Just woke up half sprawled across the back of a black Mercedes, with my head, pretty much asleep on moving cars window, my arms open and my legs diagonally stretched, with my heels slightly kicked off. When you fall asleep in moving vehicles, you know that life has got the better of you and you maybe just need a bit of a kip…be it literal, or emotional.
To my left, bundled, strapped and whatever else in her car sat was my gorgeous ‘IT’ baby Ruby. I’d just carried her around Morrisons (Oh the lofty heights of being a Glamour Puss) and showed her vegetables in what i call ‘show light.’ It actually knackered her out and well there she was with her ‘Mummy in training,’ also fast asleep, with her bow all wonky and everything. (Fashion crime.) Then she pooed and we all cheered. (We were getting driven back home. There were actual other people in the car. When i say ‘we’ i don’t mean ‘imaginary.’) I wished people cheered why I pooed. All they want to do is try and film it and put it on Youtube. 🙂
Did my weekly shop. Came out in baby pink, with grey pencil skirt, holding a snack pack of ‘to be dipped’ prawns, cookies and a can of Gin & Tonic. I love those awful, pre-mixed and canned cocktail’s on the run. I find them weirdly hilariously and because no matter how hard you try to do your ‘i’m so sexy’ strut with one. You always get judged and we all know that’s my favourite.
Anyway, work was good today. It seems that since announcing my newly ‘solo-but with baby’ status, many a ‘handsome’ (and the odd few dodgies, you’ve got to love the dodgies) found their ‘swagga’ legs and tried their ‘ooh laa’ on the little Glamour Puss named ‘Chrissie.’ I’m actually forgot how friendly I was and i’m impressed. I walked through a gym in heels and with every 4.3 steps was stopped by a sweaty gent in lycra. Flirty banter, i believe happened each time and dollies how I milked it. I mean you’ve got to innit. You only live once and well if you’re not winking at everyone then you really need to get with it. I’m a funtime girl and it actually felt great to be sort of back in the game. (I am backwards however. When i’m taken, i seem like an easy pull and when i’m single i’m pretty much the hardest game of pull you’ll ever try to dally with.)
Lots of fun and talk of men, whilst on office swivel chairs occured. Like why do we women always end up having to look after them? Can we really be arsed? I guess so. Anyhow, i talked to Kelly about how Pete had yet to do something extremely impressive in order to ‘win’ my heart, apart from tell me that he loved me, wanted me to be with him, move back in and keep my clothes. (‘Can’t I just keep your stuff Chrissie?? Pleeease.’– It bizarrely keeps Peter in that merry phase of denial..it’s an emotional cocktail that I don’t actually approve of.)
Kelly looked at me, whilst i was coffee making and doing puzzled *bimbo* faces and with a ‘You do know that you do love Pete and you do need to get back together with him soon for Ruby’s sake?’ I looked. I smiled and whilst passing her a freshly strong brew explained that men were like puppies and needed to be trained. (Kelly actually taught me that. Therefore i don’t know why I’m claiming it was all my genius. That’s the ‘Hollywood’ in me.) If you let a guy get away with something once, they will always feel it’s okay for them to do it again. The word ‘sorry’ doesn’t cut it for me. It’s just a 5 letter word. When Pete’s properly learnt his lesson and knows that he cannot under any circumstances be a baby anymore and treat me with disregard. Then he’ll be rewarded. Until then….no love. Then Kelly stretched with a ‘ it’s so hard training men to love us correctly.’ [Glamour pussy giggling occured her.]
I’m feeling quite fancied. I’m feeling another stint on the telly coming up. I’m actually now missing Pete a bit. I go through phases of, i’m utterly fine and then ‘other people’ will butt in and anger me to the fiery limits. Today his sister didn’t harrass Me at all and because Pete had told her not to. At least he finally edged a baby step forward. The thing that’s hard is not ‘oh for the sake of Ruby‘ thing. (I’m a great single mum. I can carry mountains in heels, in glitter showers.) Yet more the simple fact that he actually is hopelessly in love with me.
I called him today to see if he would pack all my things up for Me, so it’d be easier for Me to take at the weekend, if i popped in. (We all know i only rang to hear his voice.) The whole way through the convo you could even feel how much he loved me. He refuses to let me leave him for good, yet does it calmly, with a touch of desperation. *Drink gin here.*
I told him it was over. Already knowing that it wasn’t. I listened to him attempt to impress me, whilst i was attempting to totter across busy roads in heels. (There were lorries *honking* and everything and i’m actually so tragic that I truely thought they were only honking because they fancied me and not because I was a obstruction. Don’t get me wrong there were the odd truck driving ‘honker’s,’ with winks.)
I’m thinking about what I should actually do? Yet i’m now realizing that it was the work of his sister that ruined everything and not really us. Pete read the blog she was referring to and doesn’t even think it’s that bad. Regardless, I will never really associate with the family again becaus of her. Yet, i look at little Rubes and know that she’s gonna need her daddy. Unlike a lot of kiddies, her daddy loves her and also loves me. Do i really want to just be another statisic, because of his jumped up, mouthy sister? I mean, i’ll never have to talk to her again and i always preach that life is shorter than you think.
When someone loves you and hurts you, you can’t help but be angry at them. Yet if they come back with deep rooted sorries, love and ‘be with me’s,’ you’ve kinda jus maybe got to…leave it for the rest of the week and make them suffer that little bit more. 😉
I’m Chrissie ‘IT’ much Wunna! Not Mary frickin’ Poppins!
(My ‘wonky bowed exhausted from the dazzling lights of Morrisons,’ baby.)