Hi my sexy little pieces of Shag! This looking for a Mr. Right is going bloody brilliantly. It seems all i have to do, is post ‘need love’ on a blog, and within milli-seconds my inbox is full of ‘penis pictures!’ As much as i love you showing me ya oddly shaped fleshy knomes (winks)…it kind of would help if you put your face in the picture some where…somehow, and tell me a little more about yourself than a size… in inches!! (As i’ll just think that’s how tall you are? And i hate midgets due to sheer fear…just as much as i do farmyard animals!) Beastiality Rocks though. (No judgements! ) If u can take a donkeys ‘doo-darr’ then 2 thumbs up, balls n all. Trophies all around. Three cheers!
I really am going to eventually find my Mr.Right in Britain, and i’ve scheduled my first date for this evening. The fact that i had to actually schedule it…already makes it pretty shit. I’m all for Boys taking charge and being romantic…which is code for organizing everything and going out of their way to impress me. For ‘Hunters & gatherers’…you british boys are slacking!! I had to actually call up an okay-ish boy myself and say ‘You wanna go on a date?’ I already don’t like him. It’s the boys job to do the deal! He does however say he’s read a lot about me online. So i’m pretty much fucked now aren’t I!! Great! I might aswell ruin it for kicks! I’m really good at fucking up dates deliberately, if i don’t like the boy. I’ve had my friends in stitches at some of the stunts i’ve pulled. I once did a puppet show with my fork , starting swearing a lot and talking shit about his Mother… who i’d never met and then slapped him. He still fancied me though? He even asked to marry me. (Twisted fuck! That goes both ways!)
What he’s read online is that i apparently ‘still sleep with my teddy bear, that i call Spastic and dry hump to Barry Manilow.’ I’m ’embarassed to hang out with myself.’ I’m a ‘fucking whore.‘ I ‘avoid dates by lying‘ and my voice ‘is like chlamydia!’ So my voice is like a discoloured dischargey vagina??? Well at least the top half of Me matches the bottom half now!! (HAHAHA..yes i am that sad that i laugh at my own jokes! I need to be a bit more trollied!)
OOh i love this looking for love thing….. Come to Mama! Purrr…. (This boy that was 2 years below me at school, IM-ed me last night, saying he had just broken up with his girlfriend, like an hour ago…and whilst he was on the phone to his MOTHER types…’i want to lick ur vagina!!’) This is not how to get me to love you…the words ‘lick/Vagina’ and ‘Mother’ should never be in the same sentence. Well unless the word ‘Fucker’ is in there somewhere…then it’s actually quite hot! HAHA! (Time in hell.)