Today i’ve managed to land myself on Northern soil until Wedsnesday. I’m in Yorkshire, (my pretty winks of a doo-darr)… went shopping (in Doncaster,) got mobbed…fucking loved it. I love Donny for their sheer dedication to The Wunna. Then i got awkardly attached to a Christmas tree, that was covered in elves…(‘attached’ as in tangled into it….and not as in ‘had romantic feelings’ toward it) and bought the centre out of makeup, under age children and useless things with sequins on. I’m also completely obsessed with ‘Dynasty’ again. ‘Oooh‘ much! I saw the ad for it at Camden Tube station and did a little wee. Oh and with Christmas on an old rollio. I’m up here, due to my Christmas duties.and turning lights on in towns? Lucky you! I’m starving.
Other than that, I’ve been called a ‘devious swine,’ met 2 young girl fans called ‘Sinita & Sophie’ (there you go…there’s ya ‘shout out.’ Loved ya platts!)I’m feeling fun, flirty and positive…(not HIV…as that would be a little awkward) and i’m flaunting my ‘frilly froos.’
I’m beginning to love phrases of silliness…like ‘Hanky-panky,/Greedy guts/Squiddley diddley/and Whore.’ They tickle my fancy and well although there isn’t too much of me you can tickle without getting ‘pounced’ on then ferociously humped. After these 20 Yorkshire puds i’m about go McGobble…(ooh-er)…i’ll be feeling a little frisky!
Talking about 20…the phrase ‘TTYN‘ was said to me exactly 22 times today, in the space of 1hr 43 minutes at the Frenchgate shopping centre! I feel like a deliciously boobied walking billboard for Hilton. She’s a very smart girl! Before anyone does the ‘shock’ face and says my name at me…the name ‘Paris Hilton’ is said 5 seconds before it! I’m like free advertising…but rubbish coz i’m naughty. Oops!
I’m still utterly freezing…i was so bored last bight, due to having to pack. I don’t believe in folding my life into bags, simply to travel them for no real reason. Wherever i go…i want to take MY WORLD! (And dildo.) There’s better things i could be doing, like being a pisshead and mooning strangers…or looking at my pretty self in diamonds as i pout. I’ve been forcing my will upon people because i need a little glam madness. All they have in Yorkshire is….gravy.
Hope your all feeling a fierce warmth for yourselves! I’m well aware this blog was shit…but you try writing it with sunglasses on, 7 kittens pissing all over you, an attitude problem and a Mother…who’s insistant that you refrain from FUCKING swearing!