So last night before the ‘Cinderella’ hour struck, i got a call from ‘Latin Lover’ in LA who after a strong Bloody Mary decided to open his heart, tell me how much it aches for me, (yes he’s quite expressive) declare how much he misses me, how much he needs me so deeply…followed by a delicious ‘how much do you weigh right now? Like.. are you fat?’ (Hahaha!) Luckily, i’m missing Hollywood, so it reminded me of ‘good times.’ Bless him! He then mid-flattery slurred away mid sentence and then passed out (probably on the sofa infront of him.) I hung up, laughed and thought i have a pretty awesome life! I reduce boys to drunken slurrs of expression, until the ultimate yet romantic moment of ‘pass-out.’
It feels like Summer bitches..(well sort of) and i’m a ‘likey likey.’ Summer is for SINGLEDOM, so for those of you obsessing over a ‘refuses to love you’ boy…don’t bother, it’s not worth it!! Saying that i do intend to trick some boy (any boy) into going on holiday with me for 4 sexy days of heat. I do a lot of things alone, yet i love the company of all delicious males and at all times, therefore i’ll usually bag one to accompany me to dinner, parties, errands or simply fun in the sun. I’m an exotic whore of a Glamour Puss AND a ‘Wunna’… it’s what we do! I’ve been doing it since i was 17. I can’t function if i don’t have male eye candy around me. It brings out the best in everyone!! Or is it just me??
I’m currently being stalked by 15 year old girls who fancy George Sampson, due to the fine art of Facebook. Ugh! Lucky me! Remember i said i met him at the Nokia event ages ago and if he was 10 years older…i’d absolutely (insert your own phrase in here.) Well he wrote a simple ‘hey how are you, nice meeting you’ kinda message on my wall, that i followed up with a ‘Hey Sexy, i’m madly in love with you, whats shaking?‘ (Hahah..yes he’s 15.) He replied with a ‘I’m fine and going on Oprah’ type thing, that ended with me saying, ‘Lets hang out soon…Like do lunch or dinner.’ Which he agreed to….when he had time. (Hahah…he’s already a little player! Good boy!!)
Okay, just incase you’re a 15 year old girl, who keeps calling me ‘creepy’ or trying to grill me about little George…. ‘LUNCH’ is not ‘SEX,’ it’s food!! It’s comes with a side or fries, or a salad…not a round of herpes and a broken heart!! It’s a ‘catch up,’ a time to gossip about lives, a high five, a time to unwind. In the world of showbiz people of ALL ages hang out. I have friends ranging from the ages of 15-65!! Samuel’s one of my BEST friends…he’s only 19!! If i wanna do lunch with someone…i’m gonna do it. I’m not R.Kelly, i’m not gonna make him ‘body pop in the rain’ (well maybe..lol) then take him to my evil den of sin and wee all over him, for kicks. JESUS!! I’m Chrissie Wunna (light hearted, fun loving chick that runs around with feathers celotaped to her nipples! ) I think he’s done brilliantly…but wow there’s nothing like the scorn of a scary 15 year old Sampson fan! I Love it!!! It’s interesting to see how obsessed teenage girls become of things. Or maybe that’s just girls in general? Not me. There’s not enough time in this little ‘life,’ to waste….(on anything but booze and winking.)