of ‘Ruby’ asian giggles, who i can’t help who adore. I’ve got everything coming together career wise now. The book. The tour. The world. The screenplay. (The guy that used to make me coffee in LA, is now back to producing movies. He’s written a screenplay about my life. A great one and well Keiran and I read the email the other night and just couldn’t believe how all this could happen to us. But anyhow, there i was having Hollywood adore me via an inbox, but a an ‘office face,’ that didn’t matter to me, tell me that i was pretty much rubbish…and because i apparently wouldn’t ‘pick up a phone.’ (All i remember about that moment, is that i was by a bag of Gummi Bears.’
Today is the day that i’m finally back. I do on occassion, go on a wander. 😉 But i’ve dusted the drama and instead of surrending to the mundane art of ‘doing what i have to do,’ i’m now doing what ‘i want to do.’ I have everything i want right now. Wunna Land is purrfect. Now all i need is to add a bit of effort, a wink and throw that good old energy at my world and then hopefully, my step back in..will be a fricking glitzy arsed LEAP! (I’ve found the time to GROOM all morning. I feel sexy again and kittens, it feels delicious to be back. I mean i had no time to invest in the things that matter to me and now i don’t have to worry. I’m a lucky little fucker. We know this. I’ve proved it. Yet now…we get this entertainment ball of fire and lipgloss..a rolling. Woohoo! *Fans hereslf.*
I’ll inform you about my weekend in the next blog, that i’m actually going to have the time to write later. (I FUCKING LOVE IT.) Keiran made me drunken origami and well anytime my soldier does THAT, then it’s worth a ‘later blog.’
Y’know, this ‘handsome’ has been amazing to me. We’re the same person, we’ve opened up to one another and learnt so much about life, love and ourselves. Yesterday, i re-fell in love with him. I do this alot. I mean, when i think i couldn’t love him anymore, he does something emotionally marvellous and i fall for him all over again. He cared for me so perfectly last night and made me feel wonderful, after such a crappy day. I’ve never really had anyone do that for me before. I’m the one that usually does the ‘jazz hands.’ But he was there for me…like my ‘forever’ should be. He fought my case. He gave me wine. He bonked me whilst saying ‘I finally have my wife back.‘ (I did call him ‘Daddy’ though. 🙂 )
We had wine, with a friend in celebration and well all i can really say is Keiran, Ruby and I are about to step into a sequinned whirlwind of magic. I’m excited about the book. I want it to do well. We have a lot going on…all in the background and it feel sgood to betaking the ones i love with me. We’re keeping *hush-hush* all getting ready to strap in, find the ‘bubble’ and ride….
I love you.
Thank you for following my life. (If you’re stuck in a morbid rut of life and believe you’re far more special than you are letting yourself be. Find you inner vixen and *middle finger* away…with a strut… I’m kinda like the Bible…but better. 🙂 )
To make me smile Keiran sent me this text:
Can I love her forever. Yes!
How? Whole heartedly.
Ruby is her first child. I love her so much.
I will her hers forever.
she will be mine forever.
Timing is everything.
I can’t wait to marry her & have another child.
Nothing can break the bubble we share together.
All we need is family & our love in this world.
Cheer up babe…everything will be okay. I love you x’
I have the most amazingly romantic hubby to be! (Well i already call him my ‘hubby.’) I never ever thought there would ever be my perfect man…and yet here he is, everything i ever dreamt of as a little girl…(fair enough i’m 31 now. 🙂 ) BUT he is totally and forever, the ‘otherside of my pillow.’