13 Day B-Day Countdown, Champagne & Perverts

It’s FREEZING, but i don’t mind. I mean if you choose to celebrate the Christmas season, you can’t really moan when it gets a bit chilly…even though i am having moments where i believe i should be on some tropical island, being fanned by the help, as i sip on fruity cocktails. However, if you don’t embrace the cold, you’ll simply die with it. Therefore, i’m opting for wrapping up warm (as in wearing trousers instead of my mini) and galloping into December with a *wink.* It seems to be snowing everywhere, BUT in Pontefract. Everyone on Facebook keeps *yadda-yaddering* about all the snow? Snow? Where? Not outside my window. I think it’s snowing more on Facebook than it actually is outside. ๐Ÿ™‚

Okay, so quick catch up. I’m at a coffee shop, looking quite glam for a preggo. It smells like nutmeg, i have great hair, i’m embracing being pale and i’m trying to forget about a time when some boy i was dating, ended up taking me to some random, hideous Asian kareoke bar, where you could only drink Crown Royale and your nails glowed in the dark. It was weird, dark and sort of under-groundy and you could only really ‘get in’ if you were Asian…or a dirty old, rich, white man, or my date. ๐Ÿ™‚ Every minute of it was detested. Then it got worse, when some rich, old white man, with a taste for girls from the orient, invited us into his private kareoke booth for more Crown Royale, odd flirtation and song singing in a completely different language. I actually got my date and I kicked out, because it soon became apparent that the dirty, old, rich, white man, equipped with 2 little Asian groupies, only had room for OBEDIENT girls from the orient. Everyone kept looking at us bizarrely, like we were part of some ninja, Triad movie. He kicked me out of the booth, for not wanting to sit next to him…:) and with a ‘I am NEVER coming to a creepy place, where my nails glow in the fricking dark AGAIN!!!’ My date escorted me home. A weird boy for me to date. He must’ve had some bizarre Asian fetish..and well he enjoyed places that felt like an adventure. I don’t mind adventure, provided it is drizzled in pure diamond luxury and not filled with perverts. *Please delete from mind.* (Thoughts of Asian perverts don’t go well with Chai Tea lattes. You definitely need gin for that!)

So, i’ve started my birthday countdown. I can’t remember whether i’ve told you on here or not, but it’s now only 13 DAYS until i turn another year older, which means only 10 more DAYS, until i venture off to the luxury log cabin with Keiran and Rubes. *Hurrah* I simply can’t wait and because we’ll all get to lay in, walk around naked and not have a care in the world, or places to be at certain times. BLISS! Our only troubles will be deciding whether we want to lay around stuffing our faces, whilst watching Christmas movies, taking a walk in the woods, ordering room service to the cabin, or hot tubbing…and maybe in the buff. I can’t think of anything better, other than champagne. (I miss champagne.) Give me my wine goggles back!

To be honest, i don’t actually have anything to report, other than the fact that, i’m doing facials every day, i woke up in Keiran’s cum this morning that he left on the bed, i’m loving having a new bambino on the way and i’m wanting to find some sexier pyjamas. The evening before my hubby was trying to convince me that age was only a number and didn’t really matter. I beg to differ and simply because i’m certainly not the same person at 32, as i was at 5. AND at 32, i would never consider having a 17 year old boyfriend. I get that its more about development and life experience and that an age is simply pin pointing that stage of development in number form. But whatever, i’m sticking to my guns. People can date whoever they want, yet if you date someone older, you can’t complain that they do older people things, instead of frollocking around on young ground and making old people decisions. Plus, if you date younger, you can’t really be too shocked when they act immaturely and make stupid young peoples decisions, that they are yet to see as foolish. C’est la vie.

Humans are weird creatures anyhow, before you even get on the age thing. Not to mention the male species being odder than ever. The other day, ย a Polish man came up to me in a toy store with a puppet wedged upon his arm and squeaked it in my face. I looked, smiled (in order to not seem rude,) then politely walked away. He followed me and then attempted to ask me out…still with the puppet on his arm, who apparently likes coffee too? I simply grabbed whatever i was purchasing for my little Baby Rubes, told him that i was very much taken and wiggled off into the distance, with my charm in tact. Then i got followed by a really old man in a black Porsche, who spotted me, drove by, drove by again, then pulled up next to me, to tell me that i was ‘beautiful’ and whether i would be ‘free some time for a drink.’ Men must like drinks with me? Be they men with puppets or men with Porches. Both with toys…yet still, not for me. The Polish man with the puppet did humour though, as i really did think he was an actual lunatic and firstly felt warmed by him. Then when i realized he was simply using lunacy as a way to pull me, he became dull. As is *squeaking* in my face, with felt fur, is going to work on ‘The Wunna.’ When you are forgetting to bring your suit of shining armour and champagne dinner…you are already going wrong. The old man in the Porche? I’m Asian. I’m used to it. ๐Ÿ˜‰

God, it’s got busy in here now. The place is filled with happy cold noses, wanting to get warm. I’m waiting for Keiran, who’s gone to run an errand. He’s narked off today, because he’s just had his bank card taken off him, by a bank teller because he hadn’t signed the back of it. I didn’t know they could do that!! It’s so frustrating when you’re banned from easy access to your own money. He’s currently practising, ‘The Secret’, so attempting to stay as positive as possible. I’m sure it’s not easy for him, as we’re both the most feisty human beings when angry. He’s probably wanting to smash windows, behind that painted smile. Plus, you don’t mess with that mans money. It pisses him off. It’d piss me off too, as we both like access to spondoolees and the smell of cold hard cash. It keeps the blood running through our system in a warm, delicious manner. We do get that love is the key to all success. Yet we have that…so now lets make dosh. (Especially when we’re both so good at it.) Ugh. I’m getting tired now, which happens once i get my juices flowing. I’ve just taken my preggo pill too, so Lord knows what my hormones will deliver shortly. It’s like a hideous roller coaster, filled with uncontrolable emotions. It’s fun. NOT! This is why i need champagne in my life. I’m sure it would calm me and make me feel as though the world is a safe place after all. (I’m currently having a flashback of me trying to explain the art of ‘a little honey goes a long long way’ to The Hubs. When dicussing a friend, i blurted out that ‘every girl knows that flirting with a man, and showing him some love’ gets you what you want. ๐Ÿ™‚ He does actually agree…even though he was a little alarmed at first. However, i smeared on the ‘honey’ and just like that, we was smiling. ๐Ÿ™‚

Okay, i don’t have anything else to say now and if i do, i’ve forgotten it. So i’m going. Happy Thursday!

13 day birthday countdown!








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