‘OMG I love how you can throw your entire world over your shoulder and work it like it’s an accessory Chrissie!’
Well, well, well. How the tables have turned. But before i get to that, my little bundles of bootilicious. Let me tell you how wonderful my Friday at work was! I don’t know what came over Me. I was tired, yet chipper, up, but hazy. It was one of those days at the office, where nothing goes right, everything goes wrong, yet every being working for the company (Xercise4less) just sat back in their swivel chair, when Friday had simply got the better of us (mainly because we were all starving) either kicked off their kitten heels, or held their head in frustration, *paused* for a moment, adjusted their boobs, then pissed themselves laughing. (‘That’s it, i’m going home. I need a sandwich and she’s being a cow.’ LMAO) What I love about my day job, is simply the fact that i’m around normal people with their own merry stories and everyday. I’m around intimate human existance. We’re like one big happy, yet dysfunctional family. We hold each other up, when the other needs a gin and well we’re all there building up a company for our jolly old ‘boss man’ Jon. I’m actually loving it and mainly because i can *wink* and get away with everything.
Ruby and I are currently Divine, she’s giggling and throwing a tantrum all the same time. I’ve taught her well. Get what you want, but do it with charm. Unfortunately, she performs her manipulative magic on Me, her teacher, the sack of perfectly toned flesh that contained her very genius. Ruby’s an ‘IT’ baby, who pretty much has everything she wants, including ‘Chrissie Wunna.’ I mean, i found myself trying to pout and bronze my own mirror image at 7.02am, after playing ‘You have your own tv show & you’re in a 5* milk restaurant’ (her favourite games after ‘Dancing girl’ and ‘winking at each other’.) Being a new mum is hilarious, when you’re a Glamour puss. All you’ll hear is Me muttering the words ‘Don’t you smudge my eyeliner Rubes!!!/ Noooo that’s Chanel.‘ 🙂 We’re all doing fine and well today The Wunna’s are not only delicious. But also headed for BIG shopping day in Doncaster. I always need the end of my work week to be celebrated. I’m made for pleasure and not for hard labour. I should be rewarded for simply attempting to be productive and not being allowed to wear a glitter mini skirt from Mon-FRI. I’m finally looking into my account and it’s actually glowing at me, instead of giving me a booze burp and a middle finger. This means shoes. Infact, this means shoes FOR EVERYONE!!!! Yay! (*smallprint* If you do happen to see me today mid-shop. I won’t buy you shoes. 🙂 )
Over the last week, my blog hits have jolted up to a merry high and well i’m glad that you’ve been championing me through all of the drama. I feel like i’ve won the war and well his poor excuse for a ‘Mz. Thang’ sister has ‘now learnt to stay out of what’s not her business.’ Don’t try and tumble into my life with your grubby little mouth and pointy little fingers, because I don’t one bit care! I’m Chrissie Wunna, i write a blog. Deal with it. I have a voice and there’s nothing she can do because when she talks no-one hears. When I do…tens thousands of people in the world tune in. I’ve worked hard for that voice and i have great hair, so iN YOUR FACE! *spritz here.*
Talked to Pete yesterday, who’s been wallowing in the merry stage of regret, pain and ‘please come back’ syndrome. I’ve felt fine and because I’m busy. When your busy, you seem to operate on a fastpaced autopilot, but really giving you too much time to throw a pity party. He’s now understood what he did wrong and where he did wrong and desperately wants me back. I shouted at him a little more, to make sure he truely understood. Words are words, show me change. People never truely mean anything they say the first time they say it, be it ‘i love you’ or ‘I will change.’ He’s now had a week of suffering and well tonight Ruby and I venture back into his world and simply because she needs her dad. Raising a baby is a Team job. Plus, both my Mum and Karan at work (older, wiser women) opened my eyes and heart. They’ve met a lot of different people in their lives, a lot of different characters, so i respect them whole heartedly.
Therefore I performed (and because yeah ‘older- wiser’ works, but there’s always a Chrissie Wunna twist.) I performed the ‘Ultimatum for an Ultimatum’ game. How fun! he threw one at me, which crumbled our family. Therefore I gave Pete one back.
‘I’m only going to come back on the terms that i get an apology, I NEVER have to associate with your family EVER, you will not try to control my blog, (it was here before you) and you have to do everything I say until I feel comfortable, grow up, face you responsibilities and never let his awful bitch sister do that again?’
He (quite stupidly) agreed. 🙂 Therefore yeah, tonight we go back and place him on probation. If we don’t like it and he does not keep to his word…we leave. I’m telling you girls. Train your men! Bottom line Ruby needs a daddy and what Pete didn’t realize is that he had everything. He had MORE than other members of his family and that was love, happiness, a beautiful baby, girlfriend, life and world.’ He kinda had to lose it all in order to appreciate it, which is a lesson i learnt a bit earlier than him. My strength was misjudged. It’s weird how he thought he had be forever, so easily. Now he’s learnt a life lesson. I’m great at teaching people them the hard way. 🙂
I enjoy how his annoying sister (who i will always despise) believed that she could control MY blog?? LMAO. Who could she quite possibly think she is? To me…she’s a joke. Pete called Me this morning with a ‘Well she’s deleted you off her Facebook.’ LMFAO!! Are they 14 years old? I mean, oooh how dare she! Lol *sarcastic face.* Now i’ll steal all her school books and tell everyone she’s a slut in P.E. What idiots! It’s hilarious! Yet the funniest thing about it, is the simple fact that I didn’t EVEN notice and in my dusty book of knowledge, that pretty much radiates her importance in my life. Motto: Don’t bullshit with a blogger and expect her not to write about you.
Can’t wait to shop. Need to groom. Back to Pete’s tonight. But only for Ruby and not as a couple. A weird little conundrum really. Until I get the Princess treatment, there’s zero Wunna Love.