I’ve been on set all today…well filming anyhow, as the ‘set’ of it is ‘London’ which is rather cold when you forgot to wear ten pairs of panties in the brisk wind of the Captial. But i’m telling ya, if i honestly slip and fall ONE MORE TIME, due to ‘slippery surface-ness’ and not even sheer ‘drunkeness‘ i’m going to take you all down with me! There’s no need for my pretty face to be squashed into a sheer gutter of filth…when sober. It’s like stilettos on ice. Infact, that’s a reality show concept for next year. Throw a bunch of ‘need something to promote’ celebs, bang them in a pair of too tight, cheap looking stilettos, give them 10 shots of the ‘nasty,’ (whatever that is) and make them RACE across an icey pavement in the dark, to a finish line prize of ‘ Ultimate Fame & Fortune.’ (Ooh the phones ringing….Alex Reid has signed himself up!)
Anyway, I’ve finally made it to a cyber cafe in Camden, so i can write another shit blog. (I am aware my blogs are rubbish at this time, but i can’t help it. I have ‘bloggers‘ block, whenever i’m forced to blog from a Cyber Cafe. It makes me feel all uncomfortable, because i’m sat between teenagers looking at porn and giant Dairy Milk bars on sale.) But whatever, come Thursday, it will be astounding!
Talked to loads of you last night on Fan Phone. I’m actually feeling a bit bad now, because a lot of young teenagers are using up all their phone on nattering to me, then being yelled at by their Dads because they’re not emptying the dishwasher. But a couple of goodies, were from a caller i’m going to label ‘Mr.X’ (He came up with that name himself, because he refused to tell me who he was, so he could make like he was a stalker. Sexy! lol ) Anyway, i was tipsy, dancing to the Pussy cat dolls to my mirror image, pouting, winking and only in my ugg boots, when my Fan Phone ‘beckons’ and i find myself on a call to ‘Mr.X’..who was quite glamourously sitting on his sofa, about to watch ‘Coronation Street.’
Funnily enough, (apart from the not telling me who he is thing) he was quite hilarious. He totally tuned into my rather rubbish sense of humour and well anytime you get talking about Gary Glitter and how he was ‘never around when i was a child’ and how R Kelly completely got away with looking at child pornography and is still at the top of the US Billboard chats, yet ‘Glitter‘ (loved his evil eye makeup) gets executed…or whatever. ‘Mr.X’ then scorned me after pissing himself (with laughter..not wee) and reminded me that i do not know who he is, yet i’m quite freely telling him everything. Hahaha. I reminded him that that is why i am usually always in trouble. (He says he gonna give me clues to his identity, via Facebook. It sounds semi-sexy..but really it’s just looong innit. HAHA.)
After spazzing about with cocktails, eating peppermint Aeros and talking to myself quite loudly. I then had to go through a series of pictures that needed ‘approving.’ I always end up doing this drunk, which is never good, because when i’m drunky, i always pick the really ‘slutty‘ ones! HAHA. I’m like a dirty bloke, trapped inside a Kitty Queens, body. (Delicious!) So, yeah simply by accident, another round of ‘slaggy’ Wunna pictures will be trickling there way out to the world, where i will be ridiculed and called ‘pathetic‘ (haha…it’s wrong that i love being called ‘pathetic.’) Yet honestly, who cares? I’m a little darling of a Glamour puss, a dolly delight. I love what i’m doing and well you can’t hate me for being happy. Let me PLAY!
Shit, i got distracted, and started talking about myself, when what i wanted to tell you about was a young prim and proper lady called ‘Alexis’ who called Fan Phone last night. She’s orginally from Romania, but called me from Scotland. has a PHD in psycology she does. (I don’t care if i spelt that wrong. Correct spelling is for those with too much time on their hands. *hair toss*) Anyway, she was telling me how different she was from me, but how inspired she was by me and my blog, and how she re;ated to it so deeply. Like when i was going through a donw time..she was..yet the next day i’d be happy again, which would maker her feel like she should be happy. (Awww..) Infact, she felt like she knew me, almost like a big sister, cos i’m letting you live my life with me..and all that jiggery pokery.
ANYWAY..god i don’t half ramble. But she’s the kinda girl that is never the ‘centre of attention’…always kind of ‘behind the scenes’ as she put it. (On the other side of the camera) And well she kept telling me she was boring and sort of dressed in a way that would suggest that she didn’t care for the way that she looked, when really she secretly did. I found her deeply interesting. I enjoy people who are different to me. I mean, i’m a party, overly boobied, cocktails, fun time Pussy of play, and we couldn’t be more different. However, she told me she was being the way she was, (only had one beer in her life) not because she didn’t want to sort of be playful and be the centre of attention, but because she DAREN’T be, due to what others (her surroundings) would think! OMG!! Now, i’m one to not give a jollies about what others think. I love who i am and i celebrate it. I encourage that in others. Infact, she actually started a blog because of me. It was something she always wanted to do, but was scared to for some reason..because her friends might think she was ‘pathetic.’ lol. Bottom line, i get called a great deal of things on a hourly basis…haha…’pathetic’ being one of the merry terms of delight..But remember you’re not pathetic for living a dream, you’re greatness for making those who wish they were, believe that they can. The haters can hate….it’s what they do best! 🙂
Anyhow, long story short, i managed to boost her confidence….i don’t like people to be scared to do the things that they want to do. You have ONE shot! It’s life. Don’t underestimate how important your life is!! And well now, and because of that simply phone call…i’m setting her up with a top photographer, making her get her pretty arse to London, she’s going to a do a sexy shoot that makes her feel ‘glamourous’ and well that’s her ‘step forward’ to her ‘happy place,’ gifted to her by The Wunna. The rest is on her! I had a very sucessful young lady say to me recently, ‘There… i gave you your start….now you make the finish.’ 😉
Other than that, i’ve actualyl got a lot of work on this week until Thursday. Filming all week, tomorrow i have a meeting and a quick shoot with Billi Bhatti’s girlfriend, ‘Alex.’ (A favour for a favour) I do actualyl have the flu right now, but fuck it work needs to be done. Plus, i like it because when boys talk too close to my face, i tell them i’m germ infested. It doesn’t bother them though. (Eww much!) I think the line was ‘Good we can spread viruses together.’ (Then did a willy window dance in the bar.) LOL.
The Footballer that i don’t fancy called me last night..after reading my blog. (Oops! *Fans herself*) However, to my surprise instead of bollocking me, he said ‘Before training today, i scrambled to my iphone to read your blog. I read it. What i meant to say to you was….when i don’t have a partner i feel weak. I feel empty. When i do have someone to love and someone who loves me back, i am strong. I want that someone to be you..you will make me strong and well….i’m lonely. I need strength right now, to get where i want to be…it just kinda came out all titties and sucky.’
I mean i still don’t want to date him, due to me believing it just isn’t the right match. I don’t have ‘wag‘ in me. I don’t know why? I love ‘wags‘ tooo! I just need to do my thing, i have a lot i want to achieve and i believe that is stemmed from my previous marriage where i feel i put my husbands career, before my own and sort of accpeted he was ‘better,’ when he wasn’t. I do love Mikey (ex hubby) deeply so that’s not a jab, my own laziness and insecurities got the better of me at that time. I adore that man.
Again, i got off the subject, bottom line the ‘Footballer’ who i then had to talk through ‘money’ with. He’s really shit with ‘spondoolies’ and well i’m dead good with the old ‘cashola.’ I told him not to spaz it on crap that wasn’t really important. People always complain that they’re broke, but really, the only way you cannot have money is if someone has STOLEN it from you, or if you have carelessly SPENT it. If neither of those two factors have occured and you’re making it, then really you will have no money worries at all. (Saying that i do love a good ‘spend.’ I enjoy good times, fun and lavishness. Yet i’m now in a position where a splurge won’t break my heart..too much. Hahaha. *wink-purr.*
Anyway, i hope you have a Wunnaful evening, full of delight and drama and magic and fun. Keep if sexy, keep it ooh laa, check your deliciousness and create your future. Make strong choices and hope for the fucking best! I love you all sooooo much, but i can’t WAIT until it’s actually the weekend, when i’m on a break, and i get my internet back, and i can party party, play play and smear my pokery across the land! I need fun, excitement and danger. My work life, now takes a meaty chunk out of my social life. Haha..but darlings…i love it. Thankyou for everything.
(Oh and i love that you’ve all started blogs this year!! Especially the ones that believe they were inspired by my sorry ass…lol. I can’t wait to read them all. Write it out kittens! I got called the ‘Michael Jackson’ of bloggers the other day. I like that! Keep the flattery coming. Hahaha. Attention, attention…..more more more. God i feel like my blogs become a Bible…it’s made up of frilly parables, with morals. I need Thursday to come, so it can get a but juicier than this! )
Fan Phone is on tonight.Fuck it, i’m doing it tipsy! I need a break! *adjusts boobies*