SAMUEL AND I will be at HEAVEN tonight (london) Shimmie on down and say ‘Hello!’
So much for a quiet night it! Last night, i was twiddling my thumbs in a hotel room, drinking vino and pulling faces because i wanted to be swinging my knick knacks in the air and living the ‘i’m in London and now on the telly’ good life. Then just as i go into my third ‘sorry for myself sigh’ of the night, my pink blackberry rings and i’m ever so specially invited to go McParty and celebrate celebrating! Yeah Baby! There is a God and he’s a fucking DRUNK! YAY!
So Samuel (who’s now my gay boyfriend…we really do make a gorgeous couple,) Flic and Kat, all get dolled up and trundle off to Vendome, to milk and celebrate our new found ‘on telly’ ness. We actually have FANS and we’re all so excited that fuck it…we’re celebrating it! We spent the nighty night being insane! Wine was drunk, shots were shot, dance moves we’re aggressive and then we were roped off from everyone else, had people guarding us and well i guess it just makes it easier for us to wiggle around and slag people off! (haha) We got a lot of attention and girls flocked over to our table to say ‘Hello’ and have their picture taken with us! I LOVE all this because i’m an attention whore, so it was almost like a dream come true!! It’s all going to my head! lol! I don’t take myself too seriously, so i busted out a few good dance moves…’The Robot’ being one of the many tragic moves i have…along with ghetto boobie body pops! And well i just had the time of my life!! I can’t do much, but i can do ‘fun.’ Luckily so can my sexual gay lover Samuel. We’re starting to adore people worshipping us!! lol..It’s all boobies, vodka and gay! Love it! We’re also starting to get really popular because we can’t stop being 1% retarded. (Insert cheers of the masses!) I’m getting stopped a lot now, as is He and i guess it’s because we love to entertain, and we’re not stuck up whores. So you guys love to be entertained by us and want to come say ‘hello!’ We love it! (Even though our Booth bitch Thandi- who we think is a sexy sasserilla, kicked a couple of our girlie fans off our table. Lol. Sooo bad! I think they wanted to steal our booze or something??)
Anyway next stop was ‘Jalouse.’ We’re Sam, Flic, Kat and I met up with Paris (who had a busy day at a photoshoot and wanted to enjoy her last night in London!) If you party with paris, it’s guaranteed ‘good times.’ It was insnae, happy, party MADNESS! I just remember fireworks, booze, crystals from ceilings and camera flashes. Everyone wanted a piece of Miss. Hilton, so we kept getting McSquished. She’s changed my life so much and i feel like i have so much to thank her for. It’s amazing!! After hours of partying, she snook us and a handful of her closet friends back to her hotel room. We finished off the night chilling, watching tv and dancing around. I’m really loving life right now. I feel so grateful!
Got home at 6am!! I basically tottered in the freezing cold, dressed like a slag, with Kat at 6am around Marble Arch looking for a taxi. We got a lot of offers, yet none we’re from taxis. Yay! Hookers rock! This one guy, who was quite obviously just some pervert, pulled up in his very dodgey car and pretended he was a taxi. TWe must have looked tragic…or just ‘easy peasy.’ Anyway we finally find one, and i strutted into my hotel at 6am, where everyone else is up, fresh and ready for breakfast and staring at me like i’m the worst thing to ever have lived! (haha!) Not really though, the Hotel guys love me. They say i ‘sleep all day and party all night and come back looking like the happiest person who ever lived!’ I was all fur coats, rhinestones and holding my heels, due to severe blistering. I was not happy. We almost got trapped in an elevator at 6.05am, but luckily the Gods saved us and i crashed at 6.15!! Love it! You only live once, so do it RIGHT bitches!
This was just after the screening of the show. We had loadsa baby photo ops with friends, as it was all going to my head! I was not remotely humble. Lol…I do really think i’m a superstar now…yes it’s quite devastating! Had my piccy taken with Maysoon from Big Brother! I love her sexy arse! I’m her favourite BBF! I should be yours too…
Oh my GOD! had the most amazing night of just ‘i’m on the telly’ excitement!! I was buzzing! Yet even though i had had almost 5 lychee martinis, 3 shots and a red vodka thing, plus a juicy mound of Grey Goose i didn’t at all feel drunk! I guess, my excitement out weighed my drunkness. Finally!
So we all watched the first episode of the show together at the Molton House. It was all dark, red, pink lights and lush. And the place was littered with finger food, free drinks, BBF’s (even though a bunch of them ‘no showed’) and all of the ITV gang. I love the ITV gang (this is the sucking up part…lol) but really i do. I mean, they placed me on a show and i couldn’t be more grateful as i’ve finally found something that i LOVE to do more than being a ‘lady of leisure.’ Reality tv ROCKS!! Oh and ofcourse Paris showed up, to watch it with us, which i loved. She was sooo excited. We all were. It’s surreal watching yourself on a big tv screen, next to Samuel & Layla (who i picked to leave over Jade..haha) and have Paris (who was sitting a few people behind me) scream…’I love your laugh Chrissie,’ as i’m cheering at myself (like ya do) on telly!! I think i was just in shock!! I was buzzing and i think the shows AMAZING!!
We all then went out and got trollied at ‘Maddox,’ which was okay, except everyone kept bumping into people and spilling drinks on me to crap music. The people were a bit stuck up there. It was odd. So we then moved on to ‘Raffles’ -which i LOVE (and only cos you can go ‘yeah, yeah, yeah’ on their podium. Had the best night EVER! We did actually have to leave a few drunks behind…not mentioning any names (Dom.) He looked like a drunken floozy (lol) and Samuel and I were standing outside the club, just pushing him around, rummaging in his wallet and trying to put him in anybodies car. Greatness!
Thanx for all my messages bitches! I’ve recieved a lot of ‘you love my laugh’ ones. (Well the 3 ‘heavies’ didn’t!) It was scary, but i was McTrashed, ( i mean i was one of the last ones to get interrogated, so it was almost 3.30am, i had had about 15 shots. I was dancing on tables and then 2 seconds later, I get fooled into an ‘i love ur new hair’ conversation with Lee (producer.) He then harshly in 3 seconds flat SHOVES me (with his manly hands) into the interrogation room, whilst i’m doing Vogue arms!! It was cool! Major kissage. I’m really glad you’re enjoying the show. For me it’s such a huge deal. I can’t wait until the next one!! Everyone in the hotel i’m staying at watched it…so i’m MILKING it. Kisses Darlings!
Watch it TONIGHT on ITV2 at 9pm. It was a major part of my last year, so hopefully it will be a major part of your ‘this’ year. I had a wonderful time…it’s the greatest thing i’ve ever done. So please do enjoy!! I’m a bit nervous yet excited as you’ll all get to see me…kind of ‘in person.’ I’ve been a secret online vice for a very long time… and i do love that. However now, you can put a voice to the face! I’m watching it with all of the other contestants and P tonight. Yet before that i actually have ‘Burma Stuff’ with my Uncle to do! Godda go…i’m supposed to be in a meeting! lol…
Hello my Pretties! I’m busy as a hungover bee, not that hungover bees are very busy, but i’m dragging my arse up and around and functioning quite fabulously! Last night, i thought i was gonna have a quiet night in with my telly and a massive garlic nan bread, dipped in chicken korma. Instead, i get a phone call from my sexy Samuel, who figures since i’m in the joyous Capital i might aswell party up a storm and make the most of my McStay here, right? Plus, he called me ‘sexual’ and with me being easy i 100% commited to a night of ‘good times!’
An hour later and a fake tan spray down, we both ended up at Maya!! (Yeah, baby yeah!) Due to our dearest posh matey Flic who was interviewing celebs at the event..(and she’s bloody good at it too) we muscled are way in dressed as delciousness and partied our arses off!
All i remember is standing on anything that could be stood on and dancing on it, with bottles of wine..grey goose in the air..with shots, shots, shots! We were AWESOMENESS! The good thing about having a tv show air this evening i guess, is getting free bottles of Grey Goose. All of sudden Sexual Samuel and I we’re soo popular and everyone wanted to sit at our table, so they could drink all our fucking wine and steal all our vodka!!! Hilarious!! I just remember a gaggle of girls, some HOT ass boys, (soo many) who kept trying to pull my dress down and trying to hit on Samuel. They’re was hip/hop madness, lady ga ga, our lovely Flic and party insania!! We basically lived life should be lived!! And celebrated ours!! We were fablous drunken tits and desperately hoping people would sambuca spike our drinks! They did! We ended up ungracefully exiting the club, being followed by random men and then i guess i stole his house keys, leaving him standing a bit Mcdrunky (code for trashed) on Tottenham Court road. Hilarious! Greatest night EVER!!!
Me with Dino from Zoo magazine. (Which i’m in this week…plug, plug) I randomly bumped into him at the Nokia party. I’ve known him for almost 9 years. CRAZY! I’m LOVING life!!! I hope it gets naughty though. I’m up for a bit of scandalous behaviour! And as always it’s never too far away…
Last night was AMAZING! I woke up at 12.43 this afternoon, which is half making me think i’m a ’28 year old, thinks she’s still 18′ loser and half making me believe i’m GREATNESS to beable to still work my Va Voom. (God i’m starving. My hotel doesn’t do food!!)
As you all know, i partied with the Miss. Hilton and the other BBF’s last night. It was the first time i had seen the little lovelies (well some of them…lol) since the show. So although i was all ‘happy happy, silver sequins and winks’ it did kinda feel quite odd. And not a jolly old ‘odd’…a more this is fucking weird ‘odd.’ It just rockets you back to this magical land of ‘October 08’ and you think about all the things you said, all the things you did. It was so surreal, that it’s hard to get along with the BBF’s under normal circumstances!! (Haha…it could just be me!) This is sounding bad…but i don’t mean it too. Oh God! I have a couple i’m very close to and they know who they are. Yet with some of the others i’m just kinda like ‘oh yeah…we did a show together…good times!’ Watch the show…it will all come to light!
Anyway, lets get to the good stuff! We partied at a Hotel for a few shots and pressie exchanges. I bought ‘P’ a gift as a ‘thankyou.’ I’m kinda grateful that she chose me as one of the 12 BBF’s. It’s an amazing experience and my Mother taught me that good manners are essential, so i gave her 2 little gifts…a ring and a fun bracelet thing that says ‘PARIS’ on in diamonds to say ‘Me thanky!’ I was a bit shy to give it too her at first, as i didn’t wanna look like a suck-up. haha! Then Samuel who i adore, had also come with gifts. So i thought, ‘Fuck it, lets just do it.’ We did and she loved them!
Next stop was the Nokia party. I just remember hustle bustle, the paparazzi going crazy around Paris. I remember being shoved a lot, being treated extremely well, a lot of grey goose, good times, seeing Dino (Zoo friend,) showing fredrick how to work a glow stick (i have many talents,) wiggling around Lady Ga Ga, whilst she was spinning, roped off VIP sections, falling off my too small heels at least 72 times, ‘Sanjay’ from Eastenders, meeting Mutya from Celeb Big Brother and very drunkly telling her she shouldn’t have walked off the show. She was cool, but probably thought i was some random drunk wannabe in sequins!! Lol.. (and i am.) Then i gazed my merry eyes on baby George Sampson!! Oh my god, if i have an illegal crush on anyone…it is HIM! He was in our little VIP section and i think i molested him with smoochies! Haha! He’s the cutest little thing and very obliging. Doesn’t say much, which is a bit of a drag and his ‘people’ were very eager for him to have his picture taken with Miss. Hilton. I tried to give him a shot…(y’know, the old ‘conversation and hennessey’ tactic)…but quite sensibly and since he’s only 16.. declined!! Even if he was 10 years older…he’d still be younger than me!! Makes me want to cry into a beer. I should have totally slipped him the tongue!
Had the GREATEST of nights! My life is changing. Its sooo fun, it’s soo surreal and i feel lucky! I wish it would last forever. God i feel hungover. I feel like a tramp. This socialite malarky is hard work. It’s kinda just like my life anyhow, but with a lot more added booze, smiling and waving.
Look at my face!!! I want to have dirty sex with George Sampson!!
Busy day. It started in a family planning clinic in Barnsely, having a natter and a wink with a lovely of Merries, who opted for a life in the medical field. Swiftly followed by a trundle up to the train station..all furs coat and bright pink luggage on wheels. Two trains, lots of stares. A quick ‘shit i need to buy a digital camera’ moment. So with luggage and fur and bad ass attitude..i struggle up to Argos (don’t ask) and mid-buying my camera my blackberry rings and i have to do a radio interview there and then, in the middle of Argos..dressed like a slutty poodle, with pink luggage and the people of Doncaster staring at me, like they wanted me to be DEAD! Good times!
Long story short…i get on a train to London. Which is where i am now..at the Central Park Hotel, in my hotel room, with a glass of white wine and an egg sandwich! I’m hanging out with the good girls and guy of the new Paris Hilton show, that you’ve all heard of tonight. We haven’t seen each other in ages, so this will be quite bizarro. I actually feel a bit nervous. As my memories have been such a bitchyblur, that this regrouping will bring it all back! (You can watch the new preview of the First episode at itv.com)
I’m in ZOO today boys…so go buy your copy! I LOVE ZOO and thanx to the good people up in their manly, god-like boobie heaven. I am one of their FAVOURITE bbf’s ready to fight it out, to be Miss.Hiltons new Bristish bestie! So get your copy now. I’m also on their hotlist of their ultimate rundown of this weeks SEXIEST (yes it’s in block capitals) women! Up there with Pamela Anderson and Scarlett Johansson!! Booyah! This is all going to my head. I love it!
Wish me luck for tonight! Kisses