Yell Jimmeny Cricket

So i woke up this morning with all sorts of nonsense running through my mind. I was suffering from a severe case of ‘What am i doing?’ I’m having these a lot more frequently nowadays. I get thundered and haunted by a stream of ridiculous flashbacks. All my sins, all at once. Save me!! Or don’t? As of right now, I’m getting up to a lot in my love life area, which is an area that i really shouldn’t be tampering with. I’m at a stage in my love life, where names cannot be mentioned and stories cannot be told….just yet (as ofcourse stories can always be told, yet at the right time….which is always years after!!! It’s a carefully timed choreography.) You’d think  my ‘hush-hush’ would be to there to protect others, right? But really it’s there to protect little myself. I was staring at my ceiling having an ‘oh not this again’ moment as i guess Hollywood Chrissie Wunna 2005 re-entered the building. I don’t like her…she scares me. (God i’m sounding like a proper nut job!) I need gin. It always goes well with a bit of insanity.

On a lighter note…how great is life right now!! I’m loving it! I’m feeling filled to the brim with a bubbly ‘Va Voom’ and a cheeky shade of ‘Um Bongo.’ My best friend is calling me a ‘Spacker,’ my other friends are repeating the words ‘Back of Burma’ and well i’m causing a bit of a stir stir in this world that we are living in and i don’t really care, as that’s what i intended to do! Shake it up a little. I guess we’re all simply fighting for our space. Unfortunately my tactic is poncing around in a frilly skirt and boob job, with a ‘spank me’ stick as my only companion, until i terrifed you away. I’m a bit of a science project right now. Everyone wants to read me, examine me, pull me to pieces and glue me back together with a horrendous amount of Prit stick. But i’m used to it. Lets get this show on the road. I can stick myself back together….later!

I forgot to tell you, that during my trip to London (and i told you i always have an army of soliders who monitor my behaviour in order to keep me out of trouble, and pull my reins back when i’m about to charge forward with a foolish excitement,) well one of them ‘Wazza’ who couldn’t be on my trip (simply because he wasn’t invited …) decided he was going to act as my text based version of Jimmeny Cricket. Y’know, text me every 4 seconds, with viscious warnings, to make me think about what i’m about to do. Unfortunately he said ‘Jimmy Cricket’ ( who is the 1980’s Irish comedian..haha) which we both prefer to any ruddy Disney Character. (My favourite Disney Character by the way is ‘Johnny Depp.’ Lol.)

Anyway, so as i was trying to live my life, every 15 mintues i’d get a text message from Wazza, which when opened would produce a retarded picture of a jolly ‘Jimmy Cricket’ staring at me, with a ‘How’s it going’ caption and a severely brutal warning, in the form of ‘words of wisdom!!’ One which read…Ok 🙂 slow down on the drinking a bit! But still have fun! Also remember you’re not actually in love with him!!’ Love it!!!!

Other than that, i have blog readers who are getting offended my blogs and demanding that i remove some of the ‘inappropriate’ parts. I’m the most inappropriate part of this whole goddamn thing! Remove me??? All i’m gonna say to that is, YOU unfortunately don’t get to write my blog!! (hahaha.)  Sucks balls dunnit! It’s bloody CHRISSIEWUNNA.COM. My thoughts, my story, MY WAY!! Not ‘EVERYONEELSE.COM.’ If you don’t like my blog, just don’t read it. You crack me up. There’s no need to get ya knick- knacks in a twister-roo!! Nothing will be removed just because you don’t like it. That’s the way the world works. Write you’re own life, don’t edit MINE!!

Okay, i’ve got to love you and leave you as, i’m being told to work harder instead of simply pouting at my laptop screen, hoping for attention. I’ve just been called ‘creepy’ by a fifteen year old George Sampson fan. They’ll be more on that later.

Chrissie xx

 

7 thoughts on “Yell Jimmeny Cricket”

  1. U always confuse me. I think you should make a giant effort to not be cockney anymore. LOL I’ve gone off cockney essex boys…Try it. You might like it! hahaha

    Reply
  2. Haha people getting offended by your blog. I think it’s quality entertainment, you seem to have an interesting story everyday.

    Reply
  3. Why thankyou kind sir. I mean i’ts a bit rubbish, but when ya bored a bloody good read!! LOL. Yeah people are getting offended at my LIFE! hahaha. It doesn’t get better than that!

    Reply
  4. ok i am only being who i am chrissie. what do u want me to be chrissie? i was only talking about shearer coming back to newcastle and u say u dont like me beaing a cockney essex boy wich i am babe

    Reply

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