I’ve finally made it to Monday and I couldn’t be happier. So much happened over the weekend. I was working with the rest of The Wunna’s, in Sheffield, as we were filming over the last two days. Ruby was away with school for one of those days, which threw me off a bit, because I missed her so madly.
People were trying to both love and attack Wunna Land, all at the same time. My Twitter account was hacked and stolen. Twitter never gave me the account, because they don’t believe i’m the real me???
I found out one of my friends passed away. They took their own life. Then I got some news about ‘DBear.’ The boyfriend. (Who i love very dearly.) The news was actually great, because it’s exciting for me, but for some reason, with everything going on, everything hit me all at once…and I got a little overwhelmed.
Friday night I laid in bed and had a MASSIVE MASSIVE CRY, before sleep. Weirdly, that night, I had THE BEST sleep ever, after shocking myself up at 4.29am. I lulled back to ‘dream land,’ yet woke up a whole new woman. I was filled with happiness.
So, I guess it’s really important to firstly be able to EXPRESS emotion. Always let it out. But do it in the most healthy fashion. This isn’t an excuse to go off the rails. It’s about happy, healthy freedom from stress.
Never bottle things up or hold things in. When you don’t have a release, you burden your mind and soul. Things get harder and harder. It’s not that jolly. Lol. Joining the bury brigade, or opting for the stressy pancake stack, will only hurt yourself.
Friday morning, I had a mini cry. The mini cry wasn’t enough. I held it back in my kimono, because the kids were there. Friday night, when the light were off and I was all alone…I had THE BIG CRY and OH MY GOD, i never felt better.
I woke up refreshed, refueled and ready to take on anyone and anything.
It’s all I needed.
So, I’ll tell you now… my work life is great and it’s great because yes, I enjoy success, making money and achievement. However, at the same time I’m someone who KNOWS what matters TO ME. I know what matters in life. In my life.
I’ve never felt so together…. so stable. I’m a good girlfriend, mother, daughter…human. I feel invincible because I value love over money.
For example, everyone keeps asking me about my Twitter hack. I don’t need a Twitter account. Who gives a fuck about that!?! No one, but THEM (the hackers.) It’s funny…. and illegal. BTW. (Which I guess they will find out about shortly.)
The things I care about, I have! And they’re my babies, my family, true love, friendships and the utter happiness that meanders through Wunna Land, with giggles, jokes, life and love.
That’s real. That’s my worth. That’s what I couldn’t live without…But iv’e always known that. I’m not someone who’s ever got lost in a haze. Yet, I thank my Mother for that. She always kept me grounded. Always kept things real….with love. She showed me what true happiness was all about.
The reason why i wanted to put that out there, is because there’s still so many people who maybe haven’t yet grasped their true version of happiness.
You will never get lost if you surround yourself with love, support and good people. You’re a product of your environment…yes. But those with the right strength and kindness around them, never feel alone. And during blips, you are brought back to your feet with love.
Kenny: ‘Hi. I haven’t seen you in ages..’
Me: ‘I know. I’ve been hiding, stressed and wanting everyone to leave me alone. Haha. ‘
Kenny: ‘Yeah I saw all that about your Insta & Twitter. You’ve been taking care of everyone else and not yourself.’
Me: ‘Well yeah, I do that. Haha.’
Kenny: ‘Do me a favour…when that fat man, who looks like a lump comes near you, abuse him for me, because he always makes fun of me whenever I stop to talk to you.’
Me: ‘Nooo. Haha. I can’t do that.’
Kenny: ‘Where are ya kids??? They would!!!’
Hahaha…and just like that, life went back to normal.