It’s 6.48am. I’m laid in bed. My rooms all gloomy. Somewhat dark? It’s raining outside. It’s misty. It’s grey. The droplets on my windows are rushing down endlessly. The sky is undisturbed, almost like a smokey, off white canvas…awaiting some kind of story.
I think there’s a storm coming…The rain’s getting heavier, the patters are getting stronger.
Just before my eyes opened today I dreamt of numbers. This happens to me all the time. I’m quite a spiritual person, so I always Google their meanings if their prominent in my dream.
I dreamt of the number ‘5,’ the number ‘1’ and then they were positioned as ‘15.’ It’s all good. It feels great. Their meanings bring absolutely joy and almost relief to my heart. Lol
I’m going through a lot right now and for the first time in years I can tell you that it’s 92% positive!!!
Thank fuck for that! Haha!
There have been times when I’ve just hit *pause* and pondered at a loss, not knowing where I was going, what I was doing…or what on Earth was happening?. 🙂 These days, well right now, things are really different. It technically shouldn’t be because we’ve all been through a crazy 2020 ‘lockdown?’ But in this present moment, I’ve got my shit together. Life is good! I almost can’t believe it.
I’m really lucky to have so many people in my life showing me such love & support. You need it. If you don’t have it, don’t worry, be your own fire!
So yeah, it’s miserable outside. The storm’s about to make sure of that, but this morning, regardless…I woke up EXCITED! My soul’s filled with joy, I’m happy and I can’t wait to start my day…
This is the month in my life where everything changed for the better. It’s been nuts. But I’m so grateful. It’s made everything I’ve ever felt, worked for or experienced worth it.
It’s the month that changed my life and it’s felt so good that almost anything negative has weirdly just been dissolved away by happiness. But the real kind that calmly glows deep down in your soul. It’s internally beams, as opposed to the sudden rush or flicker of excitement. (Which is still great, yet not stable, lasting or strong.)
Yesterday was great. Early in the day the kids and I had life to conquer. However, we did it and instead of them feeling burdened with unnecessary stress, I asked them what they wanted to do to feel good?
Ruby: ‘I just want to be with you. Shall we just head somewhere and get lunch. I kinda want to buy a colouring book?’
(I always tell you how creative she is. But i’ll literally walk into her room and she’ll be colouring, or waiting for a freshly painted canvases to dry, whilst she’s moulding something out of putty, reading poetry and designing outfits for dolls. Lol. She loves the simply creative pleasures in life. Yet at the same time she adores ‘boujiness.’ A life of luxury. That 5 * quality. So she’s either really simple or really expensive, yet nothing in between ever. Haha. She had the soul of a gypsy, but the ambition of a Queen.)
Junior: ‘I want to go into Leeds and eat somewhere nice.’
(Junior’s our joy. We couldn’t know a more thoughtful human being. He’s certainly ‘babied’ and gets everything he wants based on cuteness. Haha. Yet he’s so grounded and caring. He thinks about everything logically. Yet he’s fair and kind. He’s really emotional and someone who’ll silently cry when he’s happy, or heartbroken. At home he’s a ‘showman.’ Fun! Alive! He’s ambitious and inspires to be in charge of things. Away from prying eyes, he’s LOVES to sing, dance and act. He loves it…and probably more than Ruby. No one would ever think that!)
Anyway! Sorry! We ended up at Blue Sakura, Leeds…and we loved it! It’s all you can eat Japanese food & sushi (you order off an iPad, and it’s brought to you, so you don’t have to get up and do anything, which I like…a lot.) We’ve been before, but every time the kids go, they love it.
So today I’ve got an audition, but for something more fun, than serious, so I’m excited!
I was meant to shoot pics today, but it’s chucking it down? I’ll still try though. The lighting is however shocking.
Then I’m gonna try and Tiktok. I’ve had to neglect it for a couple weeks simply because I’ve been busy working and there’s just hasn’t been time for it. So I’m giving it time today and showing you all some Tiktok love!
Once I hit ‘publish’ I’ve done my blog…so that’s off the ‘to do’ list and I kinda want some neon sliders and a T-shirt with a roaring lions head on it? Where can I get them?
Yesterday I was chatting to Rob, (my agent) and it’s crazy because there’s some really exciting projects that are now opening up to me as opportunities …and I don’t know how I’ve managed to get so far, in what feels like such a short time? I’m still in shock, but delighted and just going with it. I’m so grateful!!
Obviously due to last week, we now have a whole bunch of scheduling to organise, because everything that I’ve auditioned for and ‘booked’ I want to fit in & do. Plus, the scripts that have l been sent through or offered…Well the stories that I love, I certainly want to be a part of. I’m still auditioning, so more work keeps being added AND now the babies are working. Plus, I think he still has a dazzle of negotiating & pitching to tango with…and well I can ever say ‘no’ to the things that make me happy!
He went through this years ‘goals’ with me yesterday and smiled. I was so excited!
Mum: ‘This is it Chrissie. You’re on your way now..’
(She smiled. I like it when my mum smiles.)
That guy that shouted at me at The Botanist messaged me AGAIN to wish me well. I didn’t reply. I ghosted it. I don’t mind people messaging at all. Yet, he just hasn’t made a very good impression at all.
Good friend J: ‘You don’t need to reply to anything. He has closure. You said everything you needed to say that evening…very clearly. There’s nothing more to say. It’s a technique he’s using to try and find an opening.’
‘I’m not even thinking about it. I’m so busy right now and it just feels so negative. I cba. I don’t even know him? This is my life. Haha.’
I forgot to tell you! I created an Amazon wish list the other day. Not one where you force people to purchase. Haha. That’s why I haven’t posted it anywhere. . I mean I can buy my own bunny slippers….just 😉
But I cannot even tell you how therapeutic it began to feel, whenever I hit the ‘add to wish list,’ button. You should try it? At first I didn’t care. Not at all. I’m not aroused by ‘ stuff’ …..at first…Haha. 😉 By item 5, it was almost so satisfying in a peaceful, greedy way? I couldn’t stop? I loved it!
I have the most RANDOM list. It has all sorts on there, like pink netbooks, a Hugh Hefner dressing down, Bunny slippers, retro T-shirt’s, corsets…poetry day books.
Ruby: ‘Why are you adding a Roman godde cosplay outfit? Haha?’
‘I don’t know? I just really want it! :)’
‘Can I add something?’
‘No. It’s my wish list. Not yours.’
‘Haha…I love you Mama.’
Anyway, I hope you have an absolutely beautiful day!
All my love,