It’s 7.50am. I’ve been up for an hour grooming for a day of work. The first thing anyone said to me today was ‘You have a brown monkey.’ It was said to me by my Human Wake Up call. All i’m gonna say is, if you’re gonna be a Human Wake up call..it helps if you don’t get into bed with me and fall asleep. It also helps if your ‘human.’ You will get paid in ‘SLAPS!’ I bet the Queen doesn’t have this problem. Saying that Our Liz, probably shags the shit out of her Human Wake up calls. Balls n’all! God Save Her!!
It also seems that my life has been reduced to tissue thin leafy pages, that tear and fall out of a 79p Godiva 100 sheet writing pad. I’m losing my life per strutt, but i think it’s because i’m in a rush!! WHERE’S MY GODDAM EYELASHES????
I’m on my way to Leeds right now, to do my Live Web Chat with the Yorkshire Evening Post. I kinda need a morning tipple. I always get a bit lost in Leeds, so it’ll be an adventure. Thank God the boys are a treat in that neck of the woods. I can do my ‘I’m lost can you help me’ line…over and over again! I got a drunk BBM from Samuel last night that simply read, ‘Livwz j’..i’m assuming that mean he’s submitted to my sexual powers and wants me in his life forever. Grey Goose Rocks!!
I feel sexy sexy today. I’m thinkin g about a quick ‘bunk’ up every single second. I feel like i have sexuality oozing out my pores. Its radiating from me. I’m deliberately wearing a too tight t shirt in dying hope that my bazookas will do all the work for me today, and lure in the tastiest of treats! Purrr….