Wine, Mummyhood and Love

Had a random girl accidentally send me half naked pictures of herself. Well i say ‘accidentally,’ yet it was pretty much a gift from the Gods. The poor little kitty thought she was sending them to Pete’s phone. Hmm…? That doesn’t make it much better. Anyway, i took care of it. What are the chances of a girl having her ‘ooh look at me’ pics, delivered straight to me. I guess if you’re one of Peter’s pupils you can learn how to drive and get felt up all at the same time. 🙂 The good thing about this situation is that he bizarrely is the innocent party in all of this. I text him today, whilst I was work with a Wunna ‘Warning.’ I’ve come home to an extremely happy baby Ruby, the cleanest house you could ever see, all clean dishes, endlessly pouring wine and lots of adoration. Guilty? No. Terrified. Yes! Anytime anything like the above happens, it’s ace because Pete now fears my Wunna Tantrums sooo much, that he nervously gets to impressing me before I get shouty.

I flounced out to the car today…after looking quite ‘Vixen’ in my little black dress and creeped him out by being ridiculously lovely to him. He hasn’t mentioned the incidence once and well i’m not bothered by it simply because the entire house is spotless. Plus, he’s all perfect right now because we had ‘rumpy’ last night. It was a bit of a quick ‘pump-alot’ yet mainly because i was covered in ‘still drying’ Fake Bake. The entire romantic moment of love was giggled over with ‘OH GOD PETE. Don’t touch me there. My tan will come off.

Anyway, i’m feeling quite *sizzle* today. Over the weekend I groomed and i’m desperately..well finally back on route to being Chrissie Wunna. The hair got dyed. The tan became layer and the ‘Va Voom’ has re-entered the building. It’s great feeling sexy again, after having a baby. It takes a lot of time. But for the first time, in a long time…and mainly because I have a big shoot this weekend…i’m getting back on track. I mean anytime a boy who is on a druggie ‘come down’ and hunting around an office taking any form of pill that has the word ‘Relief’ printed on the box, tells you that you’re going to have the staring role in his ‘evenings wank.’ You know you’re Chrissie Wunna and you’re KNOW you’re BACK! (Another boy told me i was ‘sexual‘ then praised my look by stating that I was now definitely worth him putting his ‘dinky‘ in my mouth. Hmm..? If you’re not getting humourously harrassed sexually and in the work place, then you really aren’t getting your ‘Va Voom,’ right Dollies.

I’m on my diet. I’m drinking wine. I’m living off air and salad and actually getting it right. I feel yummy again and well there is now a light at the end of my post preggo tunnel.

Ruby is being gorgeous. We were given this giant, felt, yet inflatable pink bunny. A tool that will apparently help her learn to sit appropriately. Ruby will now only sit in it naked and in bows. Much like her Mother. Naked? Bunny? Bows? *Calls Hugh Hefner.* Then she trumps, giggles and wants more apple juice. (Her newest thing.) Milk is sooo 2010 for her now. I think it’s her version of a baby white wine spritzer? I’ve trainer her well. I have the happiest baby in town. This is actually the best time of being a Mummy because it’s the time when she actually recognizes who I am now and talks *gobble-dee-goop* at Me, with Wunna giggles and gummy smiles. Her first word was a *giggle*…therefore i surely must be doing something right.

All is well in Wunna Land. I have a lot going on. Big shoot at the weekend and well i believe my book is still currently in editing. I’m not sure. I’ve passed it on like a parcel. I only have a bit more to jiggle, then yep after it’s been wanded over by The Gods and decorated with pretty, pictures of my boobs…it’ll be a historical masterpiece. I’m VERY excited about it all. The book is actually going to be OUT! Hurrah!

Pete’s now pretending to complain that he hates it when i *slap* his juicy bum bum. He complains like he’s a flirty teenage girl. (A slaggy one.) I mean, if you don’t want me to *slap* your juicy bum bum. (And he does.) Then quit walking around in nothing but tight boxers and flouncing ya juicy bum bum in my face like your Beyonce, whenever you have a spare moment. There is definite role reversal going on in our home right now. I’m like a booze guzzling brute of a male and he’s like a ‘hide behind hand and giggle’ kinda floozy. I like it.

Anyway I must go and return to living off wine, kisses and being a Mummy.

Loving your messages,

Chrissie x

Checkin in Briefly

I forgot to tell you that i had a human sized male, hailing from the tender age of 6, growling at me from all fours and not letting me pass, after getting my nails done. He was a cute chubby asian boy and weirdly had a crush on me according to his Mother? Boys are really bizarre creatures aren’t they? I mean the fact that i’m signing off the ‘growling on all fours’ as a ‘6 year old thing,’ says it all. I know grown ass men, who’d still probably perfom that bit of pokery, in order to win my affection. (God, i’ve got a banging headache. The drinking wine thing needs to stop.)

Anyway, last night, Pete & I had a bonding night. We watched a movie (‘I am sam,’) over curry…i ordered cucumbers and chicken wings, then enjoyed teary eyed moments with each other, during cuddles. I’ve properly managed to win this boys affection and I have no idea how i’ve managed it. I mean, don’t get me wrong…i understand the whole ‘Chrissie Wunna be with me’ marlarky, that all boys go through. 🙂 I always say it’s one of the phases that all boys go through as they passage their way to ‘man.’ Yet Pete actually wants to keep me forever and i don’t mean just pretend like he does. (Men never really mean it.) He really truely actually does and he doesn’t think he can get any better. LMAO. I must have unbeatable charm, i tells ya. I’ve fooled him into believing i’m the best girlfriend ever and i didn’t even have to do the washing up! Woohoo!

We’re meant to be going shopping today, but i don’t know what i’m supposed to be buying. I need to start my day…i’ll check in later. x

Corsets, Love and Life

Date Night ended up being a ‘flop.’ It kinda flopped because we don’t need one anymore. We’ve snapped back to reality and well the passion has already been a kindled flame. All we did was last night was lay around in the living room, bicker a little, cuddle, then spend the rest of the time missing Ruby. It’s almost my time of the month, therefore every little ‘wrong turn’ Pete makes, internally grinds on me. I’m the fun one out of the two. Yet I’m also weirdly the responsible and sensible one. Pete’s mind is a messy pig-sty of affairs and having to teach him life, as i go along gets really really annoying at times. Only WINE makes me beable to handle it. I just don’t get how i can be all Glamour Pussy galore, party streamers, glitter shower, leopard print heels and diamonds. Yet still beable to function has a self suficient human being. I’m a recovered kitty Queen of very drunk party, for crying out loud!!! However, i can handle being Mummy, girlfriend, full-time worker, Chrissie Wunna, and Ultimate Queen of Greatness. Peter is a dear fellow who needs his hand held through everything, come rain or shine. He’d rather me dictate every single little thing does, than have to think for himself. Lol. I’m the EXACT opposite. Getting Me to do ANYTHING that i don’t want to do, is like trying to push 10 hippos up a 10,000ft mountain. You might get there in the end. Yet even if you make it, all you’ll want to do by the end of the trek, is throw yourself off the mountain and weirdly after you’ve dry humped one of the hippos. Worth it? I think not. 🙂 *Fans herself to champion music.*

I love Pete deeply and well we’re a really great couple. He’s a wind up merchant, yet also gentle, romantic and kind. Dating me isn’t the easiest thing in the world. Yet he’s willing to (in the words of Beyonce) ‘Put a riiing on it.’ Therefore I’ll let him off. He’s helpless. But will do anything he can to bring a smile to his little kittens face. We’re madly in love and well i really couldn’t think of a better life partner. (Aww…)

Anyway today has all been about the shoot fro my book. OMG how hard is it to choose Glamour Pussy attire, when you haven’t lost all your baby weight. I’m really nervous about the pictures and how i’m going to look. Everything i peeked and poked at just didn’t seem right. I’ve really got to stick to my diet. I’ve tried to blame everyone but myself, therefore I know i’m still sane. When you take full responsiblity for anything, you really have hit rock bottom. 🙂 No more McMuffins for breaky. God!! I hate diets.

I’ve been inundated with messages from boys who have all been going on about the football. I’m not one who remotely cares about a game of footie. Yet I do like perving over the hot spanish boys, in shorts out of boredom. Bottomline…i don’t think there’s anything at all WRONG with being a GLORY supporter? Like why wouldn’t you be? Like why would anyone want to support a bunch of people who lose all the time? I don’t get it? All these boys fight for the life of their preferred team of football. Yet…the footballers of their particular club, wouldn’t really even give them the time of day if they were to see them at a club. It’s the hot girls that get to drink with them and the boys just get elbowed out the way. LOL. This is why women are smarter. We get with the boys with the ball skills, instead of fighting for who’s team is the best. 🙂 I just don’t enjoy haters. Therefore all the people hating on anyone, for no real reason, in my mind is very telling. It’s always the people doing rubbish in life, who tend to the art of hating.

(Aww..Pete’s being really cute and asking for cuddles.)

I’ve just got back home, after a looong day of ‘i just can’t fit into that hot pink corset.’ I’m meant to be out on the town tonighta and it’s still early so I might. Yet i’m kinda just exhausted. (The whole book thing takes up all my free time.) Therefore i might just enjoy being a Mummy tonight…and make Pete watch tear-jerkers, to see if they make him cry. 🙂

A Champion of Pricks

It’s not even noon and i’ve already been told that I may posess evil tendancies. I woke up and had a good old joyous moment of ‘playtime’ with my bambino Ruby, then weirdly decided to rollie pollie out of bed on the exact wrong side, strut into the living room (with baby in arms) and have a go at him. 🙂 I love being hormonal. It’s really a treat. Yet you can’t blame us. It’s hard being a girl. We’re a species that is prescribed drugs the entire way through our lives in order to beable to handle it. Painkillers for period pains. The pill to prevent us from getting preggo. Then Hormonal replacements later on in life, in order to make us…well..normal. 🙂 Our morning arguement actually got quite heated. Then we smiled at each other, pissed ourselves laughing and got on with the day.

Last night ended up being a bizarre concotion. I was enjoying ‘baby-mummy’ time and hair-tossing to my mirror image and calling friends ‘horny old gays,’ after being called a ‘Randy M.I.L.F.’ 🙂 Pete on the other hand, was on the phone to his ex-girlfriend. Random, i know. Her, her brother and his boyfriend had gotten sozzled and called him for a catch up. It’s the first time Pete’s actually gotten to talk to her properly since a very long time. He blushed all the way through it and began acting all weird.

What I actually noticed about myself is that I weirdly wasn’t bothered by it?? I know! Bizarre right?? This has confused me and has made me believe that I either don’t actually love him enough to care?? OR, i’m actually grown up and i horrifically feel extremely comfortable with myself and my stability in our relationship?? Well done Me. That took a few years! His ex-(who sounded lovely) wants our daughter, to date her son. Now, although i’m quite the Queen of the fun loving, i’ll have to give that little option a ‘miss.’ My daughters destined for bows, glamour pussing, and Greatness. Not a future of chavtastics and not being able to pronounce words properly, when wine gets pulled into the picture. 🙂 (I really can’t believe that Pete made out that she was like some horrifically, psycho, bitch, with problems?? From what i heard of that phone convo…she seemed quite normal. Why do men bother doing that?) He’s all upset because I won’t make friends with them. I don’t even really have to explain why i might not want to bother, now do I? I’m not him. I’m not on some random desperate plea to make everyone to like me.

 (God, i’ve just had to shout at him again!)

All the way through this entire blog he’s been trying to wind me up and simply because he wants ‘attention-attention-attention’ all of the fucking time and hates that i’m more interested in writing my blog, than talking to him!!! UGH!! Annoying much!! Hellloooo?? I’m trying to blog. Ruby isn’t even like that!! Pete is really gonna get on my nerves today and lucky ME, it’s fricking ‘Date night.‘ ( I swear on my life, that  dating Pete is like having some bratty, teenage boy, that is annoying for a bit of ‘look at me.’) *Growl.*

Anyway, all i want to do today, is get a spray tan, curl my hair, enjoy being a mummy and get my nails done. I bet NONE of the above happen, due to his idiotic ways. I’ve literally had to storm out the room, after smacking my laptop, against his knees in anger and shouting at him for being a bratt. He actually made me miss ‘Michael’ today. (My ex-hubby.) When you’ve had to have a little cry over your ex-hubby, it means your current ‘squeeze‘ isn’t pulling his weight.

Helloo Bank Holiday Weekend..*sighs.* 🙁 I hope to GOD, that it gets better….


Friday Feeling Baby!

You know you’re Greatness when you’re bent around cold meat at Asda and pervy gents with bread and wives are doing kissy faces with them. Actually met quite a few lovely gents today at Asda. It was kinda a shame I was so enchanted by the wine isle really. Lovely staff there to! One guy, who is a friend of a friend, came to say ‘Hello’ before i walked my boobies to the cold meat isle. Knew all my life, he did. I like that because it saves me having to explain it all really. This is where the blog comes in handy. However, the rest of the staff were a bit rubbish. I attempted to ‘self-checkout,’ a concept that I used to fear. We all do at first, because we don’t want to look like a tit by getting it all wrong and fumbly. Now i’m a ‘self checkout’ champion. Yet it’s always a toss up for me. I mean, i like things to be done in an instant. However, i’m a lazy little Glamour Puss, who enjoys a luxurious slow strut, therefore i prefer other people…like do things for me. I don’t mind the purchasing *swipe-swipe-wink.* Yet the ‘bagging‘ is is the item bleeping. 🙂 (Pete’scurrently getting text messages calling him an ‘ugly bastard.‘ LMAO! I get worshipped, he gets wallopped by verbal trout.)

Unfortunately and because I’m a superstar. 🙂 I got abandonned at the Asda ‘self-checkout’ because I needed to purchase a box of wine. (Makes me laugh and reminds me of old people’s Christmas parties.) I apparently needed staff approval. Yet no-one came!!! Hellloooo????? I have tits! I mean you all stare at them, by the cold meat, when i on’t really need your help. But when i’m stranded at the ‘self-checkout’ with a downward dolly face and a pretend ‘look around ‘of bewilderment. No-one is frickin’ THERE!!!! (It’s funny how we commit to doing that massive pretend ‘look-around.’ in order to get someone’s attention.) I even had a red blinker above me, with a screen stating my need for ‘approval.‘ Hilarious! The fag lady, dragged herself over in the end and with a smile from both parties, i escaped with my wine and having bought the incorrect ice-cream for my bit of ‘Loverboy’ and no Euromillions ticket. (He’ll have to be a millionaire some other day. The only reason he wants to win, is because he wrongly believes it will make me his ‘bitch.‘ Hmm..? I’ve left many a rich gentleman, for a bit of foolish glitter. 🙂 Regret it a little now. 🙂 *Frantically scrolls through contacts to find rich love.*

Anyway, it’s finally BANK HOLIDAY WEEKEND!! Woohoo!!!! Tonight is usually date night, yet that will now have to be another day. I’m being a mummy. I’ve embracing my Friday feeling. I keep weirdly being able to smell cheese everywhere? And yeah life is really pretty great! I’ve got some big decisions to make very shortly, so i need to get crunk in order to think correctly. I mean, i even find myself having ‘What would Wunna do’ moments!

Work was great. Worked hard. Boggled my mind. I got given a bag of Ruby goodies by Karan who I work with. Pete thanked her by sending her a text via my Blackberry. Unfortunately for him, instead of typing ‘there were lots of lovely things in the bag…’ He typed, ‘There were lots of lovely thongs in the bag, so thankyou very much.’ HAHAHA.

I read it out to her, how it was meant to be read, glamourously and comedically. Pissed myself. Then got on with life.

I’m gonna do a lot of working on the book over the Bank Holiday. It’s in editing now, therefore i just need to email over a couple of last blogs, a beginning ‘About me’ and ‘About the blog’ bit and a final back bit of book, which will include all your Tweets and inbox messages to Me. Therefore you can all be a part of it. As YOU are the reason i even got the whole book deal marlarky. Plus you’ll buy it, if you’re in it. 🙂 Get Tweeting me or inboxing me!

I’m excited about this Bank Holiday! Lots of fun, lots of work, lots of Baby/Mummy time and lots of PAMPERING will finally get did! yay! I haven’t had time for a pamper in ages. I’m walking around with a bronzed face and white boobies..with NO nail extentions. eww..what have I become. I’m like a Beverly Hills homeless person.

I’m now having a bicker with Pete over how ‘gay’ he is? He weirdly has bacon in his hand? I’m also telling him how his ex-girlfriend isnot as bad as he always makes out! He’s painted this picture of him being the victim to a viscious, evil, psychotic bully. I don’t believe that to be true? Women are only ever mad, when men make us! We are to be worshipped, not understood. Plus, she said our baby was ‘beautiful’ and that’s veyr lovely.  (Now he’s getting all arsey because he doesn’t want me to blog that bit. I wonder why? Probably because he’s again made half of it up. *yawn.*)

I love that he has no control over my voice. I feel all vixen and i don’t think ANY BOY is handed over the power to control any femme’s independance. It’s like the whole *doo-daa* with his family again. They know a very different Pete to what I know and he enjoys to untruth his way around things and perform a jolly old ‘victim‘ act. Most young men do. I’m teaching him to be strong and not immediately surrender to his usual puny ‘pity party’ act of comfort.

I’m not mad at him at all. I love him. I just find it hilarious. It’s like having a grumpy toddler, who doesn’t want you to tell on him. LOL….with bacon.

Can’t wait to *clap* shut this laptop and get to living. Hellooo weekend!! I’m loving this FRIDAY feeling!!!


Dolly of *Doo-Daa*

Enjoying Mummy/Baby time, with a glass of wine. Ruby is gorgeous and well work wasn’t actually brilliant. I pretty much worked hard for my money today and even though that usually freaks me out. I actually found that i liked it. I do busy better than fox trotting with ‘nothing to do.’ We’re not good dance partners. I start nuisancing when i’m bored. Luckily, i’m a Glamour Puss and well winking whilst you nuisance pays off. Worked hard and stuck it out. (Remember how shit I was feeling a couple of days ago, with all of the ‘hoopla.’) I championed the ‘i’m not going out like that,’ and there you have, I now have rainbows..well busy rainbows worshipping their way ‘over me.’ I weirdly enjoy having to work hard. The only thing i didn’t like of previous was the not understanding what it was that I was meant to be doing. (*sips wine.*) Nonetheless, there were tears and drama. However, fortunately it had nothing to do with Me. (For once.) Emotional rollercoasters suck, therefore having to watch another puss of glamour, be launched onto one without her consent was really quite awful. The puss in question, in her finest tanned glory, looked at Me, after having to go through an emotional fairground of torment and said, ‘Now, i don’t mean to be a killjoy, but yeah…i need to get off this ride.’ That’s how I felt a couple days ago. It’s like i passed it on. Nice of me really. Innit!

Anyway, was read old bits of news today, by a friend of mine, who was referring to another as ‘fatboy.’ And get this! A actual hippo…ATE a dwarf. (This is not a joke. It’s a real life news story, cut out from a paper.) The hideious, yet hilarious thing about it all, is the fact that the dwarf…was a circus dwarf. 🙂 During a performance and infront of an applauding audience. The poor little dwarf, accidentally got EATEN my a hippo named ‘Hilda’ and died. I mean, if there’s a way to make your grand exit…that certainly takes the tiara! Y’see i’m doing it all wrong. I need to be playing with hungry Hippos named ‘Hilda,’ in order to make history. (*sips wine.*)

I’m having alovely time at home. Really excited for the book and taking it east now and quite merrily because i feel all full of ‘well done me’ after working so hard today and being an achiever. It weirdly makes you feel good and it weirdly feels better than having th perfect tan.

I’m currently half involved in the ‘Big Baby/Little baby’ game, with Pete & Rubes. Ruby wants cuddles immediately and will wimper if she doesn’t get them and Pete is currently perfoming dance moves (that he’s pretending he hasn’t practiced..aww…) for me in the living room. He’s bizarrely found rhythm? Foolish me, went ahead with praising him and now all he does for a bit of ‘Hey look at me babe,’ is finger snjap and foot dance at me in the living room, to grab my attention and get some love. I do actually think it’s cute and he got all teary last night when i told him how much i loved him. I mean, all i can say is he’s moving forward from the ‘be naked everywhere with his goolies out’ in order to make me notice and well i class that asan achievement. (It’s also an award i’m quite fit for givin gout, having travelled that pretty liitle journey myself. the onyl difference is…i actually got paid…oh..and the world looked 🙂 )

I’m still being inundated with all of your messages and I love that! Latin Lover, the boy i used to date emailed me today, with a poor attempt to try and make me feel like he’s rich. He has a new girlfriend now and a random ‘weekend’ house. Lol. He enjoys mentioning the ‘weekend house’ as much as he can. 🙂 If you date someone a bit more wealthy than you, it doesn’t actually make you rich. It you makes you their bitch. 🙂 Don’t get it twisted.  Plus it’s things that money can’t buy, that makes you the wealthier person.

Other than all that, i’m getting a lot of love and I thankyou all for that! It makes me tremendously happy and fools me into believing i’m inspiring. I really do have to go now and be a mummy. But I love you much you Dollies of *doo-dar.*


Couldn’t be better…

Just got home and already on the wine. I’ve leapt out of my work clothes, that although radiated ‘Vixen, don’t mess,’ kinda made me feel fat after about an hour and a half. I keep pretending that i’m thin and keep forgetting that i’ve still got a jolly dollop of baby weight to shimmie off. (All preggos do it, after the baby.)  I mean yeah, i can fit into a size 8 when i don’t eat a week of McDonalds. But let me tell you, if after 4 hours you’re feeling chubby, it simply means you need to keep that size for a better time and slip into that pair of ‘little bit bigger’ panties. It makes no different…sexy is sexy…big, small or tall. If you got it, you got it.

Anyway, work ended up not being as bad as I thought. I was frustrated due to being stuck in a room all on my own today for 8 hrs straight, whilst everything kept going wrong. Yet 15 minutes before the clock struck ‘hometime.’ I recieved a phonecall from my boss and I explained my frustrated in a calm, panicky :), yet honest fashion. Now i feel relieved and i’m ready to take the bull by the horns and donkey ride it forward.

I’m not used to this day job marlarky. It’s emotionally a lot tougher than I ever thought. In my showbizzy world, i kinda just seem to fall into a happy pool of glitter, even after a delicious shit storm. However, i find it easier to simply be Me and work for me. However, when you tango with ‘day job,’ you are responsible for the love of another. Therefore a lot of pressure ends up being plonked upon you, because at the end of the day everyone wants to impress and be looked upon as ‘one of the best’ at what they do. When it’s just Me. I can only let ME down and in the past…. I’ve been pretty good at doing that! Hurrah! Bring in the dancing girls. (Know that I only did that during the Hollywood phase, when i didn’t care too much about myself and galloped into danger to applause! Yee-haa.) Luckily, i magically scooped me up a bit of fame and fairytale and well…bouncing back from the lovely rocks of ‘da bottom,‘ can happen. I love that a percentage of people found my blog today by searching ‘Craig David’ and ‘ass.‘ Hilarious.

I’m back to loving my day job and because i think i can handle it. I was just in too tight pants and when you’re a Glamour puss, you can’t function in too tight pants. We enjoy freedom. I mean forget being stuck in a room all day. I was wedged trapped in my own trousers, knickers, then inside my own fleshy parcel. No wonder I lost the plot!

The book is coming along nicely. Therefore i’m all at peace with myself for magicking that little bit of ‘ooh laa.’ If it sells and makes me millions, then i’m gonna place my tiara back on my head, pick up my handbag andcarefully stroll out of my ‘day job’ office, with a smile on my face, until I j’ette LEAP out of that joint with a ‘YIPPPEEEE I’M RICH!!’ I’m a lucky girl, so i’m keeping every thing crossed. Even my crotch.

Ruby had her injections today and apparently didn’t feel a thing. According to Petey, she simply looked at the health Visitor in charge of the ‘pricking’ to save her from the horrors of the world, like she was a bitch…then after a moment of looking *puzzled*…she gummy smiled and got on with life. Just like her Mama.

Pete and I are wonderful right now. I couldn’t be more in love. We’re enjoying fun times. Laughter. Friendship and love and doing it like champions. I feel like i’m now taking precedence in his life and well all he actually needed was a whole lot more attention. Today i stopped both my babies in their tracks for a moment, as soon as i got back from work, and jumped into my leopard print jimmy jams and told them how much I loved them. We really are the most perfect family in the world and thank god we took the time to work it all out!

I’m reading my messages from my old Facebook and you know what i’m quite the dish. The boys right fancy a bit of The Wunna. I properly adore it. Meiow…! 😉 Okay…now it’s getting a little too crazy??? I kinda have to *sneek* on it and even after the *sneek* it’s like the boys are immediately alerted of my online existance and ‘waa-woo’ me with ‘love me, love me.’ I do adore such behaviour. It’s madness.  I don’t even know how to describe it to you. It’s sort of like being  insanely chased by the papparazzi, but in Cyberland and the boys don’t have cameras, they flash cyber willy and words of worship! I forgot how ace i am. 🙂

(I especially enjoy the gentleman who has made the effort to tag me in a photo of himself, in order to ‘wave in’ a ‘hi, I adore you.’ That’s my fave. But don’t do anymore….anymore…at all. 🙂 )

I’m getting messages from all over the world, all from adoring gents who are being rather romantical (awww) and here I am, in an ‘about to set on fire’ appartment, covered in smoke and because Pete doesn’t know how to cook a steak. At least i’ll burn alive in leopard print. I LOVE BEING ME!!!

Quickie Much

Feeling refresh and delicious. I’m in my casual ‘Vixen-esque’ outfit. One that seductively tells you that ‘i’m sizzle, so you can’t fuck with me.’ It’s kinda like having armour….with fleshy boobs I’ve had a good nights sleep. Ruby is being a treat. Pete and I enjoyed bottles of wine last night and well my little bit of ‘Handsome’ is championing me on!

I’m excited for today. But as always i’m in a rush. This kitty cat’s got to run…Working all day. 🙁 I have 9 inch heels on and they’re desperately wanting to step out of mundane and into a more glittery path of Greatness. Opportunity is a knocking and ‘oh look’ the door has just swung open. *Wiggle- wink*

Check in later.

It’s all about the ‘magic’

Well what a day! I’m finally home, fed and thankfully pussed out. Work was boring. I pretty much got told off for my apparent ‘lacksadaisy’ approach to my job, even though i’ve worked all day, non-stop and whilst everyone else checked out early. I’m not keen on being appropriately appreciated really. Lol. Who would be? Therefore, i’m deeply considering how much ‘yadda-yadda’ I actually need to kitty cat take right now and for really not much reward. *Glitter spritz here.* Having an ‘aren’t I Chrissie off the telly’ moment and didn’t I go back to day job work, after 2 weeks of having a baby? Hmm..?

Right now, i’m all excited about my book. I talked to the photographer today regarding my shoot and we discussed the ‘magic’ that i wanted the pictures to portray. Nice, doesn’t work for me. But ‘sexy’ does. I’m looking for deliciously yummy, typical ‘Wunna land’ luxury. Grand, but silly. Glamourous and addicted. It was hilariously because i was stood by bin bag and rat droppings, whilst both Brian and i agreed to the perfect pictures that make Wunna History. To me, the great shots are the ones that people can’t help but stare at an examine. The type that you find yourself having to keep and wish upon. Everything’s finally coming together and 5 years of blogging, will now certainly pay off! Thank the LORD!!!

Other than getting my priorities straight and my number one concern in life is RUBY. I’ve been loving every given moment with her and now feel a bit gipped by the time i’ve dedicated to work, that has sort of stolen my time with her from and for no real reason. I now thoroughly enjoy my showbizzy work and it accidentally has rocketted ahead. I’m not gonna have to worry to much about the pennies and i’m a Glamour Puss at heart, being granted with opportunity.

Pete and I are wonderful tonight. From the moment he picked me up from work, we’ve been lovely. I now play this (yes creepy) game  at home, with them (Ruby and Pete) called ‘Big baby/Little baby.’ Big Baby gets attention and has to wait until I’ve finished with ‘Little baby’ until he can have my attention again. And ‘Little Baby’ must trump, play with a felt duck or watch ‘The Tweenies’ whilst I tend to ‘Big Baby.’ It’s now a tamed circus. I’m really glad i have them.

My moving forward in life…and yeah, something tells me that wonderful things are about to happen. I have a flipping book coming out!!! YIPPPPEEE!!!!! *Happy dance* Don’t let the normalities of life make you become rutted in everyday circumstance. I’ve always been one to break away visciously from anything that is drowing me. I’m a being that has been blessed with the ‘magic,’ therefore now i’m sliding my options around, until it fits my wonder just right!

I bizarrely got my old Facebook profile back today. It got disabled about a year ago and because a ‘Fake Me’ had reported the REAL Me and it took Me an entire year, (due to baby making) to prove my actual identity. Today, i recieved a bit of Facebook love to my inbox, apologizing for the misunderstanding and with a ‘we’ve reactived your old profile’ I now kinda have two. (I don’t wait around. When it got disabled. I simply began a new profile. I’m used to the chop and change.)

On my old profile I had 492 friend requests awaiting me, 192 new inbox messages and a chat box bottom screen of ‘blip, blip, blip.’ It felt goood and was like one of those jolly of signs, sent to remind Me of My Greatness. Yep, i now feel all popular again. I’ll definitely let it go to my head. But sometimes and when ‘plain’ is trying to smother you. You kinda have to let it. 😉


Tumblin’ blocks

Just woke up and getting ready for work. Now that i’m a new M.I.L.F 🙂 i don’t at all have as much time to groom. My Hollywood bounce hair, often lacks the ‘lush’ factor and my bronzing process has been snipped down, like a Jewish penis.

I don’t actually feel too bad about Pete now. Everything I said was true, however there was a moment this morning, where I watched both Ruby and Pete tucked under the quilt, infront of the living room telly and BOTH watching some kids show about dancing monkies. Like ‘Zingzillas’ or something? Pete wasn’t playing ‘Dad’ roll, he was literally in a child-like state of happiness watching Flamenco dancing monkies with Rubes. I made her a bottle. (Of gin. :)) I made him a coffee. (Of gin.) And i realized that i had the cutest little family alive. Pete is actually harder to look after then Ruby. Yet i guess i’m going through the process from kitten to adult. It’s weird how much you grow up, when you’re plonked with responsibilities.

Last night and after I had wrote my blog. Pete and I had a banter on the sofa. Yeah it was funny, however he kinda crossed the line a little with his ‘hoopla.’ I’m trying my hardest to understand who he is. But it’s a tumbling block process.

Anyway, another day at work. I’m also planning my weekend shoot for my book and calender. The fact that the book is actually ‘In editing’ has made it all real for me. Before it was like a glamourous bundle of dirty laundry  that needed to get done. Now it’s finally being washed! Woohoo!

I’ll check in later. (I have both my babies Ruby and Pete fighting for my attention. What can I say…story of my life…)