Trouble in paradise

Loong day! Today was the day that Loverboy and I went on an afternoon of appartment/house hunting…a job that i find tedious, boring and draining. I actually hate it and have zero interest in such a task. I mean, i’ve lived everywhere and in about 14 different places since being 19. This isn’t such a big deal to me. Just *point* and i’ll move my shit in. Done deal.

Pete..on the other hand, treasures this moment like it’s the most preciously, exciting time of his life. He’s probably lived in approximately ONE place since moving out of his parents and regards a *move* as a BIG thing…especially one with me, as it notches other solid step with ‘The Wunna,’ that he’s managed to achieve.

Bottom line…we fought…and about 20 minutes ago i *hair tossed* & flounced out of his car, with a stern home truth, topped off with a *slam* of the door. I was also in my hot yellow jacket , which always makes me feel powerful. *Strut-strut-get out of my way.* His new thing is, dropping me back off home when i’m moody, to try and punish me. *Snooze* I’m not 5 years old. Plus, if i was…i’d love my naughty step. The bad thing is that it always backfires on him, because whenever he drops me off, all i do is walk out of his car and gallop into my home merrily. I’m happy anywhere. I enjoy my own company. You open a door and i’ll *shimmie* out of it, with a smile and a glint of *adventure* in my eye.

I’m feisty today, really feisty and this afternoon ended with him making cheap ‘heard them all before’ remarks about my life and how i don’t actually now what a normal life of reality is. ERM???? Just because i worked hard, moved to Hollywood, made a lot of money, lived my dream, struggled my way to getting on a fun show, and gave up everything for my career as a young twenty year old, doesn’t mean i don’t know what a normal life is! I came from a normal life. I worked hard for what i wanted. I worked hard for my dream…which was pretty much OUT OF Yorkshire, in Hollywood and in entertainment. I achieved my fairytale, due to ambition, love, determination and dedication. Just because another ‘being’ didn’t…doesn’t mean they have to take a jab at me to make themselves feel better. That’s the second indirect sarcastic *jab* he’s made at me recently. The first being yesterday over dinner. I’m not liking it and well i felt attacked. So what did i do…i told him a  few home truths about himself…which ‘oh dear’ he didn’t enjoy too much! I’m really angry at him right now. Therefore, i’ve opted for spending my free time with my family, friends and cyberland fans. It makes me happy, because i feel much more appreciated. If i do anything, i champion people on to celebrate who THEY are and make encourage them to chase their dreams. When some boy is giving me the ‘well it’s not like you’ve had a proper job’ speech. It irritates me.

Entertainment IS a PROPER job, if you do well at it and i’ve done well. I’m happy. He’s just pissed off because i’ve followed a dream and managed to do something that i adore.I celebrate it loudly with a cheeky gallop of ‘ooh laa.’  He never did follow his dream because (wait for it) OH LOOK…he couldn’t be arsed! He grew up around friends who didn’t care about their lives too much. I grew up around Hollywood friends with a delicious sense of drive and ambition. It rubs off on you. You’re a product of your environment.

I feel like he tried to verbally ‘have a go’ today… but couldn’t. I’m as strong as they come. You try and get me from any angle. You’ll bounce right off me, without me even having to say anything. I’m not like one of his normal chavy girfriends. If you’re gonna date Chrissie Wunna, then you’ll learn how i do life! You can either fight the force out of fear or join it. I suggest you join..and simply because i make great cocktails. (I don’t make them. I buy them.)

Anyhow, this will all be sorted by tonight or tomorrow, so i’m having a quick vent. But i’m not apolgising. He can. I don’t know what’s up with him right now? Yet that behaviour is not only unacceptable, but also ‘tired.’ Boys gets like this with me after a while. It was almost like…and dare i even say it…But yeah, it was almost like,  for one tiny moment.. he was jealous. (I don’t enjoy boys like that. Same story, different face.)

After we saw some tiny appartment in Leeds today, we actually had a really lovely time. We first went for drinks at ‘The Lounge’ which was all lush, divine and sexy. Littered with extravagant velvet rouge chairs of ultimate glamour. I only got a cranberry juice and weirdly, i’m liking being all *teetotal.* Who’d a thought?

Anyhow because they wouldn’t let us order off the Supper menu, Pete decided he wanted to leave and go to ‘Nash’s’ which is an old school fish & chip restuarant. It’s actually amazing,. I mean as soon as you wlak into that place, you feel like you’re immediately glided back int ime to another era. The place smelt delicious…asn well i’m northern. I LOVE a good old plate of the best cooked fish and chippies! It was delicious, but the venue began to smell a bit like a Grannies closet.

To my left was an old couple. Probably in their 70’s i think? They were dressed to the nines, which i actually truely love. Music from romantic olden times were playing, the place with decorated with dark wood and oozed a decades old atmosphere. There were large old fashioned cages with fake birds in them.. a swinging. (As in merrily and not as in partner swapping during sex.) Not only did i notice that the granny had a black jumper on and a bright red berret. But i also noticed that whenever she was super full she would give out a GIANTLY loud *BURP* without a care in the world…almost as if she was a pirate. I LOVED that, but unfortunately can’t help but piss myself in those situations.

I laughed out loud, whilst trying to hide behind a cuppa tea. (Not a very good thing to hide behind really.) I looked at her, after really trying hard not to and she gave me a *wink.* Which i returned with a polite *giggle.* I WANT to be her, when i’m old. I’m sit their in my red berret, burping air back into my system loudly for attention. I can’t wait! (Well, i kinda can.)

Lunch was lovely. I bought us it, because at that time Loverboy and I were being all cute and lovey dovey. It was the car journey back home where the bickering began. He wanted to go from estate agent, to estate agent, and look at as many houses as possbile that were for sale, in the nearest nicest block. I was exhausted. I still am from London and i’m in a condition where i’m getting tired really easily because e’s on a different body clockage to me.

I will have got up at 4am, worked for the morning, written for a bit and got my groove on. He will them hang out with me, but instead of granting me much needed early night, he keeps me up and working on his body clock.

The other night, we took me to Mal Maison in leeds for a groegous steak dinner. I was utterly exhausted, but still dolled up and without complaining went with him. It is such a deliciously divine place. Yet i couldn’t really enjoy it because i was so tired. That ‘too tired’ when you feel like you’re simply existing in some parcel of flesh, that seems to be functioing hazily, yet you do not know how. I couldn’t even keep my eyes open. But i did it, and i did it for him!

I had been up for 20 hours of that 24 hour day…and Loverboy (Mr.Fairytale) couldn’t be arsed to think of that due to his drinking and smoking. He wanted to carry on going out with me. But i just couldn’t. Infact, he kept rubbing in the fact that I must be ridicluously tired. THEN TAKE ME HOME!

When i did get home i just *passed out* in my sheets in a heavenly fashion. Tonight will actually be great because i will finally get to enjoy an early night, time to relax, recoup and just be me. I can’t wait! I’m excitde! especially after the day i’ve had. I’ve felt a bit *pushed* and hurried into things by him at the estate agents today. I’m have commitment phobia. Pushing and hurrying me into something terrifies me, due to past mistakes. It makes my heart beat faster and my palms sweat. (It’s not a good thing.) Boys always seem to do that to me, because they don’t want to give me time to think. If i think, they fear that i might not go through with it.

Right now, I need space and luckily tonight i will have it. Family & kittens here i come! YIPPEEE! (Aww, i do do adore my tiny kittens. I love my time alone with them. They look at me, like they seem to want something other than food, shelter and booze. That thing is love and if i can do anything, i can sure as hell give love.

Stressful day. Boy drama. Eww! The funny thing about all this, is that we actually and very ACCIDENTALLY wore matching outfits today, in bright yellow. (This isn’t the first time.) Pete enjoys matching. I prefer a miss-match…match. We got called a pair of ‘yellow chickens’ today and ridiculed by polish people. 🙂 Life couldn’t be better. #saveme

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