Try a little tenderness…

Long time, no speaky! But most of you have been checking in through my ‘socials’ anyhow. So in a way, I kinda feel like I’ve kept you in the loop. 🙂

Obviously a lot as happened… We (Ruby, Junior, my mum & I ) had 3 days of deep rooted stress. But once the mist lifted and we could see, hear and feel more clearly, a ‘magic’ happened and our world, that we call ‘Wunna land’ filled with pure love, happiness & delight.

I always say ‘someone’s watching over us.’ There are times when I believe it. Times when I don’t. But without the faith that everything’s gonna be okay..You have nothing at all. 🙂

Right so! Since the last time I blogged, I booked a film.. ‘You, Me & Kandi.’ I played ‘Zoe,’ who’s the female lead & I had to travel away for a short time, to film it. It was absolutely wonderful and just the best time, with the best team. Some of us (Nicci & Jon) lived together and God, I made some absolute friends for life! I’ll never forget our evenings…But i’ll tell you more about it when the films ready to premier. I always talk about the films I’m in, far too early on this blog. I mean the promo needs to start, when it’s ready for people to watch!

I’ve had tons of meetings and auditions. Three today alone! So things are hotting up now. I’m working hard! Things have got back to normal. I’ve got my eye on the prize. I’m going for it and as of right now…it’s kinda working out.

My agent Rob (who’s fyi amazing) swung by Leeds, from London a couple days ago to chat negotiations and career. We chilled at ‘Browns’ over drinks and discussed. It was the best hour of discussions ever…because we’re both so honest & well we got shit done! I feel really lucky. He pushes really hard! We both do! It feels like it’s gonna work…

As I was walking through Leeds city centre to ‘Browns’ from Trinity…a homeless guy stopped me…

‘I’m so sorry. I know I’m bothering you but I need £8 to get into the hostel..I’ve got 38p…

‘Shit! I’ve got no change! I’ve only got my card!!! Wait….’

I started rummaging through my leopard print bag. I found 10p. Ffs! Haha. Then in a little pocket I found £2.50.

‘Ooooh! Lucky you. Here ya go!’

‘Oh my god! Thank you SO much…That’s the most anyone has managed to…’

‘It’s fine. I’ve go to go to a meeting at Browns. Sorry it’s not much…I hope you..,What’s ya name?’

‘Gavin. Honestly, thank you…What’s yours?


He looked me right in the eye like he wanted to hug me…But then he stopped and said,

‘Hey…i’ll give you a fist pump, because of all this corona…’

He pushed his fist forward, it was covered in bruises, muck and scars. His history all over this one fist.

I ‘pumped.’ Then I smiled and as I walked onward to my meeting…People we’re rushing behind me…and all I could here in the distance was an absolutely delighted Gavin shouting…


I looked back and waved. It made my eyes smile as I turned back around and strutted through the shiny, glass doors of ‘Browns’ where Rob was already sat, waiting…He saw me walk in, smiled and beckoned me over.

That evening turned a moderate day, into a great day. The buzz that I felt from work. The buzz that ‘Gavin’ gave me lasted forever. It still makes me smile.

It made me so happy, whilst I was sat at the station another homeless man walked up to me JUST after a young guy had finished talking a ‘First Dates’ selfie with me.

‘I just wondered if you could buy me a coke from the shop? Not a sugar free one though. A regular one.’

He was so specific, that I knew that he either craved it or needed it!

So there I was…in my grey faux fur and yellow heels, walking him through the Sainsbury’s at Leeds train station…

‘Is that all you want? I mean..honestly, we’re here now, so you might as well get what you want…’

All he had grabbed was a thin can on full sugar coke and a big dairy milk chocolate bar.

He paused.

‘Is it okay if I get another can of coke? I’m just addicted to it…’

And just like that, at check out…the cashier( who’s the ace American lady who always smiles at me) served us. She had literally JUST served me 10 minutes before. She said nothing. But her eyes smiled as she saw the two of us! She looked at me like a proud mama. I beamed and walked off.

Before we even left the store…The homeless guy had already cracked over one of his cokes and was guzzling it like he needed all the sugar in the world.

I’ve done Leeds quite a lot recently. More meetings and quiet ‘socials’ than anything. But I’ve checked into ‘Ginos’ twice. Once with the kids. I’ve done Blue Sakura & The Botanist.

I actually got shouted at over an outdoor terrace, dinner table at The Botanist, by a guy who out of nowhere decided to simply become overwhelmed with insecurity.

I shouted back.

Then I left. I hate that.

I do know the person…and they did try to apologise. But I just don’t suffer fools that well anymore at 39. He sent me a video that just looked staged, with eyes of zero, valid emotion…almost like it had been….well it felt fake.

I never responded. I’m fine with losing friends that aren’t really …well decent enough to me.

God! This blog is long…and so much more has happened? I need to skim!

Right, so I announced that I had a crush and everyone went mental. I had every video reported. An inbox filled with haters. It was nuts. Then all went back to normal.

I’m still crushing on that human. However I don’t think he’s crushing on me back. Haha. (As the story goes…) I mean he likes me…But that’s about it, I reckon… 🙂 I don’t know? But he did say he was on ‘Cloud 9.’ Maybe I’m just insecure or maybe I’m right? Who knows how the take will play out. Luckily we’re both busy humans. It takes the stress off things.

But I’ve definitely decided I’m rubbish at all this crush malarkey. I mean sure I am. I always have a one track mind. So nothing’s ever a ‘numbers game’ to me. I love really hard, once I fall, or decide to go for something. I’m passionate. So I usually just wait it out and concentrate on work, in hope that Mr.Right finds me.

I’m not gonna lie…as you get older…you kinda worry that you may never find that true, true love. That man that just wants to adore you forever. Yet whilst life is so great work wise…it seems that I’m okay? I feel okay. The kids are okay. Life is good. I feel like a great catch right now! Haha.

What else?

Ruby and Junior signed to their first BIG agent. Weirdly… just as they did, another agent offered to sign them also. But they were already done and dusted. They’re actually over the moon! WE made the right choice. Junior can’t believe his little eyes. Ruby expected it. (Haha.) They did their first film audition via their new agent today! I’m so proud! They’re so cute…and they’re both so incredibly creative. I love them so madly. I can’t believe how hard they dream, work and believe for being 9 & 7.

I start filming again shortly. I have a busy audition week. It I’m prepping for work tooo. So it’s all crazy right now. However, I’m really lucky and feel like the most blessed kitten in all the land! I used to have everything crossed, yet now I just work as hard as I can!

As a family we film a commercial shortly. It had to get postponed…and I finally did my everything crossed ‘big break’ audition…which I hope I get. If I do, I do. If I don’t…i’ll still keep going but just work harder!

I start burlesque training shortly…for a little ‘something-something’ and I simply cannot wait! My posts on my insta are getting sexier and sexier as I prepare and get used to the simple, yet beautiful art of the ‘tease.’ (Thank you for all the love im receiving…I’m really grateful because it’s not just about me getting into a bikini and plonking about for ‘likes.’ I’m not like that. I’m way more complex and filled with absolute purpose and soul. Everything I perform means something to me. It’s inspired by my real life, daily experiences. Whether it be a feature film, or a 15 second Tiktok…to me…it’s still a performance and something that’s special because I’m doing what I love…for you.)

I’ve godda go…I’m typing this topless on my iPhone with my thumb and it’s winding me up! Plus ‘Rocco’ the cat is humping everything in sight and it’s awkward.

Things are looking up work wise. The children are the happiest they’ve ever been. The cats horny…I’m doing alright!

I love you all so much. Sorry, it’s a bit of a ramble!

Thank you for all your kind words and thank you for following my life!

My heart,

Chrissie x


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