Va Voom, Phones & Sex Changes

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Being ‘Me’ is almost like a constant battle of trying to push the ‘circle,‘ through the ‘square’ whole. I’m the type of person that doesn’t  naturally ‘slot in’  anywhere and i don’t really care to. But i’m gonna go with, that’s the whole ‘Charm‘ to being Chrissie  Wunna. I wouldn’t have my over eyelashed, over boobied, over opinionated, over -being, any other way. I love being Me and I embrace the world, with love, ‘Va Voom’ cuddles and numerous cheeky cocktails. I have arm candy whenever i so wish. I enjoy my life to it’s fullest. I’m independant. I’m far too egotistic for my own good. But i’m happy. For the first time in a long time, I feel like everythings just coming together and once again…purely by accident. (I say by ‘accident‘ all the time & it really pisses my LA friends off. I mean they’ve watched me work really hard and they think i don’t give myself enough credit.) The truth is, i do actual get my 24hr  ‘hustle’ on. I just tell you it’s all by ‘accident.’ (I don’t know why i do that??)

Anyway, i just got off the phone to my Mama. Right now, she’s extremely proud of her ‘Vagina litter,’ the fruit of her loins. It moves me back into ‘favourite child’ position, which i enjoy rather much.  T-Mobile are currently attempting to ruin my entire life, by being all automated and unable to fix phone queries. They were ruining it to the soothing sounds of Lady Gaga’s ‘Just dance’ (not the tune i wanted to hear, hungover before noon.) Then to top it all, they followed up with the Beyonce, (‘If i were a boy.’) By the time i was off (what i believe is the Devils way of keeping us from ‘LIVING‘ …yes you know what i’m talking about…..the joys of ‘HOLD.’ I was all purrfectly stressed out with their Tom Foolery and due to their subliminal messages wanted ‘party drugs’ and a sex change. Oh and a different phone plan. My phone bill is atrocious! Is yours? Fucking hell. I’d need to sell my booty on the High street, with egg rolls, in order to come up with a quarter of it. But whatever, i paid it all. I actually paid them to ‘shut up.’

I’m glad Halloweens over. I ended up being in a place, where i didn’t know whether they were dressed up or in their normal attire. I left. I’m far too Glamour puss, pout wink, for a place like that. I looked down at my phone at it read ‘Nov 1st.’ I got mildy freaked out and shouted ‘This is not how i’m beginning the first of any month.’ Roll on Christmas.

Other than that, i have ‘Lashes‘ coming over tonight. A lovely sunday dinner awaiting me. I have ‘Jazz‘ looking for my viriginity. I believe i left it in his pants….with a cactus. He believes it’s loooong gone. I actually believe i was never born with one. You decide?

 

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