Having a brilliant morning. Got to enjoy a lie in. It’s 12.20 in the afternoon. I’m still in my pyjamas, it’s snowing outside and i’m rocking this world like a CHAMPION! (Glitter explosion, glitter explosion, throw your knickers in the air and scream, OOH laa.) Life is a goody. It’s a dandy feast of magic. Other than that i feel bloated, like i should’ve been arsed to fan take last night and for a slanty eyed, over eyelashed Umpa lumpa, (i’m short in height-even BBF Kat laughed at how tiny i was when we were pissed up at the Mayfair and she’s a shorty too) my knees are deciding not to work today. Doesn’t really make any form of sense. But i just figured Umpa lumpas knees are of the working variety? Mine have been buggered up after getting run over (hahaha) outside Sushi Roku in LA 2 years ago. I flew through the air like a catapulted aerobic hussy. Genius!
I’ve had the papers and mags on the blower to me this morning. It scares me now. (haha) I’ve finalized my local press interview approx: 3.7 mins ago. I’m on the front page of the Doncaster (where i was birthed) Free Press tomorrow. (Love it. Hilarious) I wrote an evil, yet honest email last night to a lovely somebody and have had 2 other interviews since. I have one for America tomorrow that i need to remember to postpone and yeah…it’s getting harder and harder. Methinks i’m about to get F***** with! (lol.) But i can handle a mind play. No-one else can though. I find it hard to lie or more ‘hold back truths. ‘You can ask anyone. I’ve been told i look like a 5 year old who’s told a ridiculous tale. I can’t look people in the eye. It’s so obvious. And really it’s a major flaw in the making of Chrissie Wunna. I believe the Art of lying with the greatest of ease is almost essential in the life i’ve chosen to live. I intend to get better at it, by taking the time to lie to everyone. Haha! Three cheers!
I’ve also just managed to buy a VIP ticket to go watch Russell Brand be funny in Nottingham on the 20th. I could’ve got my mucky hands on the ticket for free. But i’m a huge supporter of the arts…so paying for a VIP ticket, in my mind is the ultimate way to go. Plus, he’s always randomly walking into to dreams, washing my dishes uninvited and for free. So i’m gonna walk into and spy on his ‘land of funny’- yet with a paid in full reciept! Hopefully that means i don’t have to wash any dishes. And i’m told i get free drinks at the posh bar. I better get a good seat. I’m on REALITY TELLY for gods sake! lol
Tonight if you live in the land of SHEFFIELD. I Chrissie Wunna will be out and about there this evening, doing dinner, drinks, clubbing and going to listen to Scott Mills do his DJ demon Mc Moves. If you see me say hello. I don’t bite when it’s cold. Plus, i’ll be trashed, so i’m much more agreeable.