Had my hair done, my nails done, a tanny tan tan sprayed and caught up with a few friends with current tragic love lives over muffins. Right now every single one of my merry maties has got some kind of a terrible love life, ‘shimmie’ going on. I’m blaming the weather. It’s making people sad and needy. I’ll be sitting at a coffee shop, admiring my mirror image, then a text’ll come through messaging some awful news about what a boy has recently done to one of my beauties. Men are weird because they are brought up to learn to be macho and hide how they truely feel…so instead of opening up, they act up, leaving us little ladies to cry into our pillows or wink at another stranger, whilst they kick themselves in the balls repeatedly. You will not believe the ‘hoo-haa’ that’s going on!! It’s a merry- go-round of heartbreak. I’m actually doing alright, right now. Yet my ‘darlings‘ really aren’t. What I’m learning is that when peoples hearts ‘thud, thud, then break,’ they don’t break in one clear solid ‘pull away.’ They shatter into a million pieces or crumble into dust…making it hard to get back on that three legged pony. (Ooh Daddy.)
My advice to anyone…don’t be afraid to love, or to love who you love. Tell them. It makes you strong, adorable and rather grown up. (Girls…it is the BOYs job to make the move.) Men are such pussies in Britain. They’re all scared and shy. Odd? I mean Heaven forbid, if you actually tell a girl you ‘love’ her!! lol. Come on! Man up! (Even if you have to get wasted!) I’m so completely not attracted to ‘not very open- not very confident’ men. It disappoints me. I’m a strong woman. I need a strong, attentive man. Oh and to all my friends who are crying…don’t! No-one will shag you if your always crying. Everyone knows tears are only meant to be used for attention.
Anyway enough of all that jiggery pokery. I wanted to say’ Thank you’ my dandies for reading about my fabulous (code for ‘rubbish’) life. You are not alone and reading it with fantastic members of the world, who also love a bit of ‘The Wunna’ in their life. Just so you know, as i need to quickly pop to the shop. Here is my top ten country countdown for you, in reverse order. These are the fabulous TOP TEN countries that have read my blog the most this MONTH. And this month only…
10. Russia (I love your hats and random leg dance)
9. The rest of Europe (I love the shirtless pictures you inbox me.)
8. China (We all love you. Everythings made there.)
7.Germany (You rock for loving David Hasslehoff.)
6.Burma (The country that I originate from. You hate me. But I love you. Thanx for reading & harrasing my family.)