Well Done Me!

Morning my merry Kodak Moments of Conundrum! I woke up this morning to a lady jeweller, placing pearls infront of my face, requesting my attention and making me choose which ones i would like to purchase. I’m not sure why a meeting of sorts was scheduled for such a ‘Sunday Morning’ time? I couldn’t be arsed to get out of bed, so i made her come to my bedroom boudior and perform her delicious ‘sale.’ I was sat all dollified, half tucked into my sheets, in baby blue pyjamas littered in multi coloured hearts. I’ve done meetings in bed before, however luckily today, i didn’t have to introduce her to the random ‘Handsome’ that i may have seemed to have collected at 1.50am from any booze house of sin. She looked a little worried like i was going to stab her with stilettos. Yet she left saying ‘Omg, you’re a lot more down to earth than i ever imagined. ‘ (I obviously have a reputation of marvel.)

I actually didn’t commit to picking any pearls and because i didn’t have my contacts in. (Call me a waste of time but don’t come laiden with baby ocean treasures, found and captured by hot seaman…WITHOUT the SEAMEN! I’m Chrissie Wunna…not Miss. fricking. World. But ahhh….Alas the life of a Glamour Puss. The sheer thought of the option delighted me enough to *fan* myself and call myself a Queen. (Infact, i also called myself a ‘Queen’ whilst doing something else *wink wink* 3 mintues after she left. I haven’t commited to a ‘fiddle’ in a long time because i’ve been gifted with a willy, and an odd one at that! I mean it has some kind of man attached to it, that tell me he loves me. *puzzled face* We can’t win them all!

 *PAUSE* I’m currently getting a Flashback of when i made Samuel & Flic pushed two twin beds together in order to make me a ‘Princess’ bed during my stay at the BBF mansion. Meddy walked in and complained with a ‘You don’t even use that side of your bed!’ (Erm..you dont even wake up on time to do any of the tasks! lol) Luckily Flic (aaah how i love Flic) replied with an ‘It’s simply the option of her knowing that she has it, that makes her happy!’)  A girl of great wisdom. I love that we once stalked a hot swimmer boy named ‘Ben’ who seemed to enjoy wearing tight  fitting speedos. After we called him out of his swimmers lane and made him play in the hot tub with us, we found him in an spa elevator. I think i told him i wanted to *lick* him. The itv2 staff commited to *eye rolls* and *giggles*..then i got pulled out of the elevator and thrown into the car to keep any other Speedo swimming boys out of trouble! 🙂

Anyway, today is not just any day.. you pretty swine monkies! Today is my 3 MONTH…yes you heard! 3 MONTH anniversary with ‘Loverboy.’ (Bring out the banners!) I mean, who said i couldn’t do long term relationships!!!! Booyah! Heellllooo? 3 months much? In your face! He text me this morning telling me how much he adores me…we argued yesterday at the Red kite, where we did drinks and lunch in the sun. Well he didn’t argue, i did, and because i didn’t get my own way! When i want things, i want them immediately. This didn’t happen, so i took out my anger on the ‘Handsome’ that loves me. (Trophy please!) I think i just don’t like eating in the blazing sun. I wanted a cigarette, a *moment,* more fun and a cigarette. 🙂 I kicked off and made us look like one of those hot couples that despise each other! I spent the rest of the time crying on his Mums sofa. Hahaha. #Tragic

After a tantrum…and i’m quite delicious at them now…something in me (wine) made me happy and i immediately went back to being my loving dolly self! We cuddled, we kissed and yeah i’ve done 3 months! This may not sound like a long time to you, but all my relationships have pretty much lasted a night. This one has been the equivalent to approximately 90 one night stands strung togeter in order to form this thing called a loving ‘relationship.’ I’m not used to being tied down, nor do i like the feeling of it. But i’m learning.. which is making my tantrums currently acceptable! I’m one to fight the thought of ‘long term,’ even though i seem to pine for it dearly.

Other than that, i need to get ready, i have lunch today with the Wunnas and i look like a scrubber. I thank you all every dearly for following my life! I do! Don’t think i’m not following yours…i know tiny things about each and every one of you! We’re doing life together and making it completely worth our while! (Code for ‘messy.’) I love you. I actually really hope that one day i get to meet YOU ALL!

I love you.

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