Topless Tea for two

I’ve found out that i’m solar powered. When the sun is out, i work. When it  turns to ‘shade’ i stop…and completely. I’ve been out in the garden, sunbathing and talking to my gardener, who likes my boobs and topless tea making. He’ll probably get fired now for simply not mowing the lawn, but ah well…shit happens.

Topless tea making is where you wait for your fit gardener to turn up and you accidentally make him a cup of tea, through a window, topless, making sure that you are getting seen, but totally pretending that you haven’t noticed them, OR the fact that you are topless. It’s hilarious, because men are mildy retarded around boobies. They turn into overly boned beasts, followed by a moment of ‘soppy mess.’ However, i don’t care. I don’t fancy the gardener and simply because, when he’s no longer in the sun, he’s no longer hot. He just looks all cold and bundled up, and like he finds mowing a chore. If you’re not shirtless and sweaty, whilst operating heavy machinery, then what’s the point…like really? (Waste of my time.) *Glamour pussy-wink* I’m like a Desperate housewife but without being a housewife…which practically just makes me ‘desperate.’ Whoppeee! I also used to say i was LIKE a Wag. Yet without being a ‘wife or girlfriend’ of anything really, but the world. And ofcourse myself.

My Handsome Date boy, text me today, to check up on me and to make sure I knew he cared. I was chatting to the gardener about topless tea, which made ‘Handsome date boy’ want to actually quit his job and find a new one, just so he can monitor me more. Yet under the code of ‘I’d get to spend more time with you.’ I am joking. He is genuinely lovely and wants everything to work out perfectly. Plus, i enjoy that he cares, because it makes me care for him. Yet, i even more enjoy that he will tell me that he has feelings for me…without fear.

Don’t get me wrong, I am mildy worried because he’s just broken up with a girl, that he was with for a jolly amount of time. He’s randomly bumped into me and almost luckily we’ve hit it off. I mean we both think it’s great. It’s quite lucky. However, i’m sure if i was the girl, who had just broken up with the boy..i wouldn’t really enjoy him to immediately fall into the hands of Chrissie Wunna. Luckily, i am the legend that is Chrissie Wunna…haha…so, i feel amazing. But i did politely warn him that if i was actually ‘rebound girl’…i’d kill him. 🙂 He claims that i am ‘perfect.’ (Which i adore.) Yet, i’m the kinda girl that vomits on first dates. I did put that to him and all he said (that delicious man of charm) was, ‘You make puking on dates look sexy 😉 .’ (Aww.) But i kinda do! *Winky wink* I think it was more what i did afterwards with my jubblies, that made up for the ‘being sick.’ Having boobs, is the best thing i’ve ever done!!! I do wish i could see him more though. At the beginning, i feel it’s really important to spend the quality time with each other. It sort of gets the relationship going. He’s a great guy!

Other than that, i heard some AMAZING work news today. Got a bit of an exciting contract. (I thankyou very much.) One that i didn’t even know i had, until my friend John called me and said ‘You really should check your email.’ My inbox terrfies me, due to it’s fullness. I can’t handle it because i’m always hungover. But yeah, in there is a contract, wedged between, messages from beautiful little girls and honry perverts. WELL DONE much!! I can’t believe it. All i can say is, ‘heellllooo world, here i come.’

I’m pretty confident because nothing i really truely want, EVER fails, because i’m all heart and highly ambitious. My determination is EVIL. Therefore this is all i needed really, to take that step forward and with a BRILLIANT TEAM of ‘ooh laa.‘ I’m really grateful. I seem to fall into the exact right hands, much of the time, and by accident. I get drunk, and well the Good time gods, save me and fling me ungracefully into the safe hands of opportunity. Wish me luck. I’ll need it. But i’m ready! Bull by the horns baby! *Wrestles*

Good things happen, to good people! I need a cuppa tea now and a strawberry and cream bath. It’s my new favourite type of bath. It smells like dessert and fake tan. 🙂 I tie my hair up, but keep my face on, when in the bath..because i don’t wanna look fugly. You never know who might join you?  I used to have roomates in Hollywood, who would always walk in on my bathtime. But anyway, being the champion that I am, i still managed to last time, gracefully and rather sexily ease up out of my creamy bubble bath, then skid on my own foot and FALL out of the fucking tub! This is why we love me.

(I’ve just read on Facebook that my raven haired beauty Harriet, has only just woke, up and already made a suicide pact. I do love my friends!)

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